Choice Of Woman?

[BlackArtemis]

Used to feel the same as OP, but then i just stopped giving a shit. I'm at a hotel near Suk 4 before I am off to Burma and there are tons of "couples" as the Op described. Do I want that for myself? No, not at all. But if they're two consenting adults, so be it. And if the guy gets taken advantage, well that's his own dam_n fault. In this day and age of the internet stories of disgenuine bar girls swindling farang for money are only a mouse click away. They either know what they are getting themselves into or deserve it for going in blind.

All in all, other than having to deal with it as I walk past, it is of no consequence to me. I have a far bigger problem with the young idiots in wife beaters and boarding shorts who act like Thailand has no rules, as I am closer to age with them, I get labeled with that BS.

[robblok]

@giddyup

Ill tell you a true story it might give you a bit more insight in me and a laugh perhaps. I don't care.

I once was young (even younger as now) and naive. I went to Thailand on a Holiday i was 26 had had some relations in the West even lived together with some girls. But i always liked Asian girls.

I met my ex wife in seacon square where she was buying creme for her beauty salon, she was 6 years older as me. Anyway fell in love took her back to the Netherlands (not right away of course). First she did not have kids then later she had 2 (first lie), so these came over after 2 years. The first year of our relation was great it went downhill from there.

I took care of her and her children, i loved / love them (they still visit my parents and me at times). Anyway she turned out to be real bad could not handle money and always wanted more.

We almost broke up a few times but i stayed because i pitied the children. In the end she said she was going to work at a massage place.. i found out it was a sex massage. That was the end. This was year 4. But i had a lot of problems before and stayed for the kids. Later i found out she cheated on me a lot even before she worked in that massage.

I don't for a moment blame the guys, she was available she wanted why would they have to refuse. (would be different if it was a close friend or something). Anyway thing is this episode made me realize that its better to look for a new girl then to cry over one that hurt you.

After me she got married an other 3 times in those 4 years, and her youngest daugher had to follow her through the Netherlands and Belgium switching schools all the time. The oldest had a bf she stayed with. Both those girls still love me and call me dad. They still contact me and even visit when they are on a holiday. That is the good thing that came from it.

So yes feel that its better not to feel sorry for ones self too much and just move on with your life.

Edited September 30, 2012 by robblok

[pigeonjake]

good on you rob, for sticking with the kids, thats a proper man,

i was adopted at 13months old,

good on you mate,

jake

[robblok]

good on you rob, for sticking with the kids, thats a proper man,

i was adopted at 13months old,

good on you mate,

jake

I sticked.. but when she went to work as a hooker.. that was the end. Anyway the kids still visit my parents (they live in Belgium / the Netherlands) and when i come over to the Netherlands i visit them. Last june, the oldest went back to Thailand for a holliday with her BF and we met up and had a holliday in koh Chang.

I just feel sorry for the youngest one, her education got messed up a lot. After me she had to move many times because her mother found new boyfriends / husbands. But in the end you have to choose for yourself.

[farang000999]

OP with the classic troll. they have been doing this one on thai message boards since the internet was invented i am sure.

[giddyup]

@giddyup

Ill tell you a true story it might give you a bit more insight in me and a laugh perhaps. I don't care.

I once was young (even younger as now) and naive. I went to Thailand on a Holiday i was 26 had had some relations in the West even lived together with some girls. But i always liked Asian girls.

I met my ex wife in seacon square where she was buying creme for her beauty salon, she was 6 years older as me. Anyway fell in love took her back to the Netherlands (not right away of course). First she did not have kids then later she had 2 (first lie), so these came over after 2 years. The first year of our relation was great it went downhill from there.

I took care of her and her children, i loved / love them (they still visit my parents and me at times). Anyway she turned out to be real bad could not handle money and always wanted more.

We almost broke up a few times but i stayed because i pitied the children. In the end she said she was going to work at a massage place.. i found out it was a sex massage. That was the end. This was year 4. But i had a lot of problems before and stayed for the kids. Later i found out she cheated on me a lot even before she worked in that massage.

