Going To Esaan To Meet The Family

[macksview]

all you people saying you need to offer cash and gifts are assuming gilfriend is a bargirl........................hahaha.

Shame on all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love the isaan,love my inlaws.

cynical posters here,poor OP, posts,and of course, he is put on the gullible, "met her in phuket/samui/nana or even patts",put her on the manipulative,schemeing whore.

she may be a battling factory girl or have an excellent job, or is ideal gf material.

as i said i love the isaan and my inlaws, good luck, but dont forget to take your wallet,deet,mosquito net (probably get that a tesco along with 14 cartons of leo and lao),remember your wallet and kwai is not an insult if a group of village children yell it to you.

[bina]

where comfortable clothes that allow u to expand, eat, sit on the floor, and use , most likely, an issaan toilet... tight jeans or laced up shoes and ties are not expected.

bring small bills, come with a few bottles of something to drink (alcohol); bring some stuff (candy, other 'stuff' )for gf's younger cousins, siblings etc. ; bring a small notebook to try to keep track of who is whom (who is a real brother/sister as apposed to generic pi/nong,who is who's real uncle as opposed to just an honorific uncle)... bateries for camera (we always take lots of posed silly fotos, most get trashed but folks love to pose); dont grab and kiss your girlfriend too much around her parents, bring some food that u can/will eat if u dont like thai/issaan styles, or eating from others' plates... but remember, whatever u bring for u, u will share, in general, come with a good mood, willingness to laugh even at yourself, oh, and also, men tend tohang out with the men, women, with the women, after a certain amount of time eating... u dont have to drink every glass (of whiskey)that gets given to u, u can pass to someone else (like father or uncle, not someone younger then u...)

u all have nothing on being the first farang woman to show up in a village...

if u are tired, everyone will be offerring u a place to lay down and rest from a hammock to someone's bed, or platform and a pillow... feel free, everyone does that

and one last lesson hubby learned (he's the thai), dont leave your smartphone/ipad or whatever laying around for little hands to play with, we got a whopping humongous cell phone bill because of that.

enjoy.

bina

[farang000999]

all you people saying you need to offer cash and gifts are assuming gilfriend is a bargirl........................hahaha.

Shame on all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet OP is the same age as his gf and they met at University, cause every time I am up there that is the exact profile I see. Really, it is quite likely that she is Thai Chinese, white skinned and her family is high ranking government officials who also own several large factories (that employ all the brown people). OP will probably help run them, he is over qualified with his degree in nuclear physics.

To the OP,congratulations,you are about to see the REAL Thailand!

Not the diluted,tourist traps like Bangkok,Phuket and the other overdeveloped,overpriced and mafia run island monstrosities!I don't include Chaing Mai and Chaing Rai as I believe them to be authentic Thailand also and near to some spectacularly beautiful places like Phitsanulok and Loie.

I've been to many places in Isaan and have never found the locals there to be anything but the nicest,friendliest,warmest and most genuine people I have ever met anywhere on this planet and I've travelled extensively.

Whenever I'm in Isaan I walk around with a masssive grin on my face because I love it and the locals seem to appreciate that and take me to their hearts!

It's hot,dirt poor with nothing but rice and dust but I guarantee you that you will not forget the experience,they seem genuinely happy to see you there,even in the big cities like Khon Kaen,you'll have a fantastic time there.

Just make sure you come back on here to let us know how it went!

This is why you should go to Isaan when you are single and not being led around by the hand like a child.

Edited November 15, 2012 by farang000999

[SteeleJoe]

I just finished typing out a fairly long and reasonably coherent post on this and then moved my mouse the wrong way and wound up on a sponsor's site with the post gone…so now to do a quicker and more slapdash effort before bed:

Some of you are, to my mind, remarkably bitter and contemptuous about this whole thing. In my 30 years experiencing this country, I've made the Isarn trip with a few different Thai GFs. I've never experienced the worst of what was described above and indeed found the experience far more pleasant than not.

