Why Do Men Expect Bar Girls To Love Them?

[SteeleJoe]

Because they're friends with benefits....as long as you don't pick a nutter.

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Truth. A crucial skill to acquire -- how to avoid the nutters (or at least keep them at a safe distance).

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[farangme]

Because they're friends with benefits....as long as you don't pick a nutter.

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Truth. A crucial skill to acquire -- how to avoid the nutters (or at least keep them at a safe distance).

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Never forget, nothing is free in TL.

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[cheechoo]

It must be nearing Christmas already, all these Ho Ho Ho threads are popping up.

Yes, Santa will be emptying his sack

Everyone's been so good.

Maybe so many expect bar girls to love them because so many believe in Santa Claus too.

i bet lemoncake believes in mr klaus!

[SteeleJoe]

Because they're friends with benefits....as long as you don't pick a nutter.

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Truth. A crucial skill to acquire -- how to avoid the nutters (or at least keep them at a safe distance).

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Never forget, nothing is free in TL.

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Your lessons are wasted on me, whippersnaper! I learned them when you were probably just a wee lad -- and I'm happily settled down these days (and probably no longer have the looks to play the game the way I used to).

I should have added that the aforementioned benefits weren't the only reason I had "hookers" as friends, some of them were great people who I had a lot of fun with and were very kind to me (when all I was doing was paying for food and drinks and taxis/petrol -- and often even when I wasn't).

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Edited November 16, 2012 by SteeleJoe

[TimTang]

If you don't think I know that girls (even bar girls) like orgasms -- or that they are more forthcoming when they know you know the game -- then you have clearly missed MY point (contained in the admittedly convoluted stuff that comes after "Forgot about this part...". To be more blunt, and to risk sounding like I want to get into some sort of glory days pissing contest, I think "handjobs on demand" sounds like a pretty poor achievement when I consider what I used to get when I wanted it, just for the asking.

Chances are I learned about the game -- very well, as I was living, working and partying with those who play it for a couple years -- before many of the posters ever thought of coming to Thailand (or were even born, in some cases). Trust me: I know the advantages of knowing it and the girls knowing you know it.

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I'm not on some quest for "hand-job-on-demand". First of all I don't DEMAND anything from anyone! It just happens occasionally and I don't complain. I don't buy girls out from the bar because I've been burnt in the past. If a girl feels compelled to please me I'll tip her for her efforts. This is not a regular scenario.

[cheechoo]

Does an overweight, old guy with receeding gums and hairline really think that a bar girl is dancing around a pole and being 'bar fined' because she wants to... 99% of these girls are in it for the money - to support their family. Is it really possible for a 'pay for play' girl to fall in love after being a hooker. Is she really just using the guy for money / financial security

what are the 1% in it for?????????????????????????

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Why would anyone want to be friends with a hooker?

They can be great people, certainly better than most I've met with lots of money.

And much more morally sound than the average lawyer or Wall Street banker or politician or. . .

I've borrowed money from working girls here that I hadn't seen for five years, and they didn't even ask where I lived, knew I was good for it.

Edited November 16, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[maprao]

The OP seems to overlook that BG's are people who have their non bar counterparts.

Plenty i am sure ,but we are not discussing them ,only BG s and their male lovers.

ps. to be PC i suppose we should add gentelmen who fall for ladyboys and other men

Because coming to Thailand makes you bisexual! Have you not read the thread?

[hotandhumid]

Dear oh dear, could you possibly be any more boring?

