Our maid's daughter had a Thai b/f for a few months and got her pregnant. Our maid and her daughter ( both Thai) went to visit the boy and was told by the boy's mother never to visit them again and not to ask for any money or help/

Can it be this easy for these Thai boys or is there a legal avenue to look into to hold this kid (20 yo) responsible for a part of the financial well being of this soon to be born child.

I saw the 10 million baht thread and thought to start a new thread on a same but different problem.

20 years old means he is a minor, which might complicate things and make it a little bit different.

Normally the child has a right to child support, for which she can file a paternity suit against the fahter. When the judge determines he is the fahter, he will have to pay child support.

Childsupport in Thailand is between 3,000 and 6,000 a month, depending on the age of the child, and with the parents sharing medical and educational cost.

Try to get help from a local Thai figure of authority/respect to help negotiate a deal, to avoid legal costs. Especialliy when the boy doesn't have any money, there is no real recourse.

Are you sure 20 year old is a minor in Thailand. I think that is incorrect. The rules on girls working in girly bars is 20 and over. So its reasonable to presume the age is 20.

sent from my Wellcom A90+

It is almost impossible to collect child support from a male Thai if he doesn't want to pay it, even if awarded by a Thai court. Court fees would also likely exceed any maintenance and would need to be paid up front.

You would also need to know the age of the girl, if older than the boy, his mother could sue her for having underage sex with her son.

Edited May 30, 201214 yr by TommoPhysicist

I spoke to Mrs SP after posting this and I said " There might be some sort of family court to help" and she quickly dismisses it and says that the boys family has no money and this is why in Thailand there are so many single young ladies with kids. What a shame. I then asked if there was any kind of community support for young ladies in this situation and she quickly dismissed it and said no.

BTW, what is the age of being a responsible male adult here?

I spoke to Mrs SP after posting this and I said " There might be some sort of family court to help" and she quickly dismisses it and says that the boys family has no money and this is why in Thailand there are so many single young ladies with kids. What a shame. I then asked if there was any kind of community support for young ladies in this situation and she quickly dismissed it and said no.

BTW, what is the age of being a responsible male adult here?

Mrs. SP is not giving you sound advice. When this sort of thing happens in the Thai community, you can bet your a** that the girl's family will not put up with it. If the girl's mother can't handle it on her own, she needs to bring her associates (hopefully an elder male) and confront the boy's mother to sort this out. You are not getting the full story.

I spoke to Mrs SP after posting this and I said " There might be some sort of family court to help" and she quickly dismisses it and says that the boys family has no money and this is why in Thailand there are so many single young ladies with kids. What a shame. I then asked if there was any kind of community support for young ladies in this situation and she quickly dismissed it and said no.

BTW, what is the age of being a responsible male adult here?

Mrs. SP is not giving you sound advice. When this sort of thing happens in the Thai community, you can bet your a** that the girl's family will not put up with it. If the girl's mother can't handle it on her own, she needs to bring her associates (hopefully an elder male) and confront the boy's mother to sort this out. You are not getting the full story.

Berkshire,

We're in Phuket, not in the village. Things are a bit different here. As a side note, the father ran off with another bird 1year ago.

Edited May 30, 201214 yr by steelepulse

Are you sure 20 year old is a minor in Thailand. I think that is incorrect. The rules on girls working in girly bars is 20 and over. So its reasonable to presume the age is 20.

sent from my Wellcom A90+

I stand corrected. It seems indeed to be 20 and not 21, as also confirmed on wikipedia.

A court case might not give results now, but who knows if in the future the fahtrer might have a (good) job....

A court can order that the maintenance cost will be deducted from the fathers salary and paid to the mother.

Just trying to understand your thinking.

Why do you consider your maid's daughter's unborn child your problem?

The Thais know both their social, cultural and court system far better then we do.

From our culture, and abortion is an option.

But our culture is not their culture ... so why the question you are asking?

The Thais are doing just fine ... we don't have to rescue them.

