Dating Muslima

[saanya]

I have been maried to a Thai Muslim for seventeen years, of which two years living in Pattaya where my wife was born and raised. Yes it is true you normally will be required to convert prior to marraige, but for me personally no big deal. yes you are provided with a Muslim name by the Imam when you convert. They older members of the family use my Muslim name, whlist the younger ones call me grandfather or uncle. Did not require having a "snip" . Any Muslim/Jew will not consume pork or pork products. In my case, out of respect, I also do not eat pork. I have found my wife's extended family (whilst poor) are honest, hard working, courteous and respectful. When they have needed monetary assistance they have always repaid me. About every month or two I'll go to Friday prayers - again out of respect. Talking with other westerners living in Pattaya the feedback I have got is Thai Mustim people are good people to deal with. However as with any Thai you do not want to dis-respect them.

Thai Muslims are a lt more laid back than from Arabic countries. Some of my extended family who have lived and worked in Saudi Arabia are more "ridgid" but no problems/attitude towards me. As we know any relationship to be a positive experience requires effort from both parties. PM me if you want any further input.

007, -this is the thread (above) you might be able to walk with best. What part of Thailand are they from?

Young women sometimes get enamoured beyond the bounds of what their family will accept almost as a built-in test of who and what they are, regardless of religious background.

Even Buddhist families have a rainbow of attitudes and beliefs. Our own family has it's Reds and Yellows, idiots and geniuses, and regardless of the religion, in Thailand or any other foreign land it's going to be your personal integrity and depth that will carry you. Learn to read, write, speak and think in Thai. Having some minor spoken vocabulary isn't enough. And if you are really with it, -you should brush up on your Islam. The Koran isn't a very long book, -and Wikipedia has quite a bit of history of all the lines and sects. When you know more than she does, and can convey it in Thai, no one can assail your relationship.

Know as many have already said here, children of yours will become absorbed into the family and you will have to exert a strong will and guidance if you are to remain in a lead role. This would mean being the kind of person your wife would stay loyal to beyond her curious years, when she got her head about her and thinks only long term.

[ROMANOBA]

yes, I trIED, and in short: YOU GET THE WORST OF BOTH WORLDS!!!

[tragickingdom]

It is a bad idea to marry one. THe reason is not the girl, the reason is you, yourself. Obviously you either do not love the girl that much or you are pre occupied with what others say or think about it. You need to become a Muslim too, but who cares when you love her?

Anyone asking questions about his or her relationship in forms like this should refrain from dating...... who cares about religion?

[radiola]

no sex before marriage? U crazy? Dont you want to taste the goods?

that is the first turn off. Many thai girls told me that before. She must have read your face, and she thinks he is falling for it. They can feel your confidence dude.

I have read somewhere that muslim girls in malysia have sex the most on the world, the most times per week.

I understand why, constant supressions, hiding the body etc.....

Keep away I say. I think she is playing you dude.... Many girls tried to play that game no sex before marriage with me, but soon they gave up...

[WarpSpeed]

Yeah and the no sex part doesn't necessarily apply either..

If you get to the possible point of marriage then a clip in your nether regions is necessary for you if you're not already and she and her family is devout, that might effect your thinking on that aspect..

... and you've dated how many Muslim woman?

Just for WarpSpeed ... yes I dated a lady from Iran for over a year.

She considered herself Persian before Iranian.

First off what business is it of yours? Secondly what is supposed to be your point as you've not made any just spouted some senselessness..

Well WarpSpeed ... the OP came to the Forum asking advice and /or opinions.

Usually we reply from our experiences.

You offered advice on the sexual practises of unmarried Muslim woman.

Then offer some Marriage Counselling advice.

So my question was simple in asking what direct experience you had in that area?

So, without the reply containing derogatory statements about me, what exactly was your experience in this subject again?

Apologies in advance to the OP for this slight diversion.

No need to respond to your personal inquiry to justify my advice and perspective. If there is something inaccurate about my post stop playing stoopid games and make your point..But you can't can you? My post is accurate and you're just seeking a confrontation for some silly reason..

[Xonax]

Since 2008 I have been happily married to a Thai Muslim woman and living with her in Bangkok. She (and her family) is, like most Thai Muslims, not very strickt about her religion, and equally practice and respects Bhuddism as a true Thai. The only difference I feel in this marriage is, that she eats no pork, while I am still allowed to eat as much pork as I like. Kissing after me eating port is also not a problem. We did not have any sex on the first date, which I actually appreciated, but certainly catched up on the second date, which was a short holiday in a nice holiday resort. She drink´s no or very little alcohol, which I only find to be an advantage. She has never in her life worn a scarf and she knows, that if she should ever consider to change her mind and do so, I would immediately leave her.

