Western Women

easttech · January 15, 2006

Since few weeks ago I have come across to some post against Western women attitude, look, lifestyle....
Well I have been brought in a western family, my parents education was based on trying to achive my little dreams, be honest, speak out what i think, fight about matters which find unfair, respect and so on...

It seems that to know what we want, to try to achieve our little dreams, wanting to be independent from our partners, speak out when we think something is not fair make us less desirable to some western men who have found that a more docile woman is what they want. Fair enough...But why this bashing against us...

Well most of you have had bad past experience with western woman...but why the personal experience of some of you have to do with the rest of us? Was she like a devil and were you a little angel, blameless in the break up of the relationship? Have you never behave like a complete idiot and did things which you knew were not right? Well I had bad sentimental experience with westerners men but I am not going to bash you or critize you...

one ot the thai posters said that he will never critize thai girls...why do you critize us? Why do you show with your words an image of us that in my case is far from the truth?

Why so many comparison between Western and Thai female? Do you know us all as to speak so general about certain group within the population?

One of the posters refers to one of my comments as to be a Feminist police...if you ever meet me you will discover that i am far from that...but i can tell you that if a i think that something is not fair under my point of view i am going to tell you what I think...

Some men have state that thai girls are more feminine...again I consider myself and most of my friends quite femenine...

Well I am not a bricklayer Kind of woman but I will lay a brick if is need to be done, I am not a wife-mother for my partner but will try to support my partner when he needs to, i am not in need to be save but i like to find protection, i can live independently but i want to find someone to love...so what am I?

I AM A WOMAN and some of you should try to find out before call us all those horribles adjectives and describing us a some kind of horrible creature....

Are you a western? Your english does not appear to be that of a western women.

Glauka · January 15, 2006

Thank you but not...
I will not marry to a married man...

but i feel flattered nonetheless quote]

I will cancel the caterers then It's a shame, as I like a lady who wears a blue scarf with such panache .....you also bear a remarkable resemblance.........to me

but I think farang women haters is not a good thing so if having this kind of debates we all can learn something is good and maybe we will have less farang women haters in the future...(if there is not bashing and insulting going on of course)
Maybe i can at least understand why they think like that...

maybe not...

At the risk of being patronising (my dear ) I see that you have been on TV for nearly a year - I have been here for less than a month........IMO you are being hopeful with your wishes!

I will put you down as being an eternal optimist - no bad thing of course.

Well I am back...

Hey don´t cancel the caterers we can still have the party ...

Thank you Jersey...

Yes i am very optimistic...I don´t believe in lost causes...eventhough there are few out there...

I am spanish easttech...

That´s to be a western right?

There are millions upon millions of farang-farang couples & sucessful marraiges & only a small percentage of farang man-thai women relationships. Of this small percent most do not hate farang women, so when they (farang women haters) speak as a majority on this website, in fact, they are only a minority & a very very small one in the scheme of things.

Exactly - couldn't have put it better myself!

Glauka honey don't take these things personally. The vast majority of guys married to Thai women got married to them because they fell in love with them - not because they were a certain type of women.

Yep there is a minority of guys who think that Thai women are a certain way and probably actively sought a Thai women to marry for that reason. I personally think they have under estimated Thai women who from my experiance are a lot more savvy than they let their men think.

Anyway don't stress about it - just be thankful that you didn't get landed with the minority looking for a 1950's housewife!

i think the attitude of western men to western women after meeting with asian women change because the asian women are still women and not striving to be men.

A women is a women - regardless of how YOU think she should behave!!!

I think the last think women are striving to be are men - we realised long ago we can do things just as well ourselves. Just because she has the audacity to have a good job, have a house , a car, holidays and shock gasp horror want to/has children don't mean she wants to be a man! I personally can't think of anything worse!!

