Little Johnny On Marriage

[Ron19]

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class.

Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Johnny?

Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon.

Teacher: Wow !! what a choice... do you want her to be beautiful

and calm like the moon?

Johnny: No, I want her to arrive at night and fuc_k off in the morning!

Edited October 10, 2012 by Ron19

[ravip]

Lil' Johnny at it again!‏

Teacher asks the kids in class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Lil' Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b_itch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson:

And you, Tanya?

"I wanna be Lil' Johnny's b_itch!"

[ravip]

At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines.

Sister Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

The First pupil said: 'Tylenol'

'Very good! And what is it used for?'

'It is used for a Headache.'

The Second pupil said: 'Nytol..'

'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine. 'And what it is used for?'

'To help you Sleep', replied the student.

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.'

‘And what is it used for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister Catherine.

'It is used for Diarrhea.'

'And who told you this, Johnny?'

'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father; “Take a Viagra, and maybe that s_hit will get harder.''

Sister Catherine fainted

[cuddleypete]

like it

[ravip]

Little Johnny Sells Toothbrushes.

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Chips & Dip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog s_hit!"

Then I would say," It is dog s_hit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the government approach of giving you something s_hitty for free, and then making you pay to get the s_hitty taste out of your mouth."

Edited October 24, 2012 by ravip

[ravip]

Paul and Mary get married, but couldn't afford a honeymoon. So they go back to the house of Paul's parents, to spend their first marital night, together.

In the morning, Johnny - Paul's little brother - gets up, and has his breakfast. As he is going out of his front door, to go to school, he asks his mom, if Paul and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No."

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear, what you think! You just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch, and asks his mom, "Are Paul and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No".

Johnny says, "Do you know, what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind, what you think! Eat your lunch, and go to your tution class.

After tution, Johnny comes home and asks again from his mum, "Are Paul and Mary up yet?"

His mom says, "No".

Johny asks, "Do you know, what I think"?

His mom replies, "O.K O.K. NOW tell me, what you think".

Johny says, "Last night in the dead of night, Paul came to my room, for my tube of Vaseline. And I think I accidentally gave him, my tube of Super-glue".

Moral of the story:- "It pays to listen to kids".