How Difficult Is It To Return Home With Kids ?

[JimmyTheMook]

Any folks out there who had lived in Thailand for a number of years with kids , who were fully settled in w/o a residence in their country of origin , decide to pick up and leave ?

How hard / smooth was the transition ?

Was is for the better in your opinion , or did you just see the grass as being greener on the other side of the fence ?

Edited June 11, 2012 by JimmyTheMook

[pipo1000]

The grass is ALWAYS greener at the other side of the fence.

[harrry]

Depends on the age of the kids..if they are young teenagers they may feel you have broken up their life. Settling in a new country is little problem if the kids are really young..from 13 up you have problems.

[TommoPhysicist]

If the kids are yours and young, returning to the UK (without the mother) makes you quids in.

Immediate emergency housing, council house, social security, child benefit.

A pal of mind did it last year, told the council he ran out of money in Thailand so the UK & Thai immigration had made him a single parent family, as he couldn't support his Thai wife in the UK and had no money for married person extension of stay in Thailand.

Edited June 11, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[billd766]

To be really honest I love my son deeply but I would far rather leave him in Thailand with his Mum and the family than take him to a strange country that he has never been to in his life, where he will know nobody but his Dad, will only be able to speak a little of the language, won't be able to get the food and comforts he has been used to.

It wouldn't be fair to him or me let alone his Mum.

Not that I have any plans to do so at least in this life.

[dighambara]

To be really honest I love my son deeply but I would far rather leave him in Thailand with his Mum and the family than take him to a strange country that he has never been to in his life, where he will know nobody but his Dad, will only be able to speak a little of the language, won't be able to get the food and comforts he has been used to.

It wouldn't be fair to him or me let alone his Mum.

Not that I have any plans to do so at least in this life.

Personally, I am puzzled with that comment. My daughters are age 7 & 5 and both speak Thai and English - kid style...

Having a foreign parent who occasionally speaks English and a little at school, they pick up new words every day.

It is my plan for them to spend a summer in the states when they are around age 10.

[bkk_mike]

I have one in the UK now at school, and another going back this year, then as a family we'll be heading back probably April/May next year (assuming I've sold my flat in London by then as I'm currently exempt from Capital Gains tax).

However, the kids went to International school while in Thailand, so there was no problem switching to a UK school. And they've been back in the summer and occasionally at Christmas over the years, so nothing came as a surprise. (My wife had to travel back often enough, and for long enough to not be classed as simply a holiday to keep her ILR valid, so we tended to go as a family).

[Gimbo]

I took my wife and stepsons from Thailand to Norway 3 years ago. Mainly becouse I needed an income. It was never really the plan to settle for good in Thai at that stage. But spend close to 3 year in Thailand. First in and out, then more settled when i married the boys mother.

Anyway, the transition is difficult. The younger has had it easy, as he is quite out going and imediatelty found friends. In fact our hosue is normaly swamped with kids becosue of him :-)

His older bother has more problems with that, but he was more of a loner in Thailand as well. But he joined the local youth chapter of the Red Cross, and seem to be okay socially too.

For school, now that is different. Coming from a Khmer speaking village in a Lao dominated area of Isaan, the boys where tri-lingual. Then coming to Norway, they had to learn Norwegian as well as Englsih (cumpulsory in Norwegian schools) as well. They now speak 5 languages!

For the younger one this has been no problem. He took to it like a duck to water. And now speak the language with my home towns accent, wit the odd grammar mistake, for sure, but more or less fluent.

The older boy started 9th grade here. And only had 2 years to learn the language before he was supposed to start high school. But that is to short a time to learn the language, history and culture of a foregn country to be able to study with good results. So he is taking a couple of years extra. But he got a good head on his shoulders and have good grades, so I don't worry to much.

Else both boys have embraced Norway, and loves skiing, snow boarding, going on hikes, fishing etc. And I think they are coping very well. And they have contact back to their old life trough practically free calls home to thailand via IP phone. Also we spent probably 6 months preparing them for the move.

But be prapared to support them a lot, specially with school work. The younger one of ours had to start to learn to read and write from scracth, as he had barely started learning the latin alphabet in his village school.

Anyway, We are quite confident that me made the right choice, as I would not afford a good school for them in Thailand, while here in Norway, I'll be able to see them both through university, thanks to all of that being free here... :-)

[tommych]

I lived with my wife and her 2 children for 5 years in Thailand. We decided to move back to the uk 5 years ago when her kids were 13 & 17.

Both have settled in very well, both are going to college & love the opportunities that the uk has to offer. Obviously learning to speak English took some time but there's lots of courses and extra help available from school and local authorities. Both of them have no intention of going back to Thailand to live as they have made many friends here and like the lifestyle.

[bobrussell]

My daughter spoke very basic English (I am ashamed to say) despite all the English lessons I could arrange over the years because the household in Thailand was almost entirely Thai speaking. She loved school from day one (it was a holiday camp compared to her private Thai school) and she settled and did well from the start.

As she enters her teens I would cheerfully send her back on a one way ticket. As British as they come now (Lush, LOL, cool, whatever etc etc) and a pain in the b*m.