David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) She has said a couple of times very firmly that she doesn't want to have the baby in Thailand As for the above posts re baby’s automatic right to duel citizenship (after some paperwork of course) ... maybe this is the reason ... try and tease out of her the real reason why. Edited March 30, 2012 by David48 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) We have had conversations in the past and she understands what is and isn't possible for me financially. Nope ... sorry ... all the logical argument about what you can and can not afford goes out the window a lot of the time. You're Farang ... Mother thinks all Farang are rich ... why is daughters husband being so kee-neow (tight ass) about send money to us. We are poor Thai Farmers and he rich Farang. Not every time mind you ... but I'd be a rich man if I had a quid for every variation on that story I've read or heard. Edited March 30, 2012 by David48 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) Anyone? I'm banging away with the relationship and Cultural issues. Can any knowledgeable soul help with the Visa issues ... I'm not a Pom EDIT Just read the posts below ... thanks guys Edited March 30, 2012 by David48 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norrona Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I applied for a fiancee visa after knowing my now wife for 4/5 months and they rejected it and we appealed and got it over turned. The reason for the rejection was the proof of relationship so I went back to Thailand and got more pics, more stamps in passport and a good 6 months later she was in the U.K. lots of waiting and the unknown which strengthened the relationship and made it what it is today as it showed commitment from both sides and if it was going to fail then within those extra 6 months it would have done. If my wife was pregnant within 2 months of me knowing her I would have run a mile, as for the hating it back home in the village well I really do feel sorry for her (NOT) you need to man up and be a bit strong towards her in my opinion as all this wrapping her in cotton wool will only set a rod for your own back later in life. a few things that come to mind are, you are just back from spending 2 months together both on holiday with nothing to do but enjoy yourselves and shag, go for dinner, shag a bit more etc....been there done that myself and yes you get the blues when you come back big time.... slow it down a bit eh....get back out to Thailand and let her know that its going to take about a year for her to finally get here...see how she accepts that? it may be shorter than a year but in a country where goal posts are contantly moved and nothing works 100% if you tell her she'll be here in 3 months she will expect to be here then...you tell her 1 year and its done in 6 months then you've both had a result! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano2274 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) I said it before and will say it again, these girls know what they can and cannot do to get to the UK. To the OP, your other post about what happens in a divorce leads me to believe you are not so sure. She wants the baby in the UK, you know she will have no cover from the NHS if on a visitors visa. I would tell her to have the child in Thailand. As another said, she is unhappy cause she is at home, well she lived there for god knows how many years before, so come on. Tell her to relax, have a holiday in the UK, but make sure she goes back, you return with her if you can, then have the baby here, register it, get the stuff ready for settlement and marriage, marry and apply, and hopefully take her and the baby with you to the UK. Think and do not rush, I rushed when my first wife was pregnant, I thought I would do the gentlemanly thing, it did not work out at all, but she was not Thai but German, and she took me to the cleaners. Edited March 30, 2012 by beano2274 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 My wife doesn't expect me to support her extended family, I already told her thats her responsibilty and she understands this. Not withstanding what tribalfusion001 has posted above there are many stories when the man and Thai lady have both agreed to not send money to Thailand only for this to go TiTs up the moment she arrives on foreign soil. There was an excellent post here by a guy with that exact experience ... but a quick search could not reveal it. If I can nail it later I'll post it as well. Maybe someone knows of a similar story and add to the thoughts here? I don't want to be the sole voice here ... visaLuckily enough she can work from day 1 (if the settlement visa is granted), got 2 job offers for her, plus there are lots of Thai restuarants in the area if she doesnt like the one's that are interested. Her family are nice people, I've met them twice so far, but I don't want to be paying for them, it's cost enough to come back to Thailand, get married and apply for the visa's. She has told them that I've got very little money, enough money to pay for the visa and stay in Thailand whilst it's processed, I've got debts to pay for too. I'm going off subject, enough... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano2274 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 as others have said, you are the farang you are rich, you get a pension you get money even when you do not have to work, your parents might own a lovely house that will one day be yours. If she is working, who is looking after the baby? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randymarsh Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) david, norrona and beano... very helpful posts, thanks. Edited March 30, 2012 by randymarsh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 OP (Original Poster) ... there is a weath of information here here about similiar situations you are currently faced with. No-one knows you nor your girl here and everytime relationship is different. Don't become weighed down the by the negativity HOWEVER do read and learn for others mistakes. Here is a post worth reading for when it all goes TiTs up. ... it's titled "i-am-screwed-and-i-know-it" As I find more, I'll post them here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Luckily enough she can work from day 1 (if the settlement visa is granted), got 2 job offers for her, plus there are lots of Thai restuarants in the area if she doesnt like the one's that are interested. Her family are nice people, I've met them twice so far, but I don't want to be paying for them, it's cost enough to come back to Thailand, get married and apply for the visa's. She has told them that I've got very little money, enough money to pay for the visa and stay in Thailand whilst it's processed, I've got debts to pay for too. I'm going off subject, enough... tribalfusion001 Well done and I hope things work out for you ... As I said above, not everyone ends up in the <deleted> if ... choose your girl carefully, spend some time with her AND her Family, try and understand the Thai Culture learn a bit of the language over time manage the Family's expectation of what they are to expect form you (my gf's mother thought that I was going to biuld the family a new house ... why, because the only other Farang in the village did the same for that family ... all farang are rich) food can be a big issue ... try getting your Thai gf to eat ONLY Farang food for 1 day and judge the reaction! Remember she is coming to live in your country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) Some related posts to read ... there-asking-me-for-money http://www.thaivisa....g-me-for-money/ british-passport-for-my-sons-born-in-thailand http://www.thaivisa....-thailand-help/ not-the-father http://www.thaivisa....not-the-father/ how-to-gain-parental-rights-as-a-father-when-not-married http://www.thaivisa....en-not-married/ family-oriented-question http://www.thaivisa....ented-question/ This is just one Forum here where I got these threads from. It really is a mine of information ... just need to know where to look. I've a got a few spare moments and I'll dig a little deeper for you. All the above come from ... http://www.thaivisa....er__all__st__60 EDIT I've just seen your post marriage-whats-at-stake-if-it-goes-wrong-uk-man on the related Forum, so you have a good grasp of where to search for information. Edited March 30, 2012 by David48 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I think my wife is weird, well she is actually! Her favourite food in the UK was sausage and mash, with lots of gravy! She would cook her own Thai food for her or me or my parents or all of us, I think she tried most of the foods, apart from beef and lamb. She is from Isaan and I can cannot understand any of it,apart from waa! I can speak a little bit of Thai and can understand a lot of the words, but haven't got as far sentence structure yet. You are right David48, you must choose your girl carefully, I've met some horrors in my visits to Thailand, thankfully my wife is a bit naive, she is a nice girl, a bit of a loner too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Might ring a bell ? thanks to eek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Also read this one ... serious-question-about-relationship-with-thai-gf-serious-replies-please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randymarsh Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 OP (Original Poster) ... there is a weath of information here here about similiar situations you are currently faced with. No-one knows you nor your girl here and everytime relationship is different. Don't become weighed down the by the negativity HOWEVER do read and learn for others mistakes. Here is a post worth reading for when it all goes TiTs up. http://www.thaivisa....-and-i-know-it/ ... it's titled "i-am-screwed-and-i-know-it" As I find more, I'll post them here for you. This one is scary but would be good to understand from a UK law perspective for quite a few possible outcomes: 1. Marry in Thailand, have baby in England. Goes wrong a few years later and she wants to separate / divorce. 2. Have baby in Thailand, never get married. What is the law on my requirement to provide for the child if I'm in the UK and they are both in Thailand 3. Have baby in England on fiance visa but never get married. She stays in England as makes some claim on not being separated from baby. Where would this leave me legally? 