Going Out With The Thai /farang Family

[rcalsop]

I have suddenly realised when going out to the Mall shopping or when visiting a touristy thing I feel much more comfortable and we are better recieved when we are a complete family and the two kids are with us .

The response is far more open and the looks from the people passing are different... let me explain My wife ( Thai ) and I alone she is the wrong end of thirty years old but is still very slim ,tall and takes care of her self ...( no not one of the make up and Merc brigade ) .

The eye contact and service is I am sure that reserved for the group placed into the farang and a hired girl friend and I am sure it annoys my wife because she sees the subtlties more than me but she never mentions it . This is a judgement also applied by other farangs I am sure .

With the kids in tow the eye contact rountinue seems to be ,farang , girl ( ie the wife ) then the oldest child , and then the smaller child ,back to farang and a big smile and a movement / comment to the kids . With a fellow farang it is basically the same with an added eye to eye contact farang to farang and a special communication which seems to say good on you you got it right as well .

Any body else thought about this or experienced it .

[Patex]

Who gives a <deleted>?

Stop thinking about what others may think about you, this is crazy!

A few months ago I went with the 15 y.o. daughter to our favorite restaurant in the town. We are (the hole family) well known to the owner/staff there. Normaly there are no farangs but this day 4 Americans in company with 2 Thais, all wellsuited male, sat there too.

They looked really despaired just from our bare presence and the owner/staff acting normal as ever .

Great fun for all, except the 6 fellows

Patex

[astral]

Who gives a #####?

Stop thinking about what others may think about you, this is crazy!

Quite right.

[N&M]

Rcalsop.... Yes we are the same, but my missus is on the right end of 30

My missus does not care about the looks anymore, she has lived in another country and sees that the attitude of her fellow Thais at times are an embarrassment to them.

I do not care either, in fact never really have. But I have noticed that I wonder what people think at times now the longer we have been together, rather than when we were first together.

One thing for the future that may worry me is the looks or comments that may occur later in life when I am out alone with my 2 kids, one boy one girl. I am sure some ignorant people will make comment one day when they are early teens. I have rehearsed what I might do or say, but what eventuates at the time I am not sure. I know if it was a public at very noticable display by them, then the result may not be pretty.

A friend of mine with a 8yo boy got this treatment and look recently, he responded by speaking very loudly to his son in front of the ignorant people in fluent Thai.

[rcalsop]

Rcalsop.... Yes we are the same, but my missus is on the right end of 30

My missus does not care about the looks anymore, she has lived in another country and sees that the attitude of her fellow Thais at times are an embarrassment to them.

I do not care either, in fact never really have. But I have noticed that I wonder what people think at times now the longer we have been together, rather than when we were first together.

One thing for the future that may worry me is the looks or comments that may occur later in life when I am out alone with my 2 kids, one boy one girl. I am sure some ignorant people will make comment one day when they are early teens. I have rehearsed what I might do or say, but what eventuates at the time I am not sure. I know if it was a public at very noticable display by them, then the result may not be pretty.

A friend of mine with a 8yo boy got this treatment and look recently, he responded by speaking very loudly to his son in front of the ignorant people in fluent Thai.

Absolutely spot on !!!! (we also lived outside and travelled a lot out of Thailand as a family) , my daughter who is now developing into a young lady and we have a great relationship we shop together and do the pictures together etc ,she is very demonstrative and possesive with her DAD and holds hands etc .. But I already know this raises a few eyebrows where we are not known and incorrect judgement is often passed and this will get worse as she gets older .

Interestingly we tend to solve the issue not with Thai language but with my daughter using loud perfect accentless posh English to me this wakes them up .

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and comments its always good to know that you are not alone or paranoid .

I actually do not care on a personal basis but for my kids and wife I get annoyed .

