Dating Professionals In Cm

[LawrenceChee]

Anyone has dated woman professionals in CM at the senior management level and has advice culturally what they are like ?

Are the same at home after marriage or do they become a woman at home even though they are strong minded at work . Eg I have dated Vietnamese women and they are professional at work and yet behave like little woman on the home

They got great careers don't need the money or stuff like this ...so what do they want out of a man ?

Question is abstract but it is an interesting one for opinions

Thanks mates

[eyecatcher]

why don't you ask a lady this question?

If you are looking for the answer to what a woman wants from a man regardless of her background then you have either never been with a woman or only 13yrs old.

I can imagine our lady members here being insulted at your comments

[anselpixel]

I've dated a few Thai professional women, and they all had very strong personalities.

They didn't change all that much when they got home. Especially so if they were dominant in their family structures.

I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the "little lady" sort of woman here. I really don't think I'd believe them if I did.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

why don't you ask a lady this question?

If you are looking for the answer to what a woman wants from a man regardless of her background then you have either never been with a woman or only 13yrs old.

I can imagine our lady members here being insulted at your comments

In his defense it was a question, not a comment. And fortunately our lady members aren't that easily insulted. Or even if they were then there's a far more insulting stuff out there in other topics, they'd take a while before getting around to this one.

Anyway I don't think people change when they get home; certain roles still apply of course, I mean it's not like a man would ever be expected to do the dishes, laundry or change diapers, but that's different from personality, especially when it comes to tasks that men are supposed to undertake; she won't stand for any slacking there. (Or rather: )

Edited August 2, 2012 by WinnieTheKhwai

[hellodolly]

why don't you ask a lady this question?

If you are looking for the answer to what a woman wants from a man regardless of her background then you have either never been with a woman or only 13yrs old.

I can imagine our lady members here being insulted at your comments

In his defense it was a question, not a comment. And fortunately our lady members aren't that easily insulted. Or even if they were then there's a far more insulting stuff out there in other topics, they'd take a while before getting around to this one.

Anyway I don't think people change when they get home; certain roles still apply of course, I mean it's not like a man would ever be expected to do the dishes, laundry or change diapers, but that's different from personality, especially when it comes to tasks that men are supposed to undertake; she won't stand for any slacking there. (Or rather: )

I might add that he has only lived with them. My experience is that they change after the I do. That is not a negative statement They can go either way. In both of my cases it would seem on the face of it to be for the better but with a commitment after a time they seemed to expect a little more. And that really is as it should be but you only want to go so far.

[tolstoy]

I know of a few that were very dominant in the workforce but when at home were slightly more domestic. One case the husband was just a simple worker and didn't earn nearly what his wife did, however at home he was still the head of the household. She was happy not to have someone competing with her and just had a simple home life.

I have seen the reverse also where the woman wanted the man to be even more successful.

My advice about women is just talk to them. Be honest on your expectations and except the simple fact that men marry a woman hoping she stays the same and women marry men hoping that they change to be the man that they want.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

men marry a woman hoping she stays the same and women marry men hoping that they change to be the man that they want.

!!!

[daoyai]

men marry a woman hoping she stays the same and women marry men hoping that they change to be the man that they want.

!!!

....and the women always change but the men do not. (other than trouser size)

[LawrenceChee]

Thanks for the comments ...keep them coming

I am almost 40, have a great traveling career and having decided that CM is the place for home is looking for someone here and want to start a family here.

I have lived on / off in various provinces in Thailand for 10 years and decided that 6 years ago this is the place.

The professionals I met so far are all nice and dominant in workforces who are not afraid to voice opinions and unlike some Thais who are polite.

I am just wondering if anyone is married to one. During dates, it almost seems like 180 change and they behave like little gigglies(no insult meant) instead of what I see in professional dealings , these are senior managers of major MNCs

Seems almost the same of those I have dated in HCM or Shanghai ...just wondering aloud if they remain like this at home :-)

[Semper]

You're almost 40 and need advice on dating....

[hellodolly]

Thanks for the comments ...keep them coming

I am almost 40, have a great traveling career and having decided that CM is the place for home is looking for someone here and want to start a family here.

I have lived on / off in various provinces in Thailand for 10 years and decided that 6 years ago this is the place.

The professionals I met so far are all nice and dominant in workforces who are not afraid to voice opinions and unlike some Thais who are polite.

