The Deluxe Suicide Tourism-Thailand Package. When you really want to get away from it all.

Includes:

1 way flight.

A deluxe room on a 5th high floor. (*upgrade to higher floor additional fee)

A voucher for a 3-some in a Walking Street short time room. Free Viagra included. (*Lesbian shows and addition fee.)

Last meal. (*not including alcoholic beverages)

Draft of suicide note. (*translations 400 Bt per page)

Barricades to keep pedestrians away from the landing zone.

Plastic sheeting.

Cleanup crew. (*stain remover included)

Funeral with minimum 3 mourners. (*For our Muslim clients, wailers/screamers a small additional fee.)

Cremation/Burial.

(*For those having second thoughts, we can provide "pushers" for an additional fee.)

I was feeling rather down once when I was in the Middle East.

I rang the local helpline and told them I was feeling suicidal.

They sounded very pleased and asked what size vest I wore..

The Deluxe Suicide Tourism-Thailand Package. When you really want to get away from it all.

Includes:

1 way flight.

A deluxe room on a 5th high floor. (*upgrade to higher floor additional fee)

A voucher for a 3-some in a Walking Street short time room. Free Viagra included. (*Lesbian shows and addition fee.)

Last meal. (*not including alcoholic beverages)

Draft of suicide note. (*translations 400 Bt per page)

Barricades to keep pedestrians away from the landing zone.

Plastic sheeting.

Cleanup crew. (*stain remover included)

Funeral with minimum 3 mourners. (*For our Muslim clients, wailers/screamers a small additional fee.)

Cremation/Burial.

(*For those having second thoughts, we can provide "pushers" for an additional fee.)

Jed McKenna would be proud. Well written.