What's The Big Deal About Marrying A Girl You Met In A Bar ?

[nontabury]

Yes i have to agree.But also funny, why so many are worried about where they meet?

The fact be this, any place where you will be in Thailand, as farang, there will be the thais there also. and why are they there? Of course to gain advantage and make money from farang, is the only reason

ie. again..that is why they are there in that place, because it have farang there, they can better themself from farang...money...meet a farang to buy them house ect ect

Even if outside of tourit zone or in small town many still have this attitude,even worse,be bargirl or no

why can some not understand but think because they meet girl with good job or at Khao san road which they beleive is not really bar, they believe they did good and argue on TV his GF better than everyone else?

Yes very well said.

Personally my point is to avoid any areas where there are any farang at all, only consider girls with zero level of English and as close to zero level of experience with men in general as possible.

Remember, a fool and his money are easily parted.

In the end it all boils down to common sense and experience wherever you are or whatever envirorments one maybe placing themselves in.

There are certain places where I may enjoy visiting, without restricting myself to only specific establishments, but would still treat with caution. It`s that simple.

Ah,common sense, that's something many farang men leave behind in their own country,

[The Smithy]

i am no expert but my experience is that under 25 Thais do in fact have a fairly decent level of English.

Where oh where are you meeting these people?

Out of the say 2000 Thais I've met between 15 and 25 over the past few years, maybe twenty can hold a conversation above the stock 20 sentences starting with "where you come from"?

"Where oh where are you meeting these people?"

I can only assume you were never a Premier account holder with HSBC.

Would it also be safe to assume you have had no dealings with either Aberdeen or ING in Thailand?

Would I also be correct in assuming you have never visited the Sindthorn building on Wireless Rd?

Plenty of well eductaed young Thai professionals with excellent English skills, a friends daughter has just been offered 40k per month to work with Toyota, she is 22 and speaks English and Japanese.

By the time these youngsters progress up the corporate ladder many of them are earning salaries most farang here can only dream of.

We must mix in differing social circles.

So do you think banks that launder money,or fix interest rates like the London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR) give you the most credibility,I'm quite interested?

[DrTuner]

It's like only looking for a wife in the prison sector and telling everyone 'not all of them are bad!'. Yes, perhaps not, but why the hell are you looking for a wife amongst so many poor choices.

None of the men I know married to ex-BGs were looking for a wife. They were screwing their brains out on a holiday or business trip and found something they liked by accident. I think it's called the shotgun approach.

[endure]

An off-topic baiting post has been removed.

[NeverSure]

I think it's called the shotgun approach.

No chance it's called the squirtgun approach?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Ok no problemo.

I can understand where the bitterness jealousy and resentment comes from, you have just explained it. We dont all live in some one buffalo town in the middle of nowhere. My experiences come from living in Bkk and Chan.

And where is this fabled Chan?

Note that the majority of Thais live outside of the large population centres.

Coupled with the facts that the majority of Thais have received very little decent education, and the majority of Thais are dirt poor even by local standards.

So you tell me which represent "the real Thailand" - your rarified circles or the one most of us mix with that you and your snobby friends put down as buffaloes ?

I know which I would much prefer to have my back in a pinch, and which I'd prefer to direct any efforts at building true community and family connections. I find upper-class Thais to be insufferable bores and snobs, often lacking in even the most basic human virtues of tolerance and kindness toward others less fortunate.

Edited October 26, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Where oh where are you meeting these people?

Out of the say 2000 Thais I've met between 15 and 25 over the past few years, maybe twenty can hold a conversation above the stock 20 sentences starting with "where you come from"?

mostly 20-30 yo uni educated Thais in Bangkok.

You'll note I didn't ask for further clarification of "who" but "where"

If the answer is "customer-facing jobs targeting wealthy foreigners at large corporations" then of course.

Again out of the thousands of uni students I've been teaching over the years, including those on their way to studying for higher education degrees in English-speaking countries, only a very small minority have a decent level of English.

Most are better at reading and writing than speaking, but still overall struggle very hard to get say a level 5 on the IELTS exam.

I know for a fact that if you objectively tested every Thai who graduated locally with a degree in the English language you would find they averaged maybe 3, I doubt beyond 4.

And I'm pretty sure this would be a higher level than 95% of the population you cite, 99.999% of the age population removing the tertiary graduation filter.

Which makes the wider generalization a total crock.

