Really Awkward Problem After Giving A Gift To A Thai Person

[PattayaParent]

Ya I agree, I think it is similar to Japan if you try to tip they will say they don't want it and be offended that you think they need more money just to do their job.

Same in Viet Nam, Ha Noi anyway.

[Heng]

I've done that before. Usually locals can determine place in hierarchy after a short conversation but I've mistaken more than a few raggedy dressed (and acting) folks before for employees when they were actually business owners (and in a few cases owners of the entire neighborhood block). Was having a mini vacation with the kids last weekend and 'ordered breakfast' from another hotel guest who was just being friendly and asking me whether I had ordered breakfast yet. :-)

No need to get too worked up, these things balance themselves out. There's certainly no quick fix other than to continue the relationship normally.

[mr3cho]

I wouldn't exactly try so hard to pin this or fit this into Thai culture unless it happens often, which I doubt it has because everyone is trying to speculate on what happened here. I'm still pretty perplexed myself.

Think about back home... not every acquaintance follows the rules or norms of your culture. Some people just come off as weird and some interactions with people are just awkward. Maybe this was just one of those times?

[h90]

Giving the owner 1000 Baht tip was wrong, most probably.

Giving him the 350 Baht and buy some good wine (unless he is one of the non alcohol Buddhists) that comes from the same country you come from.

Nicely wrapped as gift and some tip for the girl would be what I would have done.

But no way I am sure if would have been right.

If he is the super rich guy and you tip him with 1000 Baht and sweets than he should think that these Farangs are idiots who don't know anything, but not being insulted...

Strange....

[h90]

If she's offended and wants to express her offence by strutting about with a bad face on, but can't or won't articulate to you what has actually caused the offence, then my advice is leave her to it.

I've seen hundreds of occasions when Thais take offence over some claimed feux pas committed by a foreigner against their Thai culture.

The reason they are pished is almost never the reason they say they are pished.

But here's the nasty trick - its their culture, they know all the rules, you know non of the rules - They get to say when you are right and when you are wrong.

Golden rule of cross cultural respect - If you don't start from a basis of respecting yourself and your own culture you will wind up lost in a cultural maze with know point of reference you can rely on.

My advice, make a reasonable apology for any unintended offence you have caused, (it seems you have made your reasonable apology) - Now let her get over herself.

The alternative is you pussy foot around people who are telling you how to behave on the basis of a set of rules they and only they have sight of.

Normally they think that the Farangs are just stupid and don't care....Well normally....

[teatree]

The actions of the receptionist are totally uncalled for.

Gift giving to show you appreciate someone is very common in

thailand.

Maybe they thought you were being condescending but still I think its a totally absurd reaction.

[teatree]

For the owner and receptionist they probably saw their actions as "nam jai" (=genuine act of kindness or help, without anything expected in return). Giving money for such an act, particularly when repeatedly refused may sort of "cheapen it".

For the owner of the building there might well be the value of "bunkhun" in play, as well as seniority. The owner does a favour, and this "bunkhun" should create a feeling of gratitude or indebtedness in the one on the receiving end. In addition bunkhun is between people of different status levels, where the higher person behaves in a kind way to those lower than them. Status-wise the building owner is higher than you, probably older, more money as they own the building. A master or richer person tips a servant with money, not the other way round. Insisting on giving money, might have been looked at as insisting on a higher position in society, when you should simply have been acknowledging the kindness of someone higher. I guess flipping it round in western terms it might have come across as "patronising" is the nearest equivalent I can think of. To an owner of several buildings, who is probably wealthy THB 1,000 is probably not much and may leave them wondering who do you think I am?. In the same way, you wouldn't give a dollar tip say to a multi-millionaire, a lord/lady, or someone else viewed as "higher" in society in the west who say gave you a lift - not a great analogy though.

As for the chocolates. You should present to the owner in person, not thru the receptionist. It's also possible that she was on the receiving end of the owners reaction to your family's actions, and she was on the receiving end of who do they think they are. You've unwittingly put her in an uncomfortable position.

I fully understand your family's intentions. It's the type of thing my parents would also do to be honest.

