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Why Is It So Difficult To Find A Good Friend In Thailand


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Posted

I thought things would change when I got a job here. Any job I had back home, there would be at least the one guy or two you could relate to. I think there is something really "off" about the Thailand-farang ethos (which i'm fully aware that I myself am a part of), and not in a good or at all fun way. Think about it, why do you think TV is so used and so popular, there aren't that many farangs here -- it is socializing/filling a void via internet. Let's face it, there is one worthwhile commodity that keeps most of us here.

Our families?

Som tam?

Subsidised RON95?

Got to go - the Bull fighting is coming back on...

SC

No don't be silly...its the occasional free beer and T-shirts....which will of course be nicked back by the nearest mod...

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Posted

I thought things would change when I got a job here. Any job I had back home, there would be at least the one guy or two you could relate to. I think there is something really "off" about the Thailand-farang ethos (which i'm fully aware that I myself am a part of), and not in a good or at all fun way. Think about it, why do you think TV is so used and so popular, there aren't that many farangs here -- it is socializing/filling a void via internet. Let's face it, there is one worthwhile commodity that keeps most of us here.

Our families?

Som tam?

Subsidised RON95?

Got to go - the Bull fighting is coming back on...

SC

No don't be silly...its the occasional free beer and T-shirts....which will of course be nicked back by the nearest mod...

I bought Brighton Rock on DVD today. I suppose one of the reasons I find it difficult to find friends here is that I spend my time on the internet talking to the likes of you, and also there's so much great

MONAGHAN SCORES AGAIN "That's put Warrington in complete control"

rugby on TV these days.

SC

Posted

OP, l agree with you totally. Of course there are daft views from those l would expect daft views from above, but forget about those. I have met and HELPED folk here and got shafted, don't know why BUT that's life.

DON'T expect anything different from farang land here cos many here are escaping stuff (ME) laugh.png .

Crack on mate and perhaps you will find a good chum, l did. smile.png

  • Like 1
Posted

This thread is getting very long!

Missed most of it.

Back to my entry yesterday in support of Bendix, the super market bit and farangs not greeting each other.

Ever since I have had this image in my head of two black guys in Tesco. Now either could be a black American, black European, Black African, Black Australian and so on.

Then along I come, seeing or assuming that neither is Thai:

Now hang on here, my mother in law's mother adopted an African American/Thai baby born from an RR during the Vietnam War. He was brought up as the elder brother of my wife. He sure is black and Thai!

Now back to me in Tesco seeing these two black guys,; should I go up and hi5 them with WO Bro,how you doing? Say hello, which I would not to all the Thai shoppers around, or just do what I would do and do and say nothing ?

I'm not stalking you, but this is he second thread in a couple of hours that you have taken something to a ridiculous extreme that nobody has said or means. You are either a complete potato brain or you just want to be noticed.

Posted

This thread is getting very long!

Missed most of it.

Back to my entry yesterday in support of Bendix, the super market bit and farangs not greeting each other.

Ever since I have had this image in my head of two black guys in Tesco. Now either could be a black American, black European, Black African, Black Australian and so on.

Then along I come, seeing or assuming that neither is Thai:

Now hang on here, my mother in law's mother adopted an African American/Thai baby born from an RR during the Vietnam War. He was brought up as the elder brother of my wife. He sure is black and Thai!

Now back to me in Tesco seeing these two black guys,; should I go up and hi5 them with WO Bro,how you doing? Say hello, which I would not to all the Thai shoppers around, or just do what I would do and do and say nothing ?

I'm not stalking you, but this is he second thread in a couple of hours that you have taken something to a ridiculous extreme that nobody has said or means. You are either a complete potato brain or you just want to be noticed.

Maybe to you a ridiculous extreme, but just contributing to a discussion.

I just had this image of 2 black guys , who were not together, but were, according to the thread meant to acknowledge each other, because they were black, just like 2 white guys are meant to be buddies because they are white, but probably of different nationalities, the absurdism amused me,but obviously not you.

Much more facile things have been remarked here on this thread; which started about seeking friendship,not from the native Thais, but from other aliens.