I don't for a moment blame the guys, she was available she wanted why would they have to refuse. (would be different if it was a close friend or something). Anyway thing is this episode made me realize that its better to look for a new girl then to cry over one that hurt you.

After me she got married an other 3 times in those 4 years, and her youngest daugher had to follow her through the Netherlands and Belgium switching schools all the time. The oldest had a bf she stayed with. Both those girls still love me and call me dad. They still contact me and even visit when they are on a holiday. That is the good thing that came from it.

So yes feel that its better not to feel sorry for ones self too much and just move on with your life.

So, what does that say about a young guy with a Thai woman? According to you the young girls play up on the oldies because they aren't giving it to them often enough,or are old and wrinkly. What's your excuse? It's all about what kind of woman she is, not so much about age gaps. You say that the one who is with you now couldn't do any better. Unless you are Tom Cruise, they always can do better.

[nietzche]

OP

I usually never let on that I know Thai just because I think you can learn a lot from people when they think you are oblivious. This type of scenario happens all the time, i.e. guy comes into the bar with the Thai wife/GF who then proceeds to talk s**t about him to the other Thai people working/drinking there.

Why do loads of Westerners insist they speak Thai but hide it, so they can observe and learn?

Maybe all Thais speak English but hide it so they can observe and learn too....

I know real Thai speakers do not hide it, so it always makes me think the opposite when someone says they can speak Thai but hide it..that means they know touristy Thai..and then get words which sound

similar mixed up in meaning and context... its a pile of crock...you either speak Thai or you don't...you don't hide it...that is silly and stupid...

I studied Thai back in the U.S. prior to coming here.

[robblok]

@giddyup

Ill tell you a true story it might give you a bit more insight in me and a laugh perhaps. I don't care.

I once was young (even younger as now) and naive. I went to Thailand on a Holiday i was 26 had had some relations in the West even lived together with some girls. But i always liked Asian girls.

I met my ex wife in seacon square where she was buying creme for her beauty salon, she was 6 years older as me. Anyway fell in love took her back to the Netherlands (not right away of course). First she did not have kids then later she had 2 (first lie), so these came over after 2 years. The first year of our relation was great it went downhill from there.

I took care of her and her children, i loved / love them (they still visit my parents and me at times). Anyway she turned out to be real bad could not handle money and always wanted more.

We almost broke up a few times but i stayed because i pitied the children. In the end she said she was going to work at a massage place.. i found out it was a sex massage. That was the end. This was year 4. But i had a lot of problems before and stayed for the kids. Later i found out she cheated on me a lot even before she worked in that massage.

I don't for a moment blame the guys, she was available she wanted why would they have to refuse. (would be different if it was a close friend or something). Anyway thing is this episode made me realize that its better to look for a new girl then to cry over one that hurt you.

After me she got married an other 3 times in those 4 years, and her youngest daugher had to follow her through the Netherlands and Belgium switching schools all the time. The oldest had a bf she stayed with. Both those girls still love me and call me dad. They still contact me and even visit when they are on a holiday. That is the good thing that came from it.

So yes feel that its better not to feel sorry for ones self too much and just move on with your life.

So, what does that say about a young guy with a Thai woman? According to you the young girls play up on the oldies because they aren't giving it to them often enough,or are old and wrinkly. What's your excuse? It's all about what kind of woman she is, not so much about age gaps. You say that the one who is with you now couldn't do any better. Unless you are Tom Cruise, they always can do better.

You really don't understand do you, but that is ok. If my wife was a miss universe she might be able to get Tom Cruise. She is not, so within her abilities she got the best she could get. Maybe there are better ones but not that many. She just got a good one in her range.

The age gap thing is where money often dictates the choice it also attracts a certain kind of girls. Its only natural for girls like that that they play around. This however does not mean other girls don't play around it just happens less frequent. One does not exclude the other just the frequency.

Again not all age gap relations are in danger, just a larger percentage then "normal" relations. So if you are sure then don't worry so much.

But it was you who said you could only attract the young pretty ones if you could show your wallet first. That was in an other post. So you do know that money is a big factor. (not for all)

I doubt i could get a 17 yo coyote girl as my gf without me splashing money around. Its not hard for me to say so. I might get real lucky and find one that would not need money but my chances of that are not that big.

[giddyup]

Robblock

My point was, which you either missed or didn't want to respond to, why did someone 6 years older than your 26, with two kids, decide to leave you to go and work in a massage parlour? Was this someone doing better? You admit yourself that she always wanted more money. As I said previously, it's all about what kind of woman she is.

Edited September 30, 2012 by giddyup

[nietzche]

I think too many on this thread are being overly defensive.

No one has an issue with an old fellow being with a younger woman. It's the 'type' of woman that is the issue here.

There are many attractive normal Thai women who have decent jobs and an education who would be happy to be in a relationship with a nice westerner (regardless of age).

The issue is that too many men come here and get tied up with the bar girl types when there are plenty of better options out there for them.

[londoedan]

i would not have any problems doing her if she was. Its not my fault she is unfaithful, also the guy was not a friend just someone i met through mutual acquaintances. I was real surprised how she got my phone nr as i had not given it to her.

But im not out there cruising for other guys girls, but if one comes on to me hard its not my job to say no. Who knows what is going around in their relationship.

Nice - what goes around, comes around in my experience.

[giddyup]

I think too many on this thread are being overly defensive.

No one has an issue with an old fellow being with a younger woman. It's the 'type' of woman that is the issue here.

There are many attractive normal Thai women who have decent jobs and an education who would be happy to be in a relationship with a nice westerner (regardless of age).

The issue is that too many men come here and get tied up with the bar girl types when there are plenty of better options out there for them.

Sorry, but you are dead wrong on one point when you say that no one has an issue with older guys with young women. Plenty on this forum do. I agree with you about the "type" of woman it is though. There's plenty of money-hungry women here, and elsewhere in the world as well. Do you think Donald Trump would be bonking Miss World if he washed cars for a living?

[pigeonjake]

money will allways be in some relationships,

and im saying this because not just in thailand,

ive said this on another post,look at some footballers, they arnt handsome but by <deleted> do they have the money, now look at there girlfreinds, stunning,,

are they with them for money, you bet your ass they are,

are some girls with there parners for money, again yes,

but then you have the ones that just want a better life, not to much money, ive seen it many times when a western man is with a girl, they have a house not big one, they are not rich but not poor, but its a better life for the young lady, roof over her head, i dont think every relationship in thailand is about money, some yes but not all,

it happens all over the world, when i was in brazil, i bloke used to come to a bar with 2, yes 2 stunning girls, he was maybe 52 something like that, but he had a big car all the trimings, its not just thailand,

if you are happy with your life just keep going as you are, dont worry what others think,

jake

[driedmango]

There is some guys that attractive women pay to sleep with.. just saying

[driedmango]

I have also seen guys with less attractive women than they could easily have plenty happy.... just saying. I would rather have a women that wants me as much as i want her, and nowadays, sadly in some ways, others not, they might even bring home the bacon while your cleaning the house.

[daftpunker]

and the point is.

the point is it makes him feel good talking about it

[robblok]

Robblock

My point was, which you either missed or didn't want to respond to, why did someone 6 years older than your 26, with two kids, decide to leave you to go and work in a massage parlour? Was this someone doing better? You admit yourself that she always wanted more money. As I said previously, it's all about what kind of woman she is.

It was better for her some days she made 20.000 bt( in euros of course). Paid no taxes, so it was a money / freedom thing.

She was a crazy woman and i found out too late. Live and learn

Sent from my GT-I9300T using Thaivisa Connect App

[driedmango]

next time find a women that matches up with you better.. stop drooling over the trouble making women looking for money and stuff.. find one that really treats you right !

[TommoPhysicist]

I think too many on this thread are being overly defensive.

No one has an issue with an old fellow being with a younger woman. It's the 'type' of woman that is the issue here.

There are many attractive normal Thai women who have decent jobs and an education who would be happy to be in a relationship with a nice westerner (regardless of age).

The issue is that too many men come here and get tied up with the bar girl types when there are plenty of better options out there for them.

What better options?

Where would you meet better options?

Why would a 'better option' even talk to you?

What makes you think an educated girl with a good job would be a better bet? (wouldn't they just expect more from you?)

Edited September 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[samran]

Another Thai girl bashing thread oh dear

wouldn't have thought so.

This is what I call a 'shaking your head thread'. One where you witness something, and for the life of you, can't understand why people put themselves in those situations where all and sundry can see that person are going to get screwed.

Purely incidental that the OP had a chat to the 'Girlfriend' and she was trash talking her sugar daddy.

My thinks that given the fact that the OP was younger and a Thai speaker the 'Girlfriend' saw a good opportunity to trade up.

[nietzche]

I think too many on this thread are being overly defensive.

No one has an issue with an old fellow being with a younger woman. It's the 'type' of woman that is the issue here.

There are many attractive normal Thai women who have decent jobs and an education who would be happy to be in a relationship with a nice westerner (regardless of age).

The issue is that too many men come here and get tied up with the bar girl types when there are plenty of better options out there for them.

What better options?

Where would you meet better options?

Why would a 'better option' even to talk to you?

What makes you think an educated girl with a good job would be a better bet? (wouldn't they just expect more from you?)

Where would you meet better options? The same places you meet women back in your home country.

Why would a 'better option' even talk to you? The same reason a woman may want to talk to you back in your home country.

What makes "" educated girl ......? It's just my opinion that a woman who doesn't have sex with thousands of men for money would probably be more stable/trustworthy.

Finding a woman is not rocket science. You just need to apply the same methods you probably did back in your home country:

1. Develop a personality

2. Go to the gym, exercise, dress well and maintain good personal hygiene.

3. Learn to speak Thai. It's not difficult and it will open up a whole new world of options regarding women.

[richard_smith237]

I think too many on this thread are being overly defensive.

No one has an issue with an old fellow being with a younger woman. It's the 'type' of woman that is the issue here.

There are many attractive normal Thai women who have decent jobs and an education who would be happy to be in a relationship with a nice westerner (regardless of age).

The issue is that too many men come here and get tied up with the bar girl types when there are plenty of better options out there for them.

What better options?

Where would you meet better options?

Why would a 'better option' even to talk to you?

What makes you think an educated girl with a good job would be a better bet? (wouldn't they just expect more from you?)

Don't judge by your own limitations Tommo.

The Op speaks Thai, is young, good looking (we assume). He can meet plenty of decent well educated girls much in the same manner he would back in his home country.

I don't know why this is a difficult concept for some to understand.

IF you hang around in an area populated with whore-mongerers you are unlikely to find the 'good one'...

However, remove yourself from the shady stereotype; as many have and can, then there is a wealth of normal folk to befriend in Thailand.

Through this normal life it is very easy to live a fulfilling and normal existence.

Act like scum back home and you will be surrounded by it, live with it and see it on a day to day basis.

It is always the same types who ask the 4 similar questions to Tommo above... I have just one.. Tommo, do you live in Pattaya ?

[lovelaos]

Me and the Mrs were in some western bar the other day and decide to have a bit of a giggle.

We both spotted this young guy sitting in the corner picking his spots.

You know the type - late 20's, polyester trousers, white shirt (sometimes with cheap tie) smug "look at me, I work in Thailand, I'm not a tourist" grin on his face.

He was blatantly staring at us, obviously infatuated with our relationship, my wife's good looks and slender body.

The plan was for the wife to strike up a conversation.in Thai along the lines of 'I hate my old husband' and see the guys reaction.

I played along, pretending not to understand what was being said. The Mrs played a blinder, even touching the poor guys leg at one stage. You should've seen the look on his face, obviously the type of guy who can't get a girlfriend because he looks at every Thai woman as a bargirl, doesn't really understand what is going on around him and doesn't earn enough money to give a woman the finer things in life.

After watching the poor kid squirm for a while we both got a bit bored of his terrible comprehension of the Thai language and decided to go home and have mind blowing sex. As we were leaving, I heard him say to his mate "I'm going to post about this on Thaivisa"

[TommoPhysicist]

Don't judge by your own limitations Tommo.