I am just wondering if anyone is married to one. During dates, it almost seems like 180 change and they behave like little gigglies(no insult meant) instead of what I see in professional dealings , these are senior managers of major MNCs

Seems almost the same of those I have dated in HCM or Shanghai ...just wondering aloud if they remain like this at home :-)

You seem to be interested in only professionals. Are you looking for some one to take care of your financial needs. There are a lot of wives who are very good in their home life but not professionals. Then of course their are the professionals that are professional part time mates.

[LawrenceChee]

Nah I am financially secured and I date them now as it is easy to meet like minded professionals at work

For now it seems to be great to have someone to talk to at the same field and intellect levels not sure if this is a requisite after marriage as many of my friends have gone down that path and failed

[eyecatcher]

You're almost 40 and need advice on dating....

real name Steve Caroll?

I would say professional women of such high esteem are married to their career. They have got to 40+ and realised all their life they have had few freinds and fewer boyfreinds simply becasue they dont have time for them.

so as a panic, 40 being last chance saloon to get pregnant, they suddenly need a man.

and I add here, in the west, more often that now involves a trip to the sperm bank...they dont need a man.

if you get one on these professionals, you will be like a play thing surely, to de stress her, you will not get the attention you crave, always on busienss trips, home late, away early, unable to plan a proper domestic life; no free time to meet people and thats why they are on dating sites.

but do you want that life, do you want a woman with no social life, friends, or one that simply wants children now?

....you can find exaclty what you want here without using the net.; and come down a peg or two you will be happier.

[hellodolly]

Nah I am financially secured and I date them now as it is easy to meet like minded professionals at work

For now it seems to be great to have someone to talk to at the same field and intellect levels not sure if this is a requisite after marriage as many of my friends have gone down that path and failed

If all you want is some one to talk to on a intellect level. Look around and join a club. If you want a partner find some one with other interests than yours and you can share your interests with her and she hers with you. Life can be a very rewarding experience don't limit it to the narrow world you already live in.

[Sticky Rice Balls]

You're almost 40 and need advice on dating....

real name Steve Caroll?

I would say professional women of such high esteem are married to their career. They have got to 40+ and realised all their life they have had few freinds and fewer boyfreinds simply becasue they dont have time for them.

so as a panic, 40 being last chance saloon to get pregnant, they suddenly need a man.

and I add here, in the west, more often that now involves a trip to the sperm bank...they dont need a man.

if you get one on these professionals, you will be like a play thing surely, to de stress her, you will not get the attention you crave, always on busienss trips, home late, away early, unable to plan a proper domestic life; no free time to meet people and thats why they are on dating sites.

but do you want that life, do you want a woman with no social life, friends, or one that simply wants children now?

....you can find exaclty what you want here without using the net.; and come down a peg or two you will be happier.

I glady throw my hat into the ring as volunteer "plaything"...can forward my email to them.

[Sticky Rice Balls]

So where does one go to find these self supporting ones?....lord knows after 3 yrs living here i have only come across the "u take care of me?" ones...i just got thru a long investment with one yest that swore she was a good one and wasnt after my $$--(blood from a turnip)..then came the bomb-"you take care of me?".she works-i dont..why not pay me?.i'll cook and clean-make boom boom-word!

Im a nice guy with lots to offer--all except $$--that is my only rule as it seems once money comes into play it is a matter of time before it corrupts things--hence no money--its never a topic-issue but i'll be damned if the gals are always amazed when i say im single--of course they dont believe me!

But again maybe this is a post for the ladies..are we even allowed to go in there--the ladies "room"?

[tolstoy]

Again, people are knocking the OP. He is not looking for advice on dating. He is asking about cultural differences that he might not know of with this background.

I think that the OP came to the wrong place first of all. The majority of men here marry women that satisfy them only in bed, and are submissive. They like the traditional male-female roles in the house. They don't understand when a man doesn't want a "village bumpkin"

Keep trying OP. You will find what you are looking for. There are many women that are professional, hardworking and still have a supportive feminine non dominant side at home. Most likely a few of them will be divorced because they got tired of being treated like a servant from their Thai husbands.

I had one friend who was much older she as about 50. She made a serious amount of money, worked 12 hours a day but when came home, her husband still demanded that she do the dishes and cook his meals. He refused to have a made even though they could afford it. He also had a couple on the side.

there are plenty of professional dedicated women out there that want a stable relationship.

[onthedarkside]

Again, people are knocking the OP. He is not looking for advice on dating. He is asking about cultural differences that he might not know of with this background.

