Guy Beating Up Girl In The Street. What To Do?

[Payboy]

Have seen it happen very often. Some were so ugly, I felt like helping the guys myself.

[cooked]

happens everywhere, not a Thailand problem.

yep, and people who never smoke get lung cancer too...

people who wear seatbelts die in car accidents too..

you could lock your car and still have it stolen.

Bill Gates dropped out of college, so you should too..

Try reading my other posts on this topic, you'll see that I don't propose doing nothing by any means. I was saying that you see acts of violence everywhere. Apparently it is against Farang rules and regulations to answer when someone says hello, so why should guys like that go and help someone? Or is that too complicated for you?

[hellodolly]

I wonder how people that think about retiring in CM would feel about a thread like this?

It's better they know it's not Nirvana, and they still need to look after themselves and their property...........CM is a holiday location for many but it's also home to people who live ordinary lives with all that entails.

That's not my point. Would you look forward to coming to a place where the standard response to domestic battery is 'don't get involved (for a million valid reasons given the culture), call the cops who aren't going to stop or do anything'? Is that a place you'd be proud to call home? -- I realize every place has its share of problems, but........

This is not the same culture they are coming from and dislike it as much as you or I do it is extremly dangerous in this culture to get involved. We might even be found as the starter of the trouble.

So what do prospective retiree's think reading a thread like this. They can think several things

1 They are different in that culture.

2 They have a thread that does not cover up things.

3 If I want a different culture it is one of the things I must except.

4 I want some thing different but not a complete culture change.

5 On my money that is what I have to accept.

6 perhaps a Baltic country different culture but not that different

And the list goes on.

[PoodMaiDai]

What would you do if it had been a farang beating a Thai woman? Or a farang beating a farang woman?

now hold that thought..................

Now ask yourself how much of your soul you have sold in Thailand.

Not interfering in Thai affairs is just common sense. Nothing to do with losing your soul. Because chances are both parties will turn on you, and it will all be your fault. And she will run back to him in the end anyway.

However, souls are sold here in other ways, and that list is long.

[PoodMaiDai]

It wasn't aimed at you but you haven't answered the question....what if it had been a farang?

It would have to be in a remote area for a farang to get away with such a thing and not mobbed by a group of Thai boys.

But if it was in the middle of nowhere and I drove up on it, I'd have to really look at the situation. It may be the guy defending himself against the girl. If it turned out the guy was at fault and me being there didn't derail his efforts, I'd give him a face full of peppery spray and be on my way. I did exactly that a couple of times in the USA.

[JoeBlow199]

Once I was on the back of my gfs m/c, no conversation, just driving to town.

Suddenly she starts swerving all over the road, heading for a tree.

I reach forward and grab the handlebars and brake the bike to a stop.

She then starts screaming and shouting, jumps off the m/c, grabs a rock and starts hitting herself in the head.

I try to restrain her by holding her arms, but a couple of Thai guys approach wanting to help her protect herself from the foreigner. They are shouting 'do you need help, is he hurting you'. They were clearly going to attack me.

So I let go of her, and she runs at the guys, trying to whack them with the rock.

They run off, and she returns her attentions to bashing herself.

It appeared to be some sort of psychotic episode due to yabba withdrawal.

Weird shit happens in this country, loads of people on serious drugs, best not to get involved.

Especially if you're an old dude.

Edited August 4, 2012 by JoeBlow199

[bristolgeoff]

i agree if you don,t them do not get involved if both are thais.more trouble than its worth.would a thai stick up for you if something happened.i had a acccident with a tuk tuk very minor no damage in heavy traffic.thais saw said nothing and i paid out.the thais saw the lot but said nothing to police.but later one man they said the tuk tuk driver was wrong,but he said nothing at the time.i was at the bar later playing pool when i meet him again and told me.so i would just walk away and forget i saw anything to anyone

[mesquite]

Domestic violence among Thais is a way of life here. Don't get involved.

[brit1984]

I discussed this with my wife and some Thai friends with a pretty clear conclusion as follows:

If the girl's life appears to be in danger OR if the girls asks for help, you should intervene (verbally or physically).

Otherwise you MUST NOT get involved (beyond calling the police) as your "help" will not be appreciated.

[McMagus]

I think I would move close to the fracas ..much as a referee would and observe. I don't know the history, the lead up, the story behind it...maybe she deserved it.... but I don't like to see a man bashing a woman.... and I don't like the idea of doing nothing. If the girl was a very young child, say 5 yrs old, would it make a difference to your reaction? If so why? I think if she was getting a real hiding I would have to do something...what I don't know.

[Payboy]

Sigh....so many damsels in distress, so little time.

[Ulysses G.]

This morning I saw an English woman having a fight with her Thai boyfriend on Loi Kroh road, but the way she was yelling, screaming and swearing at him, I didn't think that she needed any help.