The Op speaks Thai, is young, good looking (we assume). He can meet plenty of decent well educated girls much in the same manner he would back in his home country.

I don't know why this is a difficult concept for some to understand.

IF you hang around in an area populated with whore-mongerers you are unlikely to find the 'good one'...

However, remove yourself from the shady stereotype; as many have and can, then there is a wealth of normal folk to befriend in Thailand.

Through this normal life it is very easy to live a fulfilling and normal existence.

Act like scum back home and you will be surrounded by it, live with it and see it on a day to day basis.

It is always the same types who ask the 4 similar questions to Tommo above... I have just one.. Tommo, do you live in Pattaya ?

Yeah, but he isn't talking about young, good looking foreign men that speak Thai, he's talking about older expats.

Jeez RS, I can probably beat you (and him) on all counts of education, wealth, looks, fitness level, Thai language skills and ability with women.

But I can't beat you on youth, not that it matters, because you aren't meeting 'better options' than me, you're just gullible enough to think you are.

Same old daftness ..... yours is different, blah blah, yeah, sure she is SUCKER!

Edited September 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[GuestHouse]

I think the OP needs to set about doing some wider research - perhaps investigating the incidence of expats cheating on their darling 'Thai Girls'.

One young woman married to an old guy putting it out there pales, I suspect, into insignificance, compared to expats making detours on the way back from their golf (for example).

[nietzche]

Don't judge by your own limitations Tommo.

The Op speaks Thai, is young, good looking (we assume). He can meet plenty of decent well educated girls much in the same manner he would back in his home country.

I don't know why this is a difficult concept for some to understand.

IF you hang around in an area populated with whore-mongerers you are unlikely to find the 'good one'...

However, remove yourself from the shady stereotype; as many have and can, then there is a wealth of normal folk to befriend in Thailand.

Through this normal life it is very easy to live a fulfilling and normal existence.

Act like scum back home and you will be surrounded by it, live with it and see it on a day to day basis.

It is always the same types who ask the 4 similar questions to Tommo above... I have just one.. Tommo, do you live in Pattaya ?

Yeah, but he isn't talking about young, good looking foreign men that speak Thai, he's talking about older expats.

Jeez RS, I can probably beat you (and him) on all counts of education, wealth, looks, fitness level, Thai language skills and ability with women.

But I can't beat you on youth, not that it matters, because you aren't meeting 'better options' than me, you're just gullible enough to think you are.

Same old daftness ..... yours is different, blah blah, yeah, sure she is SUCKER!

But I can't beat you on youth. I don't think this is entirely true. Age is a lot less important in Thailand than back in the west. But if you're 60 years old and looking for a 21 year old, then of course, you're going to have to pay.

Nothing wrong with getting old. We all get old. Just that some choose to do so gracefully and with dignity.

[Pacificperson]

Don't judge by your own limitations Tommo.

The Op speaks Thai, is young, good looking (we assume). He can meet plenty of decent well educated girls much in the same manner he would back in his home country.

I don't know why this is a difficult concept for some to understand.

IF you hang around in an area populated with whore-mongerers you are unlikely to find the 'good one'...

However, remove yourself from the shady stereotype; as many have and can, then there is a wealth of normal folk to befriend in Thailand.

Through this normal life it is very easy to live a fulfilling and normal existence.

Act like scum back home and you will be surrounded by it, live with it and see it on a day to day basis.

It is always the same types who ask the 4 similar questions to Tommo above... I have just one.. Tommo, do you live in Pattaya ?

Yeah, but he isn't talking about young, good looking foreign men that speak Thai, he's talking about older expats.

Jeez RS, I can probably beat you (and him) on all counts of education, wealth, looks, fitness level, Thai language skills and ability with women.

But I can't beat you on youth, not that it matters, because you aren't meeting 'better options' than me, you're just gullible enough to think you are.

Same old daftness ..... yours is different, blah blah, yeah, sure she is SUCKER!

But I can't beat you on youth. I don't think this is entirely true. Age is a lot less important in Thailand than back in the west. But if you're 60 years old and looking for a 21 year old, then of course, you're going to have to pay.

