I saw this article on MSN we could all learn something from.

http://msnuk.match.com/matchscene/article....BannerID=558925

There are too many girls I know who don't appreciate what they have, there are tall and slim girls who want to go on a diet and there are big girls who have either overly introvert or extrovert personalities because they are so insecure about themselves - thanks to pop culture and magazines.

Contrary to what many girls (and some men) who don't bother to know me think, I do not love myself in the way they deduce but I try to love myself as a person yet if you happen, through no fault of your own, to look what people consider to be model material in their eyes, then the rules seem to be different and so by appearing confident some people, like the two British girls with boyfriends who shunned my smile last night when I was sat alone in a restaurant (dressed modestly I should add) - conclude that you're in love with yourself and that you don't have normal feelings or a genuine desire to strike up a conversation or friendship.

As a result I was then sat alone and as usual some topless tattooed idiot, who did love himself in all the wrong ways, joined me uninvited. I got up and left before my food arrived and I ended up in tears in the toilets. I have no idea why, I am usually much tougher than that but I'd been hungover all day and was tired and generally fed up.

Whoever we are and whatever we think of ourselves, how we present ourselves is more important than anything else. Too much emphasis has been placed on looks, but the ideal female look is not natural, it has been created by fasion, photo, film and even cartoons but it has affected ALL of us in a way that is far from natural or positive, and so much potential happiness falls by the wayside because of it and at the end of the day, perfection is something so many of us strive for but it's not what we really want in a partner, and for men with a brain bigger than their bits it's the same.

Edited January 25, 200620 yr by Uma~~

Why are there 2 squiggly lines after your name Is that the fashion these days?

As a result I was then sat alone and as usual some topless tattooed idiot, who did love himself in all the wrong ways, joined me uninvited. I got up and left before my food arrived and I ended up in tears in the toilets. I have no idea why, I am usually much tougher than that but I'd been hungover all day and was tired and generally fed up.

Whoever we are and whatever we think of ourselves, how we present ourselves is more important than anything else. Too much emphasis has been placed on looks, but the ideal female look is not natural, it has been created by fasion, photo, film and even cartoons but it has affected ALL of us in a way that is far from natural or positive, and so much potential happiness falls by the wayside because of it and at the end of the day, perfection is something so many of us strive for but it's not what we really want in a partner, and for men with a brain bigger than their bits it's the same.

Sorry about that, i must remember to put my shirt on when i go out at night

But in all seriousness, you're right, some people do place far too much importance on their and others appearances. Whilst i personally do think that people should make an effort to present themselves well, and stay in shape (i don't think it reflects well if people are too lazy to take care of themselves), it's not worth stressing about whether or not you match up to an ideal.

Different men really are attracted to diffferent things in a lady, and even if an individual does not consider themselves to be as close to perfection as they would like, there is usually somebody who finds them attractive. I see some of the supermodels on television and in magazines, and then i go for a walk down town and pass by women in the street who are more attractive to me.

While it is a bit cliched to say, and while physical appearance is important in initial attraction, it really is the personality of the individual that should be their most impressive and attractive feature, and what they should value themselves for. Time is better spent in becoming a warm, kind and compassionate person, than striving to emulate the latest image of physical perfection.

As for the guy who you were displeased with, maybe it was just bravado, maybe he was a bit intimidated by you, maybe he didn't think he had much of a chance but thought 'i'll give it a go anyway' and went a bit over the top. You never know, if you'd given him a chance he could have turned out to be a real diamond in the rough

That's my 12.5" brain's thoughts on the matter

Interesting that you bring this up on a Thailand board, that is people looking at you from the outside and not the inside. One of the reasons that I am moving to Thailand is that my experience is that Thai people do look at me for who I am and not what I look like on the outside.

I think if your a women sitting alone somewhere you may get approached by a Thai man thinking your looking for a man, but if that's not your intention they quickly pick up on that.

wow my experience in thailand has been quite the opposite- i find that thais rush to judgement based only on outward appearances. my ex bf from isaan particularly had huge problems with this.

Edited January 26, 200620 yr by girlx

Why are there 2 squiggly lines after your name Is that the fashion these days?

It's called a 'tilde' and sits just to the left of the #1 on your keyboard.