I've made the trip without sufficient funds to be even a little bit generous and was treated with warmth and generosity. On occasions when I had more money, I never offered myself up to be exploited, was not visibly expected to, and received no ill treatment as a result of that (rather was again, treated well).

I hesitate to say this, and even apologize for doing so, but I can't help but feel that the more extreme sorts of things some of you had happen is very possibly an indication of something about your behavior or choices and/or the woman whom you accompanied. I personally would never allow myself to be disrespected in such ways nor would I spend any time with a woman who allowed me to be or was actively complicit in it.

Were there ever any instances of behavior by relatives, neighbors or hangers on that I found unpleasant or even intolerable? Absolutely (mostly; though not exclusively, confined to inordinate and downright rude scrutiny and objectification). But my displeasure was quickly picked up on by the woman I was with or I spoke of it to her in a diplomatic and discrete way and it was dealt with.

I always had a good time. It never cost me a lot (and no more than I was willing and able to spend – which, trust me, aint all that much).

Guess u didn't spend enough during those issan trips.

Maybe that's y u had to go there with different gfs.

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I didn't spend enough money to do what? Purchase a girl? Earn the false approval of her family? I always had a good time, was treated well, and invited back (some of which invitations I accepted - even without the GF) -- how is that an undesirable result?

I actually wound up marrying ( a couple years later) the first girl I went with. After she passed away I had other girlfriends who I went on trips with for fun. The last of those girlfriends I married after 7 years and have been with for over 20 years.

I did't "have to" go on any.

<<< Flame removed >>>

Edited November 16, 2012 by metisdead

[Crazy canadian]

Thank you all very helpful

[sirchai]

I'm going to esaan (surin) to meet my Thai girl and have to meet the family big dinner plans already. So what kinda things do I need to know I'm a bit worried, any help would be appreciated.

When you're going to her family, it's almost like you'd already said that you'd marry her, right? I't's actually not too bad to see her relatives, maybe her son/daughter.(s).I guess you've met her at a wonderful place like Pattaya. Phuket//

It's pretty much common that the person with the most money will pay for all drinks, food etc..

Don't get drunk with the local Lao Khao, they'll try to test you, if you can drink that shit. Buy her father a buffalo, brothers and sisters a scooter, promise you'll build a new house for all of them and give all family members a never ending visa or master card. And don't forget to smile.....---

Edited November 16, 2012 by sirchai

[SteeleJoe]

where comfortable clothes that allow u to expand, eat, sit on the floor, and use , most likely, an issaan toilet... tight jeans or laced up shoes and ties are not expected.

bring small bills, come with a few bottles of something to drink (alcohol); bring some stuff (candy, other 'stuff' )for gf's younger cousins, siblings etc. ; bring a small notebook to try to keep track of who is whom (who is a real brother/sister as apposed to generic pi/nong,who is who's real uncle as opposed to just an honorific uncle)... bateries for camera (we always take lots of posed silly fotos, most get trashed but folks love to pose); dont grab and kiss your girlfriend too much around her parents, bring some food that u can/will eat if u dont like thai/issaan styles, or eating from others' plates... but remember, whatever u bring for u, u will share, in general, come with a good mood, willingness to laugh even at yourself, oh, and also, men tend tohang out with the men, women, with the women, after a certain amount of time eating... u dont have to drink every glass (of whiskey)that gets given to u, u can pass to someone else (like father or uncle, not someone younger then u...)

u all have nothing on being the first farang woman to show up in a village...

if u are tired, everyone will be offerring u a place to lay down and rest from a hammock to someone's bed, or platform and a pillow... feel free, everyone does that

and one last lesson hubby learned (he's the thai), dont leave your smartphone/ipad or whatever laying around for little hands to play with, we got a whopping humongous cell phone bill because of that.

enjoy.

bina

Excellent advice. All of it.

