Sing_Sling Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) Wise move, Filipinas can be quite the jealous ones! Edited February 27, 2012 by Sing_Sling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaMah Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You sir, deserve a nice cold beer. You are not only an officer, but a Gentleman as well. I bid you good day, Sir. Spot on. Thanks. Nice of you to say. I like draft John Courage lol. I've been wondering if there is any in all of Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evadgib Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I suspect this thread is a wind-up. The way I used to get round it (being glared at) was by bellowing "Oh look! Mr & Mrs 'Silver Wedding' are glaring at us again! <or derivatives thereof>". Worked every time:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingerbel Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Hi Ruperts, I also dealt with this when i was the same age as you (now 40), at first I couldnt really deal wth it and everywhere i went with my GF/wife (we are still married) I thought people were looking at us and talking about us. But that was just it, I THOUGHT IT! The majority was in my head, I had a pre concived notion that this was going to happen, that everyone would think I had bought a Thai wife. i used to recount the story to everyone that would listen of how we met, so that everyone we knew and even people we didnt, knew I didnt meet her in a bar in Bangkok whilst on holiday. I was in the RAF then and yeah, I got some comments from the lads and at first got annoyed, fustrated and wound so tight I exploded in a fist of fury style rampage whilst on exercise and subsequently was sent home. It was at this point that I realise that the problem and the cause of the problem was infact me. I was the one letting myself get in such a state when in reality it didnt matter, I didnt marry her because she was Thai, I married her because I loved her, so realisedf it only mattered what I, my wife and our familes thought. We lived in the UK for 12years after that, only moving here to Bangkok for work and to be honest we both miss the UK like crazy. Dinger 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I think the OP just feels conscious that the white folks think he's got himself a mail order bride. Although I realise that there are still bigots left in the UK, I doubt very much that everyone in his neck of the woods is so inclined. The guy just suffers from low self-esteem - the type that probably brought him to Thailand in the first place looking for the sexual success that may have eluded him in Blighty. He probably looks at himself, feels that he's not in the same league as his GF in terms of aesthetics and concludes that everyone else is making the same judgment too. Of course, in some instances, that may actually be the case but what's the alternative; hooking up with a pale, corned beef-legged English lass?? The guy should've thought about this before he brought her back to the UK but if he doesn't deal with his inferiority complex sharpish, chances are that a guy with gumption will prise her from his side while he's using the toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post phuturatica Posted February 27, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted February 27, 2012 This sounds like a social anxiety disorder to me. It probably isn't really that big a deal but because it's different for you it's become like a paranoia in your head. The only way to get over this is just remember that you're with her and she makes you happy. All the people who you think are staring are just curious. Sometimes when people do something a little bit different they can develop a social anxiety disorder being in public and they become increasingly uncomfortable about what other people think and then it escalates into paranoia where you think everyone is staring and making comments. You should just remember the real reason you're with her and not what other people think. They're no body in your life. As for your mates around you, if you think they pull faces, they're probably just jealous as most men like a good looking Asian woman. Change your outlook on how you think. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenSnapper Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Ask yourself a simple question: If you'd be single again, would you want to have the kind of girlfriends/wives your fellow countrymen have? Lookwise and about attitude? Then you know why the men envy you and the women hate you. Regard yourself happy you had a choice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 i think it is pretty clear that you are ashamed of your wife. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Pretty hard to believe that in 2012, in the UK, a white guy being with an Asian girl the same age as himself causes attention. I hesistate to say that OP is in his own head a wee bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nontabury Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Yes, I agree many people in the UK think that all Thai girls are b/g, but that is their problem, ignore them, get on with your life it's what you know and think that is important, maybe they are jealous that you have a beautiful g/f. On a side issue, I'v been told by a few Thai's, that they also think that when they see a Thai girl with a Farang male,she must be b/g, age and looks do not come into it, it's just an assumption they automatically make. Probably right approx 85% of the time,but the other 15% they are wrong, and most will admit it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 What is her job? How did she get to your Western country? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonobo Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Easy to write, but harder to do. Yes, you just need to get over it. You probably are ashamed of your wife, at least in part, despite your love for her, and that is niggling at the back of your head. Maybe it will take therapy to get over that. In the US, I have not really seen any negative reaction when I have been there with a Thai woman. But as a retired Marine, yes, I did see the looks around Navy or Marine bases when a man was with a Filipina, or around Air Force or Army bases when the woman was Korean. The assumption was that all the women were bargirls, and yes, comments were even made. In talking with the men, some men couldn't take it and divorced. But the ones who were successful in their marriages were the ones who could just shrug it off and say to heck with them all. What mattered was their own happiness. It didn't seem to matter if the woman used to be a bargirl or not. What mattered was the husband's ability to ignore any negative reaction and just focus on the good. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chops Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) I have never taken my Thai wife to the US, but I don't think Americans know much about Thai people. They are very naive so they probably think they are Chinese or something. Maybe you are from the UK and people know more about the reputation of that area of the planet. Edited February 27, 2012 by chops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave111223 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) My social life is now almost non-existant because I don't want to go out and meet people and then have to watch their faces react when they find out my gf is Thai. Why would you want to go out and make new friends with racists anyways? Whether you had a Thai girlfriend or not...or would you normally be hanging out with the racist crowd? Edited February 27, 2012 by dave111223 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lroche101 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I think you are paranoid, and the cause of that might be yourself. You might be the one who thinks deep inside that having a thai girlfriend will be looked down. If you can't realize that, you are being unfair to your girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norrona Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I have had situations like the OP where we have got looks but I take it as a compliment, I am 38 and she is 25 so no massive age difference but yes we do get it too when out and about in Essex which is not exactly 100% white(more orange/fake tan)...not so long ago we was in my local for a few beers and when we left a group of blokes said something and there was wolf whistles etc....I just turned round and blew them a kiss and gave them a cheeky wink... it's when people don't look or look down at the floor is when you got to worry.... No point trying to put everyone right...you'll never win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Maybe if you used a different word than stigma, you would find it easier to come to a happier conclusion. Try "joy", or "romance", or "infatuation" - or "novelty" if you feel you must take some account of those around you. Or "prurience". My favourite, though, would be "dealing with the pantechnicon of having a Thia girlfriend", though I would struggle to find a sensible explanation of what it might mean. Its probably a metaphor. When you say "in Homeland" I assume you mean in Homeland Security. I imagine your colleagues there might raise a quizzical eyebrow... SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
true blue Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 when i took my wife to uk i was accepting(hoping) raised eye brows and looks but no such luck,and there is a big age difference,get more looks and stares in los,work that one out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelomsak Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I really donot undestand the problem. If you love her I feel you should be with her when out in public not with the strangers around you at the time.If you love her, then her happiness and comfort should be first and foremost. With that in mind when in public if you are helping her with her english you should do it with pleasure knowing it is showing her that you care for her wherever you are together and that she is the most important person for you in the room. Keep in mind after you are home out of the public eye it is her you live with not the strangers you were afraid might judge you. Support her emotionally, she may feel very alone in a foreign country,without family and friends from her homeland. I feel you should look at the reasons you feel the way you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurwait Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Get over it, live your life for yourselves or you will never be happy. If you're not prepared to do that then you might as well get divorced now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onionluke Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You could have a bit of a laugh about it all . When you are introducing your nearest and dearest to your work mates or in a restaurant where you feel all are looking on disaprovingly , get her to talk in a really deep voice . You know , like " Pass me the salt teelak " , but in a gruff man's voice . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenervoussurgeon Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 And if i walked into a hotel and the staff told me i had to pay extra for my wife ,i would book out instantly . we have stayed in hotels all over Thailand and this has NEVER EVER happened Well, you're in your eighties and your better half in her fifties . . . that does make a difference in the staff's attitude. Let's also not forget that hotels are required by law to get details of people 'staying' at their premises and moaning about it is ridiculous Well i have heard it all now ,in my 80s god i look good for my age ,no a long way to go to get into my 80s but hope i do , and i was not refering to my wife checking in as you well know ,we were discussing the fact that the staff had assumed that his wife was a bar girl and wanted more money for her ,this has never happened ,i presume they take us as a married couple ,mind you if you book in alone and then turn up that night with a young girl in a short skirt a tatoo and a boob tube they may ask for a further fee and her identity card . