Have you made any Thai male friends?

[Beachbunny]

What is the general conecpt of friendship, amongst the average Thai male?

From what I'm familiar with it's not so much different than Farang.

Long-term friendships tend to stem from school-days though.

That's right Boon Mee. My husband spent about 35 years in the states, but always kept in touch with his old friends from school. On moving back to Thailand, those same friends are still there. It's like he never left.

Beachbunny

[Butterfly]

One of my more cynical friends claims that Thais (real ones, not the Thai Chinese, who *do* seem to have friends) don't really have friends, they just have acquaintances- that's why you see them pick up new people so quickly (and also drop them just as quickly)... and so many people are so unreliable that it doesn't pay to trust too easily. There are elements of truth in that, though it's a little extreme- I think most Thais do pick up one or two very close friends, but it seems hard for them.

^ I went through this before in Japan, and it's one of the reasons I don't race to learn Thai language- the more I knew what the Japanese were saying, the less I wanted to hear of it. You're better off not knowing, in many ways.

Thais don't have close friends like we do. It takes a long time for them to make "real" friends and usually it means "support" friends when something wrong happens.

Thais live in a very "superficial" society because they believe that "harmony" is more important than "reality". Explains the whole concept of Thai smiles, silly lies, politeness, and apparant calm of the Thai society. Scratch the surface and you will see a darker side of the Thai society. Sometimes ignorance is liberating.

[Stephen Cleary]

One of my more cynical friends claims that Thais (real ones, not the Thai Chinese, who *do* seem to have friends) don't really have friends, they just have acquaintances- that's why you see them pick up new people so quickly (and also drop them just as quickly)... and so many people are so unreliable that it doesn't pay to trust too easily. There are elements of truth in that, though it's a little extreme- I think most Thais do pick up one or two very close friends, but it seems hard for them.

^ I went through this before in Japan, and it's one of the reasons I don't race to learn Thai language- the more I knew what the Japanese were saying, the less I wanted to hear of it. You're better off not knowing, in many ways.

Thais don't have close friends like we do. It takes a long time for them to make "real" friends and usually it means "support" friends when something wrong happens.

Thais live in a very "superficial" society because they believe that "harmony" is more important than "reality". Explains the whole concept of Thai smiles, silly lies, politeness, and apparant calm of the Thai society. Scratch the surface and you will see a darker side of the Thai society. Sometimes ignorance is liberating.

LOL............... Butterfly.......

Guess, it really depends on what kinda Thai folks you hang around with.

After 10 years here, i can admit that have had as many Thai friends as foreign. The only Thai guys i have known that are out 'looking for support' are the ones very similar in background to the girls that work the bar.

Butterfly, it seems ... from his opinion of Thais, their smiles, and their sense of reality etc... has unfortunately chosen, a Thai society of his which envelopes the worst Thailand has to offer.

Award of the week.........goes to this quite blatant generalization!

Edited January 21, 2006 by stevesuphan

[sbk]

Thais don't have close friends like we do. It takes a long time for them to make "real" friends and usually it means "support" friends when something wrong happens.

Thais live in a very "superficial" society because they believe that "harmony" is more important than "reality". Explains the whole concept of Thai smiles, silly lies, politeness, and apparant calm of the Thai society. Scratch the surface and you will see a darker side of the Thai society. Sometimes ignorance is liberating.

In some ways true, in other ways also a very superficial analysis of Thai people, their society and their culture.

But you are incorrect in that it takes a long time for them to make real friends in that I have found, at least with the Thai men (and women) I know, their true Thai friends are the ones they have had since children. And don't we all turn to our friends for support when something goes wrong? I certainly do (and I am not referring to financial support which is what, wrongly I believe, you are implying).

[opothai]

i personally believe in the saying

' if you can count your true friend on one hand , then you are a lucky man'.

so when you go to a foreign country to make aquantancies would be easy, but friends that i think will take a long , long time.

an uncle of mine once told me to look in the mirror straight back at your self and ask how many friends do i really have, i found that i have had many aquantacies but true friends are hard to come by. you can not lie to yourself, only to others.

some people's definition of friendship differ from other's.

so in conclusion, with the culture difference, language difference, to make true friendship with a thai male is difficult, as for having a craig with our thai counterparts no problem.

[Butterfly]

One of my more cynical friends claims that Thais (real ones, not the Thai Chinese, who *do* seem to have friends) don't really have friends, they just have acquaintances- that's why you see them pick up new people so quickly (and also drop them just as quickly)... and so many people are so unreliable that it doesn't pay to trust too easily. There are elements of truth in that, though it's a little extreme- I think most Thais do pick up one or two very close friends, but it seems hard for them.

