Carry your girlfriend's handbag for her at the shopping mall.

Think nothing about riding her pink bicycle to the shops.

Wear a pastic bag as a make-shift rain- hat.

Stick one-baht coins in your ears.

Let one long whisker grow two inches long from a facial mole.

You press the up button to call the elevator up to the floor you're on.

You're of the believe that the current government is there for your well-being.

sniffkiss a random baby

You dial a number and the first thing you say is "theenai kap?"

You don't look when you pull out.

Squint and try not to look too much when you arc weld.

You help build a skyscraper in your flip flops.

You squat down and prepare the evening meal on the floor.

You do a V sign when somebody takes your picture

You think walking in a zig-zag line towards your destination not only saves time and effort but also wards of any evil spirits that may be following you.

You drive on the edge of the road in the opposite direction of oncoming traffic.

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You refer to all caucasian people as farang.

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You exclaim 'alloy' while chewing a mouthful of insects.

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Toilet paper on the dining table/floor no longer seems odd.

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When you don't notice the 3 dozen stray dogs barking allnite in the empty lot next door.

Ain't that the truth. It took a while, but I finally got used to the dozen or so roosters crowing all night in the empty wooded area behind my hotel.

You no longer notice pungent, fermented fish dishes.

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You no longer expect to find tissue in a public toilet.

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You know all the 'jai' phrases.

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you go to your local store in your pyjamas.

You can sing the lyrics of every Thai POP song, and many others, in unison with the Thais around you.

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You enjoy spicy food, coming and going.

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You start eating MaMa noodles dry straight from the packet when you run out of other snacks.

hell we did this in canada 20 years ago

You set up a unlicensed bar at the back of the beach behind the sunbeds, working on a woven mat, selling beer to tourists out of an esky, you have several small dogs with you, and many like minded acculturated Farrang's hang around you. In the quieter moments, you all play improvised Boules, with whatever sticks and rocks are laying around.

You think there might be some baht to earn as a translator for the jet ski mafia.

When you expect the kid marrying your daughter to fork over the cash.

You curse as well in Thai as you do in your own language and often with greater effect.

You only wear shoes when going out someplace nice.

You came to Thailand the kinda guy that wasn't very confident around women, now you can almost always pull any girl you want and don't care if you can't.

You can't imagine living without your house staff.

You hate or love Taksin with a passion.

You Wai respectfully at the shrine or Wat, and occasionally give offerings and pray there despite not being Buddhist, because it just feels right for were you are at.

You look around at the other passengers and giggle with your girl every time you get on the BTS and play "Guess who's getting off at Nana"

You know the holy trinity of Thai soaps and can spot them within 3 seconds of watching any Thai soap (The good girl, the evil Bytch, and the dumb guy they both like)

You Drive in Bangkok like it was nothing.

You stop spending all day reading and posting on expat forums...

Honk your horn when passing a shrine / Temple.

When you only install 3 of the 5 necessary bolts to hold the thing together.