My Wife'S Friends

[loong]

My interpretation on this, or how I have had it explained to me -

Thai women worry about farang who can speak Thai, because it can/often indicates someone who has spent a lot of time in 'the bars'... especially obvious if they use Issan Thai words of accents... I have never heard it indicated that it is because the Thai's can't talk as freely, or be deceptive...

Much the same as farang may be suspicious of a lower class Thai girl with good English skills - she probably didn't learn it at school, so she has been more likely been exposed to a lot of English speakers... it is easy to jump to the assumption that this exposure was in the context of bar work...

perhaps dean999's missus couldn't explain the reasons behind it, or perhaps there is another reason... but that would be my take on it...

Back in the Day, when I was 30, shopping in Siam Centre with my (farang) wife, I overheard one sales girl comment to another about the 'handsome farang'... the look on her face when I responded in Thai with 'thank you very much' was priceless, then she tried to cover with 'your wife is very beautiful too'....

Cheers,

Daewoo

I never thought of it this way, yes I would always be a bit wary of a farm girl speaking good English. Never considered when thr boot is on the other foot

[culicine]

The most delicious dish.......

Don't declare you can speak Thai, you will learn a lot more in 5 minutes than you will in 5 years otherwise.

The Thais that want to talk negatively think they have an advantage over you, let them hang themselves with their stupidity and slamdunk them when it suits you.

Then enjoy the look of dread when they realize what they have done. Timing, dear boy, timing.

By the way it's not just a Thai thing, every country does it.

Like the two Japanese ladies who were guessing the endowment of my friend on a train in Japan. He asked them in Japanese if they wanted to go back to his place to see for themselves

[loong]

Many moons ago, when I was a butterfly happily flitting from flower to flower and travelling round Thailand, met a girl down near the river in Phitsanaluk. We were chatting in Thai as my Thai was much better than her English. We had a mel and a few drinks and sometime during the night she telephoned a friend.

Her friend arrived and the first thing that she said to her friend was to be careful what she said because the farang can understand Thai.

The friend was obviously a lot more intelligent than this girl and pointed out that if I could understand Thai, then I would know what she had just said. The friend was out of there in no time. The girl got 50 Baht out of me for a taxi home. It was worth it as it gave me a giggle

[hotandhumid]

It sounds like a real blast in your house.

[notmyself]

I suspect the reason many ladies don't want their 'man' to learn their language is because he will then know what utter inane rubbish she talks about with her friends and these are the ones who are cleaver enough to realize. This is not Thai specific by any means.

[Puccini]

Reading the OP I got the strong impression that something got lost or misinterpreted in translation. Unfortunately, the OP did not give the original Thai wording of what he posted as "falang that speaks good Thai is no good" but most likely a literal translation would be "farang speak Thai not good", and with this the friends of the OP's wife meant that it is not good for them that a farang is able to understand and speak Thai. Many replies in this thread saw it this way, too.

[mca]

It's true that those that learn their Thai from Isaan people will pick up their dialect, accent etc and immediately be identified as a low-class monger by respectable Thais.

I think your post reads better with "" marks around the word respectable.

[mca]

The girl got 50 Baht out of me for a taxi home.

Playa!

[manarak]

My interpretation on this, or how I have had it explained to me -

Thai women worry about farang who can speak Thai, because it can/often indicates someone who has spent a lot of time in 'the bars'... especially obvious if they use Issan Thai words of accents... I have never heard it indicated that it is because the Thai's can't talk as freely, or be deceptive...

Much the same as farang may be suspicious of a lower class Thai girl with good English skills - she probably didn't learn it at school, so she has been more likely been exposed to a lot of English speakers... it is easy to jump to the assumption that this exposure was in the context of bar work...

perhaps dean999's missus couldn't explain the reasons behind it, or perhaps there is another reason... but that would be my take on it...

Back in the Day, when I was 30, shopping in Siam Centre with my (farang) wife, I overheard one sales girl comment to another about the 'handsome farang'... the look on her face when I responded in Thai with 'thank you very much' was priceless, then she tried to cover with 'your wife is very beautiful too'....

