Things To Consider Before Taking Your Thai Girl Back Home....

[krisb]

I have had a hard time in the last few days,

My wifes here, and heavily pregnant along with all the emotions that go with it.

Yes I know girls get very emotional when pregnant....thats expected.

It wasnt until this point in time I realized that there is much more to leaving your home country for extended amounts of time, all your family that are there for support when its needed, not to mention your friends that are close, your surroundings that are most comforting and the list goes on and on and its not a joke.

So when your considering how your heart feels about the lovely lady you would like to take to your country, there is so much more to consider than that moment in time when you say to yourself 'Id really love her to live with me'......its much bigger, and its not that easy to see at the time.

Hinds sight is 20 20 vision.

Tell us about what you realize now that you didnt realize before she left Thailand to live with you?

What would have helped?, made it easier?,

etc etc.

[transam]

Don't care what Anybody says here, but Thai ladies do not like farang land.. They are there to not worry about financial stuff. They don't like the weather, the early darkness or the food. When the honey moon period is over then . You may be lucky but l know a few farang that are paying a price.

[endure]

3) Not to post in a manner that is vulgar, obscene or profane

Thank you.

[mogandave]

My wife likes the US okay when we visit.

[Sharp]

Given the choice 99% of Thai girls would stay and live here and only go Abroad for hols to please or appease the other half .

IMHO.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

[krisb]

Don't care what Anybody says here, but Thai ladies do not like farang land.. They are there to not worry about financial stuff. They don't like the weather, the early darkness or the food. When the honey moon period is over then . You may be lucky but l know a few farang that are paying a price.

Id have to agree some what. Here in Australia she has the weather and as much Asian food as she wants.

Honey moon is long over.

Ive learned theres so much more that pops up that I would have never considered before hand.

She finds here in Aus, its boring...then so do I.

I have more fun in her village than I do in around a whole city in Aus...so much food for thought Transam.

Yes of all the Thai girls that I know living here, they would rather live back in Thailand.

This then raises the question...would I move?....hmmm

Edited November 20, 2012 by krisb

[krisb]

My wife likes the US okay when we visit.

Visit being the key word.

[cdnvic]

From what I've seen the happier women are the ones who have a Thai community to be part of. So consider the amount of other Thais that she can meet and socialize with.

[Songhua]

Sorry guys, but I think I may be the odd one out here. My wife has loved Australia since the first minute we arrived back here almost twenty years ago. She has made many, many long-term friends and acquaintances, has loved the jobs she's had and thoroughly enjoyed her life here. Although the area we live in has quite a sizeable Thai community, she's never really been into all that and would only call a couple of them anything even resembling a friend.

I remember once a few years back when I asked her whether she felt out of place serving hotdogs at the canteen at our son's Saturday morning rugby league games - and she said 'I 'I'm an Australian, I didn't come here to sit around gossiping with Thais'

It's taken five years or so for me to convince her about retiring in Thailand. She says she'll find it strange and difficult to adapt to. But will I?

[krisb]

From what I've seen the happier women are the ones who have a Thai community to be part of. So consider the amount of other Thais that she can meet and socialize with.

They definately need that.

As much as they perhaps dont think they do, they do.

At the same time its not like they are all over the place here but she does know a couple of em

[krisb]

Sorry guys, but I think I may be the odd one out here. My wife has loved Australia since the first minute we arrived back here almost twenty years ago. She has made many, many long-term friends and acquaintances, has loved the jobs she's had and thoroughly enjoyed her life here. Although the area we live in has quite a sizeable Thai community, she's never really been into all that and would only call a couple of them anything even resembling a friend.

I remember once a few years back when I asked her whether she felt out of place serving hotdogs at the canteen at our son's Saturday morning rugby league games - and she said 'I 'I'm an Australian, I didn't come here to sit around gossiping with Thais'

It's taken five years or so for me to convince her about retiring in Thailand. She says she'll find it strange and difficult to adapt to. But will I?

I hear ya there.

Its kinda my point when you mention if you can adapt if you retire in Thailand. Its never just that easy a life changing event.

[MAJIC]

Don't care what Anybody says here, but Thai ladies do not like farang land.. They are there to not worry about financial stuff. They don't like the weather, the early darkness or the food. When the honey moon period is over then . You may be lucky but l know a few farang that are paying a price.

Yes you are correct in many ways, but strangely the vast majority stay in the UK and have no desire or plans to return to Thailand.that's why the UK has a permanent resident Thai Population of 30,000.

After the first couple of years they adjust to the different culture,find out where they can get any Thai food they want,and realise Summers don't last the whole year.Thai friends are plentiful,and easy to find (in fact too many, but that's another story)

Having said the