What to do differently. If someone refuses money, and you ask again and they refuse it, then leave it - respect their position. Money to someone higher than you in return for kindness is not the right way to show gratitude. That's what the higher person might do to the lower. A nicer touch would have been something personal or something from your home country at a later point in time.

The above are all just possibilities, and there could be any other number of reasons, Thai related or not.

Personally, what I would do, is in a day or so, have a word with the receptionist. Along the lines of, I'm sorry I think we may have put you in a difficult situation. Our customs are a bit different. Could you help me understand what we could have done better, and what a Thai person would have done. They might get embarassed, and feel a little uncomfortable, but they will understand you are saying sorry, and your customs are different. You may even build a friendship with someone you can ask these things.

Next time you see the owner, you might want to "wai" them. Lower person wais first showing you recognise their higher status. Thank them again for helping your family, and add that I hope you weren't offended by the mother-in-laws insistence, as she doesn't understand Thai customs. Throw in a few phrases around how your MIL kept saying that Thai people are so kind..... etc

Bottom line: They are the only ones who know how your actions were received and why. Showing humility and apologising will go a long way for barbaric foreigners. Besides they won't want you to feel uncomfortable so will likely quick want to make you feel better! We all make mistakes in different cultures, so as you're doing recognise you made one, and see if you can now use it to build bridges and relationships.

Edit: BTW 5 Ferrero Rocher is a bit of a cheap gift and nothing special - cost what say 100 baht. Now if the owner had already given the 1,000 baht to the receptionist to give back, do you think she would really want to pass on 100 baht chocolates?. She'd be uncomfortable and thinking what have I done to deserve this

Would a millionare taxi around a load of customers in his own pick up for money?

And do the customers have the right to be offended at the "patronising" 150b discount the business owner gave them?

[Trembly]

So did she give you the chocolates AND the 1000 Baht note back?

[Trembly]

For the owner and receptionist they probably saw their actions as "nam jai" (=genuine act of kindness or help, without anything expected in return). Giving money for such an act, particularly when repeatedly refused may sort of "cheapen it".

For the owner of the building there might well be the value of "bunkhun" in play, as well as seniority. The owner does a favour, and this "bunkhun" should create a feeling of gratitude or indebtedness in the one on the receiving end. In addition bunkhun is between people of different status levels, where the higher person behaves in a kind way to those lower than them. Status-wise the building owner is higher than you, probably older, more money as they own the building. A master or richer person tips a servant with money, not the other way round. Insisting on giving money, might have been looked at as insisting on a higher position in society, when you should simply have been acknowledging the kindness of someone higher. I guess flipping it round in western terms it might have come across as "patronising" is the nearest equivalent I can think of. To an owner of several buildings, who is probably wealthy THB 1,000 is probably not much and may leave them wondering who do you think I am?. In the same way, you wouldn't give a dollar tip say to a multi-millionaire, a lord/lady, or someone else viewed as "higher" in society in the west who say gave you a lift - not a great analogy though.

As for the chocolates. You should present to the owner in person, not thru the receptionist. It's also possible that she was on the receiving end of the owners reaction to your family's actions, and she was on the receiving end of who do they think they are. You've unwittingly put her in an uncomfortable position.

I fully understand your family's intentions. It's the type of thing my parents would also do to be honest.

What to do differently. If someone refuses money, and you ask again and they refuse it, then leave it - respect their position. Money to someone higher than you in return for kindness is not the right way to show gratitude. That's what the higher person might do to the lower. A nicer touch would have been something personal or something from your home country at a later point in time.

The above are all just possibilities, and there could be any other number of reasons, Thai related or not.

Personally, what I would do, is in a day or so, have a word with the receptionist. Along the lines of, I'm sorry I think we may have put you in a difficult situation. Our customs are a bit different. Could you help me understand what we could have done better, and what a Thai person would have done. They might get embarassed, and feel a little uncomfortable, but they will understand you are saying sorry, and your customs are different. You may even build a friendship with someone you can ask these things.

