17 Yo Son Severely Beat His Mother

[BigJohnnyBKK]

My friend - and yes it's a friend - is living upcountry with his wife of eight years, their two toddler children (his) and her seventeen-year-old from a previous husband.

The boy is physically disabled, and IMO has psychiatric problems as well, all of which my friend has been very generous in helping with both financially and by basically treating him as his own son. The boy doesn't do his work in school, basically just jaunts around on "his" motorbike and playing on the family computers.

I've just found out that he's beaten his mother up, causing a compound fracture in her leg and also breaking an arm. I don't know the details of what led up to the incident, but previously my friend tried telling him he had to put in a couple of homework hours before "playing Internet", and the result of that was the computer was smashed to bits.

Apparently Thai law forbids a "child" under 20 from being kicked out of the house without getting the police involved?

My friend would like to file a formal complaint with them, so that if there are more incidents like these it's not the first one reported and they're more likely to back him up.

The mother seems to have no idea what to do as you can imagine.

Any and all constructive advice would be appreciated, but general advice on how others can avoid this kind of situation would probably not be as much.

Thanks.

[Semper]

16 and they can enjoy the jail.

[travelmann]

See a lot of these useless idle bums out in the countryside. I have no idea why the families endure them or who is stupid enough to finance them.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Thanks so far I suppose, but I believe it is not their intention to actually have the judicial system deal with the boy at this time.

They want to ensure it's more likely a subsequent offense will be taken seriously if/when they do decide to take such steps.

And other than the question implicit in the above, the main one remains:

Can he legally be kicked out of the house and forced to support himself at 17? If not is it really 20 as I've been told elsewhere?

Edited June 24, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[dave111223]

What kind of "physically disabled" are we talking about?

[Tonto21]

I would bet a pound to a pinch of shit drugs will be behind his behavior………… Poor woman!

I know what I would do if I were her…..But then he would know just as well and not to pull this shit, know what I mean.

He does it because he knows he can get away with it, ‘little shit’. Missed placed mother’s love.

Time for some tough love and cut the cord on this one.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Yes I have no doubt myself drugs are involved, but that's not IMO currently relevant to the questions at hand. His physical disabilities involve his sensory organs rather than motor-kinesthetic abilities.

He's also (of course) had behavioural issues in school, back in the states I'm sure would've been drugged up to the gills by "well-intentioned" authorities since the age of six.

[ripstanley]

You say they live up country. Is this in a village or a city. If a village get your friends wife talk to the village boss. He may be able to give advise of what to do.

Edited June 24, 2012 by ripstanley

[aneliane]

This kid does not need jail

He needs an education

Every non- guided kid in the word divides his time between computer and bike.

He needs to be taught proper school work routine; ie no homework=no computer/no bike, respect of rules, schedules, times, people

He needs to be shown other interests (reading/sports..)

Jail just keep criminals away from society, it does not teach them to do good

[AnandaSatvha]

sad situation, my heart goes out to the family. I wish people had more empathy. I wish I knew how I could help more?

[arthurwait]

We don't know how what his disability is or what led upto the event so there's not a lot we can say to help.

I haven't seen many people with disabilites in Thailand, it's like they don't exist. Being treated like that must be frustrating. I've seen plenty of homeless mentally ill people though. I wonder how many were chucked out.

Probably stigmatised for having a disability and he could well be for having an up-country mum married to a farang. I doubt he has it easy.

[nattydread]

since hes into his bikes get the local motorcycle shop to give him a job and he works for free and u will pay his wages but only if he knuckles down and sticks at it and learns the trade.....tell him if he sticks at it u will help him set up his own m/c fixing business after one year if he makes the grade.........tell him its his last chance and its the highway if he doesnt pull his socks up

[pattayadingo]

I'd put in the report in case this is going to be an ongoing problem. Maybe it will be a one-off but often when it starts it seems to easy for it to happen again. Also if there is a report filed and maybe the boy is spoken to by someone he respects or by someone in authority, it might help stop a similar incident.

[JaiLai]

This kid does not need jail

He needs an education

Every non- guided kid in the word divides his time between computer and bike.

