girlx Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 a couple of girls i know in long term relationships with thai men have recently left with them to their own countries, and i have never heard from them again. which leads me to wonder what sort of experience they are having...? i know SBK and Boo at least have taken their husbands home... assuming they hadn't been to a western country before, what sort of problems did you end up having? was there culture shock on their end? did they hide out in your room or get out and try to see and learn new things? did they work? do they prefer to be home in thailand or in your country? no particular reason for asking, just curious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 p.s. part 2- how was it when you returned to thailand? do you feel they changed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Took him home for the first time nearly 2 years ago & are both still here The only problem he has had is difficulty finding work but then he is a 36 y/o musician/artist with no experience at any "normal jobs", so he does some work in a Thai resteraunt, plays music for their large thai parties & paints a lot which he sells on ebay or to private comissions. He hasn't changed in any obvious way but his friends had a laugh at his expense when went back in March this year, cause he was so pale & had cut his hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 a couple of girls i know in long term relationships with thai men have recently left with them to their own countries, and i have never heard from them again. which leads me to wonder what sort of experience they are having...? i know SBK and Boo at least have taken their husbands home... assuming they hadn't been to a western country before, what sort of problems did you end up having? was there culture shock on their end? did they hide out in your room or get out and try to see and learn new things? did they work? do they prefer to be home in thailand or in your country? no particular reason for asking, just curious... culture shock, not much surprisingly enough. I think the biggest problem for him was the lack of a social network. He loved getting out, driving around in the car, meeting new people, seeing new places and trying new food. In fact, if it weren't so expensive, he would love to live in the US for at least part of the year. He got a green card and worked for about 9 months the first time and 5-6 months the next year. We both chose to be in thailand because it is much easier place for a young couple without much money to start out (esp when his dad owned the land we built on). p.s. part 2- how was it when you returned to thailand? do you feel they changed? Coming back it was better because he understood me better, where i came from, what my life was like back home and understood the depths of my sacrifice by living here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 oh forgot to add, he goes out & about by his-self all the time, takes the train, tube, bus etc with out trouble, has made a couple of thai friends but is also close to my step dad, uncle & cousin & plays golf with them every month. Fortunately he is a very private person & doesn't need large groups of people to keep himself amused, he works alone for long hours painting, writing music or doing computor things but I have a friend who's husband was always bored in London as he couldn't read or write english & had trouble getting around, he also didn't have any hobbies so sat most days getting very bored. Thankfully he got a job as a chef otherwise I dont' think he would have lasted much longer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seonai Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 yes Girlx my experience exactly like SBK and BOO, it takes a while for someone to understand a completely different lifestyle but it can work!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 (edited) another question- did they make any friends in your country? and SBK, was it hard to get him a visa to the US??!? -oops, boo i just noticed you said that your hubby met thai friends in your country... but what about american or british friends? Edited December 14, 2005 by girlx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 He doesn't have too many English friends, he knows one or two but not close freindships but then he doesn't see his thai freinds regularly either, about once a month for an evening or to go to the driving range. As I said, he is immensly private & he is very quiet too, most people don't know how to take him as he doesn't beleive in being fake socially (being overtly friendly with strangers) & he takes his time getting to know people, he is happy in his own company (as am I) & we can both spend a week at home together without seeing another soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moscow5 Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 (edited) girlx, my fiance and i are moving to the states in october and i think about this a lot. i think my hubby'll be a lot like yours, boo - similar personalities, it sounds like. Edited December 14, 2005 by moscow5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bina Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 sounds like my partner (havent worked out how to call him yet, boyfriend sounds stupid at age 40) he is a foreign worker of course here in israel so a little different, but unlike the other guys here, he actively seeks to go out and travel around a bit (after all in foreign country might as well visit also no?), he doesnt speak a word of hebrew after three years here (not three with me ) but has managed to get along very well with my kids, (no english either between all of them) and my best friend (no english, no thai but she is sanook! and morraccan warm hearted)... he is also intensly private and self entertaining (meditates, plays guitar, plays internet, watches ants walk around -- no joke-- flexible except for food: will nto touch western or israeli food (except for cake)... and can build anything with his own two hands... boo and sbk, he is seeing first hand what i will be exchanging when (i hope) i move to thailand: obviously my children but also he enjoys the joys of microwave, washing machine etc (we will not have, no $$), car (i have a broken down jalopy that smells like goat), etc ... he requested to go to the wailing wall in jerusalem (to see what my religioun does.... ), etc etc...my ex husband when in the states the first time was miserable (doesnt matter, not thai but foreign all the same); very unflexible and not able to be self entertaining and i didnt have a huge social group to introduce him to, so.... by the way, culture shock doesnt happen the first few months but often later, when the person is sick, or things are less 'new' and settle in to a sort of rut, like real life is often ... suddenly they are less busy discovering things and have more time to compare (in thailand, israel, england xxx we do it like this, how ocme u dont do it here in xxx?.... etc etc)... when i worked with new immigrants i was taught that there is a sort of graph/curve: in the beginning there is anxiousness and pleasure with the adjustment to the unknown, then euphoria and then a depression/falling down, before things smooth out (if they do,that is), time patience and pro-active doing things, explaining things, and understanding that after 19:00 in the evening, the person's language skills fall apart as do their understanding of the different cultures --unless they are very acculturated already , due to shear tiredness (i am guilty of this, so was my ex when he was in the states) hope i explained coherently, havent had coffee yet this a.m..