Also for the other doubting Thomas`s out there .... it does matter if you have a Thai Employer ... your partner will be welcomed to company functions and propery ie meeting you after work comming to the office etc if she is suitable !!!!!! and the Kids add to that validity ...I do not make the rule I observe and comment and have to live by them .

another point I have also rehearsed or played through the senarios to deal with this issue is ever a problem arises

Ps the wrong end of 30 is nearer 40 ...clarification

[N&M]

Lol, well mine is the right end....29

[baan_yangyai]

Been Married 19 yrs. to Thai wife. We have 2 daughters, both now in their teens; both fluent in Thai and English. Yes, I agree that many so-called Poo-Dee Thais ALWAYS try to make Thai/Farang couples feel uncomfortable by staring in public encounters. But, I've found the Thais to be Extremely nationlistic, and anything smacking of 'different from us' will ALWAYS raise eyebrows(unless of course they actually konw you personally!). My youngest daughter (10 yo) is affected most by this treatment. I try to explain to her as best I can how to cope as thus: 1)Ignore the Ignorant SOBS

;2)You are alot better-off than them etc.

There is ofcourse no solution to this practice other than GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE THE BEST YOU CAN!

[Savage]

My daughter's only 1 and half months old. So far everybody out and about has been very nice and friendly. I think this all depends on where you live doesn't it?

I'm sure walking with a teenage girl will draw more raised eyebrows in say Pattaya than it would in less touristy places. Surely people can see the fact that the girls are 50% European can't they?

[wamberal]

I call it "nationalistic insecurity".

Who is really Thai? Are the Chinese-Thai? Are the hill-tribes? Are children of Thai/farang marriages?

I think that there is a bit of unresolved nationalistic tension over the fact that the King's first child married a farang.

Most of the antagonism is from the working class. Middle class and above just don't care, although they might feel superior if they perceive that the wife (Thai) is from the working class. And, especially, if she has been a sex worker.

[rcalsop]

My daughter's only 1 and half months old. So far everybody out and about has been very nice and friendly. I think this all depends on where you live doesn't it?

I'm sure walking with a teenage girl will draw more raised eyebrows in say Pattaya than it would in less touristy places. Surely people can see the fact that the girls are 50% European can't they?

They cannot always see immediately if the child is 50% farang ( that is why prolonged checking occurs ) some kids look very Thai , my son is dark skinned ,Thai hair but farang tastes , and a farang nose ....

You will find that this is a time thing as your child gets older you will change your opinion ..time will tell . Location yes Hand in hand with my wife in Nana Plaza I expect a certain judgement sad but the case , if I was stupid enough to walk there at night with my daughter the same applies .

I am refering to normal life .

I have never said that people have been unpleasant just more open and positive when the kids are there .

If you really want to feel uncomfortable try it if your daughter has just been repremanded for being to demanding or badly behaved and it starts the tears and a few foot stamps ....Then you start to look like a pervert farang trying to abduct a teenager unless you are well known in that location !!!.

As far as let people think what they want ( its not important it bloody well is )...it does not bother me as I said it may bother the boss and your Thai collegues ...I work mostly in HRD and see this frequently ... I even make the judgement my self, if a friend and his partner current and my self are to meet for a dinner /drink after work the offers to me of, we will meet up at your office! are always vigourously refused and I will meet them out side at the venue or go to collect them .

You can lose a lot of credibility easily and it is my job and paypacket that I have fought very hard to get in Thailand.

[tutsiwarrior]

in Thailand whenever I go anywhere I am accompanied by my wife, step daughter and usually at least 2-3 members of the extended family so I don't get stared at much. However once at the swimming pool at the Rembrandt I was alone with one of the nieces (12 y.o.) and got a lot of stares from the other falangs (the wife was off shopping with the rest of the crew). That was a bit disconcerting as I could tell from the stares that some were wondering if here was a pedophile openly cavorting with an underaged girl and not imagineing that a falang could have any association otherwise.

People eventually went back to minding their own business but not before I got a bit worried that some idiot was about to call hotel management/police. Meanwhile, the niece was having a ball sunbathing with the falangs (she's brown as chocolate)...

Edited January 28, 2006 by tutsiwarrior