[tingtongtourist]

First off..love cannot be found in bar.whatever it is you find in bar i do not know what it is to say, but it definately NOT love

second..most people who in this sorry state to comit suicide do not do because of bargirl, this only the last blow, it mainly have issues to do with a lot of previous event in their life and also deep hidden emotional problem that go on for a long time

third I dont understand about this seperation from bargirl and normal girl. to me is all the same. many of the one we call NORMAL girl i meet still lie and want to get advantage from farang.even they think not much different from BG

really, you think you so sexy that the normal hi/so girl want you for your charm and good look? haha

at least with bargirl they do not hide their motive but normal girl think no different really

[tingtongtourist]

First off,this is not having a go at bar girls or the few men who have found true love in the bar, although i always found that having lots of money makes you far more interesting and handsome(just look at Bernie Ecclestone,where would he have found a 6 ft model at his age if he was a roadsweeper)

Anyway i constantly read about guys who kill themselves because some bar girl or as they are called in other countrys ,hookers kill themselves when she desertes them .What did they expect ,its their job ,they are wrking ,and nobody works for free ,so when he cannot afford to pay her any longer ,she is off ,just like the gardener or the plumber if you couldnt pay for their services .

To anyone who has found true love in the bar ,this is not aimed at you ,best of luck .

do you lot agree?

Yes, you are having a go at them.

The 1st bold text indicates your intent.

NO, he is not having a go at them, if anything he is having a go at the losers falling in love w/ a prostitute.

whats the point, every farang you meet try to insinuate your girl is hooker and his is better

OMG i try to come here to get away from western attitude but only find it again when i meet farang

now i know why better to stay in appartment in suburb and mix with thai people only

[tingtongtourist]

Does an overweight, old guy with receeding gums and hairline really think that a bar girl is dancing around a pole and being 'bar fined' because she wants to... 99% of these girls are in it for the money - to support their family. Is it really possible for a 'pay for play' girl to fall in love after being a hooker. Is she really just using the guy for money / financial security

what are the 1% in it for?????????????????????????

they have a fetish for old farang with beer belly who is smelly and have bad breath?

[noob7]

have you looked at some of these men, they are lucky to have a bar girl, even for a night.

You'd be surprised! Women can sense self confidence in a man and might find him attractive regardless what he looks like. I'm no Brad Pit, but I've accumulated enough female companionship where I could get a handjob on demand if I expressed my desire. It's not like we're exchanging wedding vows, we just have a mutual understanding and I might just want to get my rocks off at that particular time. It's not rocket science, it's just knowing the right people that also know you.

Wow, a handjob on demand! You ARE living the dream...

Sorry for the sarcasm but back in the day I could get a lot more than that! But as to your main point, I've always said that one of the great thing about women is that they aren't generally as superficial as men when it comes to physical attractiveness: of course they like a guy to look good but it's often not quite as high a priority as it would be for most guys -- and confidence, charm, sense of humor etc can go a long way towards getting you laid. (Now if you look fairly good and are relatively young and you have those qualities -- you can have more women than you can shag, for free)

Forgot about this part: with a small (but significant change) used to be totally spot on for me and no odubt is for plenty of others. Indeed I would use an explanation very much like this when I would tell people that 1) it wasn't necessary to pay for sex and 2) good sex could be had with a BG

"It's not like we're exchanging wedding vows, we just have a mutual understanding/connection on a superficial but real level and she and I might just want to get our respective rocks off at that particular time. It's not rocket science, it's just knowing the right people that also know you."

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You're missing the point! It's not just "hand-job on demand"! When they know that you know the game they're more forthcoming. It may come as a surprise to you but girls like orgasms too.

But that's the same, with good food. You have to try it, minimum once, before you can say 'I like it'.

[noob7]

KUDOS! Many that come here are naive about the situation and those are the ones that jump off buildings or do other stupid things without actually understanding the girls they believe they are in love with. The girls actually start liking you when you understand their predicament. That doesn't mean they will marry you but they at lease accept you as a friend.

Why would anyone want to be friends with a hooker?

It's the same, like in 'real life'.

A good looking woman is nice to you. But you aren't a customer!

That makes other good looking woman in the area think about, why it is so!

You may not get a shot with the friend, but it can open other encounters. Only because of curiosity.

