Need Urgent Advice

[Dobbie]

I seem to have gotten a local girl preggers. We had a one night stand three months ago and she just called me late last night with the news. I am 58 years old, retired, and divorced with 5 grown children. Honestly I don't want anymore children. She and I have no relationship or feelings toward each other, it was just for one night that's it. I cautiously brought up the topic of abortion and she said she would be willing except that it is illegal in Thailand. Given the sex industry in this country, I highly doubt we are the only ones facing this problem. I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice. It is quite urgent because she is nearing the end of the first trimester.

[Old Croc]

I seem to have gotten a local girl preggers. We had a one night stand three months ago and she just called me late last night with the news. I am 58 years old, retired, and divorced with 5 grown children. Honestly I don't want anymore children. She and I have no relationship or feelings toward each other, it was just for one night that's it. I cautiously brought up the topic of abortion and she said she would be willing except that it is illegal in Thailand. Given the sex industry in this country, I highly doubt we are the only ones facing this problem. I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice. It is quite urgent because she is nearing the end of the first trimester.

58 years old, got a girl preggers. stand by for a torrent of abuse from the holier than thous on this forum mate.

[udon]

Do you have any proof that you are the Papa to be, or just her word?

[Ulysses G.]

I seem to have gotten a local girl preggers. We had a one night stand three months ago and she just called me late last night with the news. I am 58 years old, retired, and divorced with 5 grown children. Honestly I don't want anymore children. She and I have no relationship or feelings toward each other, it was just for one night that's it. I cautiously brought up the topic of abortion and she said she would be willing except that it is illegal in Thailand. Given the sex industry in this country, I highly doubt we are the only ones facing this problem. I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice. It is quite urgent because she is nearing the end of the first trimester.

Did you pay for sex? If so, you owe her nothing and the whole thing is probably a set-up (unless she warned you that she had no protection.

However, if this isn't the case, or you took advantage of her in some manner, I would offer to pay for an abortion and make her understand that she is getting nothing else from you under any circumstances.

Wrap your weenie next time!

[Dobbie]

No, just her word. Although when I asked that question, she insisted I go with her to her OBGYN to discuss a paternity test

Did you pay for sex? If so, you owe her nothing and the whole thing is probably a set-up (unless she warned you that she had no protection.

However, if this isn't the case, or you took advantage of her in some manner, I would offer to pay for an abortion and make her understand that she is getting nothing else from you under any circumstances.

Wrap your weenie next time!

No I didn't. I met her at a friend's office party. She works there as an executive secretary to the MD. We were both smashed by the end of the night and shared a taxi home. I am willing to pay for the abortion but she insists that it can't be performed legally here. Is this true?

What she is basically asking from me is to find a place where she can get an abortion. If not, she is expecting me to support the child financially after a paternity test confirms that I am the father.

[Ulysses G.]

I am willing to pay for the abortion but she insists that it can't be performed legally here. Is this true?

Yes, but who cares?

Prostitution is against the "law" too, but no one seems very concerned, now do they?

From what I've read and seen, finding a clinic should be no problem.

Edited January 7, 2006 by Ulysses G.

[gburns57au]

Yes it is illegal...and it is against the Buddhist belief also.

No point asking for advice here as all you will get is a lot of posts telling you what you know already......

You will have to sort this out on your own.

[caledonia]

Not sure about the legalityof abortion but surely is the best bet here!

Paternity test you will no doubthave to pay for but well if you choose to have unprotected sex what can you expect? Sorry if that is harsh but in this day and age are folk seriously still having unproteced sex with folk they just met!!!! I'm thinking if she is happy to have sex with one guy unprotected you may not be the only candidate for daddy - you are maybe just the most lucrative in her eyes!!

[Ulysses G.]

Never do it with a "good girl" in Thailand unless you want to marry her!

[caledonia]

Never do it with a "good girl" in Thailand unless you want to marry her!

Well she can't be that good a girl if she has managed to get preganat by some random she just meant!! Just because she has a good job in a respectable company does not mean she is a good girl - at least not in the safer sex department!!

[Ulysses G.]

Never do it with a "good girl" in Thailand unless you want to marry her!

Well she can't be that good a girl if she has managed to get preganat by some random she just meant!! Just because she has a good job in a respectable company does not mean she is a good girl - at least not in the safer sex department!!

I put "good girl" in parenthesis to show that I wasn't entirely comfortable calling her that, however, many people consider anyone who isn't an out-and-out hooker to be a "good girl" in this part of the world.

When it comes to free sex, it is better to assume that they might be.

[sriracha john]

In accordance with Thai Law, you can look forward to providing child support, based upon your assests and income, until the child reaches the age of 18.

Good luck to you.

[Mighty Mouse]

She works there as an executive secretary to the MD. We were both smashed by the end of the night and shared a taxi home.

I have a suspicious mind.

Is the relationship between the secretary and the Managing Director more than just a working relationship?

Did the taxi driver hang around after he drove you both home and perhaps sneaked into the bedroom after you fell into a drunken sleep?

If you can't prove paternity and if you are a good looking guy and she a very pretty girl, then you are about to bring another mixed race movie star into the Thai world....or perhaps another Tiger Woods sporting star.

It's amazing how a teaspoon full of sperm can change people's lives.

[stevo]

My God man! Always always always use a freaking condom!

[Ulysses G.]

I have a suspicious mind.

Did the taxi driver hang around after he drove you both home and perhaps sneaked into the bedroom after you fell into a drunken sleep?