Thanks

Edited January 15, 2006 by Glauka

caledonia · January 15, 2006

Yeah Glauka you are def Western. Last time I checked, having English as a first language wasn't a requirement of being a Westener - or I am sure the rest of Europe might have something to say about it!!

suegha · January 15, 2006

As with every post it's best to avoid generalisations and stereotypes. Men are men and women are women the world over. If people choose to bash whoever, it is based on their individual and personal prejudices and levels of self-esteem. I used to feel angered towards such people and now I just feel pity. Glauka, just be yourself, you seem like a good person to me regardless of whether you are male, female, western or eastern! I enjoy your posts but maybe this was one destined to grief!

khall64au · January 15, 2006

SORRY...............!!! As much as I respect all of you who post here in these farang women vs farang men topics; how many of you actually live in Thailand and FEEL the REAL thing? Argue all you want, but your arguments are not valid as far as I am concerned. LIVE IT, FEEL IT! COMMENT!!!!!!!!!

Glauka · January 15, 2006

As with every post it's best to avoid generalisations and stereotypes. Men are men and women are women the world over. If people choose to bash whoever, it is based on their individual and personal prejudices and levels of self-esteem. I used to feel angered towards such people and now I just feel pity. Glauka, just be yourself, you seem like a good person to me regardless of whether you are male, female, western or eastern! I enjoy your posts but maybe this was one destined to grief!

>Nice one suegha...

no this one was not destined to grief...just to show what I think about bashing us and estate the reasons why i think is not fair to go against our feminity that´s all.

I wanted to know posters view about the matter...and so far there are not many who think that western woman are not as femenine as thai. Also seem that most agree that generalisation are unfair.

Jersey_UK · January 15, 2006

The vast majority of guys married to Thai women got married to them because they fell in love with them - not because they were a certain type of women.
Yep there is a minority of guys who think that Thai women are a certain way and probably actively sought a Thai women to marry for that reason. I personally think they have under estimated Thai women who from my experiance are a lot more savvy than they let their men think.

From my experiance this is pretty acurate, although I think most blokes quickly do become aware that the Thai woman is "savvy" even though some fellas may start off thinking that what they are getting into was completely different from a "Mrs Farang". Although the way a woman behaves and operates in Thailand (and particularly in public) is a lot different from Farangland......... overall IME they are not fundamently that different. Although I think in general they ARE better at "managing" blokes / letting him THINK he is the boss. (Obviously I have not been in a relationship with every woman in Farangland and Thailand! - so this is purely IME!!!)

IME a women is always 100% a women - regardless of where she comes from..... Thailand, England, Timbucktoo (or even Spain ). They might express themselves differently, but they still all "do yer nut in" when THEY want to..................and I wouldn't have it any other way .........or be without them

A while back I was chatting to a good freind here about the Missus (actually we are not quite legal yet - but that is another story), I was starting to explain that I never came to Thailand looking for a wife (24/7 drinking.......etc ) and that once I had been around a bit was 100% certain that I would never marry a Thai woman - mainly down to lacking a shared past / cultural history - but that with the Missus I would marry her even if she was not Thai.

But I then thought about this statement, and I realised that her being Thai is what defines a lot of her (good and bad). So I guess if she was not Thai I wouldn't marry her, but being Thai in itself is not the reason I am marrying her. I wish I could explain this better.

khall64au · January 15, 2006

As with every post it's best to avoid generalisations and stereotypes. Men are men and women are women the world over. If people choose to bash whoever, it is based on their individual and personal prejudices and levels of self-esteem. I used to feel angered towards such people and now I just feel pity. Glauka, just be yourself, you seem like a good person to me regardless of whether you are male, female, western or eastern! I enjoy your posts but maybe this was one destined to grief!

>Nice one suegha...

no this one was not destined to grief...just to show what I think about bashing us and estate the reasons why i think is not fair to go against our feminity that´s all.

I wanted to know posters view about the matter...and so far there are not many who think that western woman are not as femenine as thai. Also seem that most agree that generalisation are unfair.

In actual fact, Glauka........... western women are so very desirable and don't you forget it. Cancel the argument, there is NO ARGUMENT!!!!!!!! Stop arguing!