I think that the OP came to the wrong place first of all. The majority of men here marry women that satisfy them only in bed, and are submissive. They like the traditional male-female roles in the house. They don't understand when a man doesn't want a "village bumpkin"

Keep trying OP. You will find what you are looking for. There are many women that are professional, hardworking and still have a supportive feminine non dominant side at home. Most likely a few of them will be divorced because they got tired of being treated like a servant from their Thai husbands.

I had one friend who was much older she as about 50. She made a serious amount of money, worked 12 hours a day but when came home, her husband still demanded that she do the dishes and cook his meals. He refused to have a made even though they could afford it. He also had a couple on the side.

there are plenty of professional dedicated women out there that want a stable relationship.

Could not agree more with that assessment.. Especially the being treated like a second class citizen by husband and mia nois (second wives) are to be accepted by first wife.

[hellodolly]

So where does one go to find these self supporting ones?....lord knows after 3 yrs living here i have only come across the "u take care of me?" ones...i just got thru a long investment with one yest that swore she was a good one and wasnt after my $$--(blood from a turnip)..then came the bomb-"you take care of me?".she works-i dont..why not pay me?.i'll cook and clean-make boom boom-word!

Im a nice guy with lots to offer--all except $$--that is my only rule as it seems once money comes into play it is a matter of time before it corrupts things--hence no money--its never a topic-issue but i'll be damned if the gals are always amazed when i say im single--of course they dont believe me!

But again maybe this is a post for the ladies..are we even allowed to go in there--the ladies "room"?

I think that it is not really a dollar issue. It is there way of seeking security. Theoretically a women who has risen or is a family relative in the ranks at management level would not be looking for the support that many of thhem are looking for.

[eyecatcher]

I think that the OP came to the wrong place first of all. The majority of men here marry women that satisfy them only in bed, and are submissive. They like the traditional male-female roles in the house. They don't understand when a man doesn't want a "village bumpkin"

so ; the voice of reason, the oracle speaks again

what makes you so sure that the majority of men here are looking for bed partners, and want to behave like male chauvanists.

That comment is ridiculous and presumptious.

[anselpixel]

A lot of remarks about money above.

Just because you meet someone who's self-supporting (and also probably supporting several other people), never assume they won't ask you for financial support.

High end hand to mouth is a common lifestyle.

[LadyHeather]

I, too believe that LawrenceChee came to the wrong place but mainly because Thai women professionals aren't reading Thai visa. I would suggest you get out and go to art events, music,networking and so on and meet the layer of society that doesn't assume all men are sad and all Thai women are submissive.

[elektrified]

So where does one go to find these self supporting ones?....lord knows after 3 yrs living here i have only come across the "u take care of me?" ones...i just got thru a long investment with one yest that swore she was a good one and wasnt after my $$--(blood from a turnip)..then came the bomb-"you take care of me?".she works-i dont..why not pay me?.i'll cook and clean-make boom boom-word!

Im a nice guy with lots to offer--all except $$--that is my only rule as it seems once money comes into play it is a matter of time before it corrupts things--hence no money--its never a topic-issue but i'll be damned if the gals are always amazed when i say im single--of course they dont believe me!

But again maybe this is a post for the ladies..are we even allowed to go in there--the ladies "room"?

In 23 years of visiting and living here for the past 5 years, I've never been involved with one who didn't have a job, have a career, or own their business and have their own assets and income. It saves a lot of problems if you find this kind of stuff out up front. If it is an issue for you then don't date or get involved with ladies who are unemployed and/or insolvent. Then there won't be any complaining and/or disappointments in the future. Simple.

[NowImEasy]

My gf is a govt "official" in CM. She works long, hard hours and when she gets home, always brings me, or cooks meals. She insists on doing my laundry and cleaning, even though we can afford to pay for these services. In short, when she is home, she "takes care me". I love her and want to help with domestic chores, but she gets upset nid noy when I do something that is woman's work. But I think that I have found one in a million, after 2 relationships with Issan farm girls who wanted ever more and more money.

[OriginalPoster]

I’ve dated many professionals and found that generally they are no more talented than amateurs.

[hellodolly]

My gf is a govt "official" in CM. She works long, hard hours and when she gets home, always brings me, or cooks meals. She insists on doing my laundry and cleaning, even though we can afford to pay for these services. In short, when she is home, she "takes care me". I love her and want to help with domestic chores, but she gets upset nid noy when I do something that is woman's work. But I think that I have found one in a million, after 2 relationships with Issan farm girls who wanted ever more and more money.

