How Evil Is It To Do A Runner?

[SimonD]

Three and a half pages of responses and not a word in reply from the OP.

Maybe he's done a runner on us...?

Edited June 11, 2012 by SimonD

[robblok]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

Yeah it's amazing how far a farang's items can fly from an apartment block and how loud those little Thai women can shout. It really does become a re-enactment of those Thai soaps they watch on TV. Everyone has to know.

I think it really does depend on the girl you date. I once had a totally crazy one but after that you learn. At least the smart ones among us do.

[jackinbkk]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

I think it's also because many have the intelligence of a child and act accordingly.

[edwinclapham]

I have no plans at all to end it either (in case my beloved reads this)

[aneliane]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

Yeah it's amazing how far a farang's items can fly from an apartment block and how loud those little Thai women can shout. It really does become a re-enactment of those Thai soaps they watch on TV. Everyone has to know.

You want lolitas ?

Take the rough with the smooth.

[MrRealDeal]

It's not Evil it's just really really wussy and low class. And to assume a really really low class person is at no fault would be .............. silly

[tjhorner]

I don't know..... I think ought to man up and sit her down.... I have only read pg 1 so maybe you eluded to why the runner, but I think everyone deserves more than just a note.... Good Luck (and if you do have a face to face, hide all the knives)

[arthurwait]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

Yeah it's amazing how far a farang's items can fly from an apartment block and how loud those little Thai women can shout. It really does become a re-enactment of those Thai soaps they watch on TV. Everyone has to know.

You want lolitas ?

Take the rough with the smooth.

Have you been ?

[arthurwait]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

Many low educated, low class Thai girls whose meal ticket is walking away from them. Yes

All Thai women. No.

[aneliane]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

Many low educated, low class Thai girls whose meal ticket is walking away from them. Yes

All Thai women. No.

Yep any woman who believe her charm is all she has, would make a tantrum when left.

It's only logical since, this was the very reason (young+pretty+uneducated) she fell for you/you went for her.

[aneliane]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

Yeah it's amazing how far a farang's items can fly from an apartment block and how loud those little Thai women can shout. It really does become a re-enactment of those Thai soaps they watch on TV. Everyone has to know.

You want lolitas ?

Take the rough with the smooth.

Have you been ?

No I read Nabokov

[DavidSL]

For the poster who mentioned that many girls have been purchased in bars, I feel is presumptuous and unnecessary, and even if this is so, some of those relationships have proven to work.

That was me, and I believe if you read my post again you might pick up on a point I was trying to make. I don't for one second think everyone (but I do presume by the attitude of some that there are a few) here has a wife or girlfriend purchased from a bar. But I do see some attitudes here that reflect a resentment towards Thai women that can only be had from bad experiences. Some bad experiences may well come from 'nice, normal girls', but lets face it, we all know there are a few unsavoury characters on here prowling the bars occasionally, and I'd wager that many bad experiences also come from bad decisions that have been made by a gentleman's second brain. My comment was certainly meant to stir up outrage, that's for sure - when you've got a thread full of people saying 'seems fine to me, mate, it's your life innit and she's only gonna come at ya with a kitchen knife and kill you if you tell her to 'er face' - with absolutely NO ONE up until that point saying it's a little bit off (read: messed up), then I feel a little outrage from those people is deserved. My point is simple, bad experiences may be had for many reasons, but that's no reason to act like a wimp because you feel comparing a girlfriend to any other girl is justified. We don't know the OP's reasons, but anyone saying it is justified to run away from her without knowing any real reason for doing so is being nothing but judgemental upon an entire race of people.

Do I think you all bought your wives or girlfriends? Some of you probably did and then ran away, but that's OK in this thread, right?

[Beetlejuice]

and the last thing I want is some pissed off, deeply hurt Thai on my hands,

The OP has failed to mention whether his partner is male or female and only describes the person as a Thai. He quoted that if in Canada he would have made the effort to discuss the problem and would never had just run on his partner like that.

If this were true, than this to me would be the actions of a Jack the Lad who considers certain people as being of a lower order. Not exactly someone who I would describe as being a suitable ambassador for farang/Thai relationships.

On a scale of one to ten I would give this idiot a one for being of wrapped mind and bothering to create a thread with some BS make believe tale in the hope of gaining some reactions.

My advice to the OP is; to get himself some counselling because he appears to be in desperate need of help.

Edited June 11, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[TommoPhysicist]

For the poster who mentioned that many girls have been purchased in bars, I feel is presumptuous and unnecessary, and even if this is so, some of those relationships have proven to work.