Edited October 26, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Note also that advising people in search of a decent partner to avoid looking for them in farang-frequented areas or places that serve alcohol is a completely different thing from making assumptions about each others' spouses after you've made your choice based on any criteria other than knowledge of the facts.

Speaking for myself, even in the hypothetical scenario that I met you and your wife, and recognize that she had been sex-worker in the past, even if one that I had rejected as a scam artist back in the day, I wouldn't presume to make a judgment about the quality of your relationship nor deprecate the odds of its future success.

My point is simply advice for those in the market to let the context act as a natural filter to help improve your odds.

Those serious enough about the hunt will go to the trouble of learning Thai - if that helps you find the girl that matches your target profile - and also will create a decent context for putting themselves in contact with that group other than simply "looking for a girl", which of course in itself will attract the scammers.

Edited October 26, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[kurnell]

Anybody want to own up to marrying a girl from a hoover bar?

who will be the first to admit he married a girl who worked at the eden club, "she is different, she worked on the other side of the line"

You're too cynical mate

[BigJohnnyBKK]

You're too cynical mate

But funny you've got to admit.

At Baccara they've got no such line, every girl's got to agree in advance to take it that way with any customer that likes it as a pre-condition to the (very lucrative) employment. Difference between Belgian and French management styles I presume.

[GuestHouse]

I'm not sure why people are so concerned about other people's opinions on who they choose as a wife.

More attention ought to be paid to the opinions of the bride to be and the lies we all tell ourselves.

[chiangmaikelly]

I'm not sure why people are so concerned about other people's opinions on who they choose as a wife.

More attention ought to be paid to the opinions of the bride to be and the lies we all tell ourselves.

It's the Thai Visa mix. 1 braggart, "I can only assume you were never a Premier account holder with HSBC.

Would it also be safe to assume you have had no dealings with either Aberdeen or ING in Thailand?

Would I also be correct in assuming you have never visited the Sindthorn building on Wireless Rd?"

2. A couple of guys who actually know some Thai people and tell the braggart off. And. 3. Guys who know nothing about Thai women mouthing platitudes.

It gives the thread legs.

[payak]

still never recieved a reply, never do on this matter.

my wifes parents speak english, 2 brothers speak english, sister speaks english.

all are very well educated, and no there not hi so half chinese or whatever.

the men are never questioned for there english ability, only the girls, double standard.

could it be that men who are with a certain type, are the ones judging because they have not seen highly educated girls before.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

still never recieved a reply, never do on this matter.

my wifes parents speak english, 2 brothers speak english, sister speaks english.

all are very well educated, and no there not hi so half chinese or whatever.

the men are never questioned for there english ability, only the girls, double standard.

could it be that men who are with a certain type, are the ones judging because they have not seen highly educated girls before.

That's a very rare family here - I presume they are not poor.

The odds are of course much better that they didn't learn their English from playing catch-a-farang.

The Thais will of course have much more reliable instincts about judging people's socio-economic status. Not that I consider it relevant to the price of eggs myself but then again I don't think there's anything wrong with sex workers in the first place.

Many of whom are male here by the way.

[payak]

still never recieved a reply, never do on this matter.

my wifes parents speak english, 2 brothers speak english, sister speaks english.

all are very well educated, and no there not hi so half chinese or whatever.

the men are never questioned for there english ability, only the girls, double standard.

could it be that men who are with a certain type, are the ones judging because they have not seen highly educated girls before.

That's a very rare family here - I presume they are not poor.

The odds are of course much better that they didn't learn their English from playing catch-a-farang.

The Thais will of course have much more reliable instincts about judging people's socio-economic status. Not that I consider it relevant to the price of eggs myself but then again I don't think there's anything wrong with sex workers in the first place.

Many of whom are male here by the way.

her dad made no secret of his absolute hatred of me at first, we are very close now.

just a concerned father.

[payak]

i do know another family who speak good english to, they are from isan also, both are principals of a school, both parents

[GuestHouse]

CMK, I'm sorry if what I said hit a nerve.

If you allow yourself to calm down before reading it again you'll find it contains nothing all offensive ( though I do accept the truth can hurt sometimes).

You'll also discover I make no reference to personal wealth or my use of financial services either.

Perhaps you got your threads all muddled up this morning or perhaps even you are responding to something that you imagined ( I accept that might seem real to you but you've gone off on an unsubstatiated rant)

[BigJohnnyBKK]

her dad made no secret of his absolute hatred of me at first, we are very close now.

just a concerned father.