4. Same as number 3 but on a visitor visa where she refuses to leave? Think they're the main ones. As many questions as I'm asking, I do trust her but the number of stories I've read on here means I can't help but want to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 OP (Original Poster) ... there is a weath of information here here about similiar situations you are currently faced with. No-one knows you nor your girl here and everytime relationship is different. Don't become weighed down the by the negativity HOWEVER do read and learn for others mistakes. Here is a post worth reading for when it all goes TiTs up. http://www.thaivisa....-and-i-know-it/ ... it's titled "i-am-screwed-and-i-know-it" As I find more, I'll post them here for you. This one is scary but would be good to understand from a UK law perspective for quite a few possible outcomes: 1. Marry in Thailand, have baby in England. Goes wrong a few years later and she wants to separate / divorce. 2. Have baby in Thailand, never get married. What is the law on my requirement to provide for the child if I'm in the UK and they are both in Thailand 3. Have baby in England on fiance visa but never get married. She stays in England as makes some claim on not being separated from baby. Where would this leave me legally? 4. Same as number 3 but on a visitor visa where she refuses to leave? Think they're the main ones. As many questions as I'm asking, I do trust her but the number of stories I've read on here means I can't help but want to ask. You should not be thinking about 3 and 4, illegal immigration is something our government is trying to stamp out. Having the baby in Thailand is probably the only option. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randymarsh Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 3 and 4 aren't part of my plans, believe me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 3 and 4 aren't part of my plans, believe me. I would say, when you can get some time off work, go back to Thailand and visit her and her family in their village, stay in the family home and work out what the family are like. Get married in Thailand and apply for visa's after that, we were refused 2 general visit visa's last year, we had only known each other for 3 months, when we applied again after 6 months with the extra finances that were needed, the visa was granted. I was living/working in Thailand when we met, so it was 6 months of living with each other, it's now 13 months of living together in the Thailand and the UK and Thailand again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randymarsh Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 Spent a couple of weeks with the family already but yes, think it's good advice. Guess I can say this... I contacted an agency I found on here to ask for some initial advice and having reviewed it, they have said they wouldn't be able to support me with a visitor visa at this time so I guess that says it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 Spent a couple of weeks with the family already but yes, think it's good advice. Guess I can say this... I contacted an agency I found on here to ask for some initial advice and having reviewed it, they have said they wouldn't be able to support me with a visitor visa at this time so I guess that says it all. 6 months does seem to be the required length of time to gain a visa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisasPlus Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 Spent a couple of weeks with the family already but yes, think it's good advice. Guess I can say this... I contacted an agency I found on here to ask for some initial advice and having reviewed it, they have said they wouldn't be able to support me with a visitor visa at this time so I guess that says it all. What I actually said, randymarsh, was that there are a lot of unanswered questions concerning your girlfriend's background ( does she work ? How is she supported ? Etc, etc ). Plus, there is your own financial situation to consider. Plus, the pregnancy. Taking all of these things together, I advised that you might have a problem getting a visa at this time. My advice included slowing down, letting your girlfriend have the baby in Thailand, and then thinking about a visit visa for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randymarsh Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 VisasPlus, Don't think there was a problem with how I described your response but happy for you to have expanded on it and I will take the advice to slow things down. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billmont Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 I was in the UK and wanted my Thai girlfriend to visit me in the UK. While her English, spoken, was reasonable she would have had great difficulty in completing the forms etc. I arranged for an agent and while I cannot remember which one they did an excellent job and trained her on questions and answers and filled in the forms etc. You must have to means to support her and also a home either owned or rented but the rental agreement must be longer that the expiry of the visa.We applied for 2 months but we had been together for a year but I had to return to the UK for business reasons at short notice. We were advised to have copies of all emails exchanged between us etc. The main thing is do not lie about anything just tell the truth even if the girl works in a bar. My girlfriend got the two months that she asked for and was made to sign a letter that she would return within the two months although the visa stated 6 months. I checked wiht the UK immigration as was told to go by the