Thai/catholic Wedding

[thai_time]

I am a catholic and my gf is Thai/buddhist. it is important for me and my family that i get married in a catholic church and it is important for my gf and her family that we have a traditional Thai ceremony. Has anyone ever been faced with this dilema? What was the solution? Any information on this subject would be helpfull.

Thanks

[phuketsiam]

A catholic priest in BKK offered to marry me and my Thai GF, her family were ok about it if we had the Thai ceremony too, why not do the Thai ceremony and replace the trip to amphur with a cathoilic wdding which legalises the marriage, I don't see any conflict as the Thai ceremony is not strictly a wedding (no legal status) its just being blessed by family and monks

[mittheimp]

i attended a catholic wedding between an english man and a thai woman quite recently. At the RC church near Sathorn (cant remember name). Bit bizare really as the ceremony was in Thai so the only people who could understand fully what was going on were likely to be the Buddhist guests, but maybe the catholics there enjoyed the candles pomp and ceromony and the seemingly eternal length of the event!!!!!!

I think they had a buddhist blessing a few days before the event.

[Rinrada]

You can get married on the top of Blackpool tower and profess whatever religon you want to indulge in but until you put your names in the book then you are still ...as it were single.

Marriage is a CIVIL ceremony and unless you are a member of the one of the weird "Tufty Club" outfits you wont have any problems.

Papes and Buddists are a bit similar anyway with all the holy water that gets thrown about.

K Wifes old head monk knows that I was a altar boy in a previous lifetime (now solidly ATHIST) but still trys to drown me whenever we pay a visit to her local WAT...I keep telling him that I aint having the short back and sides haircut...but he still persists....

They are however a nice bunch of old codgers...oops maybe not so old ...dont worry about it....

[tavarich]

My ex was a catholic. And when family of a catholic play the religion card it is a slippery path to hel_l for the non associated. SO best of luck.

[skylar]

You normally have both. You will be pretty tired after the day is over!

[Abandon]

as phuketsiam said - the Thai ceremony in a Wat is not the actual wedding .. it is a blessing by the monks. Even after you have this ceremony in Thailand, you are still not married. The marriage takes place in the registry office.

There is no problem from the Buddhist side about a Catholic being in the the Temple ceremony. It makes no difference what religion you are from thier point of view. The problem might come from your side however - are you happy to bow to the Buddha statue, or make anjali (palms together) to the monks? If you are uneasy doing this it will make the day uncomfortable for you, rather than the happiest day of your life (Because after all you will be married by the end of it and there will be no more happiness for you )

You can chat to the monks before hand and they should minimalise these things for you.

The Catholic marriage is similar - I attended one in the UK between a Catholic girl and a Buddhist groom. There were a few things the groom could not do but I forget what. But there was not a problem with him being married there.

So the best advice is: have a Thai temple ceremony. Register in the Thai registry office. Have a Catholic ceremony here or in your home country.

[Dragonman]

as phuketsiam said - the Thai ceremony in a Wat is not the actual wedding .. it is a blessing by the monks. Even after you have this ceremony in Thailand, you are still not married. The marriage takes place in the registry office.

There is no problem from the Buddhist side about a Catholic being in the the Temple ceremony. It makes no difference what religion you are from thier point of view. The problem might come from your side however - are you happy to bow to the Buddha statue, or make anjali (palms together) to the monks? If you are uneasy doing this it will make the day uncomfortable for you, rather than the happiest day of your life (Because after all you will be married by the end of it and there will be no more happiness for you )

You can chat to the monks before hand and they should minimalise these things for you.

The Catholic marriage is similar - I attended one in the UK between a Catholic girl and a Buddhist groom. There were a few things the groom could not do but I forget what. But there was not a problem with him being married there.

So the best advice is: have a Thai temple ceremony. Register in the Thai registry office. Have a Catholic ceremony here or in your home country.

