Verbal Abuse From Student

[chonabot]

Of course we all get this on occasion when teaching, especially M3 kids

But today was a bit nasty. I was on my way to my scooter and noticed another bike was parked directly behind.

On the left of the parking area is a low level wall that school kids tend to sit on.

I saw a few M3 students of mine sitting and to be honest they were not my favourite bunch.

( I teach 14 x 60 M3 students classes plus a few M4 classes )

I asked if the bike was theirs and they just smiled, I asked them to move it and still no response.

I'd had a fairly busy day and didn't really need a showdown with these young chaps.

So I started moving the scooter gently and one of them said ' Bok Farang Bok hah ! '

I looked at him and said fairly forcefully - 'Is this your bike? If so move it please'

He didn't shift so I moved it a bit more and got on my scooter.

Unfotunately there still wasn't enough space - I looked at the kid again and said ' Move your bike !'

He sauntered over and was staring daggers at me and I asked - Mee ben hah mai ? '

He replied ' Ah bai loi bok ceedar bok heeah' ( sorry for bad translation but you get the jist ) - Just get lost white flesh fruited educator

I took off my helmet and said - I am your Teacher - you are in 3/5 - tomorrow you will have a problem with Kru yai'.

He replied again - ' Bok hah Yed mae '

Bearing in mind I was probably twice the size of this little buggerand really would have liked to give him a Glasgow Kiss I held my temper and rode off.

Funnily enough some students on a bike then nearly took me out as I turned onto the main school driveway - they were doing about 50 mph.

That would have made a few scoted chuckle no doubt.

So Tomorrow I will find him and bring him to the Director who is usually pretty severe with students who disrespect farang...yep theres a few here.

Is this a waste of time - should I just forget it until the next 3/5 lesson and then ask him to write ' I must not call my farang teacher a giant Lizard and make sexual remarks about his poor old mother - 1000000 times?

Edited September 13, 2012 by chonabot

[transam]

Don't forget it or your life will be shit.

[chonabot]

Point taken - just noticed loads of typos but unable to edit them...oh well

[Thaddeus]

I'd ask the Director if this obvious brat could be sent back down to M2 until he learns some manners.

[sirchai]

Bok hah Yed mae ' If somebody, a student or anybody else is telling you that, you HAVE to do something!

My mom died in my arms 11 years ago. It was Chinese New Year, when some pricks were looking for troubles. I overheard the <deleted> thing, but when a guy said "Yed Mae" to me, I couldn't stay calm any more.

Result was that five guys knocked me out, even being on the floor they're still kicking me like a punching bag.

Make this little <deleted> understand that you're his boss, even when you're not Thai.

If you don't do something more and more guys will do similar things to you, people will just laugh about you and you might even lose your job, because then you'd be the bad guy who can't deal with such a situation.

It's not the same meaning, when (some) Americans are using the same speech, even talking to their friends..........

Whatever you do, do SOMETHING. Good luck!----

Edited September 13, 2012 by sirchai

[simple1]

If this guy said "Yed mae" to another Thai he would be on the ground in a split second - it's about the worst insult you can say in Thai culture.

Don't know if it is accepted practice in Thailand, but if his mother/father were called to the school and briefed by your Director I'm sure they would be horrified and have a "quiet word" with their son

Edited September 13, 2012 by simple1

[siampreggers]

Insist that you and the director go to his classroom first thing, then both of ye frogmarch him down to an M1 class. He is to stand facing them the whole day with a sign around his neck with 'I have no manners' written on it.

He has to go to a different classroom for each period for the entire day. To start with...

His parents also have to be contacted and told what he is saying to teachers.

Then set up a video camera watching your scooter cause it's going to be damaged.

Teaching in Thailand sounds like fun.

Edited September 13, 2012 by siampreggers

[chonabot]

Thanks chaps - I have already phoned the head of my department, the lad will have a nice surprise after the flag ceremony tomorrow !

I'm not sure exactly how far he will be punished but the M1 route sounds nice siampreggers

Edited September 13, 2012 by chonabot

[Payboy]

Don't lose sleep over it. Darwin will take care of him eventually.

[goodguy]

The guys were sitting on the wall. So, why did you talk to them? Why didn't you simply just move the bike yourself and ride home? How did you know it was his bike? Maybe it wasn't. Maybe you set the whole thing up for yourself. He was speaking Lao to you. At first it was not too bad. When you make a bid deal out of it maybe you brought the whole thing on yourself. Which area is your school?