[SteeleJoe]

KUDOS! Many that come here are naive about the situation and those are the ones that jump off buildings or do other stupid things without actually understanding the girls they believe they are in love with. The girls actually start liking you when you understand their predicament. That doesn't mean they will marry you but they at lease accept you as a friend.

Why would anyone want to be friends with a hooker?

It's the same, like in 'real life'.

A good looking woman is nice to you. But you aren't a customer!

That makes other good looking woman in the area think about, why it is so!

You may not get a shot with the friend, but it can open other encounters. Only because of curiosity.

Yep.

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[farangme]

Hookers for all my friends. In fact, hookers for hookers. Total debauchery. Enjoy today, for ye not know what tomorrow may bring.

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[BigJohnnyBKK]

I suppose you may actually believe what you're saying, but don't you think you're a bit heavy with the over-generalizations?

First off..love cannot be found in bar.whatever it is you find in bar i do not know what it is to say, but it definately NOT love

. . .

third I dont understand about this seperation from bargirl and normal girl. to me is all the same. many of the one we call NORMAL girl i meet still lie and want to get advantage from farang.even they think not much different from BG

whats the point, every farang you meet try to insinuate your girl is hooker and his is better

now i know why better to stay in appartment in suburb and mix with thai people only

I think you're right, better for both you and the farang.

[krisb]

Why do men expect Thai girls (much younger than them) to love them?

Is a much more interesting question.

Or

Why do foreigners expect Thais to love them?

I'm sure bar girls are as capable of love as any other girls.

Why wouldnt Thais love them?.....no one ever said white must marry white.

Why do men expect Thai girls (much younger than them) to love them?

Is a much more interesting question.........troll question.

[macksview]

i would certainly hope i never fall in love with a thai prostitute,i am but a simple man, who has spent a lot of my life dealing with nutters,loons,pyschopaths, there is no way i am capable of mixing it with a prostitute who for some inexplicable reason i have fallen in love with.

Are you a politician?

aha toad you are perceptive, no i am not, but i have to deal with them.

i wish never to take the bill clinton defence.

sometimes my replys may seem verbose,but sometimes to get your point across gently, therefore not alienating the marginal people in societies globally,one must be reflective yet responsive,on some threads i am one sentance wonder.

Edited November 16, 2012 by macksview

[Stradavarius37]

Because men are stupid when it comes to women...always have been. Not enough blood to operate both heads at once.

[meatballs]

There is no such thing as "love". Basically, a "relationship" is just the exchange of sex for dosh. Nothing special. If they become true friends/companions, then that's just a bonus on top and probably what people think of as "love".

[HardenedSoul]

There is no such thing as "love". Basically, a "relationship" is just the exchange of sex for dosh. Nothing special.

That's <deleted>.

If that attitude is what a man puts out in the universe then that's what he'll get back.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

There is no such thing as "love". Basically, a "relationship" is just the exchange of sex for dosh. Nothing special.

That's <deleted>.

If that attitude is what a man puts out in the universe then that's what he'll get back.

Well put.

I think perhaps what the meatball meant (?) is that real love has very little to do with sex and "romance".

Which I never tire of going on about.

Except now. (I can hear the sighs of relief 8-)

[SteeleJoe]

There is no such thing as "love". Basically, a "relationship" is just the exchange of sex for dosh. Nothing special.

That's <deleted>.

If that attitude is what a man puts out in the universe then that's what he'll get back.

Well put.

I think perhaps what the meatball meant (?) is that real love has very little to do with sex and "romance".

Which I never tire of going on about.

Except now. (I can hear the sighs of relief 8-)

I started typing about sex and romance sometimes being the beginning of something that leads to "real love" -- and literally bored myself too much to continue, before I even finished the first sappy sentence.

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[thenervoussurgeon]

The OP seems to overlook that BG's are people who have their non bar counterparts.

Plenty i am sure ,but we are not discussing them ,only BG s and their male lovers.

ps. to be PC i suppose we should add gentelmen who fall for ladyboys and other men

Because coming to Thailand makes you bisexual! Have you not read the thread?