I did not go to the Wat for any part of our ceremony, although my wife and some close relatives did go early in the morning. The monks came later to my wife's home where blessings took place. There is therefore no conflict in bowing to Buddha! Buddhism is far more flexible than some religions.

[Patex]

...There is therefore no conflict in bowing to Buddha! Buddhism is far more flexible than some religions.

Indeed!

The problem is, a Catholic can't be involved in an other religious cult. If he do so, he would be excommunicated immediately and have to scorch in hel_l forever .

Remind your steps! This is very serious, believe me, I'm German and we are pope!

[leisurely]

The only thing I think that may cause problems are the children. When me and Mr Man married aeons ago, he, as a practicing Catholic had to promise (in writing) that to the best of his ability he would bring our children up as catholic. this is not a problem for me as I don't believe any religion, but your intended may not be happy about it.

Good luck.

Sorry, that should have read if you are planning to have children! In addition, I would talk to a priest about it. The ones at Holy Redeemer in Ruamrudee seem OK.

[chanchao]

> I am a catholic and my gf is Thai/buddhist. it is important for me and my

> family that i get married in a catholic church and it is important for my gf

> and her family that we have a traditional Thai ceremony. Has anyone ever

> been faced with this dilema? What was the solution?

I've faced it, but it's far too easy to call it a dilemma. There's some nice catholic churches around.. Often they can accommodate a lot of people, not just in the church building but also on the grounds.. And you can serve them some drinks or snacks, whatever, as part of the other things you have planned for the day. Catholic churches seem pretty flexible in Thailand, guess they have to.

So just make sure that 'part' of your wedding day is the church episode. Thai guests/family are free to show up or not. Then after that, chances are you will still have some kind of general gathering. The actual registration at the district office does not have to be the same day, in fact it usually isn't the same day. That's just an administrative affair that you can do during lunch hour on a Tuesday afternoon or something.

Thai weddings often include a ceremony by a village elder or other respected person. It's important to note that this is not Buddhist per say. Separate from that, you may indeed also be blessed by 5 or 9 monks. That blessing would be religious in nature. You could even have it on a separate day if time is limited, or you like to keep that an all Thai affair.

As far as I know, the Catholic church chose not to ban people from doing Buddhist stuff but just claimed that it's a phylosophy, not religion, so therefore it would be okay. (Kind of like dressing up a tree mid-winter, or have some pagan egg painting fertility rite in the spring.. hey, it's a Christian thing people!) Easy. Honestly, Catholicism and (Thai) Buddhism mix very well indeed. Come to think of it, Catholicism mixes great with just about anything, and Buddhists generally arent the most uptight SOBs out there either.. Perfect match.

In the end though, for my own wedding, I just couldn't find the time to squeeze in a church episode, and also the old priest I knew who seriously was a good laugh quit or retired, the new person I thought was less of a riot. So I decided to merge things, got a friend to dress up as a priest (he's actually internet-church-ordained. ) and he did the vows and ring thing during the general party gathering after the Thai wedding, and he did so brilliantly. Everyone loved it, expecially including the Thais as it was just like a movie wedding. And the foreigners never knew he wasn't a practising priest fresh out of a church and that most of his priest experience was from dance contest appearances..

easy. Some things are only a problem when you want them to be. Does anyone need reminding that This Is Thailand? you can pretty much do whatever the *@#*$ you want. It's your wedding!

[jbowman1993]

A catholic priest in BKK offered to marry me and my Thai GF, her family were ok about it if we had the Thai ceremony too, why not do the Thai ceremony and replace the trip to amphur with a cathoilic wdding which legalises the marriage, I don't see any conflict as the Thai ceremony is not strictly a wedding (no legal status) its just being blessed by family and monks

How does a catholic wedding replace the trip to the amphur office. One is civil, the other religious, right?

[Dragonman]

A catholic priest in BKK offered to marry me and my Thai GF, her family were ok about it if we had the Thai ceremony too, why not do the Thai ceremony and replace the trip to amphur with a cathoilic wdding which legalises the marriage, I don't see any conflict as the Thai ceremony is not strictly a wedding (no legal status) its just being blessed by family and monks

How does a catholic wedding replace the trip to the amphur office. One is civil, the other religious, right?

Hey TiT. For a small fee the district official can be present at the Catholic Wedding in order for you to sign the Register at the church.

[Nickerelastic]

I am a catholic and my gf is Thai/buddhist. it is important for me and my family that i get married in a catholic church and it is important for my gf and her family that we have a traditional Thai ceremony. Has anyone ever been faced with this dilema? What was the solution? Any information on this subject would be helpfull.

Thanks

I suppose it depends where you are planning to marry. You say it's important for your gf and her family to have a traditional Thai ceremony.

Is it important to you to have a Roman Catholic service? If so you. Do know your "bride " to be will have to accede to all progeny being brought up in the Roman Catholic faith?

How strong is your faith?

How strong is your girlfriends faith?

Who are you trying to please?

[sadman]

Indeed!

The problem is, a Catholic can't be involved in an other religious cult. If he do so, he would be excommunicated immediately and have to scorch in hel_l forever .

Remind your steps! This is very serious, believe me, I'm German and we are pope!

I'm not so sure about the excommunication/hel_l stuff, but there are real problems. Firstly, as the Roman Catholic Church sees itself as the one true church, the party line is that they are not keen on 'mixed' marriages (a catholic and a non-catholic). They are even less keen on a marriage with a non-Christian, but it can be done (say, a catholic and a jew). However, my limited knowledge of Buddhism tells me that Buddhists do not believe in a God. I think this could be an insurmountable problem.

However, if it has been done before, then perhaps the priests in LOS are a bit more enlightened than in the UK. It is for this reason of inflexibility that I am considering retiring from Roman Catholicism and throwing my hat in with the Anglicans. I wonder if I'll get a pension......

[Rinrada]

...There is therefore no conflict in bowing to Buddha! Buddhism is far more flexible than some religions.

Indeed!

The problem is, a Catholic can't be involved in an other religious cult. If he do so, he would be excommunicated immediately and have to scorch in hel_l forever .

Remind your steps! This is very serious, believe me, I'm German and we are pope!

Not true....

The old catholic trade union like all other "clubs" dont like the idea of one of their members (especially if he/she is fully paid up)quitting and joining a rival organisation....socialising yes ..jacking them in ...err..no.

Marriage to a NON papist comes under the heading of...socialising.. although they tend to suggest that any offspring are brought up in what they consider the one and only "true faith"

One of the hardest things to do as an Ex-Pape is believe it or not (wrong expression)...is to be excomunicated...Galileo springs to mind and even he got the decision overturned ..o.. about 500 years after he died.

Following on to the teachings of Iggi Loyola (Order of jesuits) who came out with the old comment about "give me the child until the age of 7 and I will have him for life".....dear dear whit a to-do...this is /was all part of he setup to brainwash believers not to stray...or even THINK or QUESTION the unions rules...and what better way ...h-ll and damnation. ...ouch

If every catholic that said BOO to the organisation and for example decided that say using a condom was OK and was "outed" then the "pappa and his honchos would all too suddenly be looking for another job.

[thai_time]

Thanks for all the information. My girlfriend is aware that any children that we might have will be brought up catholic. It is important for me to be married in a catholic church. I know it is not really cool but i am a bit of a religious person. I have no problem with any other religions but i am not sure if i could bow infront of a statue of buddah. We will have the dual ceremony anyway, i am actually kind of looking forward to that part of it. Even tough i will burn in hel_l for it

Anyway thanks again.

[chanchao]

> i am not sure if i could bow infront of a statue of buddah.

Can you bow in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary? If so then I honestly can't see why you couldn't show Buddha/Buddhists the same respect.

If you were protestant -or another flavour of christianity, or Muslim for that matter- that seriously frowned upon praying to absolutely ANY statue or effigy then I can of course understand that. But Roman Catholics..? Should come pretty natural!

Cheers,

Chanchao