He needs to be taught proper school work routine; ie no homework=no computer/no bike, respect of rules, schedules, times, people

He needs to be shown other interests (reading/sports..)

Jail just keep criminals away from society, it does not teach them to do good

This is the funniest thing i have read today!

[YipYipYa123]

Can he not be enlisted into the army at 16-17 ? thats what i would do with him

sign him up for 1-2 years and let them teach him some manners

they will hammer the bullshit out of him and he will be a "saint " when he gets to

visit the family home again

[richard_smith237]

The young man being physically disabled is a key issue, by having him kicked out of the house where will he get work?, who is he going to rob when he needs money?... If he's physically fit enough to knock seven bells out of his mother, he's fit enough to work.

Aneliane's ideas are all correct - but to some extent the ideas also 'shut the barn door after the horse has bolted'.

The education part rings true - disabled or not, I'd give the lad a hiding.. His reaction to that depends whether or not he locked up (but thats just me, I'm sure many would disagree with this more primitive measure of discipline - but the lad can't behave, doesn't appear to know right from wrong, he will know fear and perhaps a healthy measure of fear may prevent future reoccurrence).

Another option could be to wedge in the Police and have him locked up for a short spell (a few days, a week etc) - This seems extreme, but it's not a 'pie in the sky' suggestion, I know someone who has done this.

Personally - I'd belt him a few times, have a 'police friend' lock him up for a few nights (with no charges) but a note on record, build him an 'room outside the house'. I wouldn't let him back in the house at all.... Once he shows a lengthy spell of remorse and improvement might I allow him such 'rewards'...

IMO: It also doesn't matter that you are his father or not. He beat YOUR wife.

[smokie36]

This kid has beaten his own mother....he is the lowest of the low in my book. If he shows no remorse then its the door I would say. 17 or not.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

This kid has beaten his own mother....he is the lowest of the low in my book. If he shows no remorse then its the door I would say. 17 or not.

And that's my question.

But if the time comes to actually cut the cord and out on his own dam_n the consequences to him personally, just redefining the family unit to no longer include him, write him off.

What are the possible consequences of trying to do so, when my understanding is it isn't legal here?

Completely agree on the hiding and stint in jail if that can be arranged (probably can be, this is the friend who's pal-ly with the local chief of police).

And yes, Army's a great idea, present it as jail or that - but perhaps his dodgy bits will get him refused.

Edited June 24, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[smokie36]

This kid has beaten his own mother....he is the lowest of the low in my book. If he shows no remorse then its the door I would say. 17 or not.

And that's my question.

But if the time comes to actually cut the cord and out on his own dam_n the consequences to him personally, just redefining the family unit to no longer include him, write him off.

What are the possible consequences of trying to do so, when my understanding is it isn't legal here?

Completely agree on the hiding and stint in jail if that can be arranged (probably can be, this is the friend who's pal-ly with the local chief of police).

IMHO...this kid has no respect whatsoever for his mother at all. Therefore being in the family unit is not going to sort out his issues.

Possibly there are other members of the extended family he might better respect?

Other than that he needs to find that self respect somewhere else....army perhaps as another poster suggested....or he will simply become yet another bum.

[YipYipYa123]

Parents have remarkable rights over children in Thailand i believe

If they object to a relationship ,they can even have a lover arrested if the girl is under age 20

and they police DO take it seriously

I think if the parents signed him up and dropped him off at the army base in the middle of nowwhere ,there might be

very little he could do about it

he wont be able to beat up a couple of army drill sergeants and smash their computers and they for sure wont take any shit off a 17 year old punk so he will learn .....one way or the other as they say

[arthurwait]

Parents have remarkable rights over children in Thailand i believe

If they object to a relationship ,they can even have a lover arrested if the girl is under age 20

and they police DO take it seriously

I think if the parents signed him up and dropped him off at the army base in the middle of nowwhere ,there might be

very little he could do about it

he wont be able to beat up a couple of army drill sergeants and smash their computers and they for sure wont take any shit off a 17 year old punk so he will learn .....one way or the other as they say

Isn't that just because it's illegal to have sex under whatever age without the parents permission ?

