Angry Catfish...another Sawai Story.

[Jotham79]

Birds hell……angry catfish!!!!!

It actually started a few days earlier when my wife, daughter, stepson, and I were eating dinner in our kitchen. Now, our kitchen is open air in that it has walls up about 5 feet and then wood lattice. There are normally a few bugs flying around the overhead fluorescent light, but that night there were also a few bees. Usually this only happens when a swarm moves into the northeast corner of our upstairs (every 3 years or so) and the kitchen is in their flight path. I get up and start to go through the screen door that separates the kitchen from the rest of the house when a bee decides to fly down between my glasses and my left eye. I suppose she must have felt trapped because she, and we all know that the she bees are the ones flying around doing work, starts beating my left eye with her little bee wings. It has been about 3 months and I still cannot find the words to adequately describe this sensation, but were I a masochist, I believe the word might be exquisite. Literally, in the blink of an eye, I knock my glasses off; commence slapping my face like Curly of the Three Stooges and try without success not to say any very very bad words. I sit down and take a bottle of cool water and wash all the little bits of bee and bee dust, presumable pollen, and feel a bit better. I guess the stinger was sticking out of my eyelid, because my family made me sit down so my stepson, Dtom, can grab a hold and yank it out. There is quite a bit of redness and my wife accusingly declares that I will have a very swollen eye in the morning like I did this on purpose. The next morning my eye is perfectly normal and this bothered my wife to no end and she told me several times that I should have had a swollen eye. She gets upset if I get hurt (which is frequently) or if she is wrong (almost never) and deals with it in an odd way.

So it is 2 days later and I get my wife to drop me off at a local fishing park where 2 weeks earlier I had caught a 20 kg (45 lb) catfish and that morning I had a good feeling. I get all set up with my chair and umbrella (the summer sun in the tropics can literally kill you) and the wife takes off to town to get some work done on our old truck and run some other errands. I get my two rods baited and set out and get a bite in just a couple of minutes…this is a good sign. It is a small catfish of about 2 pounds and maybe 16 inches long. I get it out off the water and move it to my left side and I get a bite on my second rod. Now I know it will be a good day and when I start to reach down with my left hand to grab the first fish when it makes a big flop and drives its right barbed fin into the side of my left knee. This fish did not like being stuck in my knee and began beating my left calf like a drum with its tail. Nothing it did was able to get it loose. I get a piece of cloth and grab the fish and try to pull it out and can’t so I get my pliers and cut the fin. I then unhook the fish and return it to the lake. The fish on the second rod is slightly bigger. I land it and CAREFULLY unhook it and return it to the lake. This is looking like a great day except I have a quarter of an inch (a little over 2mm) piece of fin sticking out of the side of my knee. If it is still there when my wife returns there will be hell to pay so I take the pliers and give it a good tug. It doesn’t give even when I pull it a full inch out and I am really impressed with the elasticity of human skin. I give it a couple of more tugs and still nothing. Now I’m facing a dilemma; do I give a really big pull and just rip it out and continue fishing (I got a feeling this could be the day) or call my wife. There is pain radiating from my hip to my ankle, but nothing that would keep me from fishing…..I mean I could still stand, cast, and wield a dip net. If I stay, I may never be left alone fishing again so I call the wife to come take me to a doctor. We leave everything there by the lake. My wife agrees because she wants to get me to a doctor and me because I want a reason to come back and continue fishing in the same spot. My wife tells me that she has seen me be careless with fish a number of times. She knew it was only a matter of time until a fish stuck me in the leg, but she couldn’t tell me because I would get mad. Like I said, she doesn’t like it when I get hurt. We get in the truck and we start heading away from town and out into the country. When asked, my wife said she was taking me to a nearby clinic. I tell her to hurry and she thinks I’m scared and I am……that the fish will stop biting before I get back! We arrive and I make my wife walk up the stairs and check that someone is there before I walk up the stairs. This area floods so the clinic has to be built up. We are in luck and the doc is in and only one person is ahead of us. It is about a 20 minute wait and we are in with the doctor. She takes a pully thing and gives the piece of fin a tug and pulls it a full inch out, but it doesn’t give. She is also impressed with the elasticity of my skin and gives a 2^nd tug and this time the piece of fin goes back in a different way. I feel pain in my teeth! If I yell at her I’ll have to go into town to the hospital and I’ll never get the fin out of my leg and there goes the rest of the day. She gives me a tetanus shot and numbs the area. Then she takes a scalpel to make the whole big enough to get the fin out. It’s finally out and she shows it to me and holy crap that was a big piece of fin. It was about a half inch (just over a centimeter) and the barbs were impressive. Coming to the doctor was clearly the right move. It had to have been right up against the bone and now I know I have to get back to the lake. I had some serious health issues last spring and realized that every time I have bad luck, something really good happens. Before this I thought every time something good happened that something bad would follow, but it seems I had the cause and effect turned around. I really look forward to bad news now. Anyway, between the bee and fish fin, I was going to have a killer day if I could get back to the lake. Maybe I should have had my wife take me into town to buy some lottery tickets, but I was in pain and I had fishing fever!!!!! The doctor took the fin out to show my wife, the nurse, and 2 other folks from the country that had come in so everyone can see what the stupid foreigner got stuck in his leg. I ask the doc to please hurry so as soon as she knows the bleeding has stopped she puts on a bandage and gives me some antibiotics. I pay the $10 bill (which is cheap even by Thai standards) and we head back to the lake. Now, my wife understands the good luck thing. And she knows I am right, plus she still has stuff to do and doesn’t want me sitting the truck in the sun in the tropics (she really is fond of me). I get left at the lake and my wife tells the old lady that runs the lake to keep an eye on me. I proceed to catch nine more catfish each over 4 lbs (2kg) and four of which are over 11 lbs (5kg) for the best day I have had for most fish and highest total weight (around 40 kg or 90 lbs) . I can’t wait for some more bad luck…. as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with bees.

[montrii]

This is a great story. I think you should put it in actual print! Belongs in an anthology of Expat experiences in Thailand. Classic.

[jackinbkk]

This reminds me of the time I was working on a rod. I left it on the floor to go and do something else. Then I came back maybe 30 minutes later, totally forgetting what I had been doing. I felt a crunch as I stood on a size 4 treble hook with barbs. I'd put my full body weight on my foot so the hook had gone right up into my heel. After trying to pull the hook out for about 30 mins which was really painful I put my foot in ice water to totally numb it. I probably spent the next hour pulling with all my strength to get it out, using pliers. It was a horrible feeling but I knew if I couldn't do it a doctor would have to do the same.

Eventually I got it out. The first thing I do with any hooks now is take off the barb. Hooks come straight out without a barb (something I proved again this weekend! Ouch! This time in my finger) and make it much more sporting with the fish.

I heard last week when I was in Spain that a fishermen had a hook come out of the fishes mouth just as it was being landed. The line wrapped around the fish but the hook impaled itself into the mans leg under his knee. He got the fish but the thrashing had driven the hook deep into his leg. He got a photo and then went off to hospital to remove the hook.

Still at least you didn't get stuck like this: