Guy Beating Up Girl In The Street. What To Do?

[mesquite]

There is a giant difference between not helping a traffic victim lying in the street and accosting a couple in the middle of a full-fledged argument. You are not risking life or limb by assisting an injured person. I would aid an injured person. I would not try to interfere in a personal dispute with two (or more) people who I don't know, don't know what they are arguing about and don't know if they would welcome outside interference or will turn their aggressiveness toward me.

I stopped to help 3 drunk Thais who fell off their motorbike. Nobody else was involved in their accident. I checked they were OK but when I moved to get back on my motorbike, one of them grabbed me and the 3 held me until a policeman came. I understood enough Thai to know he was accusing me of causing the accident. We all went to the police station. After around 3 hours of 'discussion' I managed to walk away from the police station as the drunks kept contradicting their version of events. To say I was bitter is an understatement. I'm not sure I would ever stop to help Thais at the scene of an accident. Thais always tell me not to stop as well as what happened to me seems to be a fairly routine occurrence.

Words of wisdom. Thanks for posting as it may help someone in the future.

[AnkertilBrewer]

Ah well, cowardice and excuses are close accomplices. There are always excuses to not help people. People here are even bending over backwards to make a person who would extend themselves to help another into some sort of self-aggrandizing, overweight, jerk, who is trying to score.

If something were to happen to me, I would want people to help and not walk away rehearsing their excuses about how they tried to help a Farang before but he was drunk and swore and them and took swings at them, blah, blah, blah.

Sure, there are going to be instances where it is NOT a good idea at all to get involved, especially if nobody is in critical need of help. If a couple is bickering, of course, one doesn't need to puff up one's white self and stride in there acting like a hero. But there were some wonderful suggestions in here about taking a picture making a phone call, or pretending to.

Lastly, the stuff about the bad Thai girls. Um, this is something I've heard a lot, and I would just have to clarify that, if one happens to be meeting the wrong sort of Thai girls, so to speak, in the wrong sort of establishments, than it is not fair to make blanket judgements about Thai girls based on that experience. It would be more accurate to say that "prostitutes" behave in a certain manner, that to say that "Thai girls" do, IF that's the type of Thai girl one is talking about, in which case one would need to make provisions for the type of people she has to deal with on a regular basis, which are extenuating circumstances.

To make generalizations about Thai women/girls based on exposure to bar girls or similar, is like going to Las Vegas and then expounding on "American women."

You might as well go live in a temple, and then make generalizations about Thai men. Er, they always go about in orange robes and take walks in the morning. They are damned religious, and their favorite hairstyle is a shaved head.

One might get a better idea of Thai women/girls from one's students (if one is a teacher, AND one's students aren't bar girls), one's coworkers (if one works in a company…), or Thais working in businesses one frequents (er, other than bars…).

The typical mythical story of the helpless old Farang who innocently hooked up with a Thai (bar) girl a third his age, bought a house for her, and then got ripped off… well, it might not have happened if he'd hooked up with an educated Thai woman within his own age-bracket. I mean, if you hooked up with a woman half your age in the West, you and everyone else would be expected she was only in it for the money and was going to take you for a ride.

Just my 2 cents. We all just see one patch of the big picture.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

...women

When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Not really.

I don't think I feel sorry for anyone to be honest.

[beb]

Ah well, cowardice and excuses are close accomplices. There are always excuses to not help people. People here are even bending over backwards to make a person who would extend themselves to help another into some sort of self-aggrandizing, overweight, jerk, who is trying to score.

I get the point you are making but to your point, the idea that one should be careful before inserting themselves into a violent situation involving people whose language they don't speak and whose culture they are not fully familiar with is not necessarily based on cowardice or making excuses but could very well be the best choice in different circumstances. I've intervened in situations at points in my life and I've stayed out of others. To think there is one answer is, I think, over simplifying this issue.

If something were to happen to me, I would want people to help and not walk away rehearsing their excuses about how they tried to help a Farang before but he was drunk and swore and them and took swings at them, blah, blah, blah.