I doubt anyone can sign their kids into the army without the kid agreeing to it.

[David48]

Hard to know without spending time with the Family ... but who do you have the most empathy for?

The son appears to have a mental disorder and if discharged / disowned by the family unit most likely destined for a life on the street ... and a short life at that.

Or the Mother, who despite living in fear everyday has shown the compassion to keep her son under her roof and take care of him as best she can. As the son grows in confidence and strength the mother may go from being fearful of her health (from a bashing) to fearful of her life.

Some assumptions above I know because of the narrative supplied but ...

... but who do you have the most empathy for, the Mother or the Son?

[YipYipYa123]

Parents have remarkable rights over children in Thailand i believe

If they object to a relationship ,they can even have a lover arrested if the girl is under age 20

and they police DO take it seriously

I think if the parents signed him up and dropped him off at the army base in the middle of nowwhere ,there might be

very little he could do about it

he wont be able to beat up a couple of army drill sergeants and smash their computers and they for sure wont take any shit off a 17 year old punk so he will learn .....one way or the other as they say

Isn't that just because it's illegal to have sex under whatever age without the parents permission ?

I doubt anyone can sign their kids into the army without the kid agreeing to it.

hes either a child or an adult ,he cant be both

if its illegal to turf him out until hes 20

and its his parents choice if he has sex or not unitil hes 20

is it not his parents choice if he goes to army camp ?just a suggestion

if hes on drugs and going a bit mental with too much freedom at age 17

what else can they do with him ?

theres always "monkhood " but i doubt that would be strict enough

hes probably not afraid of anything at the moment ,and thats the problem

he thinks he can do what he wants ,his dads not around and his mum is easily

bullied etc

[arthurwait]

Parents have remarkable rights over children in Thailand i believe

If they object to a relationship ,they can even have a lover arrested if the girl is under age 20

and they police DO take it seriously

I think if the parents signed him up and dropped him off at the army base in the middle of nowwhere ,there might be

very little he could do about it

he wont be able to beat up a couple of army drill sergeants and smash their computers and they for sure wont take any shit off a 17 year old punk so he will learn .....one way or the other as they say

Isn't that just because it's illegal to have sex under whatever age without the parents permission ?

I doubt anyone can sign their kids into the army without the kid agreeing to it.

hes either a child or an adult ,he cant be both

if its illegal to turf him out until hes 20

and its his parents choice if he has sex or not unitil hes 20

is it not his parents choice if he goes to army camp ?just a suggestion

if hes on drugs and going a bit mental with too much freedom at age 17

what else can they do with him ?

theres always "monkhood " but i doubt that would be strict enough

hes probably not afraid of anything at the moment ,and thats the problem

he thinks he can do what he wants ,his dads not around and his mum is easily

bullied etc

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

For starters I would take away his motorbike and not give him access to a computer and if he has a cell phone take that away also. Make him earn the use of any of these items and give him jobs to do around the house, mow lawn take out rubbish etc. If he straightens up reward him if he causes any more problems bring in the police and ask them to lock him up for a few days to scare the hell out of him.

[pigeonjake]

theyll leave him not bother with the police and next time god forbid he might kill her or your freind, most of them younge lads are no good, there sisters have to do what they do to keep the family in food and they just ride around drink and drugs, PRISON

[GuestHouse]

Invest some money in getting him put in an institution for a few months.

Three months should do the trick.

[cdnmatt]

16 and you can volunteer for the military, and save yourself from the lottery later on.

Let him go chop trees down in the jungle, while the drill sergeant is yelling at him.

[TXBeth]

Such a sad situation. I highly doubt a deaf teenager with a history of violence will be eligible to serve in the military. If they kick him out, he will likely end up on the street, and yet it is unthinkable to condone the violence by essentially ignoring it.

[Mario2008]

The parents decide the place where a minor is living, so they can send him to some place where he can get help. If police gets involved, they might send him to a drug rehab facility. But behaviour issues seem to more of a problem, causing the drug use.

A good assesement of his problems would be the best and then decide the course of action.