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theresiababy Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I would like to take my boyfriend to Germany! I hope he loves me just like that I love him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellohello Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 I tried to get a visa for my then B/f. It was shot down. That was 3 years ago. We'll try again now that we are married and we have learned more about the "rules". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 I should hope that after 3 years & being married that the visa shouldn't be a problem anymore hellohello, I heard the states was hard to get a visa for & the process last a lot long than fo the UK so fingers crossed for you both btw I got your pm, will reply soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 What kind of visa are you looking at? If you are living in Thailand with the one year extension, submit copies of your passport as well. It shows that you are both tied to Thailand. My husband got his 10 year multi entry tourist visa a few years ago in less than two days. He had been scheduled for an interview a week later but I emailed the consulate explaining that we weren't living in Bangkok so they scheduled us for the next day. He had his interview and received his visa on the spot. It was very easy actually. BUT, we are married and have been for quite some time, I have had a one year extension for years, he owns his own business, owns his own house and vehicle and has money in the bank. You must show substantial ties to Thailand and it will help if you can show substantial ties for both of you ie if you have a job here get a letter from your employer as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowy Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 What kind of visa are you looking at? If you are living in Thailand with the one year extension, submit copies of your passport as well. It shows that you are both tied to Thailand. My husband got his 10 year multi entry tourist visa a few years ago in less than two days. He had been scheduled for an interview a week later but I emailed the consulate explaining that we weren't living in Bangkok so they scheduled us for the next day. He had his interview and received his visa on the spot. It was very easy actually. BUT, we are married and have been for quite some time, I have had a one year extension for years, he owns his own business, owns his own house and vehicle and has money in the bank. You must show substantial ties to Thailand and it will help if you can show substantial ties for both of you ie if you have a job here get a letter from your employer as well. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> For me, we met in New zealand and we wher fine (away from the inlaw) then we came here and the trouble begun...... its his rules here. Just lucky i love him and we have 2 kids otherwise i would be outa here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhizKid Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 I would like to take my boyfriend to Germany! I hope he loves me just like that I love him! Sweet I wish I have a german girlfriend that would take me to Germany ha, ha. Well I love to travel so yea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasmine Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Hi I'm new here I've lived in the UK with my Thai husband since 2000 before that we lived in Bangkok and Samet. He's always worked here and has a good circle of Thai friends from the restaurant community male and female. He passed his driving test which gives him more independence. He's made friends with other Brits through taking Thai boxing classes taught by an English guy who now stays with my husbands family whenever he goes to Bangkok They go down the pub after the class. The social side hasn't been so much of a problem; because I lived in Thailand for 4 years I understand the need to spend time with people from your own culture on a regular basis. The main problem is the weather he hates the winters and really suffers with the cold! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Hi Jasmine Welcome to the forum, we are also in Ldn since March 03. Did your husband get his citizenship yet? The reason I ask is hubbies ILR is due in a couple of weeks so it is something close to my mind & wonder whether he found the process easy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadish_sweetball Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I've met quite a few guys in Thailand who have gone abroad with their girlfriends to the West, but all of them had broken up afterwards (well, I guess if it worked out I wouldn't know either, since they wouldnt be here in Thailand). Either way, it is probably a good thing generally to go as a vacation a few times before taking the plunge to live abroad, I think. For many Thais going with you to your home country will be their FIRST experience of any country outside of Thailand. This is a lot of change at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marissaflower Posted September 13, 2008 Share Posted September 13, 2008 I've met quite a few guys in Thailand who have gone abroad with their girlfriends to the West, but all of them had broken up afterwards (well, I guess if it worked out I wouldn't know either, since they wouldnt be here in Thailand). Either way, it is probably a good thing generally to go as a vacation a few times before taking the plunge to live abroad, I think. For many Thais going with you to your home country will be their FIRST experience of any country outside of Thailand. This is a lot of change at once. Hello ladies: Anyone have advice for this one. I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. I am back in the US and he is in Thailand but not a Thai citizen(Burmese/Mon). He is on his way to getting Thai citizenship but it will probably take a few more years!! I want to get him a visa to come to the US but am not ready to commit to marriage so I am hesitant about a K-1 finace visa. Does anyone have advice about other ways to get him to the US? Thanks, Marrissa Flower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goinghomesoon Posted September 14, 2008 Share Posted September 14, 2008 We leave for our first Australian holiday next month. My man is really nervous but it helps that he knows another Thai male (Mr RueFang) who has successfully made the move. From other holidays together I know the first things packed in his suitcase will be his sketchbook & pencils and his camera. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RueFang Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Make sure you tell me when you're in town, we'll have dinner/lunch or something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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