Going Home

[ikbenhet]

I'm very sorry to read of your troubles, Murgatroyd, I really admire what you've done helping your wife through sickness and supporting your step-daughter and wish you all the best. I can relate to your predicament as I have Thai step-kids and it sounds to me like you were endeavoring to afford your wife the best care and your daughter some good education - acts of kindness for which you should feel immense pride. I think all the Brits on this forum will acknowledge your sound advice about how valuable free UK health-care and schooling can seem when they leave it behind. Best of luck and I'm sure you'll be back on top in no time!

There is no such thing as free healthcare or schooling.

[deepsea149]

My goodness, this is one of the most captivating post I have read since joining this forum! I was going through the pages as if I were reading a novel!

To the OP.... thank you for the post, keep us informed, and the best of luck to you and your family. Absolutely loved the honesty in the original post (and follow up posts) and most of the replies by others - not all of them.

[ikbenhet]

Hello lounger,

It's precisely because I want to secure my future together with my wife and stepdaughter that I'm going home to work my way out of this fix. What on earth would be the point of staying here and going broke in five years... and then having to leave anyway and having nothing to give my wife to support her?

It will hurt very much to be parted from my wife, but we will talk and communicate regularly. I am certainly not dumping her. I hope to be able to return before too long and then have a happy future with my family.

My capitol, such as it is is invested in bonds that won't mature for another three years. It will then have to be invested again, as it wouldn't last more than five years or so if I tried to live on it. The last thing I want to do is to get involved with any "get rich quick" financial advisers who would probably try to have me put my money in a scheme that will at worst gain them a healthy commission and at best, (From their point of view), dissolve into their accounts! The endless stories of people getting scammed by their financial advisers and losing what little they have left when they are trying to repair the damage tend to inspire a lack of trust... and I'd trust someone who wanted to get their hands on my investments under the guise of doing me a favor about as far as I could throw them. If a man tells me that he wants to put me onto a good thing, out of the goodness of his heart and perhaps a small commission and a handlers fee, I instinctively feel that they don't have my best interests at heart.

As for moving all my money over to Thailand, I have a similar lack of trust about moving all my resources to a country that will never allow me to be a citizen and can deport me at a whim, or change the rules and confiscate my assets.

Could it not be so that in five years you would find something here in Thailand to make money?

Is Thailand without any possibilities for you to work? What kind of work will you be doing in the UK?

Edited June 23, 2012 by ikbenhet

[reenatinnakor]

Thanks again to those who have posted messages of support. I really appreciate your encouragement.

There seems to be some confusion in certain posters mind over this figure of a monthly budget of 120K Baht. This would represent wealth beyond the dreams of avarice!

This figure was posted by someone else.

My income has dropped below 40K per month, I'm not going to go into my exact budget or what it's spent on each month, just to say that it has become insufficient.

I'd also like to thank the Mods for tidying up the thread and for deleting posts that are not relevant.

I must be the 1st to apologise then! I thought it was your numbers. Will have to read more carefully the thread. But yes 40k is impossible to survive on in Thailand with a wife and kids, I don't care what anyone says, it's just impossible!!.....good luck in England. Hope you come back soon.

But 120k a month? Is the person who posted that Bill Gates or something??

[Soutpeel]

But 120k a month? Is the person who posted that Bill Gates or something??

.....120k/m is not a great deal on money these days to live in Thailand, and note I use the word "live"...not "survive"...

Factor in kids in decent school, decent car, decent place to live etc...

[transam]

The only problem l can see is if you understand how expensive it is to live in the UK and try and accumulate some cash. I went back a few years back whilst mum departed and was shocked.

[Murgatroyd]

Hello ikbenhet,

I'm afraid that I have no qualifications to work in Thailand. I spent most of my working life in retail or the service industry before moving into security. My understanding is that a Farang cannot (legally) obtain a work permit if the work they do can just as well be done by a Thai person.

I'll be going back into security, and working 12 hour night shifts, and as many of them as I can get.

Yes, I understand only too well how expensive it is to live in the UK on poor wages... I did it until I was fifty. The only way of accumulating cash is to live very carefully.

Edited June 23, 2012 by Murgatroyd

[transam]

But 120k a month? Is the person who posted that Bill Gates or something??

.....120k/m is not a great deal on money these days to live in Thailand, and note I use the word "live"...not "survive"...

Factor in kids in decent school, decent car, decent place to live etc...

I work that out at 600 UK pounds a week. COME ON, 600 quid a week in LOS.

OK, you want a Merc, you want servants, you want private tutors.

[bobbysan124]

Bravo for having the confidence for coming on here and telling it straight.