Glauka · January 15, 2006

SORRY...............!!! As much as I respect all of you who post here in these farang women vs farang men topics; how many of you actually live in Thailand and FEEL the REAL thing? Argue all you want, but your arguments are not valid as far as I am concerned. LIVE IT, FEEL IT! COMMENT!!!!!!!!!

sorry khall but i disagree. What bashing farang women have to do with living in Thailand? Can´t I put my opinion as a western woman that femity and being a woman has nothing to do with nationality?Do I have to marry a thai girl to find out that everything depends on the people?

I think this topic is very broad and has to be with oneself experiences, ideas, feelings...

What is the REAL thing? What do you need to have a valuable argument?

As with every post it's best to avoid generalisations and stereotypes. Men are men and women are women the world over. If people choose to bash whoever, it is based on their individual and personal prejudices and levels of self-esteem. I used to feel angered towards such people and now I just feel pity. Glauka, just be yourself, you seem like a good person to me regardless of whether you are male, female, western or eastern! I enjoy your posts but maybe this was one destined to grief!

>Nice one suegha...

no this one was not destined to grief...just to show what I think about bashing us and estate the reasons why i think is not fair to go against our feminity that´s all.

I wanted to know posters view about the matter...and so far there are not many who think that western woman are not as femenine as thai. Also seem that most agree that generalisation are unfair.

In actual fact, Glauka........... western women are so very desirable and don't you forget it. Cancel the argument, there is NO ARGUMENT!!!!!!!! Stop arguing!

That´s a valuable argument Khall!!!!

The vast majority of guys married to Thai women got married to them because they fell in love with them - not because they were a certain type of women.
Yep there is a minority of guys who think that Thai women are a certain way and probably actively sought a Thai women to marry for that reason. I personally think they have under estimated Thai women who from my experiance are a lot more savvy than they let their men think.

From my experiance this is pretty acurate, although I think most blokes quickly do become aware that the Thai woman is "savvy" even though some fellas may start off thinking that what they are getting into was completely different from a "Mrs Farang". Although the way a woman behaves and operates in Thailand (and particularly in public) is a lot different from Farangland......... overall IME they are not fundamently that different. Although I think in general they ARE better at "managing" blokes / letting him THINK he is the boss. (Obviously I have not been in a relationship with every woman in Farangland and Thailand! - so this is purely IME!!!)

IME a women is always 100% a women - regardless of where she comes from..... Thailand, England, Timbucktoo (or even Spain ). They might express themselves differently, but they still all "do yer nut in" when THEY want to..................and I wouldn't have it any other way .........or be without them

A while back I was chatting to a good freind here about the Missus (actually we are not quite legal yet - but that is another story), I was starting to explain that I never came to Thailand looking for a wife (24/7 drinking.......etc ) and that once I had been around a bit was 100% certain that I would never marry a Thai woman - mainly down to lacking a shared past / cultural history - but that with the Missus I would marry her even if she was not Thai.

But I then thought about this statement, and I realised that her being Thai is what defines a lot of her (good and bad). So I guess if she was not Thai I wouldn't marry her, but being Thai in itself is not the reason I am marrying her. I wish I could explain this better.

I understand what you mean

khall64au · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

Glauka · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

BTW I like your bra!!!

caledonia · January 15, 2006

Although the way a woman behaves and operates in Thailand (and particularly in public) is a lot different from Farangland......... overall IME they are not fundamently that different. Although I think in general they ARE better at "managing" blokes / letting him THINK he is the boss. (Obviously I have not been in a relationship with every woman in Farangland and Thailand! - so this is purely IME!!!)

I totally agree with you there - especially the part about managing blokes and letting them think he is boss - so so true of so many cultures.

I am married to a Nigerian and the first time I went there I found the way some of my sister-in laws obeyed/respected/followed their husbandsa bit of an eye opener. I was thinking how on earth did I get into this one!!!

Then as I got to know them, they let me in on the 'inside info' and I have to say a lot of what they do is ego massaging when in actual fact they are fully in control! . It actually cracks me up now that I see the flip side - hey even I am guilty of it now. Key - decison make but let him think he made the decision!!

When I actually thought about it, it was no different to how my grandparents acted. Maybe they didn't pass the skills down to us younger generations very well!!

So perhaps some won't agree but I def think you are spot on with your view there

khall64au · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

BTW I like your bra!!!

