Manchester United

[jellydog]

In your dreams Jack

Hold up MrRed is back, surely it didn't take 2 days to learn the offside rule

You are an evil dude Alfie, with the memory of an elephant.

[HeavyDrinker]

I've not popped in here for a while.

Can anyone let me know how <deleted> United are having kept the team that won the league last year plus added a (supposedly much needed midfielder) are?

Do it on a scale of 1 (being verily <deleted>) to 10 (being not really arsed about the ABU and media hysteria.

I'll go a 8 for starters seeing as we didn't get beat/humiliated by Cardiff yet....

Edited September 5, 2013 by HeavyDrinker

[mrbojangles]

I'll go a 8 for starters seeing as we didn't get beat/humiliated by Cardiff yet....

Well seeing as you have got 4 points out of a possible 9, I'll give you a 4.2 I can't see how you could award it any higher.

And yes we got beat by Cardiff but hardly humiliated. To state such a thing obviously means you didn't get to see it.

[HeavyDrinker]

And yes we got beat by Cardiff but hardly humiliated.

Watch the defending again....seriously....

[Chicog]

Anyone opened a book on when Moyes gets the boot?

[uptheos]

Rooney's head injury like something from a horror movie, claims England pal Walcott

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2410455/Wayne-Rooneys-head-injury-horror-movie-says-Theo-Walcott.html

L

[SinglePot]

Good job you kept Rooney, otherwise you would be right up the Swanee.

Excellent decision.

[jellydog]

Rooney's head injury like something from a horror movie, claims England pal Walcott

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2410455/Wayne-Rooneys-head-injury-horror-movie-says-Theo-Walcott.html

L

Jeez ! Poor Rooney ! Looks like somebody took an ax to him.

[mrbojangles]

And yes we got beat by Cardiff but hardly humiliated.

Watch the defending again....seriously....

The defending (or lack of) was mentioned even before the game. 2 defensive errors from 2 set pieces hardly accounts for a full 90 minutes. Humiliation is something a kin to what we did to you during the 1-6 at your gaff. Outplayed for 90 mins.

[Billy The Kid]

I am excIted to see how Fellaini fared when he appeared against Crystal Palace next week at Old Trafford. I reckon and hope he is like another Messiah (Cantona) who sparkled the Theatre of Dreams to the highest level.

Edited September 5, 2013 by Billy The Kid

[SinglePot]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHYN7nEzRFk&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZHYN7nEzRFk

Ooh aah....fellaini

[MrRed]

Interlude

[HeavyDrinker]

Humiliation is something a kin to what we did to you during the 1-6 at your gaff.

But it was taken in better grace than the good plastic folks of Cheshire took RVP's bry bumming of Hart last year....

[MrRed]

And yes we got beat by Cardiff but hardly humiliated.

Watch the defending again....seriously....

The defending (or lack of) was mentioned even before the game. 2 defensive errors from 2 set pieces hardly accounts for a full 90 minutes. Humiliation is something a kin to what we did to you during the 1-6 at your gaff. Outplayed for 90 mins.

Actually humiliation is what we have been doing to you for years,correct me if i am wrong but you have had one good season in about 50!

I stand by our little tickle mate and really cannot wait to see Pinocchio mess you up this season.

ps don't forget the 6-1

pps i hope you haven't forgot the 6-1

[nong38]

Fellaini has been spotted on the M62 on his way to join his new teammates for training.

We may not agree on Maggie but this is very good, well done.

[MrRed]

5 year contract for Nani

[SinglePot]

Fellaini has been spotted on the M62 on his way to join his new teammates for training.

We may not agree on Maggie but this is very good, well done.

Yes. An excellent post from Chicog.

Just spotted the small cow in the bottom rh corner. Missed it first time round.

[uptheos]

I am excIted to see how Fellaini fared when he appeared against Crystal Palace next week at Old Trafford. I reckon and hope he is like another Messiah (Cantona) who sparkled the Theatre of Dreams to the highest level.

I'm afraid Cantona and Fellaini are in different leagues,

Fellaini couldn't sparkle the Theatre of Dreams to the highest level if you ran 10,000 volts through him!

[SinglePot]

I am excIted to see how Fellaini fared when he appeared against Crystal Palace next week at Old Trafford. I reckon and hope he is like another Messiah (Cantona) who sparkled the Theatre of Dreams to the highest level.

I'm afraid Cantona and Fellaini are in different leagues,

Fellaini couldn't sparkle the Theatre of Dreams to the highest level if you ran 10,000 volts through him!

Maybe Ozil will. Ronaldo's sick as a pig apparently.

[mrbojangles]

I stand by our little tickle mate

I should hope you do Red, I had no doubt about it.

[SinglePot]

The flirting between city and united confuses me.

[wilai]

Here's one for you Mr Red!

[nev]

Happy Birthday the love of my life!!! Today marks the 111th Anniversary of the first game played under the name Manchester United.

[smokie36]

I've not popped in here for a while.