Next time you see the owner, you might want to "wai" them. Lower person wais first showing you recognise their higher status. Thank them again for helping your family, and add that I hope you weren't offended by the mother-in-laws insistence, as she doesn't understand Thai customs. Throw in a few phrases around how your MIL kept saying that Thai people are so kind..... etc

Bottom line: They are the only ones who know how your actions were received and why. Showing humility and apologising will go a long way for barbaric foreigners. Besides they won't want you to feel uncomfortable so will likely quick want to make you feel better! We all make mistakes in different cultures, so as you're doing recognise you made one, and see if you can now use it to build bridges and relationships.

Edit: BTW 5 Ferrero Rocher is a bit of a cheap gift and nothing special - cost what say 100 baht. Now if the owner had already given the 1,000 baht to the receptionist to give back, do you think she would really want to pass on 100 baht chocolates?. She'd be uncomfortable and thinking what have I done to deserve this

Would a millionare taxi around a load of customers in his own pick up for money?

And do the customers have the right to be offended at the "patronising" 150b discount the business owner gave them?

I thought it was odd that the owner charged any money at all, although it could have just been what he reckoned the cost of petrol would be along the lines of. "How much? ... Just give me the petrol money, that'll be fine".

Edited July 18, 2012 by Trembly

[DocN]

Yeah...try to be nice in Thailand to the Thais! Good luck with that!

1001 traps to fall into...but wait...soon someone will rip you off on the other end...

[Jigger]

Serves you right. Deal with it.

Go jump in front of a tuk tuk,

Couldnt have said it better.

Those gifts can very well be taken as a big insult, indeed. Mai pen rai. You get the gifts back insulted and so are insulted back.

Serves you right. Deal with it.

How does it serve them right? This is kindness shown by a Westerner to a Thai. I, too, had no idea that giving a gift to a Thai could be seen as an insult, though with explanation I do understand why it can be construed this way. But to tell the OP it serves him and his girlfriend right for being nice is ridiculous, not to mention showing a certain impoliteness that perhaps you've not noticed from living here too long (or not long enough).

Dancealot sounds like the kind of person who has lost sight of the real world... I would guess he is the kind of person who cant afford to leave Thailand so imagines that the entire world is just like Thailand and anyone who dosnt understand Thailand straight away deserves what ever comes to them.. The funny part he thought he provided some kind of advise and thinks his OP could be taken as anyway beyond an insult? 555

[Berkshire]

Yeah...try to be nice in Thailand to the Thais! Good luck with that!

1001 traps to fall into...but wait...soon someone will rip you off on the other end...

You see, Mr. Byrne, this is what happens when you provide incomplete information related to a cultural/language misunderstanding. You get truly asinine remarks from the wretched masses.

[TommoPhysicist]

Why would you care what servants think of you.

They aren't your friends, use them and ignore them.

Edited July 18, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Kan Win]

*My GF's mother was so happy that he didn't leave them, that she insisted he took 1,000baht and enjoyed himself.

*After he refused 20 times he eventually took the money which delighted my mother in law.

Well after the 3rd time your mun-in-law should have just wai-ed and thanked him very much and given the 1,000 baht to your GF and she should have put the money into a charity box or staff tip box in the Condo that you are staying in.

I am very sorry that you did not know about this.

Well that is my veiw on what should have happend.

One hopes all of us have learned a lesson from this topic. I know btw, been over here a long time.

Thank you to the OP's for this post.

Win

P.S. Should the Condo have an e-mail address, perhaps let the Mum-In-Law send them one with a big Thank you. Please make 100% sure you put the driver on the pick-up name on it.

[mca]

Was having a mini vacation with the kids last weekend and 'ordered breakfast' from another hotel guest who was just being friendly and asking me whether I had ordered breakfast yet. :-)

Yeah I was in a restaurant once where the staff wore red polo shirts and I indicated that I wanted the bill from a fellow patron in the same shade of red polo shirt as the staff who just happened to be standing up. Profuse apologies followed my extreme embarrassment. Both he and his group found it quite amusing.