Folks most commonly use it to denote 'approximately' when typing.

wow my experience in thailand has been quite the opposite- i find that thais rush to judgement based only on outward appearances. my ex bf from isaan particularly had huge problems with this.

My experience is the same. I found that most Thais are the most superficial and the most critical of all when it comes to the outward appearance!

I'm only 117 lbs but to the thais they think I'm quite fat! Because when I'm in Thailand I always buy size L on everythings. Well...lets me tell you this...If I have a girlfriend, I would like a bit of meat on her..for me to have something to hang on to!

Hmm...too bad I'm not a lesbian. It's just my thought.

Edited January 26, 200620 yr by BKK90210

wow my experience in thailand has been quite the opposite- i find that thais rush to judgement based only on outward appearances. my ex bf from isaan particularly had huge problems with this.

My experience is the same. I found that most Thais are the most superficial and the most critical of all when it comes to the outward appearance!

I'm only 117 lbs but to the thais they think I'm quite fat! Because when I'm in Thailand I always buy size L on everythings. Well...lets me tell you this...If I have a girlfriend, I would like a bit of meat on her..for me to have something to hang on to!

Hmm...too bad I'm not a lesbian. It's just my thought.

The Thai's are maybe more obsessed with outward apearance than we are especially when it comes to skin colour. The pale models on TV just don't look right because they are not naturally that white.

I have also noticed that they are very forthcoming and speak their mind about what they think of your appearance which could be taken as rudeness but they are just non reserved and honest, bless em.

As far as calling people fat, I defer to what Uma said. It's a culture thing, look at the nicknames of Thai people. If people started calling you pig at some point in your life, most westerners would be horrified. If your fat your just fat, Thai people aren't picking on you or judgeing you. Most of us when we are thin are still bigger then most Thais so to call you fat isn't that big of a deal. You just get used to it. And most Thais I know will go out of their way to make a joke about anything.

I hear what your saying Girlx, but are you talking about what people are wearing? I would agree that if you are a women dressed with a little too much skin showing or not wearing a bra, dressed sloppy or one of those wonderful folks that think showers aren't needed in Thailand, then yes, you'll be judged. But I don't see the same issues like I do in the states.

Here it's so bad with what your wearing, what size you are, is your hair the right style, do you have the right street address and your level of good looks plays a huge roll into how much attention you get.

And back to topic

Loveing yourself and getting to know yourself is that most important thing you can do in this life. You come in alone and you go out alone, so you better make the best of it while your here and not sweat the little stuf.

Like finding the perfect mate Another, thing I love about Thai people they don't get as caught up in the whole idea of soul mates and all that Bullsh*t. I think it's fantastic that there are people out there who have loveing fantastic realationships that last forever, I wish I was one of them.

But I'm not and chances are most of us are not going to have that type of Love and that's okay and it should be okay.

The more you can walk through this life and be happy with what you have and be honest with yourself the better your life is going to be.

And back to topic

Loveing yourself and getting to know yourself is that most important thing you can do in this life. You come in alone and you go out alone, so you better make the best of it while your here and not sweat the little stuf.

Like finding the perfect mate Another, thing I love about Thai people they don't get as caught up in the whole idea of soul mates and all that Bullsh*t. I think it's fantastic that there are people out there who have loveing fantastic realationships that last forever, I wish I was one of them.

But I'm not and chances are most of us are not going to have that type of Love and that's okay and it should be okay.

The more you can walk through this life and be happy with what you have and be honest with yourself the better your life is going to be.

Well said seville, that is possibly the best and most touching post I have read on here.

LOVE...

You are only able to love someone else if you love yourself

Sometimes I give people, who are more or less depressed or lack self esteem, the advise to write a little note, which says:

I LOVE YOU..... (with their own name written on it)..

..and put in on the mirror in the bathroom...believe me: it helps them growing and believing again in themselves, bringing a smile, to start a new day and possibly starting the power to appreciate themselves (again).

LaoPo

Edited January 29, 200620 yr by LaoPo

There is only one person in this world who can make you feel inferior or out of place.

She stares back at you from the mirror every day.

Trite, but nonetheless true.

Patrick

Why are you critical on what other people think, but you were so critical on the tattooed gimp so quickly.

Why are you critical on what other people think, but you were so critical on the tattooed gimp so quickly.

Sorry?