(I can imagine being a Farang woman would take some aspects of the experience to awhile other level!)

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[Metapod]

Money, whisky and cigarettes.. and lots of money.. oh dont forget the money.. and yeah bring some cash dude!

Maybe if your "girlfriend" is a hooker and from a low moral family.

Last time I had a girlfriend from Issan and visited the family they refused to let me pay for anything. Really amazing hospitality and a great family. Dad is in the army and the mother is a french teacher.

I wouldn't respect anyone that tries to fleece a guest.

[klikster]

When I first actually met my wife for the first time we had been communicating by email for 4-5 months. I drove to her city and checked into a hotel. A few days later she suggested I move to her room in brother's very nice home. Stayed for days, spent no money on anyone except my lady friend. Actually, I did sponsor a basket of flowers and modest gift of food (from the wife) for MIL at Christmas.

After we decided to marry, I moved back to the city and stayed in brother's house for several weeks while looking for a rental. I don't actually remember spending any money on them -- actually felt a bit guilty.

But I did recently lend the BIL my Honda weed whacker -- but he has to buy his own gasoline.

Been living together for 4 years (married for 3). No sinsot. No wedding ceremony. No party.

Please don't attempt to stigmatize all Issan women because of the unfortunate attitudes of a few.

[nev]

Don't stay at the family home, stay at a resort close by, you can get these for around 350 baht usually for short time but good enough to get you as far away from the family and have some quality time with your girlfriend.

When you are bored just say need to go room for aircon lorn mak mak.

Stock up at a with supplies on the way leave in your room so when back just shut up shop until the morning, this way you not have to put up with the all night party that will more than likely happen, unless you want to get drunk and stay up all night.

[Honkie]

Oh Pleeezzz , what advice do you expect to get ? Without giving out some background like how and where did you meet your girlfriend , age difference , how long have you been staying in Thailand , etc.

Or are you one of those mail order Groom from Canada ?

Don't mean to be harsh and deep in your heart , you yourself know...

[SteeleJoe]

When I first actually met my wife for the first time we had been communicating by email for 4-5 months. I drove to her city and checked into a hotel. A few days later she suggested I move to her room in brother's very nice home. Stayed for days, spent no money on anyone except my lady friend. Actually, I did sponsor a basket of flowers and modest gift of food (from the wife) for MIL at Christmas.

After we decided to marry, I moved back to the city and stayed in brother's house for several weeks while looking for a rental. I don't actually remember spending any money on them -- actually felt a bit guilty.

But I did recently lend the BIL my Honda weed whacker -- but he has to buy his own gasoline.

Been living together for 4 years (married for 3). No sinsot. No wedding ceremony. No party.

Please don't attempt to stigmatize all Issan women because of the unfortunate attitudes of a few.

Oh, sure. Her "brother"...

Sorry, couldn't resist. Just kidding.

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[macksview]

When I first actually met my wife for the first time we had been communicating by email for 4-5 months. I drove to her city and checked into a hotel. A few days later she suggested I move to her room in brother's very nice home. Stayed for days, spent no money on anyone except my lady friend. Actually, I did sponsor a basket of flowers and modest gift of food (from the wife) for MIL at Christmas.

After we decided to marry, I moved back to the city and stayed in brother's house for several weeks while looking for a rental. I don't actually remember spending any money on them -- actually felt a bit guilty.

But I did recently lend the BIL my Honda weed whacker -- but he has to buy his own gasoline.

Been living together for 4 years (married for 3). No sinsot. No wedding ceremony. No party.

Please don't attempt to stigmatize all Issan women because of the unfortunate attitudes of a few.

Oh, sure. Her "brother"...

Sorry, couldn't resist. Just kidding.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

is there an emoticon for a "sniper", even a poor innocent such as myself didnot think about that.

i suppose the brother's wife is really his sister.

[macksview]

Money, whisky and cigarettes.. and lots of money.. oh dont forget the money.. and yeah bring some cash dude!