Cheers,

Daewoo

I never thought of it this way, yes I would always be a bit wary of a farm girl speaking good English. Never considered when thr boot is on the other foot

I have been called "Tao" (turtle) and understood it was not the best thing.

The girl could only explain the word by "when the farang knows too much already"

[Kilgore Trout]

Glad to hear someone's actual experience with this, there are many here who will tell you that no Thai thinks that and that type of thing just doesn't happen. They will try to tell you that you are a foreigner and you must have misunderstood the language or culture because Thais just don't think that way.

Well, not all of them, but certainly a large contingent do....

[Kilgore Trout]

For sure, let her organise things like that, that is what an equal relationship should be about.

Who says the Protestant Western Christian model of marriage is either the ideal one, or appropriate in a Buddhist country.

Seems to me that sort of marriage agreement has already proven itself a total failure in most western countries.

Jewish, Muslim, and Buddhist marriages/relationships are not about equal partnerships. They are about the man being in charge and the woman being property of the man.

I live in Thailand, my wife is Thai.

My wife serves me and I protect her according to our Thai wedding vows.

You clearly don't know squat about Jewish people....I would go so far as to say the same about the other religions you mentioned

[TommoPhysicist]

You clearly don't know squat about Jewish people....I would go so far as to say the same about the other religions you mentioned

Of course I am speaking about people who truly believe, not those who pretend to be WASPs.

I once dated a Jewish girl whose family were so extreme, no machinery to be used on Saturday, including cars and light switches.

I was quite useful on Saturday as I could uncover the food that was laid out under a cloth the nigh before, as they didn't want to do it.

[apetley]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

What's your opinion on a Thai saying they don't like a foreigner who can speak Thai?

I for one would be wary of someone who didn't like my ability to speak the local language.

Sent from my GT-I9003 using Thaivisa Connect App

[aneliane]

I also wanted to ask the OP/Dean if he can find out why these women think that the "Falang who speaks Thai is no good." Surely they must have a reason why they think this way.

I'll ask her friends when i see them next. I asked my wife and she said it's to do with Falang looking like they are being clever. She said Thai's are happy around the villages for us to speak Thai but area's like Pattaya, Phucket ect they don't like it. I say it's because thoughs area's have the highest percentage of liar's and bad people. For example, if you understand Thai you will hear the conversations about all their gik's and how they fleece them. So they look bad and loose face.

dam_n right, Farangs should understand as little as possible of what's going on in THL.

[Kilgore Trout]

You clearly don't know squat about Jewish people....I would go so far as to say the same about the other religions you mentioned

Of course I am speaking about people who truly believe, not those who pretend to be WASPs.

I once dated a Jewish girl whose family were so extreme, no machinery to be used on Saturday, including cars and light switches.

I was quite useful on Saturday as I could uncover the food that was laid out under a cloth the nigh before, as they didn't want to do it.

Well congratulations on being the Shabbos goy, but I don't see how that relates to Jewish people subjugating women; Islam on the other hand I might have to agree with you.

[bendix]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

What's your opinion on a Thai saying they don't like a foreigner who can speak Thai?

I for one would be wary of someone who didn't like my ability to speak the local language.

Sent from my GT-I9003 using Thaivisa Connect App

I dont have one. It's not a view that I have ever heard expressed by anyone Thai, except in a jocular fashion by my secretary once who laughed with her colleagues that as I understood the language more, they would have to be more discrete in their gossip.

[true blue]

in support of op,i rember many years ago a thai lady friend saying same thing to me,more on the lines its what i said in thai, or how i said it that upset here,propaly some things forigners say in thai is not taken or understood,as the farang meant it to be,hence they dont like forigner speaking thai.

[23962323]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

I wouldn't trust my own shadow in Thailand

[ozzieovaseas]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

I wouldn't trust my own shadow in Thailand

Aye, I was wondering who was that sneaky basterd following me around

If its true that the only woman you should trust is your own mother, then good thing she does'nt reside in Krungthep

Edited June 1, 2012 by ozzieovaseas

[transam]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

I wouldn't trust my own shadow in Thailand

Aye, I was wondering who was that sneaky basterd following me around

If its true that the only woman you should trust is your own mother, then good thing she does'nt reside in Krungthep

Joking aside, your mum IS the only women to trust unless you are really unlucky.