[Dancealot]

Thanks, Jigger you are right. I wanted to push the OP's nose in the facts again(Dutch expression) because i wondered if he was really that shocked about this normal everyday situation. I just want to challenge who lost sight of the real world. Is it really me? I wouldn't be pushing to give the chocolates and PUSH the gifts to someone who said "no"in the first place.

Anyway Jigger, Cheers.

[jacktrip]

the real problem here may be that you have to walk by these people, receptionist, security, whatever and deal with them at all each time you enter or exit your home (do they ask guests for id? that's another thread).

that's why i always opt for a house or more independent living arrangement.

[Bender]

Maybe she was expecting 350 per head.

But if she owns the building, that means she have assets worth few dozens millions baht. She might be actually more rich than you

and you treat her like a destitute.

Edited July 18, 2012 by Bender

[besth]

For the owner and receptionist they probably saw their actions as "nam jai" (=genuine act of kindness or help, without anything expected in return). Giving money for such an act, particularly when repeatedly refused may sort of "cheapen it".

For the owner of the building there might well be the value of "bunkhun" in play, as well as seniority. The owner does a favour, and this "bunkhun" should create a feeling of gratitude or indebtedness in the one on the receiving end. In addition bunkhun is between people of different status levels, where the higher person behaves in a kind way to those lower than them. Status-wise the building owner is higher than you, probably older, more money as they own the building. A master or richer person tips a servant with money, not the other way round. Insisting on giving money, might have been looked at as insisting on a higher position in society, when you should simply have been acknowledging the kindness of someone higher. I guess flipping it round in western terms it might have come across as "patronising" is the nearest equivalent I can think of. To an owner of several buildings, who is probably wealthy THB 1,000 is probably not much and may leave them wondering who do you think I am?. In the same way, you wouldn't give a dollar tip say to a multi-millionaire, a lord/lady, or someone else viewed as "higher" in society in the west who say gave you a lift - not a great analogy though.

As for the chocolates. You should present to the owner in person, not thru the receptionist. It's also possible that she was on the receiving end of the owners reaction to your family's actions, and she was on the receiving end of who do they think they are. You've unwittingly put her in an uncomfortable position.

I fully understand your family's intentions. It's the type of thing my parents would also do to be honest.

What to do differently. If someone refuses money, and you ask again and they refuse it, then leave it - respect their position. Money to someone higher than you in return for kindness is not the right way to show gratitude. That's what the higher person might do to the lower. A nicer touch would have been something personal or something from your home country at a later point in time.

The above are all just possibilities, and there could be any other number of reasons, Thai related or not.

Personally, what I would do, is in a day or so, have a word with the receptionist. Along the lines of, I'm sorry I think we may have put you in a difficult situation. Our customs are a bit different. Could you help me understand what we could have done better, and what a Thai person would have done. They might get embarassed, and feel a little uncomfortable, but they will understand you are saying sorry, and your customs are different. You may even build a friendship with someone you can ask these things.

Next time you see the owner, you might want to "wai" them. Lower person wais first showing you recognise their higher status. Thank them again for helping your family, and add that I hope you weren't offended by the mother-in-laws insistence, as she doesn't understand Thai customs. Throw in a few phrases around how your MIL kept saying that Thai people are so kind..... etc

Bottom line: They are the only ones who know how your actions were received and why. Showing humility and apologising will go a long way for barbaric foreigners. Besides they won't want you to feel uncomfortable so will likely quick want to make you feel better! We all make mistakes in different cultures, so as you're doing recognise you made one, and see if you can now use it to build bridges and relationships.

Edit: BTW 5 Ferrero Rocher is a bit of a cheap gift and nothing special - cost what say 100 baht. Now if the owner had already given the 1,000 baht to the receptionist to give back, do you think she would really want to pass on 100 baht chocolates?. She'd be uncomfortable and thinking what have I done to deserve this

Best explanation I have seen.

One of my early days staff stopped at a roti guy on the road. "delicius" she said (it was, that's beside the point). I obviously (?) my habiit, insisted to pay. So much that even if the guy selling initially didn't want to take my money and was looking to get the 40 baht from my staff, I "succeeded" into forcing him to take my money.