That was me, and I believe if you read my post again you might pick up on a point I was trying to make. I don't for one second think everyone (but I do presume by the attitude of some that there are a few) here has a wife or girlfriend purchased from a bar. But I do see some attitudes here that reflect a resentment towards Thai women that can only be had from bad experiences. Some bad experiences may well come from 'nice, normal girls', but lets face it, we all know there are a few unsavoury characters on here prowling the bars occasionally, and I'd wager that many bad experiences also come from bad decisions that have been made by a gentleman's second brain. My comment was certainly meant to stir up outrage, that's for sure - when you've got a thread full of people saying 'seems fine to me, mate, it's your life innit and she's only gonna come at ya with a kitchen knife and kill you if you tell her to 'er face' - with absolutely NO ONE up until that point saying it's a little bit off (read: messed up), then I feel a little outrage from those people is deserved. My point is simple, bad experiences may be had for many reasons, but that's no reason to act like a wimp because you feel comparing a girlfriend to any other girl is justified. We don't know the OP's reasons, but anyone saying it is justified to run away from her without knowing any real reason for doing so is being nothing but judgemental upon an entire race of people.

Do I think you all bought your wives or girlfriends? Some of you probably did and then ran away, but that's OK in this thread, right?

You clearly haven't had many relationships. Things aren't really like mommy told you. Ending a relationship anywhere is messy because usually only one of the couple wants it to end. In Thailand where rule of law doesn't happen and 'suicides' of foreigners are common, ending it face to face is just plain silly.

Oh and also in Thailand, everyone buys their wife and girlfriend, usually from the lady's parents, sometimes just from her. It's the tradition, it's still widely practiced, even among educated, half-Chinese where the price is higher.

You found a girl you didn't have to buy, good for you, but it isn't the norm.

Edited June 11, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[cdnmatt]

Wow, you guys sure jumped on this thread. 5 pages already!

Really, I'd be interested in knowing why u want to do the runner.

I just can't deal with the apathy and laziness anymore, and simply can't share my life with someone like that. I guess in hindsight it's my fault for entering the relationship, but at the time I didn't know this is how it was going to turn out. I have no problem being the bread winner, but there's a difference between being taken care of, and being a leech. And I've done everything I can -- pay for & encourage various schooling, dump money into various small business ventures, help the family including their small business ventures, etc. Each and every time they totally fuc_k it up, and within a month the idea is gone to the wind with my money. And nobody seems to care in the slightest. Shrug your shoulders, say "mai bpen rai", and continue on with life being a lazy cun_t.

It's just simply not sustainable, and I can't do it any longer. I've given it three years of my life, and I think that's enough. I don't want to leave, but at the same time, can't be expected to continue down this path forever.

For example, have a huge change in financial fortunes, have to move into a tiny shithole of a room, sell the dogs off to be put into soup (boarded in the meantime of course), both of you have to live on a total of say B6000 a month, ask her to pawn her valuables, etc.

Nah, wouldn't work. We've already been piss poor together for several months, about 16 months ago. To the point where we were delaying bills, and even borrowing food off the neighbor. That's another thing that makes it tough. It's very seldom you meet people who will stick with you through the tough times like that. On the flip side, I never got any emotional support while digging us out of that hole though. All I got was, "I know you can't do it", and "I know, we'll be poor forever", and blah, blah... Of course, once several hundred thousand baht started showing up in the account monthly, the tune quickly changed.

You are a good guy, i wouldnt even let any money

Nah, gotta leave some. Won't leave much though. Maybe 100,000 at the very most, and probably not even that much. Simply because I know it doesn't matter how much I leave, it'll be gone within 2 weeks. Same with all the furniture and appliances in the house. Within two weeks everything will be gone, with nothing to show for it.

Only cowards do runners.

After being in a relationship for 3 years, she deserves it to be told to her face.

Why? What exactly is that going to accomplish? It's not like we're going to go out for a nice dinner together, express our feelings, and come to an amicable conclusion. At the end of the conversation, I'm not going to be hearing, "ok honey, I understand, thanks for the being so honest, and I hope we can remain friends". That just ain't gonna fuc_ken happen. I'd be lucky to walk away from the dinner table without a knife in my neck.

If this was Canada, sure, that's easily possible. My first marriage was quite ugly at the end, but after it all, we still remain friends, stay at each other's places when we're in the same city, and so on. Sure there's ill feelings between us, but we're both mature adults, and can put that aside while we enjoy each other's company. That just ain't gonna happen in this situation.