It stinks of racism to me.

Posted

I thought things would change when I got a job here. Any job I had back home, there would be at least the one guy or two you could relate to. I think there is something really "off" about the Thailand-farang ethos (which i'm fully aware that I myself am a part of), and not in a good or at all fun way. Think about it, why do you think TV is so used and so popular, there aren't that many farangs here -- it is socializing/filling a void via internet. Let's face it, there is one worthwhile commodity that keeps most of us here.

And how long were you here before you noticed this?

Please refer to my first post on this thread, it explains what you are wondering.

The Thailand farangs appear to fall into 4 different categories:

The business owner who will acknowledge that you exist provided you keep spending the money in his establishment, those that want to sell you something or provide some sort of service for money, the whack’s, misfits and losers hanging on by a shoestring in order to stay in Thailand that are better off avoided and the odious, extremely rude types that will deliberately let a door slam in your face when entering or leaving a shopping mall just because they feel you are intruding if sharing a same area or space.

Yes, I agree, there is definitely something weird about the farang philosophy in Thailand, but I can’t explain this phenomenon.

I haven’t visited other South East Asian countries for sometime and if there are any readers from Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos or the Philippines, I wonder if they could give us a hint of the social attitudes of farangs in those parts of the world as a comparison?

Posted

This thread is getting very long!

Missed most of it.

Back to my entry yesterday in support of Bendix, the super market bit and farangs not greeting each other.

Ever since I have had this image in my head of two black guys in Tesco. Now either could be a black American, black European, Black African, Black Australian and so on.

Then along I come, seeing or assuming that neither is Thai:

Now hang on here, my mother in law's mother adopted an African American/Thai baby born from an RR during the Vietnam War. He was brought up as the elder brother of my wife. He sure is black and Thai!

Now back to me in Tesco seeing these two black guys,; should I go up and hi5 them with WO Bro,how you doing? Say hello, which I would not to all the Thai shoppers around, or just do what I would do and do and say nothing ?

I'm not stalking you, but this is he second thread in a couple of hours that you have taken something to a ridiculous extreme that nobody has said or means. You are either a complete potato brain or you just want to be noticed.

Maybe to you a ridiculous extreme, but just contributing to a discussion.

I just had this image of 2 black guys , who were not together, but were, according to the thread meant to acknowledge each other, because they were black, just like 2 white guys are meant to be buddies because they are white, but probably of different nationalities, the absurdism amused me,but obviously not you.

Much more facile things have been remarked here on this thread; which started about seeking friendship,not from the native Thais, but from other aliens.

It stinks of racism to me.

what a daft statement. i have nothing in common with my thai neighbors. they have a preconcieved idea about me, notably that i am a multi millionaire and need to pay for everything. i have more in common with other farang mostly because of the language spoken but also their european and world views. thai people seem to be unaware of anything outside thailand and they are taught this from a very young age.

am i being a racist because i have nothing in common with thais ? I dont think so.

Racism is generally understood as either belief that different racial groups are characterized by intrinsic characteristics or abilities and that some such groups are therefore naturally superior to others [1][2] or as practices that discriminate against members of particular racial groups,[1] for example by perpetuating unequal access to resources between groups.

if we are to believe the above, then I can say with confidence that thais feel they are superior to anyone outside their country and that is definitely racist.

be careful out there. wai.gif

Posted

I thought things would change when I got a job here. Any job I had back home, there would be at least the one guy or two you could relate to. I think there is something really "off" about the Thailand-farang ethos (which i'm fully aware that I myself am a part of), and not in a good or at all fun way. Think about it, why do you think TV is so used and so popular, there aren't that many farangs here -- it is socializing/filling a void via internet. Let's face it, there is one worthwhile commodity that keeps most of us here.

And how long were you here before you noticed this?

Please refer to my first post on this thread, it explains what you are wondering.

The Thailand farangs appear to fall into 4 different categories:

The business owner who will acknowledge that you exist provided you keep spending the money in his establishment, those that want to sell you something or provide some sort of service for money, the whack’s, misfits and losers hanging on by a shoestring in order to stay in Thailand that are better off avoided and the odious, extremely rude types that will deliberately let a door slam in your face when entering or leaving a shopping mall just because they feel you are intruding if sharing a same area or space.