Now come on ,if your going to quote ,do it properly ,the thread was "can coming to Thailand make you bisexual" and it was about a friend who came here on holiday and went wild over ladyboys

[Payboy]

The OP seems to overlook that BG's are people who have their non bar counterparts.

Plenty i am sure ,but we are not discussing them ,only BG s and their male lovers.

ps. to be PC i suppose we should add gentelmen who fall for ladyboys and other men

Because coming to Thailand makes you bisexual! Have you not read the thread?

Now come on ,if your going to quote ,do it properly ,the thread was "can coming to Thailand make you bisexual" and it was about a friend who came here on holiday and went wild over ladyboys

Its made me buy sexual services again and again.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Something in the water. . .

Oh that's right it's bottled.

Something in the beer?

[SteeleJoe]

Now come on ,if your going to quote ,do it properly ,the thread was "can coming to Thailand make you bisexual" and it was about a friend who came here on holiday and went wild over ladyboys

Its made me buy sexual services again and again.

Heh.

Makes you bisexual -- made me buy sexual...clever.

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[spidermike007]

I believe it is somewhere between a martyr complex, and a somewhat desperate level of loneliness. It is ALOT easier to find a girl in a bar, than on your own. Many men just do not have a way with women, and these are the only women they have the nerve to get next to. So, when they have that companionship, they mistake the potential. Not saying it is not possible to find a bargirl, and live happily ever after, but your odds might be better playing baccarat at the Mirage Casino. The entire deck is stacked against you, and very, very few men know how to play the game, nor are they sufficiently masculated (the opposite of emmasculated, which is the state most fareng men arrive here in the LOS in) to behave properly, and calculate the details in their favor. So, most end up losing big, on the deal, in exchange for a trusted companion that they were made to believe they had. Thai women are very clever. Maybe not hugely intelligent, for the most part, but very clever, at getting you to believe you are special, and "the one". The advice I would give any guy in this situation would be the following:

1. Really take you time getting to know her. The Thai woman almost always wants to speed up the timetable. If she is real, and true, she will be willing to devote a year or two, getting to know each other.

2. Do not give her family any money for at least 6 months. This is a true test. You can help out your girl, as this is more of less expected, but no money for the family, for quite some time.

3. No cars, major gifts, or prizes, for many months. See if she sticks around.

4. Do not let her move in with you, for several months. This gives you time to get to know each other.

5. Do not even consider marrying her, for at least one or two years.

6. Do not even consider taking her to your country for at least one year. You have no idea who she is, for the first year!

7. Read ALL the books written by ex-pats, on the pitfalls of falling in love with a Thai woman.

very few of these rules apply, if you are smart enough to seek out a middle class woman, with a college degree, who speaks great english, and has an established family. Many of these women can be found online. Interview them, and determine their status, before you even waste your time, or hook up. Otherwise, you need to plan to spend a minimum or one or two million baht on a house, retiring the family debt, supporting mom and dad, and the deadbeat brother, which a high percentage of Thai families have.

Most guys will not listed to this advice. Most will not hear it, nor want to hear it. But, buyer beware.

[MyFriend You]

A mate in the UK was taken for a ride by his English wife. Waited until he took redundancy and got a company pension. Then filed for divorce, she'd been screwing around with another bloke. So maybe the title should be. Why do men expect women to love them, when they are all in it for the money?

This is exactly why I have been in a relationship with a lady for the past 15 years, but we are not married - it has become a cash cow for too many women.......no matter where they come from...................I have been single for 35 years - and will remain that way - my ex-wife even tried to claim half of my Military annuity because we were married 7 years...............luckily the law requires them to be married ten years when the divorce was final - she immediately tried to withdraw the petition to wait it out - the Judge told her - "not No, but Hell No" luckjy for me he saw thru her intent...............Screw me once, shame on you, Screw me twice, shame on me!!!