And it's not like I'm going to hand out my new phone number and address. I may not have been in Thailand as long as some of you, but have been here long enough to know that'd be a really stupid idea. If I break, it's for good, with no looking back, and no second guessing myself.

Edited June 11, 2012 by cdnmatt

[arthurwait]

If she and the family are leeching off you giving them more when you leave will just make them think leeching is alright and you are in the wrong.

Just walk, but end and pay up on all your contracts: house, internet, electricity etc if they are in your name.

[theblether]

If it's over it's over. If your personal safety is in question then it's a no brainer, just walk. 1 out of 10.

No. Why leave money if he feels like that?

Sounds to me more like a lack of emotional backbone.

That said he is free to leave...they are both adults with little shared responsibiliry.

Edit: Removed the stupid Sent from message. Is that part of the app? If so can it be removed??

Ahem, please note Mr Smokie I didn't make any reference to the money, I said....'Just walk'.

Just sayin'

I just think you don't give such financial condideration if you're living in fear of violent retribution.

You get out as fast as yiur little legs can xarry you...thzn stick two fingers in the air....

I agree, however I haven't picked up on the OP fearing violence, I think he's just fearing the screaming match.

I've not commented on the money as the OP hasn't opened out and told us why he feels he needs to leave money.

[theblether]

the problem is in the west u r probably not leaving someone whom you earn 10-20x more than and whose life is going to be significnatly worse without you.

i mean, for many of these girls to hook a farang and that lose him is like getting a winning lottery ticket and finding out it was fake.

maybe they could just get another farang but it seems like many thai women go crazy when they get dumped... i personally have not experienced any drama but over the years i have heard many fights in the middle of the night in my various apartment buildings and many girls threathening to kill themselves/etc.

thai women really do not seem to take well to being dumped.

Many low educated, low class Thai girls whose meal ticket is walking away from them. Yes

All Thai women. No.

Yep any woman who believe her charm is all she has, would make a tantrum when left.

It's only logical since, this was the very reason (young+pretty+uneducated) she fell for you/you went for her.

Edit, just noticed the reply from the OP.

OP I now see you fear being attacked, so just walk away. Don't be the bravest corpse in the graveyard.

As for the money, you know your wasting it anyway so why leave it? Just leave enough that she won't starve for a month then she'll have to get off her lazy ass and work.

That's a moot point though, the thread is overwhelmingly supportive of you walking away quietly. Go for it.

All the best.

Edited June 11, 2012 by theblether

[theblether]

There are plenty of good hearted and experienced people on Thaivisa. The OP has brought a scenario to us that many of us have gone through, either in Thailand or our owo country, and some of us many times.

Under no circumstances would I advise anyone to put their safety in jeopardy in Thailand. Unfortunately many Thai peorle can explode into irrational violence. Violence is not unique to Thailand however the lengths that some Thais will go to over relatively minor slights is extraordinary.

The OP has lived with this lady for 3 years, he knows by now what he is facing, and he has come here for moral support and advice. Walking away silently is obviously against his nature and possibly his upbringing, however something is nagging about the consequences of confrontation.

I always say don't fight in Thailand, I'm going to add leave your machismo and swagger at the airport. That doesn't mean leave your self respect and ability to defend yourself, but it does mean always look for the way out of a potentially violent confrontation.

Safety first, it's as simple as that. Far too many people have taken second prizes in Thailand. Youtube will show you a few examples.

The OP has stated he has had enough, and that he fears a violent outcome. I say just walk, from what I can see the majority of members say just walk, and OP, far from being a coward, it shows that you are a sensible thoughtful man.

Only a fool would rush into an unnecessary and avoidable confrontation in Thailand.

Edited June 11, 2012 by Maestro
Deleted part of post that was in reply to deleted post.

[Beetlejuice]

Only cowards do runners.

After being in a relationship for 3 years, she deserves it to be told to her face.

Why? What exactly is that going to accomplish? It's not like we're going to go out for a nice dinner together, express our feelings, and come to an amicable conclusion. At the end of the conversation, I'm not going to be hearing, "ok honey, I understand, thanks for the being so honest, and I hope we can remain friends". That just ain't gonna fuc_ken happen. I'd be lucky to walk away from the dinner table without a knife in my neck.

If this was Canada, sure, that's easily possible. My first marriage was quite ugly at the end, but after it all, we still remain friends, stay at each other's places when we're in the same city, and so on. Sure there's ill feelings between us, but we're both mature adults, and can put that aside while we enjoy each other's company. That just ain't gonna happen in this situation.