Maybe if your "girlfriend" is a hooker and from a low moral family.

Last time I had a girlfriend from Issan and visited the family they refused to let me pay for anything. Really amazing hospitality and a great family. Dad is in the army and the mother is a french teacher.

I wouldn't respect anyone that tries to fleece a guest.

good honest lady,fantastic in-laws,love them so much,but i cant help it either throwing out the "beware of ......" stereotypes.

[SteeleJoe]

When I first actually met my wife for the first time we had been communicating by email for 4-5 months. I drove to her city and checked into a hotel. A few days later she suggested I move to her room in brother's very nice home. Stayed for days, spent no money on anyone except my lady friend. Actually, I did sponsor a basket of flowers and modest gift of food (from the wife) for MIL at Christmas.

After we decided to marry, I moved back to the city and stayed in brother's house for several weeks while looking for a rental. I don't actually remember spending any money on them -- actually felt a bit guilty.

But I did recently lend the BIL my Honda weed whacker -- but he has to buy his own gasoline.

Been living together for 4 years (married for 3). No sinsot. No wedding ceremony. No party.

Please don't attempt to stigmatize all Issan women because of the unfortunate attitudes of a few.

Oh, sure. Her "brother"...

Sorry, couldn't resist. Just kidding.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

is there an emoticon for a "sniper", even a poor innocent such as myself didnot think about that.

i suppose the brother's wife is really his sister.

Didn't say the brother had a wife. Just a suspiciously nice home...

Again, I jest!

I totally believe his post and enjoyed it.

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[macksview]

i know you did, ironjohn, it was just funny, not a nasty "snipe" just funny.

[Crazy canadian]

Great info very appreciated

[puchooay]

Go there. See how it goes. Bo&^5cks to all the neysayers. Hope you have a good time.

[Crazy canadian]

Ok we meet at a bar ofcourse in Pattaya go figer we then moved to chiang Mai live togeather for 4 months. I bought her a motor bike sent her back to her village where she has been every since I'm 29 from Canada and she 20 she's been working the farm with her family iv been coming to Thailand for 5 years now and stay for months at a time so I do know a bit of the Thai culture and well she never ask me for anything or money for family, not a shark like some.

[Semper]

I just finished typing out a fairly long and reasonably coherent post on this and then moved my mouse the wrong way and wound up on a sponsor's site with the post gone…so now to do a quicker and more slapdash effort before bed:

Some of you are, to my mind, remarkably bitter and contemptuous about this whole thing. In my 30 years experiencing this country, I’ve made the Isarn trip with a few different Thai GFs. I’ve never experienced the worst of what was described above and indeed found the experience far more pleasant than not.

I’ve made the trip without sufficient funds to be even a little bit generous and was treated with warmth and generosity. On occasions when I had more money, I never offered myself up to be exploited, was not visibly expected to, and received no ill treatment as a result of that (rather was again, treated well).

I hesitate to say this, and even apologize for doing so, but I can’t help but feel that the more extreme sorts of things some of you had happen is very possibly an indication of something about your behavior or choices and/or the woman whom you accompanied. I personally would never allow myself to be disrespected in such ways nor would I spend any time with a woman who allowed me to be or was actively complicit in it.

Were there ever any instances of behavior by relatives, neighbors or hangers on that I found unpleasant or even intolerable? Absolutely (mostly; though not exclusively, confined to inordinate and downright rude scrutiny and objectification). But my displeasure was quickly picked up on by the woman I was with or I spoke of it to her in a diplomatic and discrete way and it was dealt with.

I always had a good time. It never cost me a lot (and no more than I was willing and able to spend – which, trust me, aint all that much).

Thank God you lost the long version.