[kurnell]

The guys were sitting on the wall. So, why did you talk to them? Why didn't you simply just move the bike yourself and ride home? How did you know it was his bike? Maybe it wasn't. Maybe you set the whole thing up for yourself. He was speaking Lao to you. At first it was not too bad. When you make a bid deal out of it maybe you brought the whole thing on yourself. Which area is your school?

Is there some history there?

[thequietman]

You Sir, are completely in the wrong.

How dare you try to reprimand any thai peson. who the hell do you think you are ?

You are foreigner, you shouldnt be here, you are window dressing for the school, nothing more.

This student will still be in school next week and the week after that and the week......................

you however have brought attention to yourself............... why couldnt you just be white,handsome, make students laugh, come to school early/leave late, go to all staff parties and wai everyone all the while swallowing your pride and sense of right and wrong.

Did you not attend your thai culture course ?

your days in this school are numbered. you have made a nuisance of yourself.

this student will get spoken to and thats that. My God, do you seriously think they will take your side over his ? How can any thai student respect you when the thai teachers dont. you think he just picked this up on his own ? why would he feel it was ok to disrespect you ?

I hope something significant will happen but I doubt it.

They have never been invaded, dont you know !

[sirchai]

"But today was a bit nasty. I was on my way to my scooter and noticed another bike was parked directly behind." ( Whose bike??)

"I saw a few M3 students of mine sitting and to be honest they were not my favourite bunch." ( The students sitting there didn't like you at all)

"I asked if the bike was theirs and they just smiled, I asked them to move it and still no response." ( They didn't understand you and maybe it wasn't one of their bikes. Why would they remove a bike for you, if they don't like you?)

" I'd had a fairly busy day and didn't really need a showdown with these young chaps." ( You were exhausted, maybe because you couldn't handle some of them?)

"So I started moving the scooter gently and one of them said ' Bok Farang Bok hah ! ' ( Not yet really escalated)

I looked at him and said fairly forcefully - 'Is this your bike? If so move it please' ( Would you move a bike for somebody else, especially if you don't like him/her?)

He didn't shift so I moved it a bit more and got on my scooter. ( If it wasn't his, why should he?)

Unfotunately there still wasn't enough space - I looked at the kid again and said ' Move your bike !'" ( Whose bike? Did he understand you? You thought it was his bike!)

"He sauntered over and was staring daggers at me and I asked - Mee ben hah mai ? ( You were asking him ,if he wanted to fight in front of his friends!)

Is it possible that you already had many problems with some of them before? Could it be that they just hate you?

Of course, he shouldn't have said this about your mother, but is it possible that you'd started all this BS?

They were not your favorite bunch only means that they didn't like you, or? There're always two sides of a coin---------

-

Edited September 13, 2012 by sirchai

[thequietman]

From the OP

"But today was a bit nasty. I was on my way to my scooter and noticed another bike was parked directly behind." ( Whose bike")

"I saw a few M3 students of mine sitting and to be honest they were not my favourite bunch." ( The students sitting there didn't like you)

"I asked if the bike was theirs and they just smiled, I asked them to move it and still no response." ( They didn't understand you and maybe it wasn't one of their bikes)

" I'd had a fairly busy day and didn't really need a showdown with these young chaps." ( You were exhausted, maybe because you couldn't handle some of them?)

"So I started moving the scooter gently and one of them said ' Bok Farang Bok hah ! ' ( Not yet escalated)

I looked at him and said fairly forcefully - 'Is this your bike? If so move it please' ( Would you move a bike for somebody else, especially if you don't like him/her?)

He didn't shift so I moved it a bit more and got on my scooter. ( If it wasn't his, why should he?)

Unfotunately there still wasn't enough space - I looked at the kid again and said ' Move your bike !'" ( Whose bike? Did he understand you?)

"He sauntered over and was staring daggers at me and I asked - Mee ben hah mai ? ( You were asking him ,if he wanted to fight)

Is it possible that you already had many problems with some of them before? Could it be that they just hate you?

Of course, he shouldn't have said this about your mother, but is it possible that you'd started all this BS?

They were not your favorite bunch only means that they didn't like you, or? There're always two sides of a coin---------

-

you are missing the point.

no student would disrespect any thai teacher, no matter the circumstances.

foreign teachers are not respected in ANY school. they are tolerated.

why would any student feel it was ok to say what he said ? would they have said this to a thai teacher, no matter the provacation ? the answer is........... NO.

when asked by my head of department, how the issue of lack of respect from students for foreign teachers could be addressed, I responded........... get the director of the school to stand up at morning seminary and tell them...... if you disrespect our foreign teachers, then you disrespect me !

her response................. we can't do that.

just take your salary and relax.