[beb]

At a party once, an ex gf attacked me, first with a smack across the face and then a barrage of accusations. I responded as expected and suddenly a guy neither of us knew rushed over to protect the girl (I never touched or threatened her, it was all verbal). I told him several times that he shouldn't be involved and didn't understand the situation but he was adamant that he was going to protect the ex. It was around that time that she threw her drink at me. Fortunately she was drunk enough that the drink flew past me and drenched her wanna be knight in shining armor. He sulked off and later in the evening, after seeing how everything played out, apologized to me.

[mesquite]

At a party once, an ex gf attacked me, first with a smack across the face and then a barrage of accusations. I responded as expected and suddenly a guy neither of us knew rushed over to protect the girl (I never touched or threatened her, it was all verbal). I told him several times that he shouldn't be involved and didn't understand the situation but he was adamant that he was going to protect the ex. It was around that time that she threw her drink at me. Fortunately she was drunk enough that the drink flew past me and drenched her wanna be knight in shining armor. He sulked off and later in the evening, after seeing how everything played out, apologized to me.

Your story illustrates a good point which is men almost always assume the woman is in the right and the man is in the wrong. Yep, the knight in shining armor complex. Gotta give credit to the guy that he apologized to you, though. Sounds like that's the only thing he did right, but at least he did it.

[Puwa]

I discussed this with my wife and some Thai friends with a pretty clear conclusion as follows:

If the girl's life appears to be in danger OR if the girls asks for help, you should intervene (verbally or physically).

Otherwise you MUST NOT get involved (beyond calling the police) as your "help" will not be appreciated.

Realistically, this is probably the best advice when the fight involves two adults. Maybe keep a safe distance and capture the whole thing on video. Sometimes a witness is better than a hero.

For everyone commenting "maybe she deserved it" or "why assume the man is wrong?", you are missing the point entirely.

[AnkertilBrewer]

Contrary to what some people keep accusing about "macho syndrome" one's desire to intervene can be just a natural reaction to protect somebody or something. I once saw some men leading a pig to slaughter, and it was resisting. The guy behind it was kicking it as hard as he could. I really, really wanted to go kick THAT guy in the ass, and it certainly wasn't because I wanted the appreciative attention of the pig. I've also know women to intervene when females were being attacked.

So, here's my one story of intervention. I was coming home and a heard a woman screaming. Soon I could see her on the ground, and the man delivering kicks to her. There was a small crowd standing around. I don't know the story behind it. Who knows, she could have stolen his wallet. I don't know. But, clearly she's had enough. I ran over and stood between them and waved my arms. I actually said, "Whooa Neeelly". The man didn't know what to do so just stopped. I stood nearby in case he recommenced his beating. I never even looked at the woman. When police came by, and they did, I waved them over and explained that he was beating the women. They surrounded him and I walked home.

Some might say she'll get a bigger beating at home because he lost face, or whatever, but that can just be an excuse to not try to help someone clearly in trouble. If a girl is being raped, does one just stand by and say, "well, she'll get it much worse later if I do anything."

I guess it's up to one's gut instinct and instant appraisal of the situation. As it was, I was bigger than the guy, and I know how to fight enough to be able to take care of myself if someone is smaller than me and doesn't know how to fight other than when it comes to overpowering women. The onlookers already knew what was going on.

So, there's probably no rule of thumb as every situation is different.

Ah, I've seen people abuse their children on the subway, and I stayed well clear of it.

It's all situation dependent.

[insertmembernamehere]

If YOU saw a grown man beating the crap out of a small child, would YOU walk up and try to help the child? Or would you think that presumptive?

Firstly, we are not talking about an adult man and a small child. How about a grown man beating a small monkey? Or how about a big monkey beating a small man?

I would have no interest at all in injecting myself into the situation. I don't care about strangers and what they do to each other. Why should I? Why should I care if it is a girl, a man, a monkey or a snake that's getting hit? It's not my business.

I am not some altruistic superhero who feels it's my business to right the wrongs between people. What do I have to gain by trying to break up a situation where I have no idea what is going on?

"OH, I should try and rescue this girl because maybe she will come home and stay with me..." Uh...no, I don't think so.

What if you grabbed the guy and tried to stop whatever was happening and he told you that the girl just confessed to taking out his and her life savings and lent it to a "friend" who has disappeared forever (a fairly common story)? You'd probably want to help him.

The OP never said "beat the crap out of" by the way.

The fact is you personally have nothing to gain by intervening yet the potential downside could be catastrophic. He could pull out a knife and stab you. He could call his friends to teach you to not interfere. He could remember your vehicle and plate number and tell you he will hunt you down, thereby insuring your continued peaceful existence in Chiang Mai would be replaced by paranoia.

[HeavyDrinker]

You step in. No debate needed. When a man is attacking a woman you get in there or you are a spineless ****.

The same applies in ANY country.

[insertmembernamehere]

"So what happened to your friend H.D."