[bina]

You clearly don't know squat about Jewish people....I would go so far as to say the same about the other religions you mentioned

Of course I am speaking about people who truly believe, not those who pretend to be WASPs.

I once dated a Jewish girl whose family were so extreme, no machinery to be used on Saturday, including cars and light switches.

I was quite useful on Saturday as I could uncover the food that was laid out under a cloth the nigh before, as they didn't want to do it.

sigh.......... thats called keeping kosher, and they werent extreme, just religious, and we are not property of our husbands, true, among the orthodox , gender roles are divided, but definately not property. thats why we have a ketuba, to protect us when divorcing... even in these modern times... and a large majorityo f us are not 'true believers' but most of our work places, hotels, transportation etc also go by halachic rules, we are used to not using electricity on friday night to saturday, no busses, no stores etc.... and no religiuos jew would ever request from a non jew to perform a duty that 'breaks shabbat' as u indicate .... he/she could only 'suggest' in various ways to get u to do the job... totally off topic btw, and rather stereotypical and racist...

Neither the Buddha nor Buddhist texts give specific instructions on marriage and family life-- and u can check on buddanet and other buddhist sites for more information.

bina

israel

[Jake829]

Just a reverse of the topic....when I first took my wife to Oz, she couldn't speak english very well, but understood it very well.

Many times while out she overheard many conversations that the people around her obviously thought that she couldn't understand her.

I found out some very amusing home truths about some people......

....back on topic, I am with Blether. I cannot speak Thai yet but would really love to be in the position of being thought that I cannot understand...then drop the bombshell.

As I live in the sticks and am constantly surrounded by Thai conversation, one would think that some of it would seep thru my thick skull....but alas am struggling. All the locals in the village (plus family) want me to be able to speak Thai.....so I haven't encountered the negative side out here.

If you live in issan you won't learn no Thai at all, locals will only speak Lao or Khmer dialects so unless you live in the central plains you will be wasting your time because people from issan cannot speak good Thai or even pronounce it properly, try to imagine a Welshman talking like me a true cockney from London and you'll get the idea

[mca]

If you live in issan you won't learn no Thai at all, locals will only speak Lao or Khmer dialects so unless you live in the central plains you will be wasting your time because people from issan cannot speak good Thai or even pronounce it properly,

Maybe if you live in boondocks central. My sincere apologies but the statement that locals will only speak Lao or Khymer dialect and can't speak good Thai or pronounce it properly is, for want of a better word or words, a load of <deleted>

[ozzieovaseas]

If you live in issan you won't learn no Thai at all, locals will only speak Lao or Khmer dialects so unless you live in the central plains you will be wasting your time because people from issan cannot speak good Thai or even pronounce it properly,

Maybe if you live in boondocks central. My sincere apologies but the statement that locals will only speak Lao or Khymer dialect and can't speak good Thai or pronounce it properly is, for want of a better word or words, a load of <deleted>

Have to second that..complete <deleted>.

Yes, there's many individual words and nuances in the Isaan dialects that might differ from the traditional Thai, but in no way does this hamper an Isaan person from communicating or being understood by a Bangkok Thai..

I'd say nearly all Thais have a pretty good knowledge of the various Isaan words that differ from Thai, in general conversation anyway.

But to say you will learn no Thai at all upcountry?? how do these guys come up with this stuff??

[edwinclapham]

If you live in issan you won't learn no Thai at all, locals will only speak Lao or Khmer dialects so unless you live in the central plains you will be wasting your time because people from issan cannot speak good Thai or even pronounce it properly,

Maybe if you live in boondocks central. My sincere apologies but the statement that locals will only speak Lao or Khymer dialect and can't speak good Thai or pronounce it properly is, for want of a better word or words, a load of <deleted>

Have to second that..complete <deleted>.