I was lucky enough at that time to learn a lesson. common sense really. my staff had been educated in Australia and she dared to speak openly to me, otherwise I probably would have taken a lot longer to understand.

What she said was very humbling and very well said: 20 baht is nothing for you. it is nothing for me too. We like you but because of that you must sometimes let us do things for you too.

Put me in my place for sure.

[MidoriApple]

I am also confused with this situation, though I am Thai.

To give tip to people who make nice service is normal practice in Thailand.

So no wrong that the OP gave something as compliment which is tip, although it is a box of Chocolate.

I am wondering one thing, since OP said the reception girl is not much fluent in English,

OP has right understanding OR NOT that the man who drove your GF's fam is the building owner.

Usually, the rich (if) should have some more staffs to make this taking care, he may not necessary to do this himself.

if the driver is not exact the owner, then to give that man 1000baht and to give the receptnist girl only 5 pcs of Ferrero,

This is so difference.

OP must not see the driver made better service, he used all work equipments doing his duties.

They worked decent both. maybe she felt this is unfair.

If I were OP, i will just forget about it, nothing wrong made. Good intention!

But if OP really needs to know what's wrong, best is to speak with the owner, i am sure he can make better explanation.

[mrtoad]

Probably the Tuk Tuk mafia in Phuket got wind of someone taking business from them.

[chrisinth]

I know this is not everybody's view, but if I was in a similar situation as far as accomodation went, after 11 months of living there I am fairly certain that I would be on first name terms with the receptionist (s) in the first place. It takes seconds to say hello and smile in passing. Don't have to be fluent in any language for that to happen.

As for what happened to the OP, I have never been in a situation like that, and I do feel for the OP as to the confusion of the story so far. It has developed into a scenario that is uncomfortable for both parties and that needs to be addressed. As has been suggested, get a third party to translate (if necessary) and politely confront the receptionist to see what you have done wrong. I doubt this would worsen the situation any more than it is at the moment with mistrust & confusion from both parties. Explain what you were trying to do with emphasis on not meaning to offend anyone.

But I think, IMHO, that even considering a move, if you are enjoying living where you are, over this is really OTT. It will work out. If you feel compelled that you do have to move, remember to get friendly with your new receptionist..............

[swanks]

Chuf hat for a game of soldiers! If it sulks , it sulks.

They usually tell me say 350Bt then claim they said 3500Bt!

You got a result. Eat the chocks!

[SuneeTH]

I can do with the 1,000 baht and chocolates.

I don't mind accepting it even though I have done nothing for you.

[F1fanatic]

For the owner and receptionist they probably saw their actions as "nam jai" (=genuine act of kindness or help, without anything expected in return). Giving money for such an act, particularly when repeatedly refused may sort of "cheapen it".

For the owner of the building there might well be the value of "bunkhun" in play, as well as seniority. The owner does a favour, and this "bunkhun" should create a feeling of gratitude or indebtedness in the one on the receiving end. In addition bunkhun is between people of different status levels, where the higher person behaves in a kind way to those lower than them. Status-wise the building owner is higher than you, probably older, more money as they own the building. A master or richer person tips a servant with money, not the other way round. Insisting on giving money, might have been looked at as insisting on a higher position in society, when you should simply have been acknowledging the kindness of someone higher. I guess flipping it round in western terms it might have come across as "patronising" is the nearest equivalent I can think of. To an owner of several buildings, who is probably wealthy THB 1,000 is probably not much and may leave them wondering who do you think I am?. In the same way, you wouldn't give a dollar tip say to a multi-millionaire, a lord/lady, or someone else viewed as "higher" in society in the west who say gave you a lift - not a great analogy though.

As for the chocolates. You should present to the owner in person, not thru the receptionist. It's also possible that she was on the receiving end of the owners reaction to your family's actions, and she was on the receiving end of who do they think they are. You've unwittingly put her in an uncomfortable position.

I fully understand your family's intentions. It's the type of thing my parents would also do to be honest.