[SteeleJoe]

I just finished typing out a fairly long and reasonably coherent post on this and then moved my mouse the wrong way and wound up on a sponsor's site with the post gone…so now to do a quicker and more slapdash effort before bed:

Some of you are, to my mind, remarkably bitter and contemptuous about this whole thing. In my 30 years experiencing this country, I’ve made the Isarn trip with a few different Thai GFs. I’ve never experienced the worst of what was described above and indeed found the experience far more pleasant than not.

I’ve made the trip without sufficient funds to be even a little bit generous and was treated with warmth and generosity. On occasions when I had more money, I never offered myself up to be exploited, was not visibly expected to, and received no ill treatment as a result of that (rather was again, treated well).

I hesitate to say this, and even apologize for doing so, but I can’t help but feel that the more extreme sorts of things some of you had happen is very possibly an indication of something about your behavior or choices and/or the woman whom you accompanied. I personally would never allow myself to be disrespected in such ways nor would I spend any time with a woman who allowed me to be or was actively complicit in it.

Were there ever any instances of behavior by relatives, neighbors or hangers on that I found unpleasant or even intolerable? Absolutely (mostly; though not exclusively, confined to inordinate and downright rude scrutiny and objectification). But my displeasure was quickly picked up on by the woman I was with or I spoke of it to her in a diplomatic and discrete way and it was dealt with.

I always had a good time. It never cost me a lot (and no more than I was willing and able to spend – which, trust me, aint all that much).

Thank God you lost the long version.

No kidding!

(Actually, I think my short redo wound up being longer than the first one -- and obviously no less boring)

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[SteeleJoe]

Ok we meet at a bar ofcourse in Pattaya go figer we then moved to chiang Mai live togeather for 4 months. I bought her a motor bike sent her back to her village where she has been every since...she's been working the farm with her family...

Ahem.

Well...it's not impossible.

EDIT:

Brace your self for some negative and even gratuitously ugly comments. They may get excessive but they would not be entirely without reason. Because on the face of that brief post (which of course is far too basic and superficial for people to truly judge anything about you or your girl) you sound like a thousand other delusional types. However...

Been living in Thailand for the majority of the last 31 years. Used to run some bars and have seen and heard it all -- so yes, I'm cynical. But I know for a fact that once in a while, such relationships do work out, and that there are some very fine people who happen to be bar girls (though being the latter by no means ensures the former -- even with the best of intentions and character, the odds are stacked against a BG/Farang relationship).

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Edited November 16, 2012 by SteeleJoe

[Songhua]

where comfortable clothes that allow u to expand, eat, sit on the floor, and use , most likely, an issaan toilet... tight jeans or laced up shoes and ties are not expected.

bring small bills, come with a few bottles of something to drink (alcohol); bring some stuff (candy, other 'stuff' )for gf's younger cousins, siblings etc. ; bring a small notebook to try to keep track of who is whom (who is a real brother/sister as apposed to generic pi/nong,who is who's real uncle as opposed to just an honorific uncle)... bateries for camera (we always take lots of posed silly fotos, most get trashed but folks love to pose); dont grab and kiss your girlfriend too much around her parents, bring some food that u can/will eat if u dont like thai/issaan styles, or eating from others' plates... but remember, whatever u bring for u, u will share, in general, come with a good mood, willingness to laugh even at yourself, oh, and also, men tend tohang out with the men, women, with the women, after a certain amount of time eating... u dont have to drink every glass (of whiskey)that gets given to u, u can pass to someone else (like father or uncle, not someone younger then u...)

u all have nothing on being the first farang woman to show up in a village...

if u are tired, everyone will be offerring u a place to lay down and rest from a hammock to someone's bed, or platform and a pillow... feel free, everyone does that

and one last lesson hubby learned (he's the thai), dont leave your smartphone/ipad or whatever laying around for little hands to play with, we got a whopping humongous cell phone bill because of that.

enjoy.

bina

A couple of good points there.

Do not be hugging, kissing, fondling the GF in front of the family.

Be prepared to hear a lot of talk and even joking about YOU. Just go along with it, laugh along with them.