The bra sucks honey...... It was a joke, am sure you know that! My life is so much more interesting than the bra, am sure you know that!

Nam Kao · January 15, 2006

>>>Glauka

Having read your posts, I have one question...........

Will you marry me?

Make sure you a get a pre-nup or risk a trip to the cleaners

Divorce rate is 50-60% and the laws are stacked against u heavily

Glauka · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

BTW I like your bra!!!

The bra sucks honey...... It was a joke, am sure you know that! My life is so much more interesting than the bra, am sure you know that!

i was also joking and i am sure you knew that too!

I have never implied that your life is not interesting...or...less than a bra...

I was just refering to your nice picture in some other topic... but it seem you misunderstood me...

Although the way a woman behaves and operates in Thailand (and particularly in public) is a lot different from Farangland......... overall IME they are not fundamently that different. Although I think in general they ARE better at "managing" blokes / letting him THINK he is the boss. (Obviously I have not been in a relationship with every woman in Farangland and Thailand! - so this is purely IME!!!)

I totally agree with you there - especially the part about managing blokes and letting them think he is boss - so so true of so many cultures.

I am married to a Nigerian and the first time I went there I found the way some of my sister-in laws obeyed/respected/followed their husbandsa bit of an eye opener. I was thinking how on earth did I get into this one!!!

Then as I got to know them, they let me in on the 'inside info' and I have to say a lot of what they do is ego massaging when in actual fact they are fully in control! . It actually cracks me up now that I see the flip side - hey even I am guilty of it now. Key - decison make but let him think he made the decision!!

When I actually thought about it, it was no different to how my grandparents acted. Maybe they didn't pass the skills down to us younger generations very well!!

So perhaps some won't agree but I def think you are spot on with your view there

OMG I have so much to learn then!

khall64au · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

BTW I like your bra!!!

The bra sucks honey...... It was a joke, am sure you know that! My life is so much more interesting than the bra, am sure you know that!

i was also joking and i am sure you knew that too!

I have never implied that your life is not interesting...or...less than a bra...

I was just refering to your nice picture in some other topic... but it seem you misunderstood me...

OK let's wind the party up..... Glauka, Glauka, Glauka will you please make me a Sambuca? We are on different planes of thought but no offences taken! And, BTW DO NOT FALL FOR Nam Khao's marriage proposal.... I swear he is is a cobra in the grass... DO NOT TRUST HIM!!!!!

caledonia · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

BTW I like your bra!!!

The bra sucks honey...... It was a joke, am sure you know that! My life is so much more interesting than the bra, am sure you know that!

i was also joking and i am sure you knew that too!

I have never implied that your life is not interesting...or...less than a bra...

I was just refering to your nice picture in some other topic... but it seem you misunderstood me...

Although the way a woman behaves and operates in Thailand (and particularly in public) is a lot different from Farangland......... overall IME they are not fundamently that different. Although I think in general they ARE better at "managing" blokes / letting him THINK he is the boss. (Obviously I have not been in a relationship with every woman in Farangland and Thailand! - so this is purely IME!!!)

I totally agree with you there - especially the part about managing blokes and letting them think he is boss - so so true of so many cultures.

I am married to a Nigerian and the first time I went there I found the way some of my sister-in laws obeyed/respected/followed their husbandsa bit of an eye opener. I was thinking how on earth did I get into this one!!!

Then as I got to know them, they let me in on the 'inside info' and I have to say a lot of what they do is ego massaging when in actual fact they are fully in control! . It actually cracks me up now that I see the flip side - hey even I am guilty of it now. Key - decison make but let him think he made the decision!!

When I actually thought about it, it was no different to how my grandparents acted. Maybe they didn't pass the skills down to us younger generations very well!!

So perhaps some won't agree but I def think you are spot on with your view there

OMG I have so much to learn then!

Not at all - practice makes perfect as they say and in the meantime just remember a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!!!

Glauka · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

BTW I like your bra!!!

The bra sucks honey...... It was a joke, am sure you know that! My life is so much more interesting than the bra, am sure you know that!

i was also joking and i am sure you knew that too!