^ I went through this before in Japan, and it's one of the reasons I don't race to learn Thai language- the more I knew what the Japanese were saying, the less I wanted to hear of it. You're better off not knowing, in many ways.

Thais don't have close friends like we do. It takes a long time for them to make "real" friends and usually it means "support" friends when something wrong happens.

Thais live in a very "superficial" society because they believe that "harmony" is more important than "reality". Explains the whole concept of Thai smiles, silly lies, politeness, and apparant calm of the Thai society. Scratch the surface and you will see a darker side of the Thai society. Sometimes ignorance is liberating.

LOL............... Butterfly.......

Guess, it really depends on what kinda Thai folks you hang around with.

After 10 years here, i can admit that have had as many Thai friends as foreign. The only Thai guys i have known that are out 'looking for support' are the ones very similar in background to the girls that work the bar.

Butterfly, it seems ... from his opinion of Thais, their smiles, and their sense of reality etc... has unfortunately chosen, a Thai society of his which envelopes the worst Thailand has to offer.

Award of the week.........goes to this quite blatant generalization!

You are giving way too much credit to Thais and their relationship with others. Money is a big thing here. The poors as much as the rich are obsessed with it. Strangely the only "real" Thai friends I have made here are mostly "poor" or very "average" in the complex layers of the Thai society. OTH, I am also "friends" with a few super "hi-so" (1 degree of freedom from Thaksin and his likes) and they are the most "selfish" and "twisted" people I have ever met here. They represent the "Elite" and the best of what Thailand has to offer. They are all smiles and polite but in reality they are trying to avoid all kind of "confrontation" or strong opinions you might have of them. They are just "polishing" the atmosphere for you so they don't lose face in front of you for their inability to connect with the "outside" world.

Now, this is mostly generalization and there are exceptions of course. The exceptions however are difficult to meet and on the surface you will most likely meet the "polite" type who think otherwise.

[sbk]

Now, this is mostly generalization and there are exceptions of course. The exceptions however are difficult to meet and on the surface you will most likely meet the "polite" type who think otherwise.

This I agree with. And why? Because the genuinely nice Thais do not seek out friendships, esp with farangs they have nothing in common with. The ones who seek out your friendship usually do so because they want something. Thus creating a catch 22--you want a Thai friend but the nice ones aren't interested because they can't really understand the casual farang friendships and the ones who seek you out are the ones who want something thus making you think that Thais only want friends they can use.

[Butterfly]

And don't we all turn to our friends for support when something goes wrong? I certainly do (and I am not referring to financial support which is what, wrongly I believe, you are implying).

Not in Thailand, you don't. Sharing your personal problems is regarded as "confrontations" and "being involved with others business", a faux pas, almost a taboo in Thai society. You don't turn to your friends when you face a problem, because not only you lose face but you also bring them with your own problems and that's regarded as "bad luck" or "bad karma" if you will. You don't drag your friends in your dirty laundry if you respect them. Only farangs do that. The only "support" they will ask is "financial" support because the trust is there. Actually "real" friends for Thais are part of the family, and are often refered to "little sisters" or "brothers" because they are integrated so deeply into their family.

Now, this is mostly generalization and there are exceptions of course. The exceptions however are difficult to meet and on the surface you will most likely meet the "polite" type who think otherwise.

This I agree with. And why? Because the genuinely nice Thais do not seek out friendships, esp with farangs they have nothing in common with. The ones who seek out your friendship usually do so because they want something. Thus creating a catch 22--you want a Thai friend but the nice ones aren't interested because they can't really understand the casual farang friendships and the ones who seek you out are the ones who want something thus making you think that Thais only want friends they can use.

I see your logic. True. They don't need us and therefore are not interested. Still interested enough to call us and invite us for dinner when they have a project to sell. This is what they do. For Farangs this is disrespectful and confrotonial but they don't see it like that. They think they do you a favor by inviting you and therefore being polite make the whole "disrespectful" situation go away. That's what I mean by scratching the surface. Western protocols are in total collision with Thai protocols. Another reason probably why they try to avoid "farangs". I have created myself a few "collisions" with those Thai "friends" out of ignorance or even malice sometimes

Edited January 21, 2006 by Butterfly

[sbk]

Not in Thailand, you don't. Sharing your personal problems is regarded as "confrontations" and "being involved with others business", a faux pas, almost a taboo in Thai society. You don't turn to your friends when you face a problem, because not only you lose face but you also bring them with your own problems and that's regarded as "bad luck" or "bad karma" if you will. You don't drag your friends in your dirty laundry if you respect them. Only farangs do that. The only "support" they will ask is "financial" support because the trust is there. Actually "real" friends for Thais are part of the family, and are often refered to "little sisters" or "brothers" because they are integrated so deeply into their family.