Edited September 13, 2012 by thequietman

[sirchai]

From the OP

"But today was a bit nasty. I was on my way to my scooter and noticed another bike was parked directly behind." ( Whose bike")

"I saw a few M3 students of mine sitting and to be honest they were not my favourite bunch." ( The students sitting there didn't like you)

"I asked if the bike was theirs and they just smiled, I asked them to move it and still no response." ( They didn't understand you and maybe it wasn't one of their bikes)

" I'd had a fairly busy day and didn't really need a showdown with these young chaps." ( You were exhausted, maybe because you couldn't handle some of them?)

"So I started moving the scooter gently and one of them said ' Bok Farang Bok hah ! ' ( Not yet escalated)

I looked at him and said fairly forcefully - 'Is this your bike? If so move it please' ( Would you move a bike for somebody else, especially if you don't like him/her?)

He didn't shift so I moved it a bit more and got on my scooter. ( If it wasn't his, why should he?)

Unfotunately there still wasn't enough space - I looked at the kid again and said ' Move your bike !'" ( Whose bike? Did he understand you?)

"He sauntered over and was staring daggers at me and I asked - Mee ben hah mai ? ( You were asking him ,if he wanted to fight)

Is it possible that you already had many problems with some of them before? Could it be that they just hate you?

Of course, he shouldn't have said this about your mother, but is it possible that you'd started all this BS?

They were not your favorite bunch only means that they didn't like you, or? There're always two sides of a coin---------

-

you are missing the point.

no student would disrespect any thai teacher, no matter the circumstances.

foreign teachers are not respected in ANY school. they are tolerated.

why would any student feel it was ok to say what he said ? would they have said this to a thai teacher, no matter the provacation ? the answer is........... NO.

when asked by my head of department, how the issue of lack of respect from students for foreign teachers could be addressed, I responded........... get the director of the school to stand up at morning seminary and tell them...... if you disrespect our foreign teachers, then you disrespect me !

her response................. we can't do that.

just take your salary and relax.

I did NOT miss the point.

Go with the flow, or run away from the show. Love this country, or hate it.

Haven't had anything similar in almost eight years of teaching here. Just take your salary, smile and relax more often-----

[Scott]

Part of the job of a teacher is to instill certain values and treating people respectfully is one of the values. I run into this sort of behavior fairly often--it is usually directed at another teacher. Usually a little chat in my office with a Thai Admin is enough to straighten them out. If it is a pattern of behavior, then the parents are called in.

[Trembly]

"But today was a bit nasty. I was on my way to my scooter and noticed another bike was parked directly behind." ( Whose bike??)

"I saw a few M3 students of mine sitting and to be honest they were not my favourite bunch." ( The students sitting there didn't like you at all)

"I asked if the bike was theirs and they just smiled, I asked them to move it and still no response." ( They didn't understand you and maybe it wasn't one of their bikes. Why would they remove a bike for you, if they don't like you?)

" I'd had a fairly busy day and didn't really need a showdown with these young chaps." ( You were exhausted, maybe because you couldn't handle some of them?)

"So I started moving the scooter gently and one of them said ' Bok Farang Bok hah ! ' ( Not yet really escalated)

I looked at him and said fairly forcefully - 'Is this your bike? If so move it please' ( Would you move a bike for somebody else, especially if you don't like him/her?)

He didn't shift so I moved it a bit more and got on my scooter. ( If it wasn't his, why should he?)

Unfotunately there still wasn't enough space - I looked at the kid again and said ' Move your bike !'" ( Whose bike? Did he understand you? You thought it was his bike!)

"He sauntered over and was staring daggers at me and I asked - Mee ben hah mai ? ( You were asking him ,if he wanted to fight in front of his friends!)

Is it possible that you already had many problems with some of them before? Could it be that they just hate you?

Of course, he shouldn't have said this about your mother, but is it possible that you'd started all this BS?

They were not your favorite bunch only means that they didn't like you, or? There're always two sides of a coin---------

-

OK, so suppose they do just hate him. What is he supposed to do when his path is blocked by their bike that they refuse to move and moreover make a fuss about when he tries to move it?

[Trembly]

I teach in a 4000 strong Mattayom school where I've tolerated a repeat jeerer and all-round potty mouth (his efforts are intended to test me - I know without mistake because I speak both Thai and Isan fluently) for the whole term. I've tried every permutation that involves being polite and non-confrontational. Yesterday I turned around, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and gave him a good, stiff, clip round the ear. He was shocked and apologised profusely while his erstwhile fellow jeerers fled in double quick time.

