You start making up excuses for the failings of people around you.

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You have 20 bottles of sauce in the fridge and none is ketchup

Drive a motorbike with sidecar.

Leave restaurants with a toothpick in your mouth.

Pick boogers in public.

You actually listen to what they say on the moo bahn speakers.

You actually listen to what they say on the moo bahn speakers.

Yah mean these dam_n things that start up at 6 AM and run for 2 hours?

Propaganda at its worst.

--food stall workers without plastic bag hats during rain seem like crazy people

-- your sink has 11 dirty spoons and 1 fork

-- when security guards, staff, etc say hello in passing, you respond with a shortened "'kub" rather than a full "sawatee kub"

-- you are fully aware that on any given BTS ride you could be surrounded by international criminals avoiding capture, pimps, prostitutes, japanese families, terrorists, and pedophiles... and you are ok with that.

When you have a drink in a bar, the ladyboy sits with you, and you are happy to give him her a bit of a cuddle.

When you start avoiding bars that have too many foreigners drinking in them.

When you start making up excuses to get out of having sex (again) with your wife/gf.

You converse with other farangs in pigeon Engrish.

No do. Engrish always same, same.

When you start to think you think too much.

When you develop a second personality which is used when hanging out with thai people

I can now smile sweetly and think "I want to strangle this useless piece of crap I am smiling at".

I feel uneasy when I reverse my car and there is no incessant whistling by the carpark attendant.

you ask your Farang wife after dinner how much you have to pay her later for short time.

Check your teeth in the mirror of your bike before you get off it.

You say, Oi when you stub your toe instead of ouch.

You don't notice you are sitting next to a sewer while eating.

When you forget the past, ignore the future and pay little attention to the present

You would initiate nuclear armageddon rather than lose face.

Board the skytrain, bus or lift before the passengers disembark.

You start "hotting" up your shitbox 125 motorbike, and wear copy Mirror ray ban Aviator sunnies with no helmet.

When your best farang friend gives you back the 5000 baht he borrowed, and you count the notes in front of him.

When you don't notice the 3 dozen stray dogs barking allnite in the empty lot next door.

When you make an appointment to meet someone 2pm the next day, but you never show up.

Never truer word spoken..

After getting quite upset from this despicable behaviour, both from locals and foreigners, recently i started to get less and less upset about it.. To the point that i did it myself 1 or 2 times.

You invent new English words to impress all your new Thai friends! Acculturation!!!!....Really!

You never use your indicators but wave your magic hand out of the window.

You wonder why there is white paper in the toilet?

You squat rather than sit on a chair as squatting is more comfortable.

You eat something from all the dishes on the table even if you have no idea what you are eating.

You refuse to acknowledge other foreigners even if they are polite.

Acculturation. It's from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (among several) "cultural modification of an individual, group, or people by adapting to or borrowing traits from another culture; also : a merging of cultures as a result of prolonged contact " Look it up, bud.

My god, I did look it up as suggested and found that the word was first used around 1880!

By the way, I also looked up Bud in the urban dictionary, definitions below:

"Bud"

~1. A womans clitoris, the small protrusion. 'to suck on the "bud" gives a woman great delight'

~2. Your friend, 'hey buddy'

~3. short for Budweiser, American beer. "Gimme a bud"

1. Suck the bud as she parts her lips

2. Hi bud

3. "Gimme a bottle o' bud"

I do hope that your use of the word bud means that you think of me as definition 2.

When you point at something using your lips.

ZigZag down the walkway playing with your phone.

Comb thru your friends hair picking out the critters.

When you point at something using your lips.

When you point at something using your lips.

And we have a winner. Now I just have to clean up the mess I made on the screen and keyboard.

Drop your girlfriend off at the BJ Bar for her shift.