gee thanks... aren't there like hundreds of other sexpat boards you could have posted this on? that is obviously not what i was getting at.

for what it's worth though, i have an (ex) friend who is a hopeless sex addicted tourist, and he once made a spreadsheet of girls and their traits from country to country. they aligned pretty closely with yours in thailand. perhaps you two can get together and repulse all of the women around the world in one fell swoop with your combined ratings.

not that women don't compare men too, but we wouldn't post it on the men's board.

Edited December 19, 200520 yr by girlx

Yeah, but at least he's honest.

edit:

Edited December 19, 200520 yr by kat

Yes, honesty is always the best policy. Thanks for inserting a bit of light hearted humor into the thread

I don't feel like I was attacking girlx, just pointing out my opinions on her views of southerners. I have already made it clear, I have no opinion whatsoever on various regional differences as I have only ever lived in one place.

I could mouth the generalizations that Thais use but find those just as offensive as "all farang men are sex tourists" or "backpackers are dirty dreadlocked people with no money" ad nauseum. There was some posting some time back where a farang man disliked the southerners because he felt they were prejudiced against his issaan girlfriend and then another thai poster mentioned that all southerners were coldhearted and vicious etc. We had a Burmese man in here the other day looking for work and two of our staff started talking about how you can't trust the burmese, how they look suspicious with their little beady eyes. I've heard the "isaan people are friendly but its false" the "bangkok people are money oriented" "southerners are all mafia" and I think repeating these kinds of things are just repeating biases and prejudices that cannot help anyone.

There has been lots of discussion about generalizing on this board in other forums with lots of pro and con arguments but I dislike generalizations such as these because they are usually used to pigeonhole people and give an excuse for dislike and prejudice.

but there are certain traditions, mannerisms, styles, and behaviors that are unique to each region, and i am interested in hearing what you have discovered.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think Tyree D made some very salient points

At least he tried to provide an answer to your questions

I dislike generalizations such as these because they are usually used to pigeonhole people and give an excuse for dislike and prejudice.

yeah i see what you mean (and didn't feel like you were attacking me), but it wasn't my intention to make those excuses, instead to just have a look at different experiences with different people in different regions. maybe there is too fine a line for you guys between that and a raucous list of stereotypes, but i didn't see it spiralling out of control, so i don't see any reason not to have examined (and refuted if necessary) the things we have collectively noticed about thai society in an effort to understand them.... a lot of the bad things are true in a lot of cases! a lot of the good things are not true in a lot of cases! and vice versa. but there are patterns that happen over and over again that can be learned from.

i don't think truth is especially relevant in a discussion like this since truth when it's applied to society is totally subjective.

but i think i have said this at least 6 different ways now, so i give up. never mind.

No, I didn't see it spiralling out of control either but there have been far too many threads like that that have; you get your feminazi farang women generalizations, your thai girls are all rip off slags, thai girls are all beautiful angels, farang women are all fat, greedy cows, thai men are all lazy cowards and on and on that I have become very very wary of such topics.

One thing I have learned living in a long-term intimate relationship is that talking everything to death doesn't always solve the problem, sometimes you just have to accept the person the way they are and get on with life. In the long run cultural differences have not really come to play in our relationship, mainly in the beginning, in the learning stage of who each person is.

Wow, really? This is something I would have never thought if you hadn't brought it up. Personally, I am a big believer in talking things out until completion. I always felt it unhealthy to just leave misunderstandings, miscommunication or disagreements unresolved and up in the air. Sometimes though, I must admit, it does get frustrating trying to talk and explain things to my wife. I am not bashing or criticizing SBK but I really would like to know, why do you feel its better to just let things be sometimes? Will you elaborate for me?

I said let the person be who they are. We do discuss things but I find that most people like to hash and rehash over old problems.

My mother taught me a very valuable lesson after I first got married. We had gone home to visit and were staying with my parents. My dad likes to get up in the middle of the night and have a snack, usually he leaves his peanut butter covered knife on the counter. I asked my mom,"Doesn't it drive you crazy that he always leaves his knife on the counter when it would be so easy to put it in the sink?" And mom said, "You know, at first, it did but then I realized there are alot of things your father does for me that I can't do so it really isn't such a big deal to put his peanut butter knife in the sink. After all, it really is such a small thing to do for someone you love".

I learned that you don't sweat the small stuff, accept the person for who they are rather than constantly trying to change them to fit what you want and that it really isn't worth it to argue over every little thing. My husband and I don't bicker. Ever. What is the point in getting upset over little things? We discuss big issues but lets face some reality here, you can't make people change and constant discussion doesn't change a thing.

lets face some reality here, you can't make people change and constant discussion doesn't change a thing.

this part i disagree with because when i have had problems in the past with boyfriends and discussed them thoroughly, the problems ceased to exist. in some cases it was the behavior of the person that changed. in some cases it was my approach to it. but talking does work for me. i am very neurotic though and probably push it to an extreme at times, and this is where i intend to take SBK's advice into consideration.

I said you can't make people change, not that people can't change. That is the mistake most people make, assuming that somehow they can get the other person to change to what they want. People will change when they want to, not when someone else nags them into it.