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One day in the future, Jesse Jackson has a heart-attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hel_l, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I

have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you

what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as

bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Jesse thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the

first room. In it, was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water.

He kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he

dove in and surfaced with nothing.

Such was his fate in hel_l.

"No," Jesse said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't

think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.

In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did

was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, this is no good, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in

constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Jesse.

The devil opened a third door.

Through it, Jesse saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied

over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose.

Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Jesse looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I

can handle this."

The devil smiled and said . . . . . .

* * * * * * *

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

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