villagefarang Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I was a little younger than you when I moved here. I led a great single life until I met my wife when I was 43 and she was 23. By then I had my own life in Thailand and spoke the language. I wasn’t dependent on her for my understanding of Thailand and was actually in a position to introduce her to some aspects of Thailand that she might otherwise have missed. My advice is, master the language and the country first and only settle down after you have gained more experience. The old guys in the twilight of their lives don’t have the time or luxury of being prudent. They often grab the first thing than lifts its skirt. Some get lucky and others pay a price for their rashness and inexperience. Don’t be in too much of a hurry and enjoy the ride. You came to Thailand at a good age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ableguy Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 But I know a few people who have great relationships and would like to hear from you. How did you meet you Thai gf/wife, what makes her special to you? Any tips? Yep, if you've found someone special, or even not special but special to you - DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER MENTIONING HER HERE IN THIS BED OF VIPERS WE KNOW AS THAI VISA. Please... nest of vipers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericg Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 I dated a ton of Thai girls and never found one of them to malicious, gold digging crazy, stupid, lazy. citizenship hunting etc (things I have heard said about Thai women). What I did find in the Thai woman I dated? Easy going, slow to anger, not stressful, clean, intelligent, fun, funny, sweet, hard working, considerate, polite, affectionate, faithful etc. I found them, like most woman around the world to have feelings, looking for a man that was faithful and able to care for them and a family. Thai girls laugh, cry, think about the future, have worries, have dreams - just like all women. I found some special traits in my wife - she is a best friend, lover, a wife, a girl friend and not to abuse an old cliche, but a lady on the street, a chef in the kitchen and........! She is also a super mom, housekeeper, and businesswoman. She is extremely accommodating and will to meet me way over the halfway mark when it comes to western food, culture thinking etc Eric, let me advise you to date around a bit. If you see a hint of headache and trouble in the early stages of the relationship - run. If you see traits you could never accept - run. These things get worse and will irritate you more in a long tern relationship or marriage. When you find the one that clicks with you, you will know it without any doubts or fears. I would stay away from relationships with girls that are birthed on money for services, unless she is your nurse in the hospital you are at when you fall off a motorbike! Stay clear of the bar girls or the ones that ask for money. Great post. I'm glad you found a special lady! Thanks for the info! So far havn't been on a "date" yet but I'm learning the language a lot more now and its getting alot easier to mingle with the thai's which is alot of fun! I own business in canada so I don't work in THailnd wich limits my social ineraction but every month its getting alot better/easier to socalize with thai's, only get better/easier from here -Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gweiloman Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Like share values that can rise or fall, relationships can succeed or fail. Don't get disillusioned like some here. Take it all in stride. Culturally speaking, Thai women are quite different from western women but deep down, they are also looking for the same things - love, care, kindness, understanding, patience, tolerance AND security, both emotional and financial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericg Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 I was a little younger than you when I moved here. I led a great single life until I met my wife when I was 43 and she was 23. By then I had my own life in Thailand and spoke the language. I wasn’t dependent on her for my understanding of Thailand and was actually in a position to introduce her to some aspects of Thailand that she might otherwise have missed. My advice is, master the language and the country first and only settle down after you have gained more experience. The old guys in the twilight of their lives don’t have the time or luxury of being prudent. They often grab the first thing than lifts its skirt. Some get lucky and others pay a price for their rashness and inexperience. Don’t be in too much of a hurry and enjoy the ride. You came to Thailand at a good age. Thanks for sharing, and yes I'm definatly not in a rush and will take my time! I wasn't sure what to expect when I left Canada and came to Thailand. My friend recommended I come to Korat for a true Thai experience. I love it here and plan to make my life in Thailand. I've travelled around and while some other city's I've found to be alot of fun Korat looks like a good home base, only problem being english here is almost none existent, but like you said just have to learn the language and thai culture! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartempion Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 10+ years happily together, just been very very careful during progresses made, seen way too many farangs scammed by their Thai counterparts! Always had a plan B,C and D, I do believe you always need backup plans, wherever you live on this planet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Koratpat Posted April 13, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2012 Sorry to go on, but let me say that just because a Thai lady runs away from a man does not make it her fault. it could be both of them that are at fault. Or it could be that he drove her out of the house. I have seen 100's and 100's and 100"s of farangs treat their wives like village idiots. They make faces at them, scream, cuss and bark at them when there is a language hiccup. They belittle them, their family and their culture and spend hours complaining about them to any farang that will listen - I will not be a sounding board for negativity!!! They treat their wife like a toddler or retarded child. They whore around and get drunk and sometimes get violent. They run their house like an army barracks or a prison cell block. It is their way or the highway and when it is done slightly different, they throw a baby like temper tantrum. Then the wife leaves him and he goes around to all the farang pubs, chat rooms, forums etc and calls her a gold digging, no good lying b***h. He then puts all the blame on her and makes sure we all know he bought her a house, a car, raised her kids, and gave her 5 gazillion baht. Those guys can never look at themselves and if they read this post, they will not know that it describes them. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koratpat Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 (edited) limits my social ineraction but every month its getting alot better/easier to socalize with thai's, only get better/easier from here -Eric Act goofy, weird, nerdy and funny. Smile a lot, be easy going and lose the Western stiff tough guy act. Laugh at yourself and do not be offended or act surprised if they laugh at you! The nerd gets the girl in Thailand! Yipeeee!!!! I am over qualified!!!! Edited April 13, 2012 by Koratpat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 1 flame deleetd. keep it civil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koratpat Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 1 flame deleetd. keep it civil. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 limits my social ineraction but every month its getting alot better/easier to socalize with thai's, only get better/easier from here -Eric Act goofy, weird, nerdy and funny. Smile a lot, be easy going and lose the Western stiff tough guy act. Laugh at yourself and do not be offended or act surprised if they laugh at you! The nerd gets the girl in Thailand! Yipeeee!!!! I am over qualified!!!! My wife was attracted to my bad-boy image. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koratpat Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 (edited) My wife was attracted to my bad-boy image. Congrats! I bet if I dressed and acted like Steven Quincy Urkel, I could get more girls per mile in Thailand that if I dressed and acted like Arnold or the Rock! Edited April 13, 2012 by Koratpat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wamberal Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 My wife and I have been happily married for 13 years now, not without some relatively minor problems along the ay, but on the whole a good experience. My advice would be similar to others on this thread. Learn as much as you can about Thai culture, traditions, and beliefs, and also the lingo, if you can. Make some Thai friends, of both sexes, get involved in life. Do not try to replicate your previous life in Thailand, but do not repudiate your own culture and traditions, either. I was introduced to my wife by some Thai friends. She has a good education and is a person of good character and reputation. She is honest, trustworthy, and reliable. Whatever you do, remember that most of us "fall in love" for a period of a couple of years at most, and what counts is the long term attractiveness of each to the other, and that is not based upon what you see in the mirror, or what happens in your marital bed. These things are not unimportant, but other more lasting things are what makes you and your spouse happy in the long run. Do not go looking actively for a wife, or even for a girlfriend. Take your time, live a normal life, do your learning, make your contacts, and things will surely happen for you. The people around you will make sure of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pmarlin Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Just remember the odds are against you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koratpat Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Just remember the odds are against you. Why? Why not be positive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bendix Posted April 13, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2012 Just remember the odds are against you. I was going to make a reasoned response to this and then I looked at your signature and decided that was good advice. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerryk Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Women are women are women. Apply the same values to your relationship as you would anywhere in the world and you'll be fine. And a good cigar is a smoke. WC Fields I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Do not go looking actively for a wife, or even for a girlfriend. Indeed, if it's going to happen, it will. I first went to Thailand for a holiday, not to look for a wife. I met my wife in one of those shops selling tailor made shirts to tourists. She had taught herself some English from a book so she could work out front dealing with the customers and make some money on the side as an unofficial personal tour guide. I don't like the driven cattle feeling of organised group tours, so booked her. After a day showing me Wat Po and the Grand Palace and another in Ayutthaya we seemed to be hitting it off so I plucked up the courage to ask her out to dinner. Twelve years later we are still together and as happy as ever. Maybe because neither of us were looking for a long term relationship when we met; it simply happened. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallGuyJohninBKK Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 RE "Positive Long Term Thai Girlfriend/Wife Experience's," would one-night stands where the lady stays past breakfast time the next morning qualify for inclusion??? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 In your home country, did you apply for help as to how to get on with your woman on a forum? Excellent question HD, a lot more people should run that by themselves.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 (edited) limits my social ineraction but every month its getting alot better/easier to socalize with thai's, only get better/easier from here -Eric Act goofy, weird, nerdy and funny. Smile a lot, be easy going and lose the Western stiff tough guy act. Laugh at yourself and do not be offended or act surprised if they laugh at you! The nerd gets the girl in Thailand! Yipeeee!!!! I am over qualified!!!! I would advise exactly the opposite. Thai girls like the nerdy look, if and only if the guy looks like a certain person, otherwise YUCK! The girls I meet in my village would not date anyone who seemed retarded (funny faces, weird, goofy) Although they generally enjoy Mr. Bean on the TV, they wouldn't want him in their bed. Try watching the KangKeng (กางเกง) pop video Ngow ( เงา = shadow), see what happens to the nerd. This reflects, more accurately, current Thai female attitudes to geeks. Edited April 13, 2012 by TommoPhysicist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