I am an Atheist (born Christian) and would definitely not have married her, if she and her family had been very strict, and required that I would have to convert to Islam. Her father would for sure have been more happy, if I had converted before the marriage, but today he clearly see that it doesn´t really matter. If she was a Thai Muslim from the south of Thailand, things might have been very different.

If the OP would like to ask me any specific questions about marrying af Thai Muslim girl / woman, please feel free to PM me.

Edited March 31, 2012 by Xonax

[GentlemanJim]

I am not religious, but each to their own. To be religious is to make a commitment based on a belief and faith system. To convert to a religion simply because you love someone makes a mockery of their whole belief system. Think carefully about what you are all saying when you say, 'well I will just convert religion'. The undertones are incredibly serious and you make a mockery of her, her family and everyone involved every time you go to the mosque to pray. What's going on? sudden;y their is a God and Mohammed was right because you love a girl? Your entire life is spent living a lie.

[StreetCowboy]

...

...

First off what business is it of yours? Secondly what is supposed to be your point as you've not made any just spouted some senselessness..

Well WarpSpeed ... the OP came to the Forum asking advice and /or opinions.

Usually we reply from our experiences.

You offered advice on the sexual practises of unmarried Muslim woman.

Then offer some Marriage Counselling advice.

So my question was simple in asking what direct experience you had in that area?

So, without the reply containing derogatory statements about me, what exactly was your experience in this subject again?

Apologies in advance to the OP for this slight diversion.

No need to respond to your personal inquiry to justify my advice and perspective. If there is something inaccurate about my post stop playing stoopid games and make your point..But you can't can you? My post is accurate and you're just seeking a confrontation for some silly reason..

Gentlemen,

Perhaps you would like to move your discussion to this thread, which seems more appropriate

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/544568-bare-knuckle-muay-khaed-chuak-event-coming-to-bangkok/

SC

[GentlemanJim]

Since 2008 I have been happily married to a Thai Muslim woman and living with her in Bangkok. She (and her family) is, like most Thai Muslims, not very strickt about her religion, and equally practice and respects Bhuddism as a true Thai. The only difference I feel in this marriage is, that she eats no pork, while I am still allowed to eat as much pork as I like. Kissing after me eating port is also not a problem. We did not have any sex on the first date, which I actually appreciated, but certainly catched up on the second date, which was a short holiday in a nice holiday resort. She drink´s no or very little alcohol, which I only find to be an advantage. She has never in her life worn a scarf and she knows, that if she should ever consider to change her mind and do so, I would immediately leave her.

I am an Atheist (born Christian) and would definitely not have married her, if she and her family had been very strict, and required that I would have to convert to Islam. Her father would for sure have been more happy, if I had converted before the marriage, but today he clearly see that it doesn´t really matter. If she was a Thai Muslim from the south of Thailand, things might have been very different.

If the OP would like to ask me any specific questions about marrying af Thai Muslim girl / woman, please feel free to PM me.

So you would immediately divorce your wife if she wore a scarf.......nice!

The family cannot be Muslim if they also practice/follow Buddhism, they are having you on, it breeches the most fundamental principles of Islam. Yes it is very different with Muslims in the South.

[geriatrickid]

I am not religious, but each to their own. To be religious is to make a commitment based on a belief and faith system. To convert to a religion simply because you love someone makes a mockery of their whole belief system. Think carefully about what you are all saying when you say, 'well I will just convert religion'. The undertones are incredibly serious and you make a mockery of her, her family and everyone involved every time you go to the mosque to pray. What's going on? sudden;y their is a God and Mohammed was right because you love a girl? Your entire life is spent living a lie.

is it really any different than the men who go through the Buddhist routine for their wives/gfs?

I have declined to have any religious activity with my companion and my wishes are respected. My position is just that I view all this business of praying before idols and leaving offerings to not be for me. I was shocked when I was berated for not having a Christmas tree, whereas the precious one put one up in her apartment. I asked her if she even understood the significance and the answer was no. MMkay. Won't eat beef either. Buddhist, muslim, all Thais look the same naked in bed anyway.

[WarpSpeed]

...

...

First off what business is it of yours? Secondly what is supposed to be your point as you've not made any just spouted some senselessness..