I'll admit that it left a terrible taste in the mouth which lasted all day.

Today we are friends and he is a model of classroom decorum. He even brought his bass guitar into class to show me because he heard that I played the bass too.

Just a personal anecdote; make of it what you will.

Edited September 14, 2012 by Trembly

[saengsureeya]

Yesterday I turned around, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and gave him a good, stiff, clip round the ear. He was shocked and apologised profusely while his erstwhile fellow jeerers fled in double quick time.

So far, you're lucky.

Probably the kid won't tell his parents (loss of face), but if he does..........!!

Physical punishment is forbidden by law since 2005!!.

Let's hope for the best!

[chonabot]

The guys were sitting on the wall. So, why did you talk to them? Why didn't you simply just move the bike yourself and ride home? How did you know it was his bike? Maybe it wasn't. Maybe you set the whole thing up for yourself. He was speaking Lao to you. At first it was not too bad. When you make a bid deal out of it maybe you brought the whole thing on yourself. Which area is your school?

I talked to them because they were my students - and his bike had blocked mine - I had seen him on this bike - it's quite distinctive.

It's Thai culture for teachers and students to converse.

It's also Thai culture for the students to show some courtesy to their teachers.

I understand Lao/Isaan as I have been in and around this area for 17 years.

My school is in Kalasin - should I have accepted his bad manners and simply brushed it off?

He admitted today to the Director that he swore at me and apologised.

I find your post interesting - were you a social worker in the west?

Edited September 14, 2012 by chonabot

[chonabot]

You Sir, are completely in the wrong.

How dare you try to reprimand any thai peson. who the hell do you think you are ?

You are foreigner, you shouldnt be here, you are window dressing for the school, nothing more.

This student will still be in school next week and the week after that and the week......................

you however have brought attention to yourself............... why couldnt you just be white,handsome, make students laugh, come to school early/leave late, go to all staff parties and wai everyone all the while swallowing your pride and sense of right and wrong.

Did you not attend your thai culture course ?

your days in this school are numbered. you have made a nuisance of yourself.

this student will get spoken to and thats that. My God, do you seriously think they will take your side over his ? How can any thai student respect you when the thai teachers dont. you think he just picked this up on his own ? why would he feel it was ok to disrespect you ?

I hope something significant will happen but I doubt it.

They have never been invaded, dont you know !

[chonabot]

So to conclude and answer a few questions - I am a fairly popular teacher - no one hates me (AFAIK)and I have never had to call on a Thai teacher up until now.

He was ridiculed by his classmates today and I had a lot of support from the Thai teachers.

There is no bad history - I have been there one semester - I think the hormones got the better of a 15 year old lad who was trying to show off to his peers.

No rocket science but Thanks for all of your replies - especially the well thought out ones.

[chonabot]

"But today was a bit nasty. I was on my way to my scooter and noticed another bike was parked directly behind." ( Whose bike??)

"I saw a few M3 students of mine sitting and to be honest they were not my favourite bunch." ( The students sitting there didn't like you at all)

"I asked if the bike was theirs and they just smiled, I asked them to move it and still no response." ( They didn't understand you and maybe it wasn't one of their bikes. Why would they remove a bike for you, if they don't like you?)

" I'd had a fairly busy day and didn't really need a showdown with these young chaps." ( You were exhausted, maybe because you couldn't handle some of them?)

"So I started moving the scooter gently and one of them said ' Bok Farang Bok hah ! ' ( Not yet really escalated)

I looked at him and said fairly forcefully - 'Is this your bike? If so move it please' ( Would you move a bike for somebody else, especially if you don't like him/her?)

He didn't shift so I moved it a bit more and got on my scooter. ( If it wasn't his, why should he?)

Unfotunately there still wasn't enough space - I looked at the kid again and said ' Move your bike !'" ( Whose bike? Did he understand you? You thought it was his bike!)

"He sauntered over and was staring daggers at me and I asked - Mee ben hah mai ? ( You were asking him ,if he wanted to fight in front of his friends!)

Is it possible that you already had many problems with some of them before? Could it be that they just hate you?

Of course, he shouldn't have said this about your mother, but is it possible that you'd started all this BS?

They were not your favorite bunch only means that they didn't like you, or? There're always two sides of a coin---------

-

I preferred your first reply

How many times when you were a student in the west did you hear a students say they disliked a teacher, and for no other reason than something petty?

I teach 1000 kids per week and try my best to be civil to them - this kid apparently has a ahistory of being rude to western teachers.

I wish the Thai staff had told me this sooner - but that's life.