Ditto. Wish you the best success, while wiling away your UK working days with pleasant Thailand dreams.

This September I will have been in Thailand 5 years, but have accepted a job in my field in Canada, and also will be leaving Thailand. I do so because at Thai Farang wages I can not properly provide for my teenage son as a single parent. It's the right thing we do.

All the best!

Good luck to you. Hope you and your family will not have to be separated for too long.

[Soutpeel]

But 120k a month? Is the person who posted that Bill Gates or something??

.....120k/m is not a great deal on money these days to live in Thailand, and note I use the word "live"...not "survive"...

Factor in kids in decent school, decent car, decent place to live etc...

I work that out at 600 UK pounds a week. COME ON, 600 quid a week in LOS.

OK, you want a Merc, you want servants, you want private tutors.

Mate...you normally provide very sensible posts, so I am not going to make a smart arsed retort..

I can assure you 120k/m in Thailand does not get you a Merc, maid yes..but certainly not private tutors...The last time I worked in the UK which was many many years ago and doing 500 quid a week then and it didnt go very far then even with free schooling/free medical etc

[transam]

But 120k a month? Is the person who posted that Bill Gates or something??

.....120k/m is not a great deal on money these days to live in Thailand, and note I use the word "live"...not "survive"...

Factor in kids in decent school, decent car, decent place to live etc...

I work that out at 600 UK pounds a week. COME ON, 600 quid a week in LOS.

OK, you want a Merc, you want servants, you want private tutors.

Mate...you normally provide very sensible posts, so I am not going to make a smart arsed retort..

I can assure you 120k/m in Thailand does not get you a Merc, maid yes..but certainly not private tutors...The last time I worked in the UK which was many many years ago and doing 500 quid a week then and it didnt go very far then even with free schooling/free medical etc

This is LOS. Do you know an ordinary Thai joe that has a motor, house, kids go to good school and have 120,000bht a month income. I don't.

[AnandaSatvha]

No, I'm afraid it's a matter of my income falling below the figure required to qualify for an extension of permission to stay. I know that there are some ways round this but if I stay in Thailand I would be entirely broke in about five years... better to bite the bullet and do something practical about it now whilst I still have options rather than stick my head in the sand and join the condo diving club in five years time. Thanks anyway.

Ever tried learning Thai in the 4 years you've been here?

[transam]

No, I'm afraid it's a matter of my income falling below the figure required to qualify for an extension of permission to stay. I know that there are some ways round this but if I stay in Thailand I would be entirely broke in about five years... better to bite the bullet and do something practical about it now whilst I still have options rather than stick my head in the sand and join the condo diving club in five years time. Thanks anyway.

Ever tried learning Thai in the 4 years you've been here?

I've been here longer and l can't speak it , they all laugh if l try, even the mrs.

[Murgatroyd]

Yes, I tried but I'm dreadful with languages. I can speak a few phrases, enough to get around and be polite, but I'll never understand more than a very little of what I hear.

My wife has learned very good English though.

However I don't really see how that's relevant to my situation.

[Soutpeel]

This is LOS. Do you know an ordinary Thai joe that has a motor, house, kids go to good school and have 120,000bht a month income. I don't.

Yes I do, quite a few..... actually I have 3 Thai lads working directly for me who makes over 180-190k/m clear, and i also know some Thai guys are clearing in the 300-400k/m catagory as well...ok maybe not the "ordinary Thai joes" as you call them, but you would be suprised what some of the guys earn...granted they are not rice farmers living in Isaan

[transam]

This is LOS. Do you know an ordinary Thai joe that has a motor, house, kids go to good school and have 120,000bht a month income. I don't.

Yes I do, quite a few..... actually I have 3 Thai lads working directly for me who makes over 180-190k/m clear, and i also know some Thai guys are clearing in the 300-400k/m catagory as well...ok maybe not the "ordinary Thai joes" as you call them, but you would be suprised what some of the guys earn...granted they are not rice farmers living in Isaan

Hmmmmm, l need a job like that.

[AnandaSatvha]

No, I'm afraid it's a matter of my income falling below the figure required to qualify for an extension of permission to stay. I know that there are some ways round this but if I stay in Thailand I would be entirely broke in about five years... better to bite the bullet and do something practical about it now whilst I still have options rather than stick my head in the sand and join the condo diving club in five years time. Thanks anyway.

Ever tried learning Thai in the 4 years you've been here?

I've been here longer and l can't speak it , they all laugh if l try, even the mrs.

Don't let the haters bring you down friend. I empathize with you and hope you can make more money at home and send it back to THailand to help your family. I'm having a similar dilemma and have MUCH LESS money than you do!