What to do differently. If someone refuses money, and you ask again and they refuse it, then leave it - respect their position. Money to someone higher than you in return for kindness is not the right way to show gratitude. That's what the higher person might do to the lower. A nicer touch would have been something personal or something from your home country at a later point in time.

The above are all just possibilities, and there could be any other number of reasons, Thai related or not.

Personally, what I would do, is in a day or so, have a word with the receptionist. Along the lines of, I'm sorry I think we may have put you in a difficult situation. Our customs are a bit different. Could you help me understand what we could have done better, and what a Thai person would have done. They might get embarassed, and feel a little uncomfortable, but they will understand you are saying sorry, and your customs are different. You may even build a friendship with someone you can ask these things.

Next time you see the owner, you might want to "wai" them. Lower person wais first showing you recognise their higher status. Thank them again for helping your family, and add that I hope you weren't offended by the mother-in-laws insistence, as she doesn't understand Thai customs. Throw in a few phrases around how your MIL kept saying that Thai people are so kind..... etc

Bottom line: They are the only ones who know how your actions were received and why. Showing humility and apologising will go a long way for barbaric foreigners. Besides they won't want you to feel uncomfortable so will likely quick want to make you feel better! We all make mistakes in different cultures, so as you're doing recognise you made one, and see if you can now use it to build bridges and relationships.

Edit: BTW 5 Ferrero Rocher is a bit of a cheap gift and nothing special - cost what say 100 baht. Now if the owner had already given the 1,000 baht to the receptionist to give back, do you think she would really want to pass on 100 baht chocolates?. She'd be uncomfortable and thinking what have I done to deserve this

Best explanation I have seen.

One of my early days staff stopped at a roti guy on the road. "delicius" she said (it was, that's beside the point). I obviously (?) my habiit, insisted to pay. So much that even if the guy selling initially didn't want to take my money and was looking to get the 40 baht from my staff, I "succeeded" into forcing him to take my money.

I was lucky enough at that time to learn a lesson. common sense really. my staff had been educated in Australia and she dared to speak openly to me, otherwise I probably would have taken a lot longer to understand.

What she said was very humbling and very well said: 20 baht is nothing for you. it is nothing for me too. We like you but because of that you must sometimes let us do things for you too.

Put me in my place for sure.

Interesting thread.

My landlord's mother (via another family member that speaks English), often gives me small gifts.

Recently, she gave me the most delicious 'biscuits' and, asking where I could buy them (from the English speaking family member), was told they were home-made.

I've been racking my brains trying to think of a suitable gift for the mother to reciprocate, and was thinking of a small box of Belgian chocs, but am now terrified that she will find this offensive!

[tw25rw]

Take your tip/gifts back, then give them something at Christmas, which they know is when farang give presents. Enough time will have passed for it to reasonably not be linked to the current dilemma.

[Tchooptip]

For the owner and receptionist they probably saw their actions as "nam jai" (=genuine act of kindness or help, without anything expected in return). Giving money for such an act, particularly when repeatedly refused may sort of "cheapen it".

For the owner of the building there might well be the value of "bunkhun" in play, as well as seniority. The owner does a favour, and this "bunkhun" should create a feeling of gratitude or indebtedness in the one on the receiving end. In addition bunkhun is between people of different status levels, where the higher person behaves in a kind way to those lower than them. Status-wise the building owner is higher than you, probably older, more money as they own the building. A master or richer person tips a servant with money, not the other way round. Insisting on giving money, might have been looked at as insisting on a higher position in society, when you should simply have been acknowledging the kindness of someone higher. I guess flipping it round in western terms it might have come across as "patronising" is the nearest equivalent I can think of. To an owner of several buildings, who is probably wealthy THB 1,000 is probably not much and may leave them wondering who do you think I am?. In the same way, you wouldn't give a dollar tip say to a multi-millionaire, a lord/lady, or someone else viewed as "higher" in society in the west who say gave you a lift - not a great analogy though.

As for the chocolates. You should present to the owner in person, not thru the receptionist. It's also possible that she was on the receiving end of the owners reaction to your family's actions, and she was on the receiving end of who do they think they are. You've unwittingly put her in an uncomfortable position.