Well WarpSpeed ... the OP came to the Forum asking advice and /or opinions.

Usually we reply from our experiences.

You offered advice on the sexual practises of unmarried Muslim woman.

Then offer some Marriage Counselling advice.

So my question was simple in asking what direct experience you had in that area?

So, without the reply containing derogatory statements about me, what exactly was your experience in this subject again?

Apologies in advance to the OP for this slight diversion.

No need to respond to your personal inquiry to justify my advice and perspective. If there is something inaccurate about my post stop playing stoopid games and make your point..But you can't can you? My post is accurate and you're just seeking a confrontation for some silly reason..

Gentlemen,

Perhaps you would like to move your discussion to this thread, which seems more appropriate

http://www.thaivisa....ing-to-bangkok/

SC

There's nothing inappropriate about my posts they're relative to this thread, Davids on the other hand are another context altogether.. For some strange reason he's yet to divulge he's focused on my original post which was accurate in every sense and brief and to the point..

Edited March 31, 2012 by WarpSpeed

[GentlemanJim]

is it really any different than the men who go through the Buddhist routine for their wives/gfs?

No. Simply don't do it, if you don't believe it.

[how241]

main question is: Does she live her religion, i.e. take it seriously?

This is the "Big" one. Also how seriously do her parent live the religion. Both will give you some insights. Life is always a gamble. Go for it or at least give it a go for a whlie and see what happens.

[gark]

Since 2008 I have been happily married to a Thai Muslim woman and living with her in Bangkok. She (and her family) is, like most Thai Muslims, not very strickt about her religion, and equally practice and respects Bhuddism as a true Thai. The only difference I feel in this marriage is, that she eats no pork, while I am still allowed to eat as much pork as I like. Kissing after me eating port is also not a problem. We did not have any sex on the first date, which I actually appreciated, but certainly catched up on the second date, which was a short holiday in a nice holiday resort. She drink´s no or very little alcohol, which I only find to be an advantage. She has never in her life worn a scarf and she knows, that if she should ever consider to change her mind and do so, I would immediately leave her.

I am an Atheist (born Christian) and would definitely not have married her, if she and her family had been very strict, and required that I would have to convert to Islam. Her father would for sure have been more happy, if I had converted before the marriage, but today he clearly see that it doesn´t really matter. If she was a Thai Muslim from the south of Thailand, things might have been very different.

If the OP would like to ask me any specific questions about marrying af Thai Muslim girl / woman, please feel free to PM me.

So you would immediately divorce your wife if she wore a scarf.......nice!

The family cannot be Muslim if they also practice/follow Buddhism, they are having you on, it breeches the most fundamental principles of Islam. Yes it is very different with Muslims in the South.

They are not Muslim in the strict sense of the word. Islam is very rigid, the things they do clearly disqualify them as Muslims

You are lucky

[flap48]

Getting the SNIP is no big deal as it is painless unless you get an errection during the first week before you get your stitches removed. It does however make your penis more sensitive during sex and i personally have enjoyed sex more since having the snip than i did before. Others may dissagree, but that is my experience for what it's worth.

[TechnikaIII]

With so many fish in the sea, only a fool would choose to eat the poisonous one.

[F1fanatic]

A bit off topic I know, and apologise, but back in the UK I worked with a young, Moslem guy.

He appeared totally Westernised (he was born in the UK). He didn't pray (during working hours), had no problems with having Western girlfriends and was great fun. I liked him v much (platonically) and got on with him v well.

He didn't eat pork, observed Ramadan and always admitted that at the end of the day, he would marry a partner chosen by his parents...

If its like this for a wealthy, Westernised male Moslem - I can't begin to imagine the pressure on a female!

[ALFREDO]

and does he consider the lower propensity of contracting HIV as an advantage?

I'd never heard of that until I did some Googling . . . a potential 60% reduction in the risks of contacting HIV by being circumcised???

Of course. Less skin is less vulnerable, less chance of getting hurt.

But also less feeling for yourself and as I just read (on one of the LINKS guys provided above me) a more, higher chance for the woman to get HIV, as the man works harder, stronger and as it is said longer!

So, I am not a Muslim, I like to stay same I was born!

Edited March 31, 2012 by ALFREDO

[metisdead]

Overly derogatory posts regarding muslims have removed. Do not use this topic as an opportunity to bash a religion:

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

[Maseratimartin]

Some guys really ask for problems....Muslim...you could not pick an easier religion?

99.9% she would even never consider something with a non Muslim if she is so attached to her religion.