[cbc]

120 thousand a month wow!Expensive living.If his wife is thai,why not buy a house and i am sure mortgage payment would not be 30 thousand a month.Maybe 10 at the most.That would free up 20 thousand alone.

[osiboy]

Thanks Rsquared... Yes, my advice would be to shoulder the expense of comprehensive medical insurance for yourself and your family. I didn't and regretted it. Apart from that it's important to remember that if a person intends to live like a westerner in Thailand, drinking a familiar beer, using the air con in the evening and at night and eating western style food your living expenses won't be nearly as low as you think, and even if you don't play around with the girls a night out for a beer or several once a week or so will also add considerably to your living costs. Family and parenting adds greatly to these expenses with school fees, uniforms, school buses, extra lessons and even musical instruments to factor in!

Also don't forget things like dental care, vet's costs if you get a pet, Taxis everywhere if you don't drive and vehicle expenses if you do... finally don't forget the cost of home and contents insurance if you don't want to get home to a ransacked home.

Yes, over the last 3 years I have started taking out comprehensive medical care for myself and my 2 daughters, it aint cheap at around 2.5k USD per year but it gives me a hell of a lot less to worry about. There are a lot of people here are one serious accident/illness away from a world of nightmares, I do NOT want to end up there.

As for general expenses, Thailand is no longer cheap (if you actually want to 'live' and not exist that is) I cannot get by on less than 120k a month.

Best of luck in the UK, you never know you may even end up enjoying it! I woild like to be back now to watch the football properly.

120,000bht a month , Sounds like perhaps you need a new lady.

whoa ! i dont spend that much living in the uk , and when i stay in thailand , i get by on half that , though food is about the same cost in thai,and buying a car about 4 times the cost, the price of renting or buying {as long as its not phuket/bkk}is much cheaper and with low energy costs and cheap fuel and no council tax & low taxes to counter act the negs it sounds too much to me , ........have you got a few mear noi's or do you live in a palace ? i think i live well when im in thai , and usually spend around 50,000 pm , keeping the wife in food {every hour } and me on the pop 3 times pw !, i hsition ave some sympathy with you mate , but i will never be in a position of affording a lifestyle costing 120,000 pm , im sure there must be ways to live on arond 75 ,000 even with a kid , a thai couple in your position would be considered very lucky and middle class at min, my god you can build a home in isaan for 4 months of your outgoings, , i cant help but think you need to reasses your budget , would it not be better to down scale your lifestyle than break up your family indefinetely ? , whatever you do anyway , good luck . Edited June 23, 2012 by osiboy

[MJP]

My travel and shipping arrangements have now been made, I'll be leaving mid July. Thanks again for all your help and encouragement. I'll continue to post on the board and try and keep in touch with what's going on in Thailand.

I can only repeat: I wish you and your family the best of luck.

You have made a decision for the best of your family, and now you are acting on it. Maybe, the faster the better, everything else just prolongs the torture.

Many are in a similar situation, they just maybe cannot make themselves move.

I am one of those procrastinators (especially as my income still feeds me "just", so lots of reasons are popping up in my mind that everything will magically get better and there will actually be no need to act at all. For example, at the moment I am "waiting" for my wife to pass her German language exam, without which she will not even get a visa into Germany, even though we are married and together for a good while).

Please keep us updated. If things go well, this might be a great motivator for lots of others standing at the abyss and just looking down. If not, I am egotistical enough to want to learn from it.

Again, I hope you will pull through and everything will be the better for your daring to act when it was needed.

Same as that about the middle of last year. Had been in boonies for some 30 months, built a new house, done the garden, got the kids settled, said bye-bye to her, etc. Had gone to other jobs around the world now and then, Bermuda, Europe, did a bit of engineering consultancy from home . . . Then one day realised this wasn't viable so packed and went back to Blighty.

You just have to get on with it and understand that retirement is for the old however much we may love it in our mid-thirties!

Was a handy place to see out a good part of the recession mind, but if I'd pushed it any more, getting back into work full time would have proved more and and more difficult.

Also realised that with the big drop in the Pound and even bigger drop in pay rates, living the international life was to be no more. Next time it will be back to the boonies and staying in the boonies with the monthly trip to Makro in Roi-Et being the highlight of the month.

Act now before it really becomes a problem.

[saroq]

Thank you for doing the sensible thing and going home to get some money together. Thank you for not becoming another example of Farang refuse that litter Thailand, people who should have gone home much earlier when the wheels fell off their wagon.

