Thai Judgment

[payak]

me and my wife have a wonderful relationship, we are never really apart, we are practically joined at the hip and have been for years, very honest fun and loyal relationship.

she has a cousin however who has a farang man, who usually hangs around the village, she hangs around bangkok, they both root like rabbits(not with each other), both dont know about each others habbits but everyone else knows.

now in the village he is a very generous man, buying beer or whatever for whoever, a real sucker really, and a sexual deviate of the highest order, me i have many flaws but i'm faithful and good to my wife.

now here is the thing that amuses me, does not bother me but amuses me, outside of my wifes direct family and very few close friends, they see him as almost saintly, "oh he good good man he buy me many thing he nice man".

good man generous (sucker, deviate, Disloyal)

Bad Man (sticks to direct family only)

thai judgement leaves a lot to be desired.

You will never catch me buying friends

[mauGR1]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

[arthurwait]

You don't get on then ?

[payak]

You don't get on then ?

no he's me get on fine, but it does not change the shallowness i see, the hangers on.

he done me a favour, keeps them away from me.

[kevvy]

so??? just same old gossip . get on with your own life and dont worry about them .

[Tolley]

I generally dont worry what ignorant uneducated peasants think about me. YMMV

[payak]

I generally dont worry what ignorant uneducated peasants think about me. YMMV

it doesnt worry me, the culture of it amuses me, but hell we have to discuss something here.

havn't you ever known a person who is so downright dodgy in every way that they should be locked up, and due to lack of communication, and an eagerness to pull the wallett out he is seen as an angel.

then the thai lady gets hurt, they wonder what happened and why he changed, truth is he never changed at all, just stopped dishing out the dollars, then he was suddenly a bad man to.

[payak]

to many, but not all, just so many ladies judge a man by how much he gives her.

there are some amazing men they probably miss out ion who have less to give, but if they wised up would enjoy there time with them more.

[TommoPhysicist]

to many, but not all, just so many ladies judge a man by how much he gives her.

there are some amazing men they probably miss out ion who have less to give, but if they wised up would enjoy there time with them more.

From what I've seen ....... the more you give them, the less they like you.

Edited November 8, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[jacktrip]

welcome to thailand

[payak]

to be fair there are good ones

[Beetlejuice]

Just another oddball farang.

Most of them seem to have peculiarities. I actually score they’re them on the weirdness scale from 1 to 10. Number one is totally screwed up to ten slightly peculiar, then over that to comparatively normal.

Normal as regards being a family man with a working class or middle class wife roughly about the same age, perhaps has kids, lives in Thailand completely above board, doesn’t need to hassle in order to stay and support himself and family and is reasonably sociable.

The normal farang ex-pat seems to have become an endangered species and may possibly become extinct in the near future.

[kevvy]

there are many good ones, everyone just tells stories about the bad i have a wonderful wife and i know others who have the same . and we did not meet at the bar .

[BigJohnnyBKK]

You judge the guy to be a "deviate" (sic) just because he's unfaithful to his wife - I consider that to be bizarre, not the Thai-style judgement of good and bad by the very simple standard "good for me" or "bad for me".

This to me makes perfect sense, I don't think it's our job to judge others as good or bad by some supposedly objective standard which in fact is usually just conformity to some arbitrary cultural standard.

Perhaps the couple has an understanding? Or even if they are deceiving each other, is it really any of your business?

And likewise if he likes to "waste" his money by spreading it around, how can you see that as a failing? If he ends up down and out broke and comes to you for help, well that's when you can say I told you so if insist, but until then "up to him" right?

I guess just don't understand what skin you've got in the game other than the desire to see yourself as morally superior because you choose to be monogamous and more cautious financially.

[payak]

You judge the guy to be a "deviate" (sic) just because he's unfaithful to his wife - I consider that to be bizarre, not the Thai-style judgement of good and bad by the very simple standard "good for me" or "bad for me".

This to me makes perfect sense, I don't think it's our job to judge others as good or bad by some supposedly objective standard which in fact is usually just conformity to some arbitrary cultural standard.