Maybe a little warped too!

[aughie]

You should be on a Malasian forum.

[markuk]

I seem to have gotten a local girl preggers. We had a one night stand three months ago and she just called me late last night with the news. I am 58 years old, retired, and divorced with 5 grown children. Honestly I don't want anymore children. She and I have no relationship or feelings toward each other, it was just for one night that's it. I cautiously brought up the topic of abortion and she said she would be willing except that it is illegal in Thailand. Given the sex industry in this country, I highly doubt we are the only ones facing this problem. I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice. It is quite urgent because she is nearing the end of the first trimester.

Are you living in Thailand? if not then that could have an impact on your decision

[traveldog]

Doobie,

It is illegal true....but you can find a willing doctor, you must do the leg work. I do not know what part of Thailand you are in but go to OB/Gyns and ask around with your friend until you find one. My friend had a similar situation here and had to go to a rural clinic off Phuket island, and in fact was referred there by a Phuket MD. Good Luck.

[leisurely]

You dafty. There really is no excuse for what happened. Drink is irrelevant. I have to say though, she is up the duff let her do the leg work and you do the wallet work.

[lostsoul]

58 years old and 5 children, do as I say not as I do, heard of condoms you silly old git. Heard of HIV you silly old git.

Do you consider yourself a responsible person?

Told you MD of your behaviour?

Silly old git.

[smacko]

okay so he made a bad choice by not wearing a condom, he knows that know as the girl is pregnant.

all of you people having a go at the OP about not wearing a condom, you've never ever had a slip up?? these things happen, we're only human. it's how you deal with the issue after the fact that matters

Edited January 12, 2006 by smacko

[Nam Kao]

OP get an HIV test, your other problem may be mute

if she is spreading them for you with no condom she is doing same same mak

or she sees a farang with money, hmmm he give me baby i can quit job and live like queen

[stickman]

There is a well-known abortion clinic on Sukhumvit Soi 12 in the building just before Cabbages and Condoms, if you’re walking from the main Sukhumvit Road. I cannot remember the name of the place but it is something like “People’s Population Control Centre”.

The cost of the an abortion there is 2,000 baht.

There can be a lot of girls in there and most of them seem to come from a “poorer background” so an executive secretary might not be entirely comfortable.

On Ramkhamhaeng Road there are a few abortion clinics but you would need to have someone who knows the area take you there to one of them as they do NOT say abortion clinic on the outside and for the uninitiated you’d never know.

A number of hospitals will do abortions, and others which may not do them on the premises will give referrals to abortion clinics.

I hope this helps.

Stick

[Patsycat]

"Peoples Population Control Centre" ????

[ThaiPauly]

Good advice SM, which I hope the OP will heed.

Ironic though that the clinic is close to "Cabbages and CONDOMS" though

One other thing. I did not think that there was such a thing as "Child Maintainence" in Thailand. If the OP was nasty enough he COULD just walk away.

Oh and one more thing is I am amazed at his sexual prowess, when I am slaughtered there is no way I can perform any other act than falling down or sleeping/passing out, and I am many years his junior and I know this to be the case with many Men in my age group.Unless of course he used some kind of stimulent !!

Good Luck to him anyway, why oh why do we see so many threads like this???

It is such a shame for all concerned.

[sriracha john]

One other thing. I did not think that there was such a thing as "Child Maintainence" in Thailand. If the OP was nasty enough he COULD just walk away.

Published on May 31, 2005

The Central Juvenile and Family Court yesterday ordered former minister Tawich Klinpratoom to register a two-year-old boy as his legitimate son and pay the boy’s mother Bt40,000 a month in child support.

The payments must continue until the boy, Tawee Pornsri, turns 20 years old.

Most other cases I've seen state 18 as the age that payments stop...

so let's see, as an example.... 40K/month x 12 months x 18 years = 8,640,000 baht

A rather expensive moment of recklessness...

as stated previously to OP.....

good luck

and perhaps you could set up some type of automated electronic payments to her... save on stamps

Edited January 13, 2006 by sriracha john

[p_brownstone]

I believe the chances of a 58 year old man impregnating a girl after a single sexual contact would be extremely slim.

Get a Paternity Test done before you do anything else.

Patrick

[udon]

Ok, Dobbie needs more info, not "advice".

1) Where can he get a paternity test done in the LOS.

2) Where can he get medical assistance for his friend.

In 2 pages only one person has tried to answer him.

thanks

ooodon

[Ulysses G.]

I believe the chances of a 58 year old man impregnating a girl after a single sexual contact would be extremely slim.

Insolent, young whipper-snappers!

[rcalsop]

Ok, Dobbie needs more info, not "advice".

1) Where can he get a paternity test done in the LOS.

2) Where can he get medical assistance for his friend.

In 2 pages only one person has tried to answer him.

thanks

ooodon

In countries where abortion is illegal or difficult do not discuss it as such it is an MR problem or a D&C .

MR is a menstrual regulation proceedure .

D&C is dilation and curettation sorry about the spelling .

I hope you understand the subtle difference .. lots of MR`s are done in Muslim cultures.

Sounds like you should pay !!!do not do it super cheap because if any thing goes wrong and it can

you will be in a worse situation with potential criminal proceedures ..I speak from experience of a friend with a similar issue in Morocco . and from having a team of 12 doctors who reported to me at work who dealt with lots of bad cheap abortions and had to redo MR`s in Bangladesh over 10 a week .