[MJP]

Thank you for doing the sensible thing and going home to get some money together. Thank you for not becoming another example of Farang refuse that litter Thailand, people who should have gone home much earlier when the wheels fell off their wagon.

Always had money. Money wasn't so much the problem as career. If you let your professional career slip (however much you may hate it), then you're in trouble. A big gap in your CV is a difficult hole to plug.

[cdnski12]

I wonder about all those +65 year old farangs living in Thailand? Sooner or later thay will need serious medical care. I finally gave up on the hot weather, the financially grasping family, poor sanitation, etc. Returned to Canada, only to find that I have Prostate Cancer. Could have been disasterous in Thailand. I met many older farangs there that never check their prostate. That is playing c/w fire. Now I visit Thailand for 2 month golfing trips. No more long time relationships.

[MJP]

I wonder about all those +65 year old farangs living in Thailand? Sooner or later thay will need serious medical care. I finally gave up on the hot weather, the financially grasping family, poor sanitation, etc. Returned to Canada, only to find that I have Prostate Cancer. Could have been disasterous in Thailand. I met many older farangs there that never check their prostate. That is playing c/w fire. Now I visit Thailand for 2 month golfing trips. No more long time relationships.

There's got to be many out there who no longer qualify for the retirement visa due to the drop in the values of western currencies, inflation and the drop in private pension returns. It's unlikely they've made a border crossing lately. Probably have no medical cover at all.

Precarious.

Unless you're wealthy, forget about retirement and unless you're very wealthy, forget about retiring to a foreign country.

Edited June 23, 2012 by MJP

[londoedan]

Thank you for doing the sensible thing and going home to get some money together. Thank you for not becoming another example of Farang refuse that litter Thailand, people who should have gone home much earlier when the wheels fell off their wagon.

Always had money. Money wasn't so much the problem as career. If you let your professional career slip (however much you may hate it), then you're in trouble. A big gap in your CV is a difficult hole to plug.

I'm not sure about that one. I've a had a couple of 'gaps' - 3 years travelling around SE Asia in the late 90's and then 1 year off work a couple of years ago. Providing that one is willing travel its been OK to picking-up work afterwards and at the interviews, nobody ever asked about the gaps

Edited June 23, 2012 by londoedan

[MJP]

Thank you for doing the sensible thing and going home to get some money together. Thank you for not becoming another example of Farang refuse that litter Thailand, people who should have gone home much earlier when the wheels fell off their wagon.

Always had money. Money wasn't so much the problem as career. If you let your professional career slip (however much you may hate it), then you're in trouble. A big gap in your CV is a difficult hole to plug.

I'm not sure about that one. I've a had a couple of 'gaps' - 3 years travelling around SE Asia in the late 90's and then 1 year off work a couple of years ago. Providing that one is willing travel its been OK to picking-up work afterwards and at the interviews, nobody ever asked about the gaps

I already had 15 years in, biggest sites in Europe, toughest jobs, and still these patronizing idiots 'commented'. I put it down to the recession and there not being much about, which there wasn't at the time and how I spent the time building houses, doing the occasional consultancy job, flying about now and again and finally had time with the kids after years of 'just working'. . . these people want your entire existence, your soul.

Edited June 23, 2012 by MJP

[londoedan]

I already had 15 years in, biggest sites in Europe, toughest jobs, and still these patronizing idiots 'commented'. I put it down to the recession and there not being much about, which there wasn't at the time and how I spent the time building houses, doing the occasional consultancy job, flying about now and again and finally had time with the kids after years of 'just working'. . . these people want your entire existence, your soul.

Chill-out

[autan]

What your doing makes sense. You get free NHS in the UK, use it. If you get the medical and finances in order, return to LOS.

Perhaps a break from the Thailand will increase your love for the place and by make some changes now, you are building a better foundation for the future. I am also back in the UK for 2 weeks and I can say its same old shit going on. Meaning a lot of talk and no action. Carry one folks nothing to see.

[MJP]

I already had 15 years in, biggest sites in Europe, toughest jobs, and still these patronizing idiots 'commented'. I put it down to the recession and there not being much about, which there wasn't at the time and how I spent the time building houses, doing the occasional consultancy job, flying about now and again and finally had time with the kids after years of 'just working'. . . these people want your entire existence, your soul.

Chill-out

I didn't mean you guys I mean the bosses here. It's tricky to be relaxed here. Really is.

[autan]

I can survive on 40,000 THB a month and that nots being frugal, that being quite frivilous with my cash. I earn around 15,000 THB a day everyday, so I can afford a lot more. 40,000 a month is a fortune in Chiang Mai. Surely you cannot be spending more than 100,000 a month or you need your head looking at.