I have never implied that your life is not interesting...or...less than a bra...

I was just refering to your nice picture in some other topic... but it seem you misunderstood me...

OK let's wind the party up..... Glauka, Glauka, Glauka will you please make me a Sambuca? We are on different planes of thought but no offences taken! And, BTW DO NOT FALL FOR Nam Khao's marriage proposal.... I swear he is is a cobra in the grass... DO NOT TRUST HIM!!!!!

I know that we are in different planes of though but that doesn´t make me to like you less Khall

I though Nam Kao was warning Jersey againts his marrying proporsal to me...

Not at all - practice makes perfect as they say and in the meantime just remember a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!!!

but I like to ride bicycles...

Mighty Mouse · January 15, 2006

Here is the original woman basher. Blame him.

Nam Kao · January 15, 2006

>>>And, BTW DO NOT FALL FOR Nam Khao's marriage proposal.... I swear he is is a cobra in the grass... DO NOT TRUST HIM!!!!!

mai pen rai, my cobra is on a thai diet

caledonia · January 15, 2006

Not at all - practice makes perfect as they say and in the meantime just remember a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!!!

but I like to ride bicycles...

yeah but Goldfish don't!!!

khall64au · January 15, 2006

Giime a break! Living here does my head in sometimes...... but, it's also very cool!

BTW I like your bra!!!

The bra sucks honey...... It was a joke, am sure you know that! My life is so much more interesting than the bra, am sure you know that!

i was also joking and i am sure you knew that too!

I have never implied that your life is not interesting...or...less than a bra...

I was just refering to your nice picture in some other topic... but it seem you misunderstood me...

OK let's wind the party up..... Glauka, Glauka, Glauka will you please make me a Sambuca? We are on different planes of thought but no offences taken! And, BTW DO NOT FALL FOR Nam Khao's marriage proposal.... I swear he is is a cobra in the grass... DO NOT TRUST HIM!!!!!

I know that we are in different planes of though but that doesn´t make me to like you less Khall

I though Nam Kao was warning Jersey againts his marrying proporsal to me...

Not at all - practice makes perfect as they say and in the meantime just remember a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!!!

but I like to ride bicycles...

opothai · January 16, 2006

this thread started off being quite constructive and interesting, with no name calling no women bashing just views and opinions. now with the extra influx of women, bashing the western man just where do you think you are taking it.

it definately did not start out as a woman bashing thread did it girls.

as i said in one of the previous posts some men have shortcomings and so do women, this thread was just exploring these shortcomings and trying to understand why and how and what has influenced your own opinions, and some of the replies from the women on this thread only strengthen already strained understanding between western men and western women in thailand.

so why don't we all just grow up open our horizons and move forward.

Gluaka

it was a good thread while it lasted and interesting, now i fear it will deteriorate into the usual cr+p

as i said before ' be yourself at all times ' and please do not turn into one of the male bashing fraternity you are far to educated for that.

Sir Burr · January 16, 2006

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

Professor Henry Higgins - 1964

Mighty Mouse · January 16, 2006

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"
Professor Henry Higgins - 1964

I wonder if the good professor had kateoy's in mind when he wrote that piece.

Ulysses G. · January 16, 2006

I have nothing against Western women.

My favorite women in the world are Western women of Asian (Oriental) origin. They think and converse like Westerners, but are often as feminine and lovely as their ancestors.

However, for some reason they tend to think of me as a dirty, lecherous old uncle or a decrepit, elderly has-been, rather than a knight in shining white armor.

Thai women are my second favorites!

Edited January 16, 2006 by Ulysses G.

Glauka · January 16, 2006

this thread started off being quite constructive and interesting, with no name calling no women bashing just views and opinions. now with the extra influx of women, bashing the western man just where do you think you are taking it.
it definately did not start out as a woman bashing thread did it girls.

as i said in one of the previous posts some men have shortcomings and so do women, this thread was just exploring these shortcomings and trying to understand why and how and what has influenced your own opinions, and some of the replies from the women on this thread only strengthen already strained understanding between western men and western women in thailand.

so why don't we all just grow up open our horizons and move forward.

