What Am I Doing Wrong?

[ayayay]

no, its not only the money, hopefully, it is a combination. Its money AND love

Lets face it, she would not have been attracted to you if you earned 10 000thb/month (that a lot of thai guys earn), and as soon as you were going somewhere with her, you would only use the public buss for transportation.

Stop living in a dream world

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Perhaps a little off topic, but I would appreciate some feedback on an issue I am struggling with:

What are people's experiences as to how they have navigated there dating scene and come out on the other side successfully.

Here I define success as finding a compatible female Thai partner. After a 2 month sojourn in Thailand, I realize just jumping bed with someone that you have just met is not the best way to establish a longterm relationship. But the other alternative, which would be to try to get to know someone over the internet over a time period of several months before coming to Thailand, also seems fraught with potential pitfalls, especially the fact that you can'r really know someone until you meet them in person and see what kind of chemistry there is. So, you potentially may invest a great deal of time and money on one woman, only to come to Thailand and find it bottom out quickly. Another option, doing minimal internet contact before arriving then starting from square one once you are here, seems to limit how much you can get to know someone.

I would greatly like to hear from others what worked for them, from those who had the same goal as I did.

Thanks for your patience in reading this.

First of all, you can't really "get to know" someone over the Internet. You may get a bit of a head start on it, but IMO you don't actually know someone - in the sense of being able to judge compatiblity for marriage, especially from another culture - until you've lived together for at least six months to a year, and observed her reactions to major changes in circumstances.

This is of course assuming the much more risky type of marriage where you want to return with her back to your home country, and would like the marriage to last for many years, maybe even until you die.

Everyone's target profile is of course different, and will depend on your Thai language skills. Personally, I'd advise making this your top priority, as I've found that if you're looking for a poor upcountry girl, the ones without any English at all are the best candidates. Of course your relationship will at first be completely transactional, but if you work at it real love will come if you are both sincere.

The best context for meeting girls upcountry is at weddings, ideally where you have some sort of friend-of-a-friend referral/recommendation as a trustworthy fellow from someone known to the local community.

Not as easy a path I know compared to what most do, but my recommendation for improving the odds. YMMV.

[TommoPhysicist]

Perhaps a little off topic, but I would appreciate some feedback on an issue I am struggling with:

What are people's experiences as to how they have navigated there dating scene and come out on the other side successfully.

Here I define success as finding a compatible female Thai partner. After a 2 month sojourn in Thailand, I realize just jumping bed with someone that you have just met is not the best way to establish a longterm relationship. But the other alternative, which would be to try to get to know someone over the internet over a time period of several months before coming to Thailand, also seems fraught with potential pitfalls, especially the fact that you can'r really know someone until you meet them in person and see what kind of chemistry there is. So, you potentially may invest a great deal of time and money on one woman, only to come to Thailand and find it bottom out quickly. Another option, doing minimal internet contact before arriving then starting from square one once you are here, seems to limit how much you can get to know someone.

I would greatly like to hear from others what worked for them, from those who had the same goal as I did.

Thanks for your patience in reading this.

Internet dating in Thailand is a minefield, so many scammers and pros that you can never trust anything they say.

In person, at least you will know what they really look like.

Try to date women that actually own land, houses, cars and have real employment. Dating young dirt poor bar girls that have nothing apart from their bodies, while fun, may not be the best way forward for those seeking a long term relationship.

Edited April 29, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Kananga]

Perhaps a little off topic, but I would appreciate some feedback on an issue I am struggling with:

What are people's experiences as to how they have navigated there dating scene and come out on the other side successfully.

Here I define success as finding a compatible female Thai partner. After a 2 month sojourn in Thailand, I realize just jumping bed with someone that you have just met is not the best way to establish a longterm relationship. But the other alternative, which would be to try to get to know someone over the internet over a time period of several months before coming to Thailand, also seems fraught with potential pitfalls, especially the fact that you can'r really know someone until you meet them in person and see what kind of chemistry there is. So, you potentially may invest a great deal of time and money on one woman, only to come to Thailand and find it bottom out quickly. Another option, doing minimal internet contact before arriving then starting from square one once you are here, seems to limit how much you can get to know someone.

I would greatly like to hear from others what worked for them, from those who had the same goal as I did.

Thanks for your patience in reading this.

Internet dating in Thailand is a minefield, so many scammers and pros that you can never trust anything they say.

In person, at least you will know what they really look like.

Try to date women that actually own land, houses, cars and have real employment. Dating young dirt poor bar girls that have nothing apart from their bodies, while fun, may not be the best way forward for those seeking a long term relationship.

Actually, try to date women you can communicate and have something in common with and dont focus on wealth. We wouldnt want these women to think we are just after their land, houses, cars or farms etc.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Internet dating in Thailand is a minefield, so many scammers and pros that you can never trust anything they say. In person, at least you will know what they really look like.

Try to date women that actually own land, houses, cars and have real employment. Dating young dirt poor bar girls that have nothing apart from their bodies, while fun, may not be the best way forward for those seeking a long term relationship.

It's great, I agree with so much of what you say, but for me a well-educated woman with her own income and salary is likely to give me just as many headaches as I'd get from your average farang woman, which I wouldn't touch with a barge pole. And the fact that they wouldn't have anything to do with me either at this stage of my life might have something to do with it 8-)

Horses for courses, to each his own, great that we're not all chasing the same set of girls isn't it!