Take a case of beer ..... do not go buy another one when it's finished. It's already more than they would have had, had you not been there and it will make a subtle statement (albeit a small one) about limitations.

You and the GF shoot off to the market early in the morning and buy some food for the day - but only enough to feed the immediate family, not the whole neighbourhood. Again, diplomatic statement.

Enjoy. They're great people. Just remember though ... if you went to a party in your own home town, some of the people there would like you but some may not, you would like some of the people but would soon learn which ones to steer clear of. Nowhere's any different (even Isaan).

Edited November 16, 2012 by Songhua

[farangme]

Good god man. What are you thinking? Don't do it! Run, Forest, run! Just sign over your bank accounts, declare bankruptcy, and start rebuilding your assets so you can get back to the bar. It's more predictable.

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[SteeleJoe]

where comfortable clothes that allow u to expand, eat, sit on the floor, and use , most likely, an issaan toilet... tight jeans or laced up shoes and ties are not expected.

bring small bills, come with a few bottles of something to drink (alcohol); bring some stuff (candy, other 'stuff' )for gf's younger cousins, siblings etc. ; bring a small notebook to try to keep track of who is whom (who is a real brother/sister as apposed to generic pi/nong,who is who's real uncle as opposed to just an honorific uncle)... bateries for camera (we always take lots of posed silly fotos, most get trashed but folks love to pose); dont grab and kiss your girlfriend too much around her parents, bring some food that u can/will eat if u dont like thai/issaan styles, or eating from others' plates... but remember, whatever u bring for u, u will share, in general, come with a good mood, willingness to laugh even at yourself, oh, and also, men tend tohang out with the men, women, with the women, after a certain amount of time eating... u dont have to drink every glass (of whiskey)that gets given to u, u can pass to someone else (like father or uncle, not someone younger then u...)

u all have nothing on being the first farang woman to show up in a village...

if u are tired, everyone will be offerring u a place to lay down and rest from a hammock to someone's bed, or platform and a pillow... feel free, everyone does that

and one last lesson hubby learned (he's the thai), dont leave your smartphone/ipad or whatever laying around for little hands to play with, we got a whopping humongous cell phone bill because of that.

enjoy.

bina

A couple of good points there.

Do not be hugging, kissing, fondling the GF in front of the family.

Be prepared to hear a lot of talk and even joking about YOU. Just go along with it, laugh along with them.

Take a case of beer ..... do not go buy another one when it's finished. It's already more than they would have had, had you not been there and it will make a subtle statement (albeit a small one) about limitations.

You and the GF shoot off to the market early in the morning and buy some food for the day - but only enough to feed the immediate family, not the whole neighbourhood. Again, diplomatic statement.

Enjoy. They're great people. Just remember though ... if you went to a party in your own home town, some of the people there would like you but some may not, you would like some of the people but would soon learn which ones to steer clear of. Nowhere's any different (even Isaan).

Nailed it. Every word, spot on.

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Edited November 16, 2012 by SteeleJoe

[farangme]

Get drunk. Stay drunk. Your gal will be pissed off, but you won't spend time trying to make sense of things, and all the men will think you're great.

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[krisb]

Money, whisky and cigarettes.. and lots of money.. oh dont forget the money.. and yeah bring some cash dude!

Dont listen to that comment.....I read the topic title and thought how long til the bashers start. It was the 3rd comment down

.

Makes me wonder why people who say these things bother with Thailand, and bother with Thai Visa.

Id say enjoy seeing the real Thailand, perhaps be prepared for a little shock of seeing how your lady grew up if its the real village style.

If you think you cant stay at her family house, then its ok to say so and go to a hotel. We are westerners and we need western comforts ie air con. Its not rude to do so, personally I love staying in the village, it rocks!

Perhaps put on a nice bbq for them all, perhaps offer to help around the house like fixit type things if you get bored.

Your not expected to hand out cash or buy extravagent gifts, but its nice to get something nice, especially if your serious about their daughter.

