A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Talking of cars I got a compliment on my driving today , someone put a note on my wind shield that said "Parking Fine"

A guy said to me today, can you give me a lift? I said, " sure, you look great, the world's your oyster - go for it"

........

Once there was a magical mirror.

When you told the truth it gave you things, but if you lie to it, it makes you vanish forever.

One day three college girls went to the mirror.

The red head said "I think I'm the smartest one."

Then she got a diploma, scholarship, and got accepted into all the colleges in the world.

The brunette then said "I think I'm the prettiest one."

Then she got a Corvette, mansion, a good looking boyfriend, and a lot of money.

Then the blonde said " I think...*poof*"