EDIT:- I notice that you are soon for 3,000 posts, so have been here a long time ...

My post is not trying to stir you up but just genuinely 'Just trying to understand your thinking.'

Edited May 30, 201214 yr by David48

I spoke to Mrs SP after posting this and I said " There might be some sort of family court to help" and she quickly dismisses it and says that the boys family has no money and this is why in Thailand there are so many single young ladies with kids. What a shame. I then asked if there was any kind of community support for young ladies in this situation and she quickly dismissed it and said no.

BTW, what is the age of being a responsible male adult here?

Threres ton's of girls working in Pattaya with this same story. That's why many of them are there. They are not liiving a civilized country where there is a justice system worthy of the name and has any state agency to help track down the deadbeat father and forces payment of child support.

I spoke to Mrs SP after posting this and I said " There might be some sort of family court to help" and she quickly dismisses it and says that the boys family has no money and this is why in Thailand there are so many single young ladies with kids. What a shame. I then asked if there was any kind of community support for young ladies in this situation and she quickly dismissed it and said no.

BTW, what is the age of being a responsible male adult here?

Threres ton's of girls working in Pattaya with this same story. That's why many of them are there. They are not liiving a civilized country where there is a justice system worthy of the name and has any state agency to help track down the deadbeat father and forces payment of child support.

*sigh* ... why ... because we don't have a -1 button.

Threres ton's of girls working in Pattaya with this same story. That's why many of them are there. They are not liiving a civilized country where there is a justice system worthy of the name and has any state agency to help track down the deadbeat father and forces payment of child support.

Or on the other hand, Thailand is one of the few civilized countries in the world that does have a FAIR justice system.

Their bodies, their choice to have a baby without a husband, their responsibility to support the baby.

Too many deadbeat mothers in the west, that expect somebody else to pay for their irresponsible choices.

I'd pay for the abortion if that is what the girl wants. She does not need this one mistake to muck up the rest of her life.

Threres ton's of girls working in Pattaya with this same story. That's why many of them are there. They are not liiving a civilized country where there is a justice system worthy of the name and has any state agency to help track down the deadbeat father and forces payment of child support.

Or on the other hand, Thailand is one of the few civilized countries in the world that does have a FAIR justice system.

Their bodies, their choice to have a baby without a husband, their responsibility to support the baby.

Too many deadbeat mothers in the west, that expect somebody else to pay for their irresponsible choices.

So, in your view, it was a virgin birth? If I remember my biology lessons correctly, under normal circumstances, it takes two people to make a baby. You seem to want to excuse the father of the child completely. FAIL!!

"Thailand is one of the few civilized countries in the world that does have a FAIR justice system"

Threres ton's of girls working in Pattaya with this same story. That's why many of them are there. They are not liiving a civilized country where there is a justice system worthy of the name and has any state agency to help track down the deadbeat father and forces payment of child support.

Or on the other hand, Thailand is one of the few civilized countries in the world that does have a FAIR justice system.

Their bodies, their choice to have a baby without a husband, their responsibility to support the baby.

Too many deadbeat mothers in the west, that expect somebody else to pay for their irresponsible choices.

So, in your view, it was a virgin birth? If I remember my biology lessons correctly, under normal circumstances, it takes two people to make a baby. You seem to want to excuse the father of the child completely. FAIL!!

"Thailand is one of the few civilized countries in the world that does have a FAIR justice system"

In the words of my wife " why should I pay taxes to support some dozy cow?"

Frankly I agree with her, thankfully this is Thailand not some fascist Euro state where Big Brother knows best.

Its called personal responsibility, the girl chose to have unprotected sex and all that it entails,no one forced her to have unprotected sex, live with the consequences.

There are always two sides to every story, maybe the girl told the boy she was on the pill, we dont know, and until we do its too easy to jump to conclusions.

Still her choice let her deal with it.

Threres ton's of girls working in Pattaya with this same story. That's why many of them are there. They are not liiving a civilized country where there is a justice system worthy of the name and has any state agency to help track down the deadbeat father and forces payment of child support.