 

Can anyone let me know how <deleted> United are having kept the team that won the league last year plus added a (supposedly much needed midfielder) are?

 

Do it on a scale of 1 (being verily <deleted>) to 10 (being not really arsed about the ABU and media hysteria. 

 

I'll go a 8 for starters seeing as we didn't get beat/humiliated by Cardiff yet....

Moyes will turn you into a very good pub team....I'm utterly convinced of this.

3.

[SinglePot]

I've not popped in here for a while.

Can anyone let me know how <deleted> United are having kept the team that won the league last year plus added a (supposedly much needed midfielder) are?

Do it on a scale of 1 (being verily <deleted>) to 10 (being not really arsed about the ABU and media hysteria.

I'll go a 8 for starters seeing as we didn't get beat/humiliated by Cardiff yet....

Moyes will turn you into a very good pub team....I'm utterly convinced of this.

3.

5.

ABM

[BIGTOE3]

I've not popped in here for a while.

Can anyone let me know how <deleted> United are having kept the team that won the league last year plus added a (supposedly much needed midfielder) are?

Do it on a scale of 1 (being verily <deleted>) to 10 (being not really arsed about the ABU and media hysteria.

I'll go a 8 for starters seeing as we didn't get beat/humiliated by Cardiff yet....

Moyes will turn you into a very good pub team....I'm utterly convinced of this.

3.

If this is like YOUR predictions - I am very happy about that

BT

[MrRed]

Funny piece from a Leeds fan....

Having recently published an article which sought to convey certain very pertinent truths to the Football community at large, I have noticed a backlash of distress and resentment from some lower forms of life who can broadly be classified as “ManU fans”. These creatures are not normally capable of communicating in the way in which civilised people understand it, but since the “Why Liverpool are Still the Greatest Champions” article saw light of day, various undercurrents of discomfort have been perceived, as if a species lacking in any sentient capabilities has been attempting, en masse, a communications break-through. In order to understand what is being conveyed, we should perhaps seek a greater understanding of the species as it exists in the wild.

The most common breed of “Man U fan” is Scummus Australis Gloria-venator (southern scum glory-hunter) to give the full name of the genus in its most prolific form, whereby parasitic colonies are to be found almost everywhere outside of the Mancunian conurbation. The more hardy rival species Urbis Rex Urbus (City, King of the City) tends to keep down the Scummus numbers in this one isolated location, but elsewhere they are prolific and they thrive particularly in the south, with unusually nasty infestations in Devon, Cornwall, the Home Counties and Milton Keynes – not to mention Singapore where their increasing numbers appear to correlate directly to an increase in reported cases ofDhobi Itch. The genus is vaguely humanoid in form, even in this most lowly class and some authorities believe it may actually be a sub-classification of Homo sapiens itself, being the result of selective breeding between males of the long-extinct “Newton Heath Man” and lower human females of the less discriminating type. This theory has gained some currency after demonstrations of the reported ability in certain Man U fans to count up to twenty, to recall events of as long ago as 1993 (but in most cases no further) and, in some cases, even to grunt simple sentences.

Whether they are really capable of original thought has been the subject of hot debate, but there appears to be very little hard evidence to support the arguments of those who say that this is indeed so. (Citations needed) Examples have certainly been given of individuals being able to make grunting noises approximating to actual speech, and some observers have claimed to detect genuine phrases such as “Biggest in the world”, “Liverpool granny-stabbers” and “We all hate Leeds scum”. It has even been suggested in certain circles that this latter manifestation may give a hint as to the existence of a rudimentary sense of irony, but this has been dismissed as fanciful by most competent authorities, who tend towards the opinion that any noises recorded when a pack of ManU fans gathers are mainly for mutual reassurance, low-level male bonding and to attract the attention of higher species in Leeds, Liverpool and North & West London.

Another area of dispute has been the way in which evolution is working where this species is concerned and, indeed, in which direction? It’s well-known and universally accepted that nearly all species, particularly the higher primates, follow a linear evolution whereby the organism tends to advance in both body and mind over an extended period. There is, however, evidence to suggest that some strains of the ManU fan have actually been formed by a process of degradation as illustrated at the head of this article; a higher species has in effect decayed to form an inferior strain; fish has become armchair. This runs contrary to the vast body of accepted knowledge in the anthropological sphere, but there is some hard evidence that some individuals of the ManU fan species have superior, albeit decayed, genetic material in their recent ancestry. It is not known how such a relatively swift and drastic deterioration may have taken place, though some theories postulate that the injection of a malign bacterium from the Govan area of Scotland may have corrupted some previously sound stock around the late 1980′s resulting in mutations in gene pools wherever this highly volatile and destructive bacterium was detected.