"Oh, he was driving home last week and saw a guy and a girl having a tussle on Canal Road. They were off the shoulder and the man was beating her and she was defending herself. Their motorbike was laying on its side and finally the guy picked up the bike and tried to make her get on, but she was resisting. So H.D. sees this and rushes over and yanks the guy off the girl, who is crying. The Thai guy says, "Fxxx You!" and drops the bike again. H.D. looks at the girl and she starts babbling incoherently in English. She looks like she's really high on something. Finally, she blurts out, "You go! Not you! You go!" Meanwhile, the Thai guy has fished something out of his pocket and it's a small knife which he then uses to lunge at H.D. My friend tried to fight him but got a deep slash that severed his femoral artery in his left leg. He didn't realize at the time how bad it was and kept trying to wrestle with this guy and then the girl came up and started screaming and hitting both the Thai guy and my friend. H.D. collapsed from blood loss and died in the rescue squad ambulance on the way to the hospital."

"Wow! At least your friend wasn't a spineless ****."

[KRS1]

...women

When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

[ravip]

...women

When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Bargirls are where they are due poverty/to make a living - if most of them had a better choice, I am sure they would take it.

Farangs? Are they in a similar situation? Do they have no other option?

[TommoPhysicist]

Farangs? Are they in a similar situation? Do they have no other option?

I have no other option.

I am a white foreigner and they won't let me change.

[AnkertilBrewer]

I don't care about strangers and what they do to each other. Why should I? Why should I care if it is a girl, a man, a monkey or a snake that's getting hit? It's not my business.

I am not some altruistic superhero who feels it's my business to right the wrongs between people. What do I have to gain by trying to break up a situation where I have no idea what is going on?

Some people are big-hearted and can't help but to care. Maybe you've seen the video that came out of China where a 2 or 3 year old girl was hit by a car. People drove by and walked by and didn't stop to help her as she lay in the street. Then another van ran her over, and after briefly pausing, kept going. Finally a woman who was sifting through the trash rushed out to help the girl.

I'm sure nobody though the little girls was a fault. She hadn't done anything to the car or van that hit her. And yet, people just didn't want to get involved, and didn't care. Only the garbage lady had the humanity to help.

Lots of people in this world care deeply about other living things, even strangers and monkeys and snakes, because, they realize that those other living things are not separate from them living in a different universe. They have compassion and empathy for other living, feeling creatures, because they know we are all in the same boat. I think a lot of people can't help but care, and will naturally risk themselves to help others, be it to help someone get out of a burning house, or protect someone who is in harms way. Maybe it's just a natural disposition.

I dunno.

[mesquite]

You step in. No debate needed. When a man is attacking a woman you get in there or you are a spineless ****.

The same applies in ANY country.

Or you could give up your drunken macho man persona and take the advice offered elsewhere on this thread.

Time to get sober, HD.

[Ulysses G.]

[Loaded]

...women

When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Look at the farang men they have to sleep with. I feel sorry for the girls.

[Loaded]

...women

When i first got to Thailand i use to feel sorry for the bargirls....Fast forward 15 years later and i now feel sorry for the farang.

Bargirls are where they are due poverty/to make a living - if most of them had a better choice, I am sure they would take it.

Farangs? Are they in a similar situation? Do they have no other option?

That's the romanticized version. However, all have options. They can work in factories in and around Bangkok. They can find work as maids. However, they choose to work as sex workers.

[insertmembernamehere]

There is a giant difference between not helping a traffic victim lying in the street and accosting a couple in the middle of a full-fledged argument. You are not risking life or limb by assisting an injured person. I would aid an injured person. I would not try to interfere in a personal dispute with two (or more) people who I don't know, don't know what they are arguing about and don't know if they would welcome outside interference or will turn their aggressiveness toward me.

[PoodMaiDai]

You step in. No debate needed. When a man is attacking a woman you get in there or you are a spineless ****.

The same applies in ANY country.

Good luck with that.

You don't even know the circumstances involved. The girl may be 100% at fault and the male is defending himself. Then here comes the big bad and probably overweight falang to play the white knight to protect a girl who may be at fault.

These Thai girls are not angles. I've seen them stab guys, bash bottles over their heads, and even saw one poke a guys eye out. Many are drunks and drug addicts, so you never know what you're walking into or who is at fault.

[Loaded]

There is a giant difference between not helping a traffic victim lying in the street and accosting a couple in the middle of a full-fledged argument. You are not risking life or limb by assisting an injured person. I would aid an injured person. I would not try to interfere in a personal dispute with two (or more) people who I don't know, don't know what they are arguing about and don't know if they would welcome outside interference or will turn their aggressiveness toward me.

I stopped to help 3 drunk Thais who fell off their motorbike. Nobody else was involved in their accident. I checked they were OK but when I moved to get back on my motorbike, one of them grabbed me and the 3 held me until a policeman came. I understood enough Thai to know he was accusing me of causing the accident. We all went to the police station. After around 3 hours of 'discussion' I managed to walk away from the police station as the drunks kept contradicting their version of events. To say I was bitter is an understatement. I'm not sure I would ever stop to help Thais at the scene of an accident. Thais always tell me not to stop as well as what happened to me seems to be a fairly routine occurrence.