Yes from the stories they tell, the default assumption is that we're all out to spirit their daughters away overseas and sell them to the mafia to get chained to a bed in the local brothel.

Unfortunately enough reality behind the myth to make the suspicion well-justified, just a bit exaggerated as most such stories are.

[payak]

nothing to fight about hear guys, not playing mod but we are above that.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

nothing to fight about hear guys, not playing mod but we are above that.

I don't see anyone fighting but since I also can't see what Guesthouse is referring to maybe they're on my ignore list - forgot how to check that. . .

[Kilgore Trout]

I don't care where people perceive I met my wife twenty two years ago. They can think what they like.

Walk the streets of a western city like Sydney or London and 90% of those who see you will gleefully think you're with a BG anyhow. You could go to the mall with Yingluck .... and they'd STILL think it. Who cares?

Good Point - So i'm correct in the assumption that all falangs think because you have an Asiatic wife you met under less selubiuos circumstances.

This sterio type is a hard one to crush in the western world no matter how hard you try.

"I am correct in the asusmption that all falangs think ....."

Geez, who adheres to stereotypes?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Good Point - So i'm correct in the assumption that all falangs think because you have an Asiatic wife you met under less selubiuos circumstances.

This sterio type is a hard one to crush in the western world no matter how hard you try.

Not "all", but in places where the percentage of such relationships is high, that is the default assumption.

Just stating that I've lived in Thailand causes everyone back home to immediately assume I'm a raving sex maniac and whoremonger.

Which in my case happens to be true for the former but not the latter 8-)

[Chittychangchang]

At the end of the day it's not about where you met your other half!

It's all about the now, the present and the future.

[chiangmaikelly]

I don't care where people perceive I met my wife twenty two years ago. They can think what they like.

Walk the streets of a western city like Sydney or London and 90% of those who see you will gleefully think you're with a BG anyhow. You could go to the mall with Yingluck .... and they'd STILL think it. Who cares?

Good Point - So i'm correct in the assumption that all falangs think because you have an Asiatic wife you met under less selubiuos circumstances.

This sterio type is a hard one to crush in the western world no matter how hard you try.

"I am correct in the asusmption that all falangs think ....."

Geez, who adheres to stereotypes?

Happens to me all the time. She is taking pictures with the darn phone all the time and people assume my wife is a BG.

[Chittychangchang]

Ha, is that Rupert Murdoch and his bodyguard/wife?

[GuestHouse]

If you believe in marriage as a good thing and as a foundation of family, life long relationships and indeed as possitive contributor to the good of wider society, and I personally do believe this, then the background of any married couple is irrelevant.

Man and wife deserve respect of others in their marriage.

Mote than that, marriage is from time to time not an easy path for everyone - If you believe in marriage then you ought also support people in their marriage.

Snide criticism based on a fraction of understanding undermines people and the marriage they are making.

Choose your wife as you will, if others are to weak to respect her it says nothing of you or you wife.

My respect to anyone who chooses to make a go of a marriage - regardless.

[chiangmaikelly]

Ha, is that Rupert Murdoch and his bodyguard/wife?

People say we look alike. You know seen one Aussie you've seen them all.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

If you believe in marriage as a good thing and as a foundation of family, life long relationships and indeed as possitive contributor to the good of wider society, and I personally do believe this, then the background of any married couple is irrelevant.

Man and wife deserve respect of others in their marriage.

Mote than that, marriage is from time to time not an easy path for everyone - If you believe in marriage then you ought also support people in their marriage.

Snide criticism based on a fraction of understanding undermines people and the marriage they are making.

Choose your wife as you will, if others are to weak to respect her it says nothing of you or you wife.

My respect to anyone who chooses to make a go of a marriage - regardless.

100% agree with this post, sound thoughts well written.

IMO many people fail to create/maintain solid families due not only to indulgent selfishness - a big problem in my own case I admit - but also to their unrealistic expectations and definition of the institution. Separating sex as play and love as feeling on the one hand, from love as an ongoing commitment and process on the other, IMO is also critical.

[Chittychangchang]

Ha, is that Rupert Murdoch and his bodyguard/wife?

People say we look alike. You know seen one Aussie you've seen them all.

Fair play to his wife! She doesn't take any prisoners!

[Naam]

Anybody want to own up to marrying a girl from a hoover bar?

i know a bloke who married a girl who worked at tesco electrical department, i think she sold hoovers.

yes, who will be the first to admit it, "she is different, she did not swallow"

those with skinny wives who ingest their food with a syringe intravenously