Perhaps the couple has an understanding? Or even if they are deceiving each other, is it really any of your business?

And likewise if he likes to "waste" his money by spreading it around, how can you see that as a failing? If he ends up down and out broke and comes to you for help, well that's when you can say I told you so if insist, but until then "up to him" right?

I guess just don't understand what skin you've got in the game other than the desire to see yourself as morally superior because you choose to be monogamous and more cautious financially.

your not the full quid are you, not at all, the guy is a deviate for more reasons then one, but i'm not going to write a book here i'm getting to the point.

and yes i am morally superior to him, he is a disgrace for cheating on his wife and vice verca.

[trainman34014]

He is a Man with no confidence and low self respect. Any Man who has to 'buy' friendship and/or screw as many Women as possible is a very sad person.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

your not the full quid are you, not at all, the guy is a deviate for more reasons then one, but i'm not going to write a book here i'm getting to the point.

and yes i am morally superior to him, he is a disgrace for cheating on his wife and vice verca.

He is a Man with no confidence and low self respect. Any Man who has to 'buy' friendship and/or screw as many Women as possible is a very sad person.

Sad is as may be, but to me moral righteousness is best reserved for more serious issues than those of sexual preference.

Do you feel the same way about other "deviate" activity such as homosexuality, BDSM maybe you think oral sex is disgusting and a sin against the lord, how far does your prudery go?

And again, how can you be sure they are indeed cheating on each other? Perhaps they have a more flexible attitude than you know, more open arrangements are far from unusual not only here but back home.

This doesn't have to mean disclosing all the details of our other partners, simply choosing to ignore what we know is going on because it doesn't bother us.

To each their own AFAIC.

[ThaiRich]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

[tinfoilhat]

I generally dont worry what ignorant uneducated peasants think about me. YMMV

i'll do you one better, i never married one.

[tinfoilhat]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

say it enough you will believe it too

[ThaiRich]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

say it enough you will believe it too

I don't have to say it enough. I know how to read and here it is on wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thailand

Being occupied and being colonized are very different things. Yes, Thailand has been occupied. No, Thailand has NEVER been colonized.

Edited November 9, 2012 by ThaiRich

[mauGR1]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

Yes, technically you are right, but i was meaning the subtle guilty feeling many ( including me ) , carry with them when thinking about past history.

For me, it quite explains why many of us behave so naively in third world countries.

( now, you can start a debate whether Thailand is a third world country or not )

[arthurwait]

He either likes to play the big man in the village when no one would take any notice of him in his own country or even in Bangkok or he is very lonely and buying friends or he has discovered that spending a few hundred baht on booze a night gets him laid with the skanks of society that hang around with drunk alcoholics as they are themselves and hang around drunk alcoholic men as they are the only men that will go near them.

I'd probably guess at the first. Actually no I'd guess at all 3.

Most likely no one respects him and are just using him and if they do respect why would you want respect from drunks and scroungers ?

His wife isn't interested in him by the sounds of it for whatever reason.

Edit: The hard working people of Thailand don't respect either farangs or Thais that are like this. It will be you getting on with your life sober who they respect. I know which type peoples respect means more.

Edited November 9, 2012 by arthurwait

[BigJohnnyBKK]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

The kind of guilt he's referring to is a more diffuse one toward brown people in general.

And the fact that Thailand has never been a colony isn't nearly as important as the Thais would like to think, except to their over-inflated nationalistic pride.

Edited November 9, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[mauGR1]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

The kind of guilt he's referring to is a more diffuse one toward brown people in general.

And the fact that Thailand has never been a colony isn't nearly as important as the Thais would like to think, except to their over-inflated nationalistic pride.

Well, not necessarily brown people, i remember as a young boy, being stuck in my deep feelings when i saw the picture of the young Vietnamese girl being burnt by napalm bombs, walking naked and crying desperately among indifferent , full geared American soldiers.

I read later she was adopted and given an education by some wonderful American family.

I still think Europeans and Americans have a lot to be forgiven.