And it's not like I'm going to hand out my new phone number and address. I may not have been in Thailand as long as some of you, but have been here long enough to know that'd be a really stupid idea. If I break, it's for good, with no looking back, and no second guessing myself.

But you’re not a mature adult.

A mature person would try and discuss any problems you are having regarding this relationship with your partner and if you consider that the message is not getting through, than you lay it on the line rather than leaving your partner high and dry wondering <deleted> is happening? And if the feelings of you and your partner are mutual, than you have nothing to lose by facing up to the situation together. Maybe this is what you fear, that your partner won`t give a rat`s behind if you stay or go and this will hurt your manly pride.

Perhaps these people are just simple folk and just take life as it comes. You must have realised that fact when you first decided to get involved with this person and the family, so what actually did you expect to gain from this relationship? Did you believe that your partner was going to tune in to your mode of thought and fall conveniently into your standards over night?

If running away without any consideration for the feelings of your partner, than you are acting like a big kid who has not been able to get his own way and remember, what goes around, comes around. You may escape your partner, but you’re never escape from yourself.

Edited June 11, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[473geo]

I've used both methods, face to face, and just walking away, truth is whatever suits you, because either way it has come to an end.

You can try and soften the blow, but it does not really work, and trying to be kind can just drag everything out, it is hard to cut the ties in a long term relationship, but to hang around and try to discuss/explain may give the impression you still care, offer a little hope where there is none, that can work out being much more cruel than just leaving.

[David48]

Don’t Crucify Your Mind ...

[Beetlejuice]

I've used both methods, face to face, and just walking away, truth is whatever suits you, because either way it has come to an end.

You can try and soften the blow, but it does not really work, and trying to be kind can just drag everything out, it is hard to cut the ties in a long term relationship, but to hang around and try to discuss/explain may give the impression you still care, offer a little hope where there is none, that can work out being much more cruel than just leaving.

In life we sometimes have to face up to things, however much unpleasant it may be to bring things to a conclusion. There will probably be tears, but that`s how it is, there is no easy get out clauses when it involves relationships with people.

Trying to avoid the issue by running away never solves anything. I have also been in relationships with women that for one reason or another had no chance of working out. I have been blown out by women (excuse the pun) and vice versa, but have always been upfront and honest and faced the situation head on. At least my ex girlfriends and myself were made aware that there was a problem and I was grateful for that, rather than just being left in the dark wondering why, for the rest of my life.

I was once told, that always part company with a mutual understanding to avoid hassles in the future and always leave doors open for you just in case you want to return with no ill feelings.

If the OP believes that confronting his partner head on may put his safety at risk, than that’s another story, but otherwise a man has to do what a man has to do, providing it`s done properly and with compassion.

Edited June 11, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[Beetlejuice]

Don’t Crucify Your Mind ...

[media=]

[/media]

So the answer is; that if you smoke and wear weird hats and 1940s suits, than gorgeous young girls will hastily throw off their clothes and run around naked on rocks for you.

Does anybody know where I can buy a trilby hat in Chiang Mai? I`ll see if that works and worry about the suit later on.

[473geo]

I've used both methods, face to face, and just walking away, truth is whatever suits you, because either way it has come to an end.

You can try and soften the blow, but it does not really work, and trying to be kind can just drag everything out, it is hard to cut the ties in a long term relationship, but to hang around and try to discuss/explain may give the impression you still care, offer a little hope where there is none, that can work out being much more cruel than just leaving.

In life we sometimes have to face up to things, however much unpleasant it may be to bring things to a conclusion. There will probably be tears, but that`s how it is, there is no easy get out clauses when it involves relationships with people.

Trying to avoid the issue by running away never solves anything. I have also been in relationships with women that for one reason or another had no chance of working out. I have been blown out by women (excuse the pun) and vice versa, but have always been upfront and honest and faced the situation head on. At least my ex girlfriends and myself were made aware that there was a problem and I was grateful for that, rather than just being left in the dark wondering why, for the rest of my life.

I was once told, that always part company with a mutual understanding to avoid hassles in the future and always leave doors open for you just in case you want to return with no ill feelings.

If the OP believes that confronting his partner head on may put his safety at risk, than that’s another story, but otherwise a man has to do what a man has to do, providing it`s done properly and with compassion.

I believe the 'leaving the door open' scenario when you have no intention of ever walking through it again is a very cruel painful half hearted option, a man is not doing what a man must do, the man must be kind in the fact that he leaves no doubt, we are talking ending here, and if walking out leaves no doubt it is a kinder way than your half hearted effort. Also give it a bit of thought, how many long term relationships that come to an end are unexplainable or not understandable to the people concerned, if they are truly honest. The signs are usually there if you look for them. As I have said if one partner is in denial, hanging around, trying to soften the blow may send out the wrong signal and cause much more suffering for all concerned.