Actually, in my experience, watching my husband and his best friend (another Thai man who has been his friend since they were quite young) this is absolutely incorrect. When the friend's wife left him for another man (by all accounts carrying on the affair while her husband was working to support his wife and children) he came to my husband to talk it over, never once asking for financial help, just advice.

I suggest that your vision of Thai friendships is skewed by that catch-22 I already mentioned, you cannot understand a true Thai friendship since there are very few Thai men who will be your friend. I don't mean that as an insult, just the fact that once friendships are made they are not casually shrugged off, just as they are not casually taken on. Any friendship with a farang, would almost always be casual since you cannot really have known this person that long.

[Butterfly]

Actually, in my experience, watching my husband and his best friend (another Thai man who has been his friend since they were quite young) this is absolutely incorrect. When the friend's wife left him for another man (by all accounts carrying on the affair while her husband was working to support his wife and children) he came to my husband to talk it over, never once asking for financial help, just advice.

I suggest that your vision of Thai friendships is skewed by that catch-22 I already mentioned, you cannot understand a true Thai friendship since there are very few Thai men who will be your friend. I don't mean that as an insult, just the fact that once friendships are made they are not casually shrugged off, just as they are not casually taken on. Any friendship with a farang, would almost always be casual since you cannot really have known this person that long.

Agree but I think I didn't explain myself well enough above. When I was refering to friends, I was refering to superficial friends, people you know but don't consider deep friends or part of your family. See my other post above about true friends. Thais will share about anything with their "real" friends as they are regarded as part of the family. As for farangs, I understand perfectly that they would not feel confortable sharing such information with them. I know I wouldn't if I was living in a country with a massive expat community trying to climb the social ladder by every means.

[Stephen Cleary]

Just reading like a lot of the same old 'anti-thai guy', 'anti-thai society', 'anti-thai ways' banter.

I have had and do have a lot of Thai friends who i regard as just being the same kinda people as my Farang ones.

I do not agree with any chit-chat along the lines of 'Thais would never accept a Farang as a true friend etc....' sounds like bar-stool gossip.

There are of course, a lot of things which a Thai finds hard to relate to in regards to the western way of thinking and vice-versa. This perhaps is the obstacle to securing a long-term friendship with a local in Thailand. Just like that bit about 'having little in common'

I have had many a fine buddy, from the likes of the local Samlor driver to Thailand's eilitist.

As Thais say, "There are good and bad people everywhere"

Butterfly remarked that "Thais don't share their personal problems" etc...

Well, perhaps we live in Thailand but yet on another planet. My male friends and i have always been able to share and talk about our personal problems. Again, talk like this comes from some book off the shelf of DK Books. Only generalizing.

I live in Thailand, i love the country, her people and her culture. Is that one reason why Thai people are more open in becoming my friend??

If you come live and Thailand with a negative pessimistic outlook perhaps that will reflect in the lack of local friendship. If any farang comes to Thailand and complains about Thai people this, Thailand people that - then who's gonna want to know them??

And finally, i dont have any Thai friends that 'use' me for this or that or to gain anything financially.

As for a few farang who I have in known in Thailand! - that are probably worse users than half the gigolos living in Pattaya.

[ImageDude]

I thought I had made a friend with one Thai guy when I first started visiting my Thai GF in the North. The guy was unemployed awaiting a compensation claim for an accident he had abroad. He was also part of my Gf,s 'adopted family', and she thought it a good idea for us to go fishing etc, we even loaned him money (which he paid back, no problem). Everything was fine until he received his settlement, now he doesn’t want to know. I tried to keep in touch with him, and although his refusals to meet up were always polite there was a definate coldness there. I was in Thailand at the beginning of January for 2 weeks and never heard anything from him, and I’m told he has also gone cold on his Thai friends. Mai Pen Rai.

Imagedude

[sbk]

Just reading like a lot of the same old 'anti-thai guy', 'anti-thai society', 'anti-thai ways' banter.

I have had and do have a lot of Thai friends who i regard as just being the same kinda people as my Farang ones.