[ThaiRich]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

Yes, technically you are right, but i was meaning the subtle guilty feeling many ( including me ) , carry with them when thinking about past history.

For me, it quite explains why many of us behave so naively in third world countries.

( now, you can start a debate whether Thailand is a third world country or not )

Yes, Thailand is a 3rd world country and no, Thailand is not a 3rd world country. Depending on how you choose to use the phrase "third world".

Yes, I get what your saying and I agree with you. Just for conversation sake.

The term Third World arose during the Cold War to define countries that remained non-aligned with either capitalism and NATO (which along with its allies represented the First World), or communism and the Soviet Union (which along with its allies represented theSecond World). This definition provided a way of broadly categorizing the nations of the earth into three groups based on social, political, and economic divisions. Due to many of the Third World countries being extremely poor, it became a stereotype such that people commonly refer to undeveloped countries as "third world countries," often used in a pejorative way.^[1][2] Over the last few decades, the term 'Third World' has been used interchangeably with the Global South and Developing Countries to describe poorer countries that have struggled to attain steady economic development.^[3]

Third World countries includes most of Africa, Latin America, and Asia. However some exceptions exist to this rule. Some European countries were part of the non-aligned movement and a few were and are very prosperous, including Switzerland and Austria. In the so-called dependency theory of thinkers like Raul Prebisch, Theotonio dos Santos, and Andre Gunder Frank, the Third World has also been connected to the world economic division as "periphery" countries in the world system that is dominated by the "core" countries.^[3] Due to the complex history of evolving meanings and contexts, there is no clear or agreed upon definition of the Third World and the term is now less popular than it was during the 1970s and 1980s.^[3]

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Well, not necessarily brown people

Simply meant non-white.

Do you seriously consider Asians to be "yellow" skinned?

[payak]

your not the full quid are you, not at all, the guy is a deviate for more reasons then one, but i'm not going to write a book here i'm getting to the point.

and yes i am morally superior to him, he is a disgrace for cheating on his wife and vice verca.

He is a Man with no confidence and low self respect. Any Man who has to 'buy' friendship and/or screw as many Women as possible is a very sad person.

Sad is as may be, but to me moral righteousness is best reserved for more serious issues than those of sexual preference.

Do you feel the same way about other "deviate" activity such as homosexuality, BDSM maybe you think oral sex is disgusting and a sin against the lord, how far does your prudery go?

And again, how can you be sure they are indeed cheating on each other? Perhaps they have a more flexible attitude than you know, more open arrangements are far from unusual not only here but back home.

This doesn't have to mean disclosing all the details of our other partners, simply choosing to ignore what we know is going on because it doesn't bother us.

To each their own AFAIC.

homosexuality doesnt bother me, but they should remain faithful if they commit to each other.

oral sex is great, i dont care what the lord thinks as im not of the Abrahamic faiths.

if being honest and not being full of bs makes me a prude, then thats what i am, but i will be screwing tonight.

[akspace]

From your description I see one bad man and one interesting man. The first one is judgmental and gossips. The other sounds like he would be fun at a party. I'll let you figure out which one you are.

[tinfoilhat]

IMHO, lots of white people come to Asia with a sense of guilt, a sort of karmic debt for the colonialism of the past.

I was deep into it until i came to live in Thailand, to discover that the poor lady i was buying the drinks from, despite being more pricey than elsewhere, is the owner of countless houses, boats, cars and plots of farmland.

She's my landlady now, and she looks as poor as ever.

Any white person that is in Thailand feeling guilty about colonialism is an IDIOT.

Thailand has never been a colony of any country.

say it enough you will believe it too

I don't have to say it enough. I know how to read and here it is on wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thailand

Being occupied and being colonized are very different things. Yes, Thailand has been occupied. No, Thailand has NEVER been colonized.

it is a semantic argument despite the teachings of the oracle wiki.

Thaliand may never have actually been colonized, but the country is rife with colonial influences.

They have also given up large amounts of territory to avoid the pressure of colonial powers, so, arguably, parts of Thailand have been colonized.