Yes, I agree, there is definitely something weird about the farang philosophy in Thailand, but I can’t explain this phenomenon.

I haven’t visited other South East Asian countries for sometime and if there are any readers from Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos or the Philippines, I wonder if they could give us a hint of the social attitudes of farangs in those parts of the world as a comparison?

You guys are all so much more sensitive than me. I don't notice all these rude, obnoxious or unpleasant types.

Maybe I need to take more interest in my fellows.

Anyway, I've never really been one for making friends with people at random; most of my friends are former colleagues or class-mates, or friends of friends, and I don't run a check-rule over them first:

- honest

- handsome

- not on the run from the law

- colour, weight, odour and taste

I take them as they are, and if we get on well, we're friends, and conversely not.

SC

  • Like 2
Posted

This thread is getting very long!

Missed most of it.

Back to my entry yesterday in support of Bendix, the super market bit and farangs not greeting each other.

Ever since I have had this image in my head of two black guys in Tesco. Now either could be a black American, black European, Black African, Black Australian and so on.

Then along I come, seeing or assuming that neither is Thai:

Now hang on here, my mother in law's mother adopted an African American/Thai baby born from an RR during the Vietnam War. He was brought up as the elder brother of my wife. He sure is black and Thai!

Now back to me in Tesco seeing these two black guys,; should I go up and hi5 them with WO Bro,how you doing? Say hello, which I would not to all the Thai shoppers around, or just do what I would do and do and say nothing ?

I'm not stalking you, but this is he second thread in a couple of hours that you have taken something to a ridiculous extreme that nobody has said or means. You are either a complete potato brain or you just want to be noticed.

Maybe to you a ridiculous extreme, but just contributing to a discussion.

I just had this image of 2 black guys , who were not together, but were, according to the thread meant to acknowledge each other, because they were black, just like 2 white guys are meant to be buddies because they are white, but probably of different nationalities, the absurdism amused me,but obviously not you.

Much more facile things have been remarked here on this thread; which started about seeking friendship,not from the native Thais, but from other aliens.

It stinks of racism to me.

what a daft statement. i have nothing in common with my thai neighbors. they have a preconcieved idea about me, notably that i am a multi millionaire and need to pay for everything. i have more in common with other farang mostly because of the language spoken but also their european and world views. thai people seem to be unaware of anything outside thailand and they are taught this from a very young age.

am i being a racist because i have nothing in common with thais ? I dont think so.

Racism is generally understood as either belief that different racial groups are characterized by intrinsic characteristics or abilities and that some such groups are therefore naturally superior to others [1][2] or as practices that discriminate against members of particular racial groups,[1] for example by perpetuating unequal access to resources between groups.

if we are to believe the above, then I can say with confidence that thais feel they are superior to anyone outside their country and that is definitely racist.

be careful out there. wai.gif

Football finished.

Well I think you just replied to yourself as to why you cannot find friendship in Thailand.

Those of us who live here with Thai families do not exhibit the prejudices you do.

I am the first to admit that Thai are racist,every thing they are taught leads them to this. I expect better of a farang, if that is what you are.

What the hell are you doing living here?

Why if you despise the Thai are you living in their country?

Thai in farang lands get plenty of stick too.

I am not on any side with regard to who is right or wrong when judging by skin , language or facial features.

If you want friends that are akin to you, then you are in the wrong country.

I am an alien here, a second class citizen , because I am a farang, but ironically one who the Thai aspire to copy!

Strange land, not a place for a naive farang of sensitivity to choose as home!

The colonial days are over, get to grips with it!

  • Like 1
Posted

...

Football finished.

Well I think you just replied to yourself as to why you cannot find friendship in Thailand.

Those of us who live here with Thai families do not exhibit the prejudices you do.

I am the first to admit that Thai are racist,every thing they are taught leads them to this. I expect better of a farang, if that is what you are.

What the hell are you doing living here?

Why if you despise the Thai are you living in their country?