I do not agree with any chit-chat along the lines of 'Thais would never accept a Farang as a true friend etc....' sounds like bar-stool gossip. I

There are of course, a lot of things which a Thai finds hard to relate to in regards to the western way of thinking and vice-versa. This perhaps is the obstacle to securing a long-term friendship with a local in Thailand. Just like that bit about 'having little in common'

I have had many a fine buddy, from the likes of the local Samlor driver to Thailand's eilitist.

As Thais say, "There are good and bad people everywhere"

Butterfly remarked that "Thais don't share their personal problems" etc...

Well, perhaps we live in Thailand but yet on another planet. My male friends and i have always been able to share and talk about our personal problems. Again, talk like this comes from some book off the shelf of DK Books. Only generalizing.

I live in Thailand, i love the country, her people and her culture. Is that one reason why Thai people are more open in becoming my friend??

If you come live and Thailand with a negative pessimistic outlook perhaps that will reflect in the lack of local friendship. If any farang comes to Thailand and complains about Thai people this, Thailand people that - then who's gonna want to know them??

And finally, i dont have any Thai friends that 'use' me for this or that or to gain anything financially.

As for a few farang who I have in known in Thailand! - that are probably worse users than half the gigolos living in Pattaya.

I am married to a Thai man, certainly am not anti-thai male nor anti-thai society. Perhaps, being married to a Thai man for the past 16 years, I have a better perspective on Thai men than you do? Butterfly and I aren't really discussing the fairly casual relationships that most Thais have with most farangs nor with each other but the really true, deep friendships that they have.

[Butterfly]

Just reading like a lot of the same old 'anti-thai guy', 'anti-thai society', 'anti-thai ways' banter.

I have had and do have a lot of Thai friends who i regard as just being the same kinda people as my Farang ones.

I do not agree with any chit-chat along the lines of 'Thais would never accept a Farang as a true friend etc....' sounds like bar-stool gossip.

There are of course, a lot of things which a Thai finds hard to relate to in regards to the western way of thinking and vice-versa. This perhaps is the obstacle to securing a long-term friendship with a local in Thailand. Just like that bit about 'having little in common'

I have had many a fine buddy, from the likes of the local Samlor driver to Thailand's eilitist.

As Thais say, "There are good and bad people everywhere"

Butterfly remarked that "Thais don't share their personal problems" etc...

Well, perhaps we live in Thailand but yet on another planet. My male friends and i have always been able to share and talk about our personal problems. Again, talk like this comes from some book off the shelf of DK Books. Only generalizing.

I live in Thailand, i love the country, her people and her culture. Is that one reason why Thai people are more open in becoming my friend??

If you come live and Thailand with a negative pessimistic outlook perhaps that will reflect in the lack of local friendship. If any farang comes to Thailand and complains about Thai people this, Thailand people that - then who's gonna want to know them??

And finally, i dont have any Thai friends that 'use' me for this or that or to gain anything financially.

As for a few farang who I have in known in Thailand! - that are probably worse users than half the gigolos living in Pattaya.

I think you are mixing a lot of problems here. Bad people are everywhere, not sure where it belongs in this debate. As for complaining, we all do, we are farangs, this is what we do.

I think it comes down to expectations. Most farangs probably think that Thais will welcome them with open arms and make them feel right at home and adapt the "invader" ways and culture at the first meet. The trouble is that we are not at home, we are guests here, something that too many forgets when they move here (me the first).

I think it's safe to say as a conclusion that Thais are not easy to make friends with. This is not necessarly a negative comment, just my observation and the consensus I get when I meet other people. "Superficially" friendly yes. Europeans will tend to try to develop deeper relationship with people they meet, not the Thais. I am just trying to understand the reasons for that.

And as for farangs who still want to keep thinking that Thailand is just a fairy tale, there will be a rude awakening for them one day or another. This is not being Anti-Thai (I still love the place), I am just being realistic here.

[Misplaced]

I think you are mixing a lot of problems here. Bad people are everywhere, not sure where it belongs in this debate. As for complaining, we all do, we are farangs, this is what we do.

And as for farangs who still want to keep thinking that Thailand is just a fairy tale, there will be a rude awakening for them one day or another. This is not being Anti-Thai (I still love the place), I am just being realistic here.

This is what we do?. God i hope not. May be complaing is the problem, so stop it and try harder to make good friends. If you have an open mind and open heart, friends are not far away.

[Stephen Cleary]

I think you are mixing a lot of problems here. Bad people are everywhere, not sure where it belongs in this debate. As for complaining, we all do, we are farangs, this is what we do.