I've been in that exact situation where we were attacked at a busy bus stop surrounded by probably at least 100 people. I was upset that nobody intervened but I'm not sure they were all cowards or making excuses.

Lastly, the stuff about the bad Thai girls. Um, this is something I've heard a lot, and I would just have to clarify that, if one happens to be meeting the wrong sort of Thai girls, so to speak, in the wrong sort of establishments, than it is not fair to make blanket judgements about Thai girls based on that experience. It would be more accurate to say that "prostitutes" behave in a certain manner, that to say that "Thai girls" do, IF that's the type of Thai girl one is talking about, in which case one would need to make provisions for the type of people she has to deal with on a regular basis, which are extenuating circumstances.

To make generalizations about Thai women/girls based on exposure to bar girls or similar, is like going to Las Vegas and then expounding on "American women."

Very good point and this is a common theme on TV. People complain because the bargirl they picked up isn't the Madonna they hoped for. I don't get this attitude.

You might as well go live in a temple, and then make generalizations about Thai men. Er, they always go about in orange robes and take walks in the morning. They are damned religious, and their favorite hairstyle is a shaved head.

One might get a better idea of Thai women/girls from one's students (if one is a teacher, AND one's students aren't bar girls), one's coworkers (if one works in a company…), or Thais working in businesses one frequents (er, other than bars…).

The typical mythical story of the helpless old Farang who innocently hooked up with a Thai (bar) girl a third his age, bought a house for her, and then got ripped off… well, it might not have happened if he'd hooked up with an educated Thai woman within his own age-bracket. I mean, if you hooked up with a woman half your age in the West, you and everyone else would be expected she was only in it for the money and was going to take you for a ride.

Just my 2 cents. We all just see one patch of the big picture.

Well, I agree and disagree with various points you make. I do think it is foolish to have the idea that you are going to jump into every situation you might stumble across when you could very well not only be putting yourself in danger but could escalate an argument between a couple into a physical situation where, if a weapon is introduced, one of them could be going to the hospital or morgue with you.

[AnkertilBrewer]

Well, I agree and disagree with various points you make. I do think it is foolish to have the idea that you are going to jump into every situation you might stumble across when you could very well not only be putting yourself in danger but could escalate an argument between a couple into a physical situation where, if a weapon is introduced, one of them could be going to the hospital or morgue with you.

I think I said, maybe in an earlier post, that one has to judge the circumstances individually, each time, and there's no rule of thumb. So, actually, we agree about that.

But, I also do think people latch on to excuses to absolve themselves of helping others. There was a famous incident in China where someone tried to help someone who'd been hit by a car, and ended up getting sued by that person (I don't remember the exact details). After that, every Chinese adult knew that story and could use it as an excuse to do nothing when someone was in trouble.

I remember a foreign teacher tripping and falling in the street (she was an elderly lady). A group of Chinese surrounded her and gaped, but nobody offered to even help her up.

We would probably agree on this one: if you aren't going to help at any point, at least don't stand there watching the whole thing and causing the victim embarrassment on top of it all.

Again, you are absolutely right that one should rush into any and every situation! But I think having carefully rehearsed excuses to never intervene is a sign of cowardice and selfishness.

One poster was at least honest enough to admit he doesn't give a hoot about strangers. I might prefer to hear that than some lame excuse and pretending to care. Further, of course, many or most of us are not strong enough ourselves to intervene in a violent situation without getting hurt. A lot of women would be putting themselves at risk. I do, however, know of a

Western woman who stopped two men from beating up a woman. Turned out the woman receiving the beating had come home with someone other than her husband. Significantly, the husband and boyfriend were the one's beating here, and not fighting with each other. One might judge the woman, but she may have been getting back at the husband for his philandering, and even if she did cheat him it doesn't mean two men can pummel her in the street.

So, choose to intervene on a case by case basis. (Scuse typos. I don't bother to edit.)