Or on the other hand, Thailand is one of the few civilized countries in the world that does have a FAIR justice system.

Their bodies, their choice to have a baby without a husband, their responsibility to support the baby.

Too many deadbeat mothers in the west, that expect somebody else to pay for their irresponsible choices.

So, in your view, it was a virgin birth? If I remember my biology lessons correctly, under normal circumstances, it takes two people to make a baby. You seem to want to excuse the father of the child completely. FAIL!!

"Thailand is one of the few civilized countries in the world that does have a FAIR justice system"

In the words of my wife " why should I pay taxes to support some dozy cow?"

Frankly I agree with her, thankfully this is Thailand not some fascist Euro state where Big Brother knows best.

Its called personal responsibility, the girl chose to have unprotected sex and all that it entails,no one forced her to have unprotected sex, live with the consequences.

There are always two sides to every story, maybe the girl told the boy she was on the pill, we dont know, and until we do its too easy to jump to conclusions.

Still her choice let her deal with it.

Must be wonderful to live in fantasy land where men have no responsibilities. I guess you were sick the day they explained to you in grade school how babies are made. Perhaps that is why you can be forgiven for thinking this was solely the woman's choice. After all, men aren't supposed to have personal responsibility for their unprotected sexual encounters. At least, not according to the sexpat community in Thailand.

Here's an idea...use a condom and then you never have to worry about this issue. But of course, it is so much easier to simply blame the women. For those of us who struggled to have children, the idea of any man simply abandoning such a precious gift and claiming no responsibility to the child is truly abominable. Yes the woman chose to have the child. But it was equally the man's decision to father the child.

So while you can argue the West may not place enough emphasis on the mother's responsibility, there is no moral basis for trying to claim the man should be able to shirk his. And Thailand doesn't do nearly enough to enforce the latter.

There is another side to this story, that of the child. The child didn't ask for anything, he/she is simply born by the results of the actions of the mother and father. Consequently they are both responsibel for the child.

That is also how a judge sees it. Any talk about the mother should have taken the pill, etc will be repsonded by a judge with that it is of no interest, he doesn't care less and to be quiet.

>>Why do you consider your maid's daughter's unborn child your problem?

It's not directly my problem, but indirectly it is. We provide a place for her to stay, food etc. and her daughter stays with her. After the baby is born, do you think the maid will have the same amount of time and energy to do her job, or will she be helping to take care of the baby? Hmmmmmm

The daughter had a job making 10K/mo and with the birth of the baby,she won't be able to work, which means they'll be looking somewhere for help. If the daughter goes to work, then the mother will have to take care of the baby, so this does affect us.

Our maid has been with us for a few years so it's not like we're going to kick her to the curb, and hiring a new maid can be a crapshoot.

It's not directly my problem, but indirectly it is. We provide a place for her to stay, food etc. and her daughter stays with her. After the baby is born, do you think the maid will have the same amount of time and energy to do her job, or will she be helping to take care of the baby? Hmmmmmm

Sack the maid and get a new one, not your problem, always another maid available for hire.

She is hired help, not a friend or a charity case.

My nephew's girlfriend told him she was on the pill and he believed her. Foolish boy, but when he found out she was lying and got pregnant he did "the right thing" and married her even though she had lied to him. They are still married, not happily and he supports his child. This is a pretty common scenario where I live.

In this case, she can take him to court and get some money out of him but most likely will have to do a paternity test if the child is born out of wedlock and he does not accept paternity. But if they are poor and have no money, not sure what the point is. If he cant support the child when they aren't together I am not sure how different it is if they were together.

It does take two to tango and the virulent anti-Thai man brigade certainly enjoys leaping in when they don't know or care to know anything other than what they choose to believe.