I support my wife and a bunch of relatives I don't know about. I give her x money and tell her if it is education for family member I will help more. Enough said about that. Now around the house I can certainly identify with you. If I try to do some thing she gets upset about it. That is her job. She takes it very seriously taking care of me. No joke I am clumsy by nature and have been that way for 70 years. When we are outside walking she is constantly pointing out things to watch out for so I don't trip. Can drive me nuts at times. She just dosen't understand that that is a way of life for me. Bound and determined that it won't happen on her watch. For the most part it works but every once in a while I manage to slip by her guard and trip.

[realthaideal]

OP should read that yellow book, the one with the Farang Man telling how these mixed relationships go from our Western perspective, and the Thai Lady telling how things go for her from the Thai perspective. And insights into each others cultures likewise, from the other side. It helped me understand myself as a Farang and how we get weird about money and control and independence more than any book I've read in a long time. I only remember thinking it was terrible they had a dumb title and then the picture on the book made it look like it would be about marrying hookers, when in fact it's an intelligent, well-thought-out book. What's it called again ?

UG will know. I'm sure he's got it too. Probably a few used copies around town too, though my copy was lent out, and was originally lent to me.... it's the kind of book you pass on for its instructiveness.

StickyRice, you ought to find this book too. It's good stuff.

[NowImEasy]

My gf is a govt "official" in CM. She works long, hard hours and when she gets home, always brings me, or cooks meals. She insists on doing my laundry and cleaning, even though we can afford to pay for these services. In short, when she is home, she "takes care me". I love her and want to help with domestic chores, but she gets upset nid noy when I do something that is woman's work. But I think that I have found one in a million, after 2 relationships with Issan farm girls who wanted ever more and more money.

I support my wife and a bunch of relatives I don't know about. I give her x money and tell her if it is education for family member I will help more. Enough said about that. Now around the house I can certainly identify with you. If I try to do some thing she gets upset about it. That is her job. She takes it very seriously taking care of me. No joke I am clumsy by nature and have been that way for 70 years. When we are outside walking she is constantly pointing out things to watch out for so I don't trip. Can drive me nuts at times. She just dosen't understand that that is a way of life for me. Bound and determined that it won't happen on her watch. For the most part it works but every once in a while I manage to slip by her guard and trip.

Good post... made me laugh. With 67 million people in LOS, I guess you found another one in a million. Live long and prosper.

[hellodolly]

My gf is a govt "official" in CM. She works long, hard hours and when she gets home, always brings me, or cooks meals. She insists on doing my laundry and cleaning, even though we can afford to pay for these services. In short, when she is home, she "takes care me". I love her and want to help with domestic chores, but she gets upset nid noy when I do something that is woman's work. But I think that I have found one in a million, after 2 relationships with Issan farm girls who wanted ever more and more money.

I support my wife and a bunch of relatives I don't know about. I give her x money and tell her if it is education for family member I will help more. Enough said about that. Now around the house I can certainly identify with you. If I try to do some thing she gets upset about it. That is her job. She takes it very seriously taking care of me. No joke I am clumsy by nature and have been that way for 70 years. When we are outside walking she is constantly pointing out things to watch out for so I don't trip. Can drive me nuts at times. She just dosen't understand that that is a way of life for me. Bound and determined that it won't happen on her watch. For the most part it works but every once in a while I manage to slip by her guard and trip.

Good post... made me laugh. With 67 million people in LOS, I guess you found another one in a million. Live long and prosper.

Well with let us say there is a 50 50 split in the sexes that leaves 36 unaccounted for. I don't have to prosper more I think the grandson was the last for school. LOL

Actually it is a pleasure to help them with education that they would not normally get. The future is in the hands of the young ones.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

So where does one go to find these self supporting ones?....lord knows after 3 yrs living here i have only come across the "u take care of me?" ones...i just got thru a long investment with one yest that swore she was a good one and wasnt after my $$--(blood from a turnip)..then came the bomb-"you take care of me?".she works-i dont..why not pay me?.i'll cook and clean-make boom boom-word!

Im a nice guy with lots to offer--all except $$--that is my only rule as it seems once money comes into play it is a matter of time before it corrupts things--hence no money--its never a topic-issue but i'll be damned if the gals are always amazed when i say im single--of course they dont believe me!

But again maybe this is a post for the ladies..are we even allowed to go in there--the ladies "room"?

You are, though what you can say is severely limited. If you stick to answering questions in a factual manner and are able to remain politically correct (or know when to not say anything) then you won't have an issue.