Thai in farang lands get plenty of stick too.

I am not on any side with regard to who is right or wrong when judging by skin , language or facial features.

If you want friends that are akin to you, then you are in the wrong country.

I am an alien here, a second class citizen , because I am a farang, but ironically one who the Thai aspire to copy!

Strange land, not a place for a naive farang of sensitivity to choose as home!

The colonial days are over, get to grips with it!

Why do you get so excited about strangers on the internet?

SC

Posted

...

Football finished.

Well I think you just replied to yourself as to why you cannot find friendship in Thailand.

Those of us who live here with Thai families do not exhibit the prejudices you do.

I am the first to admit that Thai are racist,every thing they are taught leads them to this. I expect better of a farang, if that is what you are.

What the hell are you doing living here?

Why if you despise the Thai are you living in their country?

Thai in farang lands get plenty of stick too.

I am not on any side with regard to who is right or wrong when judging by skin , language or facial features.

If you want friends that are akin to you, then you are in the wrong country.

I am an alien here, a second class citizen , because I am a farang, but ironically one who the Thai aspire to copy!

Strange land, not a place for a naive farang of sensitivity to choose as home!

The colonial days are over, get to grips with it!

Why do you get so excited about strangers on the internet?

SC

It is close to my heart and I like a good debate!

Posted

...

Football finished.

Well I think you just replied to yourself as to why you cannot find friendship in Thailand.

Those of us who live here with Thai families do not exhibit the prejudices you do.

I am the first to admit that Thai are racist,every thing they are taught leads them to this. I expect better of a farang, if that is what you are.

What the hell are you doing living here?

Why if you despise the Thai are you living in their country?

Thai in farang lands get plenty of stick too.

I am not on any side with regard to who is right or wrong when judging by skin , language or facial features.

If you want friends that are akin to you, then you are in the wrong country.

I am an alien here, a second class citizen , because I am a farang, but ironically one who the Thai aspire to copy!

Strange land, not a place for a naive farang of sensitivity to choose as home!

The colonial days are over, get to grips with it!

Why do you get so excited about strangers on the internet?

SC

It is close to my heart and I like a good debate!

You must be a master at that!

  • Like 1
Posted
I have friends here and there....well if it makes you happy...why not?

I'd be careful there.

He sounds kinda needy....

And abit whiney..

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

Posted
I have friends here and there....well if it makes you happy...why not?

I'd be careful there.

He sounds kinda needy....

And abit whiney..

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

If I imagined people hated me, who did not, I would be paranoid.

If I have imaginary friends, what is the correct term, eh Barney?

SC

Posted
I have friends here and there....well if it makes you happy...why not?

I'd be careful there.

He sounds kinda needy....

And abit whiney..

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

If I imagined people hated me, who did not, I would be paranoid.

If I have imaginary friends, what is the correct term, eh Barney?

SC

Apologies for coming across as too relaxed on the subject....

Posted

I find it odd that quite a few people don't think they can have (or that it takes too much effort) to find a good Thai friend. There is plenty that we have in common and not all are looking for free rides.

I would say that I have a similar problem as thequietman, but would say that I can not find a dwcent farang friend. I have lots of Thai friends, and not just drinking buddies.

thequietman: good luck, finding good friends is always worth the effort. Better to have 1 good friend than 10 knobs.

Posted
I have friends here and there....well if it makes you happy...why not?

I'd be careful there.

He sounds kinda needy....

And abit whiney..

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

If I imagined people hated me, who did not, I would be paranoid.

If I have imaginary friends, what is the correct term, eh Barney?

SC

Expat forum regular?

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

  • Like 1
Posted

I find it odd that quite a few people don't think they can have (or that it takes too much effort) to find a good Thai friend. There is plenty that we have in common and not all are looking for free rides.

I would say that I have a similar problem as thequietman, but would say that I can not find a dwcent farang friend. I have lots of Thai friends, and not just drinking buddies.

thequietman: good luck, finding good friends is always worth the effort. Better to have 1 good friend than 10 knobs.

I can't imagine how great it would be to have ten knobs. Better if you're a squid, obviously...