I fully understand your family's intentions. It's the type of thing my parents would also do to be honest.

What to do differently. If someone refuses money, and you ask again and they refuse it, then leave it - respect their position. Money to someone higher than you in return for kindness is not the right way to show gratitude. That's what the higher person might do to the lower. A nicer touch would have been something personal or something from your home country at a later point in time.

The above are all just possibilities, and there could be any other number of reasons, Thai related or not.

Personally, what I would do, is in a day or so, have a word with the receptionist. Along the lines of, I'm sorry I think we may have put you in a difficult situation. Our customs are a bit different. Could you help me understand what we could have done better, and what a Thai person would have done. They might get embarassed, and feel a little uncomfortable, but they will understand you are saying sorry, and your customs are different. You may even build a friendship with someone you can ask these things.

Next time you see the owner, you might want to "wai" them. Lower person wais first showing you recognise their higher status. Thank them again for helping your family, and add that I hope you weren't offended by the mother-in-laws insistence, as she doesn't understand Thai customs. Throw in a few phrases around how your MIL kept saying that Thai people are so kind..... etc

Bottom line: They are the only ones who know how your actions were received and why. Showing humility and apologising will go a long way for barbaric foreigners. Besides they won't want you to feel uncomfortable so will likely quick want to make you feel better! We all make mistakes in different cultures, so as you're doing recognise you made one, and see if you can now use it to build bridges and relationships.

Edit: BTW 5 Ferrero Rocher is a bit of a cheap gift and nothing special - cost what say 100 baht. Now if the owner had already given the 1,000 baht to the receptionist to give back, do you think she would really want to pass on 100 baht chocolates?. She'd be uncomfortable and thinking what have I done to deserve this

Fortunately you are here That is real positive thinking, great post

[mca]

BTW 5 Ferrero Rocher is a bit of a cheap gift and nothing special - cost what say 100 baht.

If it's good enough for an ambassador's reception it's good enough for anyone I reckon.

Edited July 19, 2012 by mca

[MrHammer]

They both helped you

They know each others

They are going to comment on who got what, (TIT) every bat of eyelid of Farang are reported discussed and analyzed.

Why did you give such a disproportionate gifts to each of them ? (1000 thb/ few chocolates)

He's a building owner (rich) making a profit renting you apartments and as an employee she gets cheap chocolates?

it sounds strange to me too

I too would feel that you were not happy with me, if you gave 1000 to someone else and 50 thb worth of chocolate to me

This is exactly how I read this situation and I'm very suprised others haven't picked up on it. You gave 1000 baht to the owner and a box of chocolate to the receptionist. The receptionist is greedy and wants some money as well aka. 'why does he get to have 1000 baht when I don't'. Then she runs a little guilt trip on OP, but OP and girlfriend are too dense to understand.

Btw, if the owner wanted to do a good deed he wouldn't have charged any money at all. When I left Bangkok the last time, my landlord drove me from Sukhumvit to the airport and paid for a full meal and drinks at the airport, which was a bit awkward since I'd only spoken to him twice in a year But he was quite wealthy, had lived and worked in the US and obviously wanted to show that he wasn't a typical Thai peasent (including not so subtly telling me about his Thai Airways girlfriend and her 75K+ salary). So when the business owner charges you 350 baht it's not done solely as a favor. Of course he is going to keep going around unless someone tells him not to bother, since that's what taxis will do as well as they hate having to say they can't find it as this is a clear loss of face (perceived incompetence).

Basically, this story was about a receptionist girl who got jealous she didn't get paid. Nothing cultural about it. Give her 1000 baht and you're in again.

[Heng]

All wrong. What you should have done is carefully unwrapped each Ferrero chocolate ball and held them in your right hand (which in bum gun countries is the 'clean' hand)... You have to do this quickly before they start melting as that would be a serious social faux pas (fox pass).... You then quickly hand feed one chocolate ball to each individual involved in that particular situation in order of age, saying 'Krop Krun Krap' in each instance. Unlike most local situations, there is no need to 'wai' in this ritual. If age cannot be determined, you go by proximity.