Gluaka

it was a good thread while it lasted and interesting, now i fear it will deteriorate into the usual cr+p

as i said before ' be yourself at all times ' and please do not turn into one of the male bashing fraternity you are far to educated for that.

but I like to ride bicycles...

First of all i want to say that my above quote was not written to mean what it is suppose to mean. I haven´t realised about what else could it mean until i read it again this morning. What i wanted to say is I like bikes although i don´t need them. This was an anology that even though i don´t need a man to survive I like to share my life with someone i love.

O.k I understand opothai what you mean and I think you are right...I think after too many hours in front of a computer this is what is happen.It is not a excuse or justification but a explanation...

Don´t you worry I don´t want to bash men...but I must confess that i have done it when i have been hurt...I made all those horrible generalization that i much dislike. Now that my resentment is over I have to say that I don´t like to make generalization about men behaviour although I have to add that Sometimes i don´t understand male way of thinking...

Glauka · January 16, 2006

I have nothing against Western women.
My favorite women in the world are Western women of Asian (Oriental) origin. They think and converse like Westerners, but are often as feminine and lovely as their ancestors.

However, for some reason they tend to think of me as a dirty, lecherous old uncle or a decrepit, elderly has-been, rather than a knight in shining white armor.

Thai women are my second favorites!

The above comment imply that we western women are not femenine and that Thai women are not so clever/or mature...

This kind of comments are the ones I refer to...

Uma~~ · January 16, 2006

Do you know us all as to speak so general about certain group within the population?

.......

I AM A WOMAN and some of you should try to find out before call us all those horribles adjectives and describing us a some kind of horrible creature....

Most of the "bashing" usually comes after the "old, fat, ugly loser" with the "young Thai girl" rants.

I think the fact that so many are judged so quickly as "old, fat and ugly", and therefore "losers", is why many sense a difference with non-Western women.

TRUE, but do you know why?

Because we remind them of a society where they didn't, couldn't or were not willing to live life like a decnt human being and work hard for the love of a good woman which they could not because they had nothing to impress and no respect and therefore fell at the first hurdle.

They are annoyed at themselves and how they have turned out and they take it out on us as if we were on the paradisical territory that they had discovered and was rightly theirs, and they neanderthal as they are, they do not feel 100% at ease whoring and pratting about in the midst of women the same colour as their mother.

Thailand is seen by them as MALE TERRITORY.

Can I just add that the 'Us' in the first line applies to western women in Thailand and the 'them' applies to a particular breed of man that Thailand unfortunately attracts in droves.

There are even some men in Thailand who would agree with me here.

Edited January 16, 2006 by Uma~~

Old Croc · January 16, 2006

Do you know us all as to speak so general about certain group within the population?

.......

I AM A WOMAN and some of you should try to find out before call us all those horribles adjectives and describing us a some kind of horrible creature....

Most of the "bashing" usually comes after the "old, fat, ugly loser" with the "young Thai girl" rants.

I think the fact that so many are judged so quickly as "old, fat and ugly", and therefore "losers", is why many sense a difference with non-Western women.

TRUE, but do you know why?

Because we remind them of a society where they didn't, couldn't or were not willing to live life like a decnt human being and work hard for the love of a good woman which they could not because they had nothing to impress and no respect and therefore fell at the first hurdle.

They are annoyed at themselves and how they have turned out and they take it out on us as if we were on the paradisical territory that they had discovered and was rightly theirs, and they neanderthal as they are, they do not feel 100% at ease whoring and pratting about in the midst of women the same colour as their mother.

Thailand is seen by them as MALE TERRITORY.

Can I just add that the 'Us' in the first line applies to western women in Thailand and the 'them' applies to a particular breed of man that Thailand unfortunately attracts in droves.

There are even some men in Thailand who would agree with me here.

A very misanthropic post Uma. You didn't hold back did you? Apparently any male who lives and marries in Thailand wasn't willing to live life like a decent human being, couldn't get the love of a decent woman and are whoring, neanderthal pratts.

I don't think this was the message Glauka was trying give when she started this post.

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