SC

Edit: I also can't imagine how anyone could take these threads seriously...

How can I develop my imagination?

EDIT: Typos corrected

Posted

...

Football finished.

Well I think you just replied to yourself as to why you cannot find friendship in Thailand.

Those of us who live here with Thai families do not exhibit the prejudices you do.

I am the first to admit that Thai are racist,every thing they are taught leads them to this. I expect better of a farang, if that is what you are.

What the hell are you doing living here?

Why if you despise the Thai are you living in their country?

Thai in farang lands get plenty of stick too.

I am not on any side with regard to who is right or wrong when judging by skin , language or facial features.

If you want friends that are akin to you, then you are in the wrong country.

I am an alien here, a second class citizen , because I am a farang, but ironically one who the Thai aspire to copy!

Strange land, not a place for a naive farang of sensitivity to choose as home!

The colonial days are over, get to grips with it!

Why do you get so excited about strangers on the internet?

SC

It is close to my heart and I like a good debate!

This sounds more like a massdebate.

In a way you are all right.

I don’t consider myself any different from the Thais. When I am in their company everyone seems the same to me and I actually forget that I am a foreigner. Some Thais have asked me, what’s the difference between Thais and farangs and I just answer, nothing, except that I speak a different language.

But in the past and every so often I have had the misfortune of encountering a Thai that disliked me, not for who I am, but for what I am, luckily these instances are few and far between, but they’re here and prejudice exists even if only in small numbers.

When my Thai wife, me and the kids where living in the States and UK sometimes complete strangers would approach them and call them chinks, or shouted, go back to where you came from. Again not often, but it happened. I suppose every country has it`s share of nationalistic brain dead a/holes. But generally all this just washes over my shoulders and I don’t think about such things, so it doesn’t mar my enjoyment of living in Thailand although I am always aware that I am a stranger living in a foreign land. I think this is why it`s good to have some farang friends, all in the same boat so to speak and in a way is rather like the peruvial flock of birds, safety in numbers or we keep closer to certain groups for a feeling of comfort and security, but I could be wrong.

Although I do agree we should be able to pick and choose who’s company we keep in with here, I believe that dismissing other farangs from our lives completely, even if we have Thai families here is not a wise thing to do, as who knows what could happen in this country in the future? Keeping in mind that our presence is tolerated in Thailand but doesn’t necessarily mean we are liked.

To me is just common sense.

Posted

It might be a good idea for you to take another look at expat Thai communities and who it is that makes up these expat Thai communities.

I'll grant you, Thai students and Thai business travellers will be from somewhere near the top of the social ladder, you might argue the same for the Thai families who travel the world mob handed - But there are huge numbers of Thais from another part of Thai society who are "Working their passage"

I think we have different attitudes - I have nothing against hookers, gold diggers right on up the scale to respectable housewives and mothers and everyone in between. If they made it out of Thailand and have created a life for themselves overseas I reckon they are in the top 1% within the context of whatever their background may be.

We already had a thread about not being accepted in some Bangkok circles if your partner is a (ex) bar girl. It's the same in the villages.

No one was talking about sex workers as partners, nor about farangs being accepted. I was simply clarifying my own view of Thais overseas, and my opposition to that kind of prejudice generally.

Posted

I don't normally base my opinion of people on their jobs. Normally I base it on how I get on with them.

Obviously, that might be tempered by the position that they fill in society; I have generally found that I get on better with my clients, than by the street muggers I have met. But I don't know how many of my acquaintance and friends work part time as street muggers; its not something I normally ask, and why would I? What business is it of mine?

SC

Posted

I've said it before and I'll say it again.......................

It doesn't matter where you go in the world, the one thing you can't run away from is your personality.

I get the impression that the OP is quite happy with being alone, and quite happy to do his own thing, but every now and then just be able to sit down and shoot the sh*t with an amiable equal.

Unfortunately he seems to be surrounded ( with a couple of exceptions ) with the cast of misfits so familiar to many of us. Op if it makes any difference to you I have found on my various spells as an ex-pat that the answer lies within the local community.

