I'm Chuffed To Bits

[Nickerelastic]

So mod's feel free to delete or edit.

My neighbour............ a young guy "came out of the closet " To me last year. Long story won't bore you with the details. We, my fella and I said "so what!!! meaning you are still the same to person to us as you have always been. A nice young guy who is a good neighbour.

I asked are your parents and siblings ok with it?"

Mum and sis' are OK, dad is working on it.

Other neighbours have asked about him and his "lodger". I feign ignorance.

An online friend's partner has just outed them as a couple.

Basically what I am trying to say is I feel honoured to be entrusted.

[PeaceBlondie]

No reason to delete the topic; I guess it's about coming out, being outed, people's reactions to it, etc.

I'm still not out to a lot of people to whom I don't care to be out. I am still a member of a Christian denomination with a strict "don't ask, don't tell" policy; the local church could get expelled if they asked and told. At my career in the USA, and my teaching jobs in Thailand, nobody needed to know. In my neighborhood, where they can see who comes and goes at my apartment, it's too obvious to hide.

Family. I let both my aged parents die without knowing I was gay; I don't think they could have handled it, or they didn't need to know. To my sisters who are sentient, I'm out. To my nearly autistic sister, no. To my innumerable kids, I'm out, but some of them don't want to mention it. To the grandkids, of course it's none of their business.

I haven't had any seriously negative reactions to coming out, partly because I was careful to only come out to those that I thought could accept it.

[ChrisP]

When I came out (1993) I chose someone who (I thought ) would be supportive for the first telling.. It really helped. Sounds like your friend did the same thing.!

I eventually came out completely - to everyone. It was just WAY too much effort and energy to try and remember to change pronouns and lie...

Having said that, when I'm flying and get into conversations with the person sat next to me, where it becomes unavoidable to talk about "he" or "she" at some point .. I am aware that SOME people may not take it too well.. and so I have to gauge if I want to sit for 14 hours with a hostile person..

I would prefer to be absolutely honest - my feeling is that the more people see how (relatively) "normal" I am (as a gay person) the more they are likely to accept...

ChrisP

[Nickerelastic]

With the benefit of hindsight and the recollection of past conversations both with my neighbour and online friend . I am proud to be their confidante.

TPB I waited til my mother-in-law died before I walked out on her son.

[Nam Kao]

>>>With the benefit of hindsight

[Nickerelastic]

Yes, with the benefit of hindsight.....................................

OH geewhizz my other neighbour is pregnant She must be heterosexual

[Buki]

my experience was rather the opposite, I helped a good friend to be more closeted than ever. I don't know if it was a right choice, but he thinks it was a good idea. Though I really wanted him to be out but his reasons seems valid enough. Though, once in a while, I help him find dates and introduce men that I trust, and plan blind dates.

Wow, congratulations to your neighbor... Welcome to the club.. er the family... er the federation... whatever. LOL

[Ijustwannateach]

I'm officially closeted at work (though no place else), though as time goes by I am coming out individually to those I trust the most. Actually, after a few years of not showing up with a girlfriend or regaling the staffroom with bargirl talk, I think most of them probably have their suspicions- but we all seem happy with "don't ask, don't tell." Besides, the best kept secret is the one everyone already thinks they know.

"Steven"

Oh, and kudos to Nickerelastic- you took your neighbor's confidence in exactly the right way (and should be feeling good)- you give heterosexuality a good name!

"Steven"

[Nickerelastic]

Thank you Ijustwannateach.

ChrisP..."remember to change pronouns and lie..." That is where I feel trusted. He, my neighbour says..things like"he does..... whatever?" it makes me laugh not in a derogatory way. Just that he sounds like me moaning about my other half.

PeaceBlondie Thank you too, for not deleting this thread.