I asked him if he had a problem after he was trying to intimidate me - a natural male response.

Thanks all the same

[colinneil]

Slap the little bugger,this is how i fix them

[goodguy]

The guys were sitting on the wall. So, why did you talk to them? Why didn't you simply just move the bike yourself and ride home? How did you know it was his bike? Maybe it wasn't. Maybe you set the whole thing up for yourself. He was speaking Lao to you. At first it was not too bad. When you make a bid deal out of it maybe you brought the whole thing on yourself. Which area is your school?

I talked to them because they were my students - and his bike had blocked mine - I had seen him on this bike - it's quite distinctive.

It's Thai culture for teachers and students to converse.

It's also Thai culture for the students to show some courtesy to their teachers.

I understand Lao/Isaan as I have been in and around this area for 17 years.

My school is in Kalasin - should I have accepted his bad manners and simply brushed it off?

He admitted today to the Director that he swore at me and apologised.

I find your post interesting - were you a social worker in the west?

Thank you for answering a few of my questions. Maybe you could have put your additional information in your original post. Was I social worker in the west? No I was not, but maybe I could make some more money counselling a few frustrated Scottish educationalists in Thailand. You are taking things far too seriously there in Kalasin. Use your imagination.

[jcartermad]

Two weeks ago I had an M4 boy student fire an elastic ball at me. It struck me hard on the back of the neck. The class is quite hardcore. I tuned around, grabbed the student by the neck and hauled his sad Ass down to the Directors office where is duly bowed and said sorry. The Director made the student look really small and he was visably shocked at how quickly he received his verbal lashing.

He was then marched back to the classroom and sat there quite as a mouse with big face loss. The other boys slacked him rotten. The students supported me 100% and isolated the student completely. Next lesson, with me, he was sat all alone and feeling very sorry for himeself.

My car is fine. The students are fine and the only loser is this student who now regrets his actions.

Never let the student get away with anything like verbal or physical abuse. You will lose respect if you do.Stand up, be counted and watch the support pour your way.

Just my own experience guys. I don't want a debate but just wanted to share my own thoughts once.

[SlyAnimal]

I agree, you need to come down heavy on anyone who is disrespectful. The other students know what is right, and what is wrong, and will usually side with you if someone is stepping across the line. However, if they aren't siding with you, and if students think that they can say things to the OP as what they did, then they have very little respect for you. It could be an isolated incident, where just those particular students are an anomoly amoungst the student population. Although personally, I think that it's better to resolve an issue yourself, rather than bringing in a higher power, unless absolutely necessary, as then they have respect for you in your own right, rather than having respect for you simply because the director has your back soto speak.

However, it'd probably be worth examining your own actions in the weeks/months leading upto the incident, in order to find out if perhaps the students, as a whole, have lost their respect for you and your position of authority. If that is the case, then you need to seek to earn their respect back, otherwise you may see similar incidents happening again.

Alternatively, it could have been how the OP handled the issue, perhaps you were being more confrontational / bossy than what you intended. Because as my gf said when I told her the story, there's no way a student would ever even dream of saying that to a teacher....and definitely not to their face.... it'd go against everything which is ingrained within them. She was sure, that it must be because they already don't respect you + when you asked them to move the motorcycle, perhaps you told them, rather than asked, and did so in an offensive, threatening or demeaning way.

But then I wasn't there, and have never met the OP, so this is simply speculation. But the OP can perhaps think about the above, and think on if there could be something which he could have done/managed better in order to have resolved the situation without a problem having arisen.

(And that's not to take a dig at the OP, but to simply get him to think about what caused the incident. However as I said, it could also just be that the kid was a really bad apple).

Edited September 14, 2012 by SlyAnimal

[chotthee]

What is a Glasgow Kiss?

Something like a French Kiss?

[Thaddeus]

What is a Glasgow Kiss?

Something like a French Kiss?

Nope, head butt.

Butt as in goat. not butt as in bottom.

[teacher17]

Just be glad your Thai admin actually DOES something about it! In my previous school, the boys in M3 were awful (up to the point where they think it's ok to make sexual remarks to me-yes I'm a woman btw). At my new school, I teacher younger student's, so it's not much of an issue...although you might get a student who will talk back, refuse to do the work, or throw a spitball at you

It's best to tell the admin straight away. I'd never tolerate a student talking to me like that. Typical 15 year old boy trying to show off to his friends...when they grow up they usually realize how stupid they were (at least you'd hope so...) It's hard to know why kids act the way they do sometimes (peer pressure, family problems, etc,) but they need to know there are consequences.