[cmbe]

I think I am lucky that I did not see (or can not remember) any man beating women in last 20 years, only see one time a young man beating a old man (around 70 years old, I guess) and I can not keep sitting and looking how he beat the old man, so I get in and ask to stop without thinking how can be dangerous for me but it is ok, he stopped and told me the reason then gone, I only think how another 20 peoples (who stay in same place with me) can keep just looking and do nothing.

[Throatwobbler]

This is just one small disgusting behavour of humans that is happening all over the world. I guess there is something radically wrong with us humans that we still have not recognized. Do animals resort to this type of behaviour? Any recorded incidents?

Example http://video.foxnews...ntcmp=obnetwork

Chimpanzees hunt, mutilate, then kill their own kind. They are our closest genetic relative.

Any proof of that. I'd be interested to read it.

http://www.washingto...monicmales.htm/

Thanks

[Throatwobbler]

...women

When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Not really.

I don't think I feel sorry for anyone to be honest.

Well Apathy breeds apathy

[Throatwobbler]

...women When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Bargirls are where they are due poverty/to make a living - if most of them had a better choice, I am sure they would take it. Farangs? Are they in a similar situation? Do they have no other option?

That's the romanticized version. However, all have options. They can work in factories in and around Bangkok. They can find work as maids. However, they choose to work as sex workers.

Spoken like the true jaded farang. Not that I'm saying you're wrong but these are words of people who have been here far too long.

[AnkertilBrewer]

...women When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Bargirls are where they are due poverty/to make a living - if most of them had a better choice, I am sure they would take it. Farangs? Are they in a similar situation? Do they have no other option?

That's the romanticized version. However, all have options. They can work in factories in and around Bangkok. They can find work as maids. However, they choose to work as sex workers.

Spoken like the true jaded farang. Not that I'm saying you're wrong but these are words of people who have been here far too long.

Wow, I didn't realize they had such good options. Imagine the lifestyle they could have as factory workers or maids in Thailand. Factory work or being maids is even better than being sentenced to hard labor for doing crime. Further, it will teach them the value of a satong!

[mesquite]

...women When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Bargirls are where they are due poverty/to make a living - if most of them had a better choice, I am sure they would take it. Farangs? Are they in a similar situation? Do they have no other option?

That's the romanticized version. However, all have options. They can work in factories in and around Bangkok. They can find work as maids. However, they choose to work as sex workers.

Spoken like the true jaded farang. Not that I'm saying you're wrong but these are words of people who have been here far too long.

So how long should someone live here in Thailand? Please provide answer in years and months.

[insertmembernamehere]

I'm lost, what are we talking about?

[eyecatcher]

I'm lost, what are we talking about?

Just keep calm, we have a team out looking for you......

[nocturn]

so if you intervene once, will you stick around to make sure she is safe later?

if not dont bother.

[Payboy]

so if you intervene once, will you stick around to make sure she is safe later?

if not dont bother.

Nah, can't stick around. Need to feed the White steed and keep that armor polished.

[AnkertilBrewer]

so if you intervene once, will you stick around to make sure she is safe later?

if not dont bother.

Let me get this straight, if your wife or daughter were being beaten or raped in the street, you would advise people not to intervene unless they were willing to become her permanent guardians??

If you are just talking about an obvious couple (as opposed to them being strangers), and they are having one looks like another one of their recurrent dysfunctional episodes that might end up in a little bruising, than, you are probably right that intervening once wouldn't do much good. However, if the woman is going to end up critically injured, or disfigured, one might overcome one's reservations and try to lend the victim a hand. I gave an example earlier of the one time I intervened. A man was kicking a woman who was on the ground, and she was screaming. I managed to stop it just be standing in-between them and holding my hands out, and then I alert ed some police who passed by.

I've seen drunk guys fighting with their drunk girlfriends, but not really doing any serious damage, and while it pissed off my Western sensibility, I just kinda' hung around on the periphery to see if the shit really hit the fan. Usually the guy doesn't know how to fight well enough to hurt the woman anyway.

I think it's true that there's a different attitude towards beating women/girls/children in Asia than in the West. While we would generally see it as sheer cowardice to beat a woman in public, Asian men will even gang up on them in public. Somehow our idea of a "fair fight" is missing.