Yes, there's many individual words and nuances in the Isaan dialects that might differ from the traditional Thai, but in no way does this hamper an Isaan person from communicating or being understood by a Bangkok Thai..

I'd say nearly all Thais have a pretty good knowledge of the various Isaan words that differ from Thai, in general conversation anyway.

But to say you will learn no Thai at all upcountry?? how do these guys come up with this stuff??

One generally finds that the person with little or no knowledge of the Thai language comes out with this crap

[TommoPhysicist]

My misses (a simple village girl) can speak Central, Issan/Lao, Lanna and Southern Thai along with English.

Most Thais can speak at least two flavours of Thai ..... Central plus their local brand.

In the local Mong and ThaiYai (Shan) villages, many can also speak Mandarin and Arabic.

The big problem, as a foreigner, is deciding which version to learn.

You just have to accept, your woman can hide stuff from you if she wants.

When two Thais meet for the first time, there is often a period for setting common language parameters.

High School is taught in Central Thai only.

Edited June 2, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[mca]

.

Most Thais can speak at least two flavours of Thai ..... Central plus their local brand.

Exactly. When I worked in BKK the Isaan bellboys would be all "Maen bor?" and " Eeyang wa?" in the staff smoking area and "Krapom, krapom " with the guests.

Same as me. In a formal situation like a job interview I'll be speaking like a BBC Newreader but when my folks or mates from home hit town it's all this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norfolk_dialect

[BigJohnnyBKK]

My misses (a simple village girl) can speak Central, Issan/Lao, Lanna and Southern Thai along with English.

Most Thais can speak at least two flavours of Thai ..... Central plus their local brand.

In the local Mong and ThaiYai (Shan) villages, many can also speak Mandarin and Arabic.

The big problem, as a foreigner, is deciding which version to learn.

You just have to accept, your woman can hide stuff from you if she wants.

When two Thais meet for the first time, there is often a period for setting common language parameters.

High School is taught in Central Thai only.

I believe that's true for all levels even in the boonies.

And instruction in their first language isn't available even as an elective, the dominant minority explicitly suppresses the "lesser" languages.

I'd be surprised if instruction in neighboring countries' languages are available even at tertiary level outside of perhaps a small number of linguistic-specialist departments.

My Khmer-speaking SOs were not even aware that their first language had a writing system thousands of years old, compared to the rather recent invention of writing for central Thai.

[Rancid]

OP here is just something to think about. My ex-wife, note the ex, did everything she could to sabotage me learning Thai. She was basically a camouflaged slut with lots to hide (no not even a BG). After finally escaping that nightmare financially secure I went and leaned the language and it has been really useful. My current wife speaks no English and needless to say is delighted I speak Thai or we wouldn't even be together, as are her friends who all babble on fully aware I understand most of what they say.

OP perhaps it should bother you that your wife supports her friends, friends with a very suspicious attitude towards foreigners that can actually understand them, sorry, birds of a feather...

[TommoPhysicist]

sigh.......... thats called keeping kosher, and they werent extreme, just religious, and we are not property of our husbands, true, among the orthodox , gender roles are divided, but definately not property. thats why we have a ketuba, to protect us when divorcing... even in these modern times... and a large majorityo f us are not 'true believers' but most of our work places, hotels, transportation etc also go by halachic rules, we are used to not using electricity on friday night to saturday, no busses, no stores etc.... and no religiuos jew would ever request from a non jew to perform a duty that 'breaks shabbat' as u indicate .... he/she could only 'suggest' in various ways to get u to do the job... totally off topic btw, and rather stereotypical and racist...

Neither the Buddha nor Buddhist texts give specific instructions on marriage and family life-- and u can check on buddanet and other buddhist sites for more information.

bina

israel

Thanks bina, you actually agreed with everything I said, just not the how I said it. As for extreme, maybe not to someone living in Israel in a commune, but to everyone else ..........

As for Buddhist rules, Thais don't really follow those rules as the Thai version of Buddhism is a bit (some would claim totally) twisted.