You will get more joy with the locals than with the misfits, and the odd occasion that a diamond happens by is all the better. I have had some incredible, outstanding nights with the locals in, for example, China. Amazing nights.

I suggest you sharpen up your integration into the local community a little bit more, enjoy the company of the 70 yo friend when you can and see what develops. I bet in a few months you will have some outstanding stories to tell.

I would like a new personality that makes me more adorable to women or at least let me make love to them at a cheaper rate, because unfortunately I seem to have lost my charm.

In your professional opinion, do you think personality can be substituted with money?

Posted

I've said it before and I'll say it again.......................

It doesn't matter where you go in the world, the one thing you can't run away from is your personality.

I get the impression that the OP is quite happy with being alone, and quite happy to do his own thing, but every now and then just be able to sit down and shoot the sh*t with an amiable equal.

Unfortunately he seems to be surrounded ( with a couple of exceptions ) with the cast of misfits so familiar to many of us. Op if it makes any difference to you I have found on my various spells as an ex-pat that the answer lies within the local community.

You will get more joy with the locals than with the misfits, and the odd occasion that a diamond happens by is all the better. I have had some incredible, outstanding nights with the locals in, for example, China. Amazing nights.

I suggest you sharpen up your integration into the local community a little bit more, enjoy the company of the 70 yo friend when you can and see what develops. I bet in a few months you will have some outstanding stories to tell.

I would like a new personality that makes me more adorable to women or at least let me make love to them at a cheaper rate, because unfortunately I seem to have lost my charm.

In your professional opinion, do you think personality can be substituted with money?

No it can't. Nor can great sexual experience or charm...nor wit nor a huge preponderance.

Not when it is a financial transaction from the start.

Enjoy yourself out there...

Posted

I've said it before and I'll say it again.......................

It doesn't matter where you go in the world, the one thing you can't run away from is your personality.

I get the impression that the OP is quite happy with being alone, and quite happy to do his own thing, but every now and then just be able to sit down and shoot the sh*t with an amiable equal.

Unfortunately he seems to be surrounded ( with a couple of exceptions ) with the cast of misfits so familiar to many of us. Op if it makes any difference to you I have found on my various spells as an ex-pat that the answer lies within the local community.

You will get more joy with the locals than with the misfits, and the odd occasion that a diamond happens by is all the better. I have had some incredible, outstanding nights with the locals in, for example, China. Amazing nights.

I suggest you sharpen up your integration into the local community a little bit more, enjoy the company of the 70 yo friend when you can and see what develops. I bet in a few months you will have some outstanding stories to tell.

I would like a new personality that makes me more adorable to women or at least let me make love to them at a cheaper rate, because unfortunately I seem to have lost my charm.

In your professional opinion, do you think personality can be substituted with money?

I think your needing plastic surgery more than a new personality....................

Posted

OK . enough of this nonsense people. Let's cut to the chase.

Isn't it obvious why a person who chooses an online name 'thequietman' can't get friends?

Posted

OK . enough of this nonsense people. Let's cut to the chase.

Isn't it obvious why a person who chooses an online name 'thequietman' can't get friends?

A joke? A Bendix joke?

I thought your sense of humor was surgically removed during the insertastickupassectomy procedure?

Has it grown back?

  • Like 1
Posted

OK . enough of this nonsense people. Let's cut to the chase.

Isn't it obvious why a person who chooses an online name 'thequietman' can't get friends?

A joke? A Bendix ™ joke?

I thought your sense of humor was surgically removed during the insertastickupassectomy procedure?

Has it grown back?

It wasnt a joke. It was a caustically satirical observation, full of pointed truths and psychological insight.

A joke? Pah . . I spit on your jokes. Jokes are for comedians. I'm a social commentator.

The guy has a trillion online names to choose from, and he chose one that reveals a huge amount about himself and the way he interacts with people and society.

In that regard, the thread is irrelevant, and the answer to the OP's original question is crystal clear.

  • Like 1
Posted

I had a good friend...then one night I found him in a ladyboy bar with a penis in his hand....I was shocked.

A ladyboy bar that you just happened to stroll into under the misconception that it was a 7-11 sam? biggrin.png

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