I think she is just like 90% of the other girls....no money ...no hunny!!!

...and don't be so stupid to marry before Sex....Test and check before you sign!

Nothing worse then having a partner and bad sex.

Good luck!

[flap48]

To gentleman Jim, when it comes to circumcision do not generalise or quote from books if you have not experienced adult circumcision yourself. With men who have their forskin, during sex the forskin will usualy roll back outwards or inwards. If it rolls back outwards there is no problem after sex because you simply wash it and unroll it back down. However, if it rolls back inwards and you have had a particularly heavy sexual session the forskin may swell and not unroll and simply get worse over a period of days, when eventualy you will need to go to a doctor to have it unrolled and cleaned back to normal. A painfull exercise!! Once this happens the chances of it happenening again multiply greatly and it will be recommended by the doctor to have a circumcision. After the removal of forskin it is much cleaner by not having it and my experience has been that it enhances penile feeling and makes for better sex.

[simple1]

If you get serious - and to even date a Muslim girl, you either have to be fooling yourself or - serious, then you will be expected to become a Muslim yourself.

Have you been circumcised?

That will be one of the prerequisites.

I can't imagine her family allowing her to marry a non Muslim.

If you're prepared to follow her families demands (they won't be requests), then go for it.

Just have your eyes open before you jump in the deep end.

There must be easier paths to follow in life.

Rubbish, I am happily married to a Thai Muslim woman and I am not circumcised. I would be able to post, as would many others, about friends being married to non Muslims whose relationship became a nightmare. If the OP is so concerned about marrying a Muslim woman meet with her family to gain an understanding on whether they are conservative Muslims or not. I have friends who married conservative Christian women & I can assure you they not happy or divorced due to a miss-match in life style

[harleyclarkey]

Don't.......Seriously!

That Jim is very, very general, and may I say inaccurate, advice. My personal experience and that of my friends does not mirror that of your friends at all.

The better advice given to the OP here is that from the post about the depth of her, and especially her families, religious beliefs. This is what will count.

I have been in my relationship for 4 years and my wonderful GF, and her whole family, has no issues at all with my religon and beliefs. They are Muslims, and the Dad goes to the Mosque daily...though not 5 times! They have no issue at all with me beong a Christian. This is as it should be. She is from Mauritius and they are far more open and relaxed about the whole thing. They distance themselves from any fanatical attacks, and welcome those outside their religon.

It all depends on the strenght of her , and families, beliefs. You Jim have seemingly known quite bad experiences from your friends....I, and my friends, have had the exact opposite.

To the OP...open your eyes and check out exactly how her family feel about the relationship.

[ALFREDO]

My first experience with Thailand was with a young Muslim girl who I knew through the Internet, she met me in the family car and took me to her home.

Note I was daughter's friend, not boyfriend, then something strange happened. Daughter and her best friend wanted to go on holiday to a island beach resort, but her parents did not approve, eventually they were allowed to go on the condition that I went with them, even though this meant sharing the chalet. Her brother could have gone but everyone preferred me.

And than on the island in the chalet?

[rick99]

At first I thought, dating or marrying a muslim; no big deal. You want to be with somebody you love. But then I started thinking and asking questions, which is what I hope the OP will do. My post does not concern the religion at all.....I think that giving up control is the real issue to be addressed. It appears that you are willing to follow this girl in many ways. No sex, no kissing, converting, maybe an operation....all no big deal when you love somebody. I think the question to ponder is at what point will you not want to follow this girl (or her family or beliefs), and what will happen at that point; will she follow you? If she does not, then how will you feel? Will there be resentment when she does not follow, and perhaps refuses other things in the future, or increases her demands for you to change even more? If there is the slightest chance of "resentment "when she does not follow you then i believe at that point there will be major trouble. The old "look what I have given up for you....why will you not give up something for me" problem. It seems that you are willing to just "go along" for love. But is there a point when you will not want to go along any more? I think several others have asked you to look forward to the chance of children in the marriage. How will you feel when your daughter has to wear tons of hot clothes at the beach, cannot eat all sorts of great food (like bacon, and chops, and ribs, etc). How will you feel when she has to refuse dating and has to lay out a bunch of rules before someone can date or marry her? Will you ask your children to just "go along" just live a lifestyle that really is outdated and makes no sense in many ways to you. What will you say to your children? And what will you do when they want to go in another direction (perhaps in the direction you were raised). It appears that you do have a mind of your own because some posters are saying straight out to dump her, end it, run away; and you are not listening to them. So listen to that voice inside that had you post this question in the first place. Because one day in the future your independent mind may get tired of following a direction that just does not make sense to your logic, your upbringing, your common sense. Then you will ask why you did not listen to the advice on this forum. I think a few have said it. You have been warned. Start thinking my friend. I am not going to bore you with my stories or own personal experience, but let me say that I have read lots of advice on these forums.....and they saved me from myself many times, and led me in the right direction of thinking many times. Good luck to you. The best news is this is thailand....a great new exciting girlfriend can be found in 24 hours. There are differences in every relationship. that is the beauty of love. Please do not construe my comments as being negative towards this particular religion. My arguments can be applied to any truly major difference in ways of thinking; be they religious or political. Perhaps just ask yourself how you would feel if you had to convert from capitalist to communist, and ask your children to do the same. Or ask yourself "how much can I just go along and follow the other person before I will be unhappy"...that will give you your answer.