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I think you are being cruel to your GF. I also think you are being gently treated by my esteemed colleagues here. I don't think you mean to be cruel to your GF. So here is what I would do. I would take pride in her, I would show I was proud of her. I would take her everywhere, and let her talk like a budgie on speed. If you don't look after this lady you will regret this act of emotional cowardice for the rest of your life. I don't think you are an emotional coward. Good luck. I retract what I said about my esteemed colleagues being nice to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a99az Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 How odd! Why should you even be thinking about what other people might or might not think. I took my wife (22 years younger than me) back to Spain along with our daughter of 2 at the time, and I can't remember a day in the two years there when ether of us felt uncomfortable when out and about, same here. At our local Chinese restaurant the staff kept coming up to her and talking in Chinese for the first couple of visits but soon came to realize she did not speak there language. Had one or two nice comments from people saying our daughter looked so beautiful, she is too. So why give it a second thought, unless you feel you are out of order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BespokeMan Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Rupets, my dear ole' chap ... as some others have said before ... a photo might help us help you. waiting ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 It has got nothing to do with your girl being Asian and everything to do with her being Thai. You are embarrassed that the(present) love of your life comes from a country which many people perceive to be the World's brothel. Right? I suggest you put these people right. Tell them where you met her, unless it was in a brothel, explain to these people who have never travelled to such a wild country what Thailand is really like, but above all be proud of your girl before you lose her to someone who would be. If he starts to explain himself to strangers he's set himself up with a job for life. They're strangers. Their opinion doesn't count. Ignore them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) And if i walked into a hotel and the staff told me i had to pay extra for my wife ,i would book out instantly . we have stayed in hotels all over Thailand and this has NEVER EVER happened admittedly in my instance this was the security guard on our 3rd day which was xmas eve - and he said no hookers allowed at the gala party. I doubt he'll make that mistake twice, my wife certainly handed him an edumacation! 6 years ago at our wedding i wondered what the response to my wife would be if we should go to England and how I would deal with that response so I get where the OP is coming from. I've walked away from far worse personally but do get punchy if people I care about are involved. I think the OP would be surprised at all the new friends he would gain as based on comments from various sites, more than a fair few would be round attempting to shag her! That was the running joke amongst all of my pals ( yes I do have pals ). To a man they admitted they were jealous of my beautiful Thai GF......I don't blame them cos at times I couldn't believe my luck too. I was also lucky that she had that combination of sunshine personality and Thai temper.....she would laugh at the drop of a hat, but equally if anyone said anything out of order woe betide them, 45 kg of furious Thai female is a sight to behold. I miss her No I don't.......yes I do......no I don't......oh goddammit Edited February 27, 2012 by theblether 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tavarich Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Forget the psyco babble. Forget societies (norms) I have two words of wisdom for all the judgemental people. Fukc em. Live your life. Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rijb Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) I have never taken my Thai wife to the US, but I don't think Americans know much about Thai people. They are very naive so they probably think they are Chinese or something. Maybe you are from the UK and people know more about the reputation of that area of the planet. Naive? I don't think you know much about Americans. My wife and I lived in various US locations for 30 years. Never had a problem. Many cities have active Thai communities. And Thai restaurants are very popular. What people around you care about is how you treat them. Research suggests that we overestimate how much we may be singled out and judged by others. But, I'd be happy to tell you what I think about someone who makes inane generalizations about 300 million people. Edited February 27, 2012 by rijb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 And if i walked into a hotel and the staff told me i had to pay extra for my wife ,i would book out instantly . we have stayed in hotels all over Thailand and this has NEVER EVER happened Has happened to Mrs. Rakers when we went to visit a friend at Mikes Hotel (?) in Pattaya once. They were soon sent scampering for cover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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