What seems certain is that, despite an almost complete lack of intelligence or conscious thought on an individual level, this species is able to communicate certain simple emotions when acting together, much as is the acknowledged case with lower creatures such as ants or even bees. The possibility of a “colony mind” should not lightly be dismissed and it may well be that ManU fans are able to co-operate in this manner, and that one day – maybe not for a long time – they may succeed in achieving some sort of primitive interaction, perhaps as a result of some species-wide distress or sense of grievance. For the moment, it is true, the effect is merely that of incoherent noise in a very basic and simple pattern, repeated ad nauseam without any apparent higher motive and utterly unworthy of publication or retention. The possibility of some limited increase in coherence and content cannot, however, be dismissed out of hand.

This being the case, I have undertaken to publish, on an experimental basis, more material investigating the hierarchy that operates within Football, and the extent to which this has been perverted by the advent of the ”Murdoch Syndrome” in 1992. Such material will be scrupulously researched and the findings presented in such a manner as to render them scientifically impeccable, as has ever been my intention. But given the feedback received after the Liverpool piece – diffuse and muted though it was for lack of clarity and intellectual content – efforts will also be made to monitor any increase in activity among lower orders generally and the sub-species “ManU fan” in particular. Naturally, I intend to remain accountable at every stage of this process, so I will as ever welcome comments and constructive contributions via the usual channels, though manifestations of incoherent noise and repetitive gibberish will continue to be deleted, except insofar as they may provide useful data in the context of these investigations.

Statement ends.

[MrRed]

A full list of the Manchester United squad for the 2013/14 season is as follows: De Gea Quintana, David (No) De Abreu Oliveira, Anderson Luis (No) Amos, Benjamin Paul (Yes) Carrick, Michael (Yes) Cleverley, Thomas William (Yes) Lindegaard, Anders Rozenkrantz (No) Hernandez Balcazar, Javier (No) Evans, Jonathan Grant (Yes) Evra, Patrice Latyr (No) Ferdinand, Rio Gavin (Yes) Giggs, Ryan Joseph (Yes) Almedia Da Cunha, Luis Carlos (No) Smalling, Christopher (Yes) Valencia Mosquera, Luis Antonio (No) Rooney, Wayne Mark (Yes) Vidic, Nemanja (No) Welbeck, Daniel (Yes) Young, Ashley Simon (Yes) Van Persie, Robin (No) Kagawa, Shinji (No) Pereira da Silva, Rafael (Yes) Pereira da Silva, Fabio (Yes) Buttner, Alexander (No) Fletcher, Darren Barr (Yes) Fellaini Bakkioui, Marouane (No)

Delighted to see Darren Fletcher in the squad,lets hope he is able to get back to his best form and fitness.

[Billy The Kid]

A full list of the Manchester United squad for the 2013/14 season is as follows: De Gea Quintana, David (No) De Abreu Oliveira, Anderson Luis (No) Amos, Benjamin Paul (Yes) Carrick, Michael (Yes) Cleverley, Thomas William (Yes) Lindegaard, Anders Rozenkrantz (No) Hernandez Balcazar, Javier (No) Evans, Jonathan Grant (Yes) Evra, Patrice Latyr (No) Ferdinand, Rio Gavin (Yes) Giggs, Ryan Joseph (Yes) Almedia Da Cunha, Luis Carlos (No) Smalling, Christopher (Yes) Valencia Mosquera, Luis Antonio (No) Rooney, Wayne Mark (Yes) Vidic, Nemanja (No) Welbeck, Daniel (Yes) Young, Ashley Simon (Yes) Van Persie, Robin (No) Kagawa, Shinji (No) Pereira da Silva, Rafael (Yes) Pereira da Silva, Fabio (Yes) Buttner, Alexander (No) Fletcher, Darren Barr (Yes) Fellaini Bakkioui, Marouane (No)

Delighted to see Darren Fletcher in the squad,lets hope he is able to get back to his best form and fitness.

Why No to Van Persie and De Gea.

[mrbojangles]

A full list of the Manchester United squad for the 2013/14 season is as follows: De Gea Quintana, David (No) De Abreu Oliveira, Anderson Luis (No) Amos, Benjamin Paul (Yes) Carrick, Michael (Yes) Cleverley, Thomas William (Yes) Lindegaard, Anders Rozenkrantz (No) Hernandez Balcazar, Javier (No) Evans, Jonathan Grant (Yes) Evra, Patrice Latyr (No) Ferdinand, Rio Gavin (Yes) Giggs, Ryan Joseph (Yes) Almedia Da Cunha, Luis Carlos (No) Smalling, Christopher (Yes) Valencia Mosquera, Luis Antonio (No) Rooney, Wayne Mark (Yes) Vidic, Nemanja (No) Welbeck, Daniel (Yes) Young, Ashley Simon (Yes) Van Persie, Robin (No) Kagawa, Shinji (No) Pereira da Silva, Rafael (Yes) Pereira da Silva, Fabio (Yes) Buttner, Alexander (No) Fletcher, Darren Barr (Yes) Fellaini Bakkioui, Marouane (No)

Delighted to see Darren Fletcher in the squad,lets hope he is able to get back to his best form and fitness.

Why No to Van Persie and De Gea.

Also Kagawa, Fellaini, Evra and Chicirito (or whatever he is called)