Nothing wrong with getting old. We all get old. Just that some choose to do so gracefully and with dignity.

And some decide that they need a little red sports car.

[richard_smith237]

Don't judge by your own limitations Tommo.

The Op speaks Thai, is young, good looking (we assume). He can meet plenty of decent well educated girls much in the same manner he would back in his home country.

I don't know why this is a difficult concept for some to understand.

IF you hang around in an area populated with whore-mongerers you are unlikely to find the 'good one'...

However, remove yourself from the shady stereotype; as many have and can, then there is a wealth of normal folk to befriend in Thailand.

Through this normal life it is very easy to live a fulfilling and normal existence.

Act like scum back home and you will be surrounded by it, live with it and see it on a day to day basis.

It is always the same types who ask the 4 similar questions to Tommo above... I have just one.. Tommo, do you live in Pattaya ?

Yeah, but he isn't talking about young, good looking foreign men that speak Thai, he's talking about older expats.

Jeez RS, I can probably beat you (and him) on all counts of education, wealth, looks, fitness level, Thai language skills and ability with women.

But I can't beat you on youth, not that it matters, because you aren't meeting 'better options' than me, you're just gullible enough to think you are.

Same old daftness ..... yours is different, blah blah, yeah, sure she is SUCKER!

The I'm better than you game on an anonymous web forum !!!

With that golden droplet of stupidity as evidence the credibility of your 'I can probably beat you' statement is already lost.

[TommoPhysicist]

Don't judge by your own limitations Tommo.

The Op speaks Thai, is young, good looking (we assume). He can meet plenty of decent well educated girls much in the same manner he would back in his home country.

I don't know why this is a difficult concept for some to understand.

IF you hang around in an area populated with whore-mongerers you are unlikely to find the 'good one'...

However, remove yourself from the shady stereotype; as many have and can, then there is a wealth of normal folk to befriend in Thailand.

Through this normal life it is very easy to live a fulfilling and normal existence.

Act like scum back home and you will be surrounded by it, live with it and see it on a day to day basis.

It is always the same types who ask the 4 similar questions to Tommo above... I have just one.. Tommo, do you live in Pattaya ?

Yeah, but he isn't talking about young, good looking foreign men that speak Thai, he's talking about older expats.

Jeez RS, I can probably beat you (and him) on all counts of education, wealth, looks, fitness level, Thai language skills and ability with women.

But I can't beat you on youth, not that it matters, because you aren't meeting 'better options' than me, you're just gullible enough to think you are.

Same old daftness ..... yours is different, blah blah, yeah, sure she is SUCKER!

The I'm better than you game on an anonymous web forum !!!

With that golden droplet of stupidity as evidence the credibility of your 'I can probably beat you' statement is already lost.

You started it!

SUCKER!

[saroq]

I don't think that you speaking to the girl, in Thai, behind the man's back, was particularly decent of you (if indeed that was the case).

I too don't see the point of your post other than perhaps an ego shot?

Let me clarify. I was not speaking about the man negatively. As I have said he was very nice and I was trying my best to avoid it.

My issue is with the fact that he was a decent guy who was being taken advantage of by this girl.

Yes point taken and I don't know why your post got everyone's back up because you're making an observation and asking a question about why a seemingly nice older guy was duped into marrying a girl who didn't like him.

You answered your own question when you said "And it's generally the decent folks who get taken advantage of the most." People tend to view people and the world from the stand point of their own values and beliefs. Someone who would not take advantage of someone else will have trouble seeing that someone else could do this and therefore they get taken advantage of. Of course you may have also caught the girl on a bad day and she was just complaining.

To my fellow 50something TV readers do you honestly think that that pretty 20something is with us without factoring in other qualities that make up for our age? For example a steady income, less of a wandering eye than a young guy and most of all that we're easier to catch than the young guys who want to continue to play the field. I've been very happily involved with a 20something for more than 5 years but I never was naive enough to think that my age was the attractive attribute that made her want to be with me. But I also made sure that I chose a Thai woman from a normal background, university education level and not a bar girl.

Edited September 30, 2012 by saroq