dates in the visa so she stayed for 6 months. We got married in Thailand and applied for a visa and no problem so I do not think they check about the two months letter or if they did they did not mention it. The UK NHS are now getting more strict about visitors getting free treatment so maybe you will have to pay for your girlfriends visit to hospitals to monitor her pregnancy. All this took place about 8 years ago so things now maybe more strict but a visitor visa cannot be refused without a valid reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billmont Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 I was in the UK and wanted my Thai girlfriend to visit me in the UK. While her English, spoken, was reasonable she would have had great difficulty in completing the forms etc. I arranged for an agent and while I cannot remember which one they did an excellent job and trained her on questions and answers and filled in the forms etc. You must have to means to support her and also a home either owned or rented but the rental agreement must be longer that the expiry of the visa.We applied for 2 months but we had been together for a year but I had to return to the UK for business reasons at short notice. We were advised to have copies of all emails exchanged between us etc. The main thing is do not lie about anything just tell the truth even if the girl works in a bar. My girlfriend got the two months that she asked for and was made to sign a letter that she would return within the two months although the visa stated 6 months. I checked wiht the UK immigration as was told to go by the dates in the visa so she stayed for 6 months. We got married in Thailand and applied for a visa and no problem so I do not think they check about the two months letter or if they did they did not mention it. The UK NHS are now getting more strict about visitors getting free treatment so maybe you will have to pay for your girlfriends visit to hospitals to monitor her pregnancy. All this took place about 8 years ago so things now maybe more strict but a visitor visa cannot be refused without a valid reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachit85 Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Completely agreed with David48...I am not generalizing but this is very common in Thailand: 1) Girls trying to get pregnant with farang. They know it is not easy to escape for farang with child and emotional stuff. Just google it or read on below link, u will find 100000 of farangs trapped like this. http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader2154.htm 2) Only reason girls are with farang are for money. Again it is not applicable to all but this is true for majority. So please make sure you are not trapped in this pregnancy, even if it ur's trap is a trap. Rest if u r really determined for having a visa for her then I have a friend of mine who did same for her GF. I can get you his contact number and his Thai gf as well and ur gf can speak in Thai with that girl on filling of application forms and all. I need to find out the number first if u really want PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOBBYTIN Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Would it be fair to assume a visa wouldn't be approved if her due date were to fall within the 6 months / 4 weeks? So basically is it impossible for a thai girl to come here and have a baby if you mention it in the application? i think you should find out who the father is first,you have been together 2 months and she is pregnant. mmm.sorry,sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Would it be fair to assume a visa wouldn't be approved if her due date were to fall within the 6 months / 4 weeks? So basically is it impossible for a thai girl to come here and have a baby if you mention it in the application? i think you should find out who the father is first,you have been together 2 months and she is pregnant. mmm.sorry,sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I think I would be quite pissed off if some girl told me after 2 months together she was pregnant, a visa would not be the first thing that I would be thinking off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randymarsh Posted April 1, 2012 Author Share Posted April 1, 2012 It wasn't unplanned to be honest and I've posted before that I know it's mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 It wasn't unplanned to be honest and I've posted before that I know it's mine. Well, if wanted a child with her, that's ok, but it does seem very quick to decide these kind of things. I've told my wife to wait at least 3 or 4 years before I will even consider kids. Good luck to you, but I think you going to struggle with visa's with her pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liveforever Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Quote "the only reason girls are with farang is for money" This maybe the case for some relationships where the first meeting was in the bar, but its an insult for people who have genuine relationships from outside that aspect, sure there are massive differences in both cultures and its hard for thai families to understand the money side of things, but in normal genuine relationships the world over, money is not the deciding factor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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