Uma I suggest you take down the 'sexy' avatar if you are trying to convince anyone of your worth

I was very dissapointed to find out this thread was not about female masturbation.

I was very dissapointed to find out this thread was not about female masturbation.

I was very dissapointed to find out this thread was not about female masturbation.

No matter if you are Thai, Black, farang; you're always obsessed with looks. I think people are lying if they say that they don't care about looks or they only care what's on the inside of the other. "BULL PUCKY", The first thing attract you to the other person is looks...so stop lying to yourself.....

UMA ~ apparently you weren't interested in the tattooed man thats why you got up and left. If he was a Brad Pitt look alike, I bet you wouldn't have left.. Am I wrong?

UMA ~ apparently you weren't interested in the tattooed man thats why you got up and left. If he was a Brad Pitt look alike, I bet you wouldn't have left.. Am I wrong?

I rather doubt that a Brad Pitt lookalike would have troubled himself to try to get aquainted with a "hungover ............ tired and generally fed up" woman either.

Patrick

I guess some people will think I am pretty, some other will think that I am not very pretty, some people think i am exotic, some think I am plain, some people think i am nice, some people think i am grumpy, some people think i am good person, some people think i am selfish...Everybody cannot like me, once I understood this principle I accepted easilier some people behaviour towards me. Yes people focus on look but is done by everybody, everybody will have a first impession depending on how you look, but is up to you to prove them wrong ( if they have the wrong impression or if you can be bother). some people even knowing myself more deeply don´t hold nice feeling towards me that´s ok I am sure that there are many people who think nice about me...

Loving yourself is hard work, it took me few years and still there are sometimes where i tell myself off...I am try to live following my values but sometimes i fail myself...but i don´t give up so, next time i try to do it better...

I think one of the first step on loving oneself is taking care of yourself inside and outside...

Edited February 2, 200620 yr by Glauka

Why are you critical on what other people think, but you were so critical on the tattooed gimp so quickly.

Touche.

No matter if you are Thai, Black, farang; you're always obsessed with looks. I think people are lying if they say that they don't care about looks or they only care what's on the inside of the other. "BULL PUCKY", The first thing attract you to the other person is looks...so stop lying to yourself.....

UMA ~ apparently you weren't interested in the tattooed man thats why you got up and left. If he was a Brad Pitt look alike, I bet you wouldn't have left.. Am I wrong?

If you are in the right mood or frame of mind to be receptive to a potential mate - God I sound like I'm narrating a nature programme! - then I suppose looks are the initial attraction because it's the first thing you notice about somebody.

As for the man who joined me, he was what most would consider to be very handsome but the fact he knew it gave him too much confidence and he came across as somebody who had used his looks to bed countless women with little effort required on the part of his personality, of which he had very little beyond vanity.

Then there's the plain fact that I was upset at the time and in no mood to talk to anyone.

Uma I suggest you take down the 'sexy' avatar if you are trying to convince anyone of your worth

I am not trying to convince anyone of anything seonai. The photo is by no means the 'sexiest' I have had taken but it was shot in Chaing Mai which was why I used it. I could have used a beach photo from Ko Samet but that would have been outright provocative, but taking into account my line of (part time) work my choice to use my own pic in my avatar has just landed me an 8,000 baht shoot in Bangkok where I spent the weekend. If I can use it to my favour then why not?

Of course some will say I love myself in the vain sense but that is something I will always have to put up with. I don't feel I need to explain myself to any of my other critics on this topic.

Edited February 5, 200620 yr by Uma~~

You look like a young Marie Osmond in that picture. Has anyone ever told you that?

You look like a young Marie Osmond in that picture. Has anyone ever told you that?

Thanks, I Googled her - she looks my mum.

You look like a young Marie Osmond in that picture. Has anyone ever told you that?

Thanks, I Googled her - she looks my mum.

Marie Osmond? nahhhhh. If you said Donny osmond than I might say "sure"

Not sure If I believed that you walked away the handsome tattooed man, but I'll keep that to meself

In my experience, majority of the women friends I have would say exactly the same as you ,but as soon as a handsome gents make a dash for them, they become like butter. Atleast until "the thrill" is over; than its back to old "look means nothing, and whats on the inside that counts"

BTW, I like your avatar, its not overly sexy and nice to see what the actual poster look like.