likewise Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 (edited) Ok buddy, have just read your topic, didn't mind reading the replies since I'll be answering my own story. Been here for 17 years had lots of fun in bars, karaokes and the lot but NEVER married a "working" girl. Eventually 5 years ago I met a girl with who I married, normal Southern girl, with no ties to the nightlife, good background and family and "touching wood" so far all is going great. Simple advice I got when I came here : would you marry a "working" girl back home? I wouldn't, so why do it here? once you get to know Thai culture an stuff you'll soon find out that there are many non working girls, non " waitresses, tourist industry and the lot" to get to know who are actually sincere. At your young age it should be ok, I arrived here at 24, now 41, all good mate :-) Edited April 13, 2012 by likewise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Eric, Just enjoy being with her mate. Think of today and tomorrow will come. HD, believe me, I'm not the spelling police, or have a great understanding of the English language, but could you put a comma after "her" in the above? When I first read it I thought you meant enjoy being with her friend! Bit weird advice after what you have already posted; not too good for one on one realationships in my experience............. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Be happy, easy going and smile a lot. That will be sure to attract girls. Do the opposite and they will avoid you no matter how good looking and young you might be. Now if you want a bar girl....forget the above and show her money. All true ...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 This thread seems to have moved away from positive experiences to giving advice. Op seems quite happy with that so I'll chip in. Befor you take any step in a relationship always question whether you would think it normal if another guy did this in your own country. Most people here make the mistake of jumping in too fast. You really want to avoid the women that have obviously set their sights on bagging a Farang (any Farang) simply because of the money that it would bring. If a woman asks you to buy gifts for her or help her out with a debt, rent etc within a few days of seeing her, refuse outright. If a woman is declaring her love for you and talking about getting married within a few days of meeting her, be suspicious. She's probably in love with your money. You're young, you have time. Use that time wisely and learn. You will probably make a few mistakes, hopefully not really big ones, and they will help you to spot the gold=diggers. There are a lot of good women out there, take your time and you will probably meet one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Let me add one item to this discussion. Girls in Thailand do care about money, some more than others but they all do. It is a must in a long term relationship. I am not saying that you have to be rich or give them any sizable amount but you need to be self supportive and not be cheap. Not 100% required but your own car and a nice apartment helps in keeping up the image. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willwildy Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Here is a positive experience. I met my wife in a bar. She had been working about 6 months. I knew it when we met but she was just so cool. I didn't care. As many do I offered her a pension so she could stay at home and not need to fuc_k for a living. She took it and might have fuc_ked a bit for fun but all in all much less than I did. So six years later we have two lovely children. I am sure one is mine and the other gets my beer. We have a house up country that cost me 400,000 baht and is on 1 rai of land. I have fun everyday. My breakfast is always ready when I wake up and life is grand. We play at the local waterfall and I have stopped being a playboy just cause I enjoy being with her so much. If she should stray a bit I don't mind much. Hell if I was fuc_king a girl twice my age I would stray occasionally too. I do know when I was sick for a while she was by my bedside 24/7 till I got better. So this is thailand and I wouldn't change it for the world. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evadgib Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 My wife & I have never had an arguement in 12 years. For the first 3 I thought i'd gone deaf:) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Let me add one item to this discussion. Girls in Thailand do care about money, some more than others but they all do. It is a must in a long term relationship. I am not saying that you have to be rich or give them any sizable amount but you need to be self supportive and not be cheap. Not 100% required but your own car and a nice apartment helps in keeping up the image. Let me add one item to this discussion. Girls in Thailand do care about money, some more than others but they all do. It is a must in a long term relationship. I am not saying that you have to be rich or give them any sizable amount but you need to be self supportive and not be cheap. Not 100% required but your own car and a nice apartment helps in keeping up the image. My Thai family have never ask for 1 baht. in fact they will not let me pay for many things. I met my wife by accident in a factory making computers. It took three years for us to get to gether, but its the best thing i have ever done. married at the age of 56 after a life of being a bachelor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meand Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 This is what I love about these threads. A guy asks a question, immediately gets lambasted to "do a search", then the thread goes for 3, or 5, or 20 pages. Sometimes, the "do a search" guy will even say something like "I can't be bothered, but you should really just forget her, check these 4 threads for reference......" lol Admit it, you love to answer the question. Just admit it, you know you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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