[GentlemanJim]

To gentleman Jim, when it comes to circumcision do not generalise or quote from books if you have not experienced adult circumcision yourself. With men who have their forskin, during sex the forskin will usualy roll back outwards or inwards. If it rolls back outwards there is no problem after sex because you simply wash it and unroll it back down. However, if it rolls back inwards and you have had a particularly heavy sexual session the forskin may swell and not unroll and simply get worse over a period of days, when eventualy you will need to go to a doctor to have it unrolled and cleaned back to normal. A painfull exercise!! Once this happens the chances of it happenening again multiply greatly and it will be recommended by the doctor to have a circumcision. After the removal of forskin it is much cleaner by not having it and my experience has been that it enhances penile feeling and makes for better sex.

You are the one that is applying a very rare condition to a general situation. I am not discussing what you wish to do as an adult, that is your choice, I am stating that to cut the foreskin off a child who has absolutely no say in the matter is child abuse. I would love to see a poll on Thai visa to see how many men have had to go to the Doctor to clean under their foreskin after sex. Whilst that may have been an issue for you, I imagine 99 men in 100 would reply in the negative. Jeez!

[charliebru]

WHY???????????? In a whole big world full of women; why would you want to get involved with a muslim women?

[Naam]

WHY????????????

do silly people exist who ask silly questions?

[Naam]

With men who have their forskin, during sex the forskin will usualy roll back outwards or inwards. If it rolls back outwards there is no problem after sex because you simply wash it and unroll it back down. However, if it rolls back inwards...

a remedy for the rare conditions that a foreskin "rolls" inwards or outwards is to check and remove any attached wheels.

[ALFREDO]

007

I had the experience to date a young, pretty, big smiling, Muslim girl, working in a very short skirt uniform, in a Patong shopping center at the men underwear shop.

So, I sure was not the only one who tried his luck. I was allowed to go to diinner with her during working hours, always with a friend of hers. I payed.

We went to a concert, Karaoke and at her birthday I gave her a Baht Gold, that time "only" 6.000.- B.

We went, a second Falang and three of her GF (Buddhist) to Pee Pee Island two nights. No, the girls slept in one Bungalow!

She was from Satun city in the South, 450 km from Phuket and I followed her with a Motorbike on 5 days off.

Her mother was a friendly lady, same her sisters and female-cousins. Her father, did not even look me and the brothers and male-cousins looked unfriendly.

I could drive back with her to Phuket with my chopper and as it was late wanted to sleep in Krabi, in two rooms.

No way she ment and I had to drive in the night.

A try of a kiss, was always responded with, -Muslim cannot!- I gave up and counted my losses.

At that time she new a Muslim teacher far away some where. Later she married him, two children and when I saw her, some years ago,

she complained that her teacher husband wanted now a younger second wife. That is life.

Some more what I know about Muslim-Falang relations.

Two relationships marriages in Nakhon Sri Thammarat and Surat Thani (Forum contact) work well. Converted to Muslims but did not circumcise.

As did not a Falang in Phuket who had a small business-restaurant on the beach, with his Thai-Muslim wife in Kamala.

He said, the Islam cleric asked him,if he was circumcised and he he said, yes and lied, but was not asked to show the truth.

Had a daughter and drank a lot of beer the whole day. No problem He died at early age.

The son of my friend married a Turkish born Muslim, well educated-University, living in Europe, she was in no interest of her religion her parents allowed that, but that did also not help.

She got a Baby and shortly later divorced took a better offer from another man.

So make your own conclusion from what you read. Good luck.

Edited March 31, 2012 by ALFREDO