It's not directly my problem, but indirectly it is. We provide a place for her to stay, food etc. and her daughter stays with her. After the baby is born, do you think the maid will have the same amount of time and energy to do her job, or will she be helping to take care of the baby? Hmmmmmm

The daughter had a job making 10K/mo and with the birth of the baby,she won't be able to work, which means they'll be looking somewhere for help. If the daughter goes to work, then the mother will have to take care of the baby, so this does affect us.

Our maid has been with us for a few years so it's not like we're going to kick her to the curb, and hiring a new maid can be a crapshoot.

"Provide a place for her to stay" do you mean maid and her daughter are living on your property, or just in a rented room somewhere else?

It's not directly my problem, but indirectly it is. We provide a place for her to stay, food etc. and her daughter stays with her. After the baby is born, do you think the maid will have the same amount of time and energy to do her job, or will she be helping to take care of the baby? Hmmmmmm

The daughter had a job making 10K/mo and with the birth of the baby,she won't be able to work, which means they'll be looking somewhere for help. If the daughter goes to work, then the mother will have to take care of the baby, so this does affect us.

Our maid has been with us for a few years so it's not like we're going to kick her to the curb, and hiring a new maid can be a crapshoot.

"Provide a place for her to stay" do you mean maid and her daughter are living on your property, or just in a rented room somewhere else?

Not on my property, but why do you ask?

Not on my property, but why do you ask?

Because if the baby was going to be living in your house too, that would be mental (waking you up at night etc..)

But seeing as it's somewhere else you'll not need to see the baby if you don't want.

For me I would just do nothing yet; if when the baby comes the maid keeps missing working, then time to look for a new maid.

The words of the Neil Young song 'Rockin 'in the Free World' come to mind.

Very sad that in so many cases the child must bear the weight of the parents lack of responsibility.

Kudos to the OP for caring ...

My nephew's girlfriend told him she was on the pill and he believed her. Foolish boy, but when he found out she was lying and got pregnant he did "the right thing" and married her even though she had lied to him. They are still married, not happily and he supports his child. This is a pretty common scenario where I live.

In this case, she can take him to court and get some money out of him but most likely will have to do a paternity test if the child is born out of wedlock and he does not accept paternity. But if they are poor and have no money, not sure what the point is. If he cant support the child when they aren't together I am not sure how different it is if they were together.

It does take two to tango and the virulent anti-Thai man brigade certainly enjoys leaping in when they don't know or care to know anything other than what they choose to believe.

The "girl told boy she was on the pill and boy did all his thinking with his little head" occurs all over the world. It is also totally irrelevant. The child deserves the support, financial and otherwise, of both parents. If the man does not voluntarily cooperate in a paternity test, the courts should force him to do so. And if he is the father and does not contribute child support, the government and courts should force him to.

I have not seen this "virulent anti-Thai man brigade" anywhere here. I does not matter what race or nationality the father is. A man that does not contribute to the support of his child is not a man at all. The government needs to put a far higher priority in action to assist in obtaining child support. It is far more important than the white-washing of a certain fugitive in Dubai or whether an old man sent a few text messages from a cell phone.

Some off-topic posts have been deleted. The OP has asked a fairly straightforward question. Stick to the topic.

I spoke to Mrs SP after posting this and I said " There might be some sort of family court to help" and she quickly dismisses it and says that the boys family has no money and this is why in Thailand there are so many single young ladies with kids. What a shame. I then asked if there was any kind of community support for young ladies in this situation and she quickly dismissed it and said no.

BTW, what is the age of being a responsible male adult here?

Threres ton's of girls working in Pattaya with this same story. That's why many of them are there. They are not liiving a civilized country where there is a justice system worthy of the name and has any state agency to help track down the deadbeat father and forces payment of child support.

In many of our so called civilised Western countries this is ineffective. In the UK hundreds of thousands of deadbeat fathers pay nothing towards the children they have sired with equally deadbeat mothers and many of these children grow up to be beadbeat kids and eventually repeat the same cycle for future generations leaving the tax payer to fund their lifestyle.

One of the reasons the UK is going down the pan. Years ago it was a prisonable offence to fail to support your children.