I do accept that there will of course be situations where there were no signs and one partner may be devastated, but I think these would be in the minority

Edited June 11, 2012 by 473geo

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Maybe true, but the place is rented.

I would speak to the landlord about paying off the contract and arranging it so you can get back the goods once she is evicted.

Crazy stupid - get no one else involved, any furniture etc is part of the settlement that's all.

I just can't deal with the apathy and laziness anymore, and simply can't share my life with someone like that. I guess in hindsight it's my fault for entering the relationship, but at the time I didn't know this is how it was going to turn out. I have no problem being the bread winner, but there's a difference between being taken care of, and being a leech. And I've done everything I can -- pay for & encourage various schooling, dump money into various small business ventures, help the family including their small business ventures, etc. Each and every time they totally fuc_k it up, and within a month the idea is gone to the wind with my money. And nobody seems to care in the slightest. Shrug your shoulders, say "mai bpen rai", and continue on with life being a lazy cun_t.

It's just simply not sustainable, and I can't do it any longer. I've given it three years of my life, and I think that's enough. I don't want to leave, but at the same time, can't be expected to continue down this path forever.

You are a good guy, i wouldnt even let any money

Nah, gotta leave some. Won't leave much though. Maybe 100,000 at the very most, and probably not even that much. Simply because I know it doesn't matter how much I leave, it'll be gone within 2 weeks. Same with all the furniture and appliances in the house. Within two weeks everything will be gone, with nothing to show for it.

Only cowards do runners.

After being in a relationship for 3 years, she deserves it to be told to her face.

Why? What exactly is that going to accomplish? It's not like we're going to go out for a nice dinner together, express our feelings, and come to an amicable conclusion. At the end of the conversation, I'm not going to be hearing, "ok honey, I understand, thanks for the being so honest, and I hope we can remain friends". That just ain't gonna fuc_ken happen. I'd be lucky to walk away from the dinner table without a knife in my neck.

If this was Canada, sure, that's easily possible. My first marriage was quite ugly at the end, but after it all, we still remain friends, stay at each other's places when we're in the same city, and so on. Sure there's ill feelings between us, but we're both mature adults, and can put that aside while we enjoy each other's company. That just ain't gonna happen in this situation.

And it's not like I'm going to hand out my new phone number and address. I may not have been in Thailand as long as some of you, but have been here long enough to know that'd be a really stupid idea. If I break, it's for good, with no looking back, and no second guessing myself.

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

I admire your leaving some money for her, believe me if you think 100K is a little she won't many unskilled Thais live on that for a full year.

I also don't see it as your showing guilt for being a bad man, just being kind to someone who's given you three years of her life.

No problems at all with the ethics side there either.

She's a big girl, she'll get over it if you make a clean break - make sure she understands there's no chance of your coming back.

And don't go somewhere she can find you, maybe a holiday to Cambodia for a few weeks and then settle in a completely different area, don't hang out in the same bars etc - beware if she knows where you work.

Good luck!

[Soutpeel]

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

Exactly....and while we are on about it...which is more cowardly ?

Being in a relationship which is shot to sh*t and actually facing the the reality having the courage to do something about ie walk out

or

Being in a relationship which is shot to sh*t, not facing the reality and not having the courage to do something about it....ie putting up the sh*t

It appears to me the OP has made the harder decision in this case, and suspect there are many similar realtionships to the OP's in Thailand and one or both partners dont have the "courage" to do something about things

so one should be careful before shouting someone is being cowardly as this could be looked at in multiple ways

[payak]

i will give a thai answer, not my problem.

[BookMan]

Well, with that further info you have given...

Sounds like you are there for your cash, and doesn't sound like there is any love left. You are leaving some money and all the possessions.

There is no need to have a confrontation if everything has gone to the dogs, so to speak.

I know a lot of people advocate a face-to-face creak up (3 year is a reasonable amount of time), but if you feel you are being used in the relationship, and there is no love left in it anymore, and you are likely as not to cop a knife or some flying heavy objects, why not?

Based on the avail info above I would probably give you a 3 on the asshol_e scale. The degree of you being an asshol_e is very low. Any break up situation has to make the scale somewhere

[geriatrickid]

0 on the scale.

Anyone that makes sure not to abandon the dogs is alright in my books.