And DONT listen to these bashers, its not all about your wallet....just because they had problems, doesnt mean you have.

[metisdead]

Posts containing profanities, flames and inappropriate language have been removed as well the replies. Keep it civil folks!

[farangme]

Money, whisky and cigarettes.. and lots of money.. oh dont forget the money.. and yeah bring some cash dude!

Dont listen to that comment.....I read the topic title and thought how long til the bashers start. It was the 3rd comment down

.

Makes me wonder why people who say these things bother with Thailand, and bother with Thai Visa.

Id say enjoy seeing the real Thailand, perhaps be prepared for a little shock of seeing how your lady grew up if its the real village style.

If you think you cant stay at her family house, then its ok to say so and go to a hotel. We are westerners and we need western comforts ie air con. Its not rude to do so, personally I love staying in the village, it rocks!

Perhaps put on a nice bbq for them all, perhaps offer to help around the house like fixit type things if you get bored.

Your not expected to hand out cash or buy extravagent gifts, but its nice to get something nice, especially if your serious about their daughter.

And DONT listen to these bashers, its not all about your wallet....just because they had problems, doesnt mean you have.

Live and learn, baby, live and learn. Life's a journey, just keep your perspective.

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[Pormax]

Just be yourself, keep smiling and don't feel you have to eat everything offered to you, "gin mai bpen"'s perfectly OK. If you're not flexible enough to sit on the floor with everyone, then ask for a chair but sit off to the side so you're not towering over everyone. Observe the way they duck when passing, don't have to go overboard but make a bit of an effort, try to not point your feet toward people, don't pat anyone on the head etc like I'm sure you already know.

I'd advise booking a room at a place with aircon to retreat to when you feel like it, don't worry about offending too much as long as you've spent a couple hours hanging out with the tribe they'll understand.

Or as another poster said, bring some reading material, they'll be happy to run a fan out to the shaded wooden platform, ask for a couple of pillows and bob's your uncle, just sit up and wai as the various elders are brought from around the village to be introduced to you.

It is customary to pass out a few small bills to the younger members of the household when you leave, maybe a couple of thousand to help cover food costs to mum if they're poor, but ignore all the tossers about throwing big money around funding a lot of drinking etc that's only "necessary" at the more formal ceremonies. Personally I just say drinking is against my religion and I didn't allow it at any of mine, paid for lots of soft drinks and an extra pig instead.

They will assume you're courting and in fact if you're not intending that you might want to clarify things for your teerak as she's making a major step wrt her home community and will want to minimize the number of such visitors that show up or they might think the wrong thing about her. If she is a BG get your stories straight about how you met, very unlikely the truth will be openly discussed even if some of her relatives know the truth I bet Dad won't.

If the time comes up to actually negotiate a sin sot, it is customary to bring along an "elder" representative to do that for you so you don't offend yourself playing hardball. Obviously that person should speak Thai if not their first language.

Yet another sensible, honest answer to a post from BigJohnnyBKK. I agree with all he says.

From my experierience, and I live in a village in Issan and love it, the locals are so much friendlier than in the tourist places. There is really no comparison. Get the GF to advise you about local customs as posted above. Take a book or laptop to watch a DVD because unless you speak Thai you will be bored after 20 minutes. be polite, smile a lot and you will get on fine. Ignore all the posts about they only want you there to get at your money. Never been to 'real' Thailand before? Then believe me it will be a real eye opener but it will also a fascinating and great experience.

Be sure as said in another post that you get your GF to introduce you to everyone by your first name and instruct her to ask they call you by this and not farang. It will not stop all of them by talking about you as farang as it is there way but in time it will help. If they are like me and have difficulty in remembering people's name then that is understandable.

Don't go there with an open wallet and splash a lot of money around. You might think they appreciate it but more than likely after you have gone, will think, 'stupid farang' if you do.

Go with an open mind, have a good time and let us know how things went.