And as for farangs who still want to keep thinking that Thailand is just a fairy tale, there will be a rude awakening for them one day or another. This is not being Anti-Thai (I still love the place), I am just being realistic here.

This is what we do?. God i hope not. May be complaing is the problem, so stop it and try harder to make good friends. If you have an open mind and open heart, friends are not far away.

Complaing all the time.....that's exactly one of the main points! How many of the locals are gonna want to befriend a foreigner who does nothing but sit around swigging Beer Chang and going on and on ridiculing a country he wasn't even asked to come to?

Personally, i can't be bothered with winging about 'Thailand this or Thailand that'. Sure, i can have a laugh and a bit of a dig but nothing down right 'full in your face'

As for our friend living in Koh Phangan and married to a Thai guy for 16 odd years. I can't agree that "I have more perspective about Thai men than you". Let's have a male member write "I've been married to a Thai girl for 20 years, so as a foreign girl - don't argue with me!" - of course, he would have indepth knowledge about every Thai girl in general.

BTW: Thais have as deep and true friendship as any caucasian.

And finally, another obstacle to Thai/caucasian friendship is quite obviously the language barrier.

Edited January 22, 2006 by stevesuphan

[sbk]

I never said they don't have deep and true friendships, seems you read what you choose to read. I said, the friendships they do have are deep and true and built from childhood, very rarely do they make truly close friends later in life.

And, believe it or not, I have actually had this conversation with my husband previously and am only telling you what he has told me. So, if you choose to argue with his perspective as a Thai man, so be it.

[Boon Mee]

Butterfly certainly has strong opinions on this subject. I suppose I had similiar when I first came to Thailand but over the course of a few years, shed the analytical crap and just got on with it.

Thais and Farang ain't never gonna be the same no way no how and that's just the way it is.

Deal with it and Love it!

[Stephen Cleary]

I never said they don't have deep and true friendships, seems you read what you choose to read. I said, the friendships they do have are deep and true and built from childhood, very rarely do they make truly close friends later in life.

And, believe it or not, I have actually had this conversation with my husband previously and am only telling you what he has told me. So, if you choose to argue with his perspective as a Thai man, so be it.

It very much depends on the persons - just as in 'Farangland.'

Caucasians too, could argue the the very same point; 'the best of friendship' is built from childhood.

Let me take this opportunity for the umpteenth time to say: "To quote one man's words" as a true reflection of a society within which we reside - is....complete generalization...

It could be called rather unfair, for a foreigner, who on living on.... say the 'Shetland Islands' in Scotland and married to a local; have the decency to dictate to the rest of the world the mentatility of say....the British.

Sorry, but this.... idea of yours which you have heard from your husband is just his idea, and can not be generalized as the whole 'Thai male' - it depends on the person!

[Ulysses G.]

I never said they don't have deep and true friendships, seems you read what you choose to read. I said, the friendships they do have are deep and true and built from childhood, very rarely do they make truly close friends later in life.

Anyone who has lived in Thailand for a long period of time, searched for answers and listened to Thais would recognize this as the truth.

Denying it only shows one's lack of insight into what surrounds you.

[Stephen Cleary]

I never said they don't have deep and true friendships, seems you read what you choose to read. I said, the friendships they do have are deep and true and built from childhood, very rarely do they make truly close friends later in life.

Anyone who has lived in Thailand for a long period of time, searched for answers and listened to Thais would recognize this as the truth.

Denying it only shows one's lack of insight into what surrounds you.

Great words of wisdom!!............ Gosh and golly! - perhaps i ought to (swallow a dictionary) and write for myself a few awe-inspiring phrases!.....

Classic....keep it going ....Lol...

5555

BTW: wasn't it this guy (Ulysses...going by other names) who has been banned from other Forums for his Anti-Thai rhetoric!???

Edited January 22, 2006 by stevesuphan

[Ulysses G.]

BTW: wasn't it this guy (Ulysses...going by other names) who has been banned from other Forums for his Anti-Thai rhetoric!???

No it wasn't, but you are welcome to try to find some of these mythical posts instead of dreaming up lies.

BTW, making absurd, unfounded accusations, that have nothing to do with the topic, doesn't help your argument in the least.

Edited January 22, 2006 by Ulysses G.

[Ulysses G.]

I never said they don't have deep and true friendships, seems you read what you choose to read. I said, the friendships they do have are deep and true and built from childhood, very rarely do they make truly close friends later in life.

Anyone who has lived in Thailand for a long period of time, searched for answers and listened to Thais would recognize this as the truth.

Denying it only shows one's lack of insight into what surrounds you.

Great words of wisdom!!............ Gosh and golly! - perhaps i ought to (swallow a dictionary) and write for myself a few awe-inspiring phrases!.....

You mean like, "the friendships they do have are deep and true," and, "Denying it only shows one's lack of insight..."?

Most people wouldn't need to "swallow a dictionary" to come up with simple phrases like these.

[sbk]

I never said they don't have deep and true friendships, seems you read what you choose to read. I said, the friendships they do have are deep and true and built from childhood, very rarely do they make truly close friends later in life.

And, believe it or not, I have actually had this conversation with my husband previously and am only telling you what he has told me. So, if you choose to argue with his perspective as a Thai man, so be it.

It very much depends on the persons - just as in 'Farangland.'

Caucasians too, could argue the the very same point; 'the best of friendship' is built from childhood.

Let me take this opportunity for the umpteenth time to say: "To quote one man's words" as a true reflection of a society within which we reside - is....complete generalization...

It could be called rather unfair, for a foreigner, who on living on.... say the 'Shetland Islands' in Scotland and married to a local; have the decency to dictate to the rest of the world the mentatility of say....the British.

Sorry, but this.... idea of yours which you have heard from your husband is just his idea, and can not be generalized as the whole 'Thai male' - it depends on the person!

Well, since he is Thai, nearly everyone he knows is Thai, and he has spent the past 38 years of his life living in Thailand, a part of Thai culture, then I think he can speak in generalities.

But, if it makes you feel better that you can call your samlor driver "friend', then go right ahead.

[Ulysses G.]

But, if it makes you feel better that you can call your samlor driver "friend', then go right ahead.

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(sbk @ 2006-01-22 22:19:10) *

But, if it makes you feel better that you can call your samlor driver "friend', then go right ahead.

biggrin.gif

What's wrong with having a friend that drives a samlor? I have two GOOD friends that drive songtaews.

Do you reserve your friendship for MPs and hi-sos?

[Boon Mee]

I never said they don't have deep and true friendships, seems you read what you choose to read. I said, the friendships they do have are deep and true and built from childhood, very rarely do they make truly close friends later in life.

And, believe it or not, I have actually had this conversation with my husband previously and am only telling you what he has told me. So, if you choose to argue with his perspective as a Thai man, so be it.

It very much depends on the persons - just as in 'Farangland.'

Caucasians too, could argue the the very same point; 'the best of friendship' is built from childhood.

Let me take this opportunity for the umpteenth time to say: "To quote one man's words" as a true reflection of a society within which we reside - is....complete generalization...

It could be called rather unfair, for a foreigner, who on living on.... say the 'Shetland Islands' in Scotland and married to a local; have the decency to dictate to the rest of the world the mentatility of say....the British.

Sorry, but this.... idea of yours which you have heard from your husband is just his idea, and can not be generalized as the whole 'Thai male' - it depends on the person!

But, if it makes you feel better that you can call your samlor driver "friend', then go right ahead.

If said 'friend' steers the Farang in the correct path then by default, isn't he indeed a true 'friend'?

[sbk]

Did that come out sounding snobby? What I meant to try to point out, if you had read previous posts, was that the notion that one could become good friends with a Thai man that one knows only casually (such as ones samlor driver or barber or MP or whatever) is not likely to happen.

[Boon Mee]

Did that come out sounding snobby? What I meant to try to point out, if you had read previous posts, was that the notion that one could become good friends with a Thai man that one knows only casually (such as ones samlor driver or barber or MP or whatever) is not likely to happen.

I didn't take it as snobby but would suggest perhaps the definition of 'friend' may lie in the eye of the beholder. At risk of sounding 'jaded' ala Butterfly, the best we can do is hang on to one or two good friends and consider ourselves fortunate.

[sbk]

Did that come out sounding snobby? What I meant to try to point out, if you had read previous posts, was that the notion that one could become good friends with a Thai man that one knows only casually (such as ones samlor driver or barber or MP or whatever) is not likely to happen.

I didn't take it as snobby but would suggest perhaps the definition of 'friend' may lie in the eye of the beholder. At risk of sounding 'jaded' ala Butterfly, the best we can do is hang on to one or two good friends and consider ourselves fortunate.

Agreed Boon Mee, I think we may be defining "friend" in very different ways here.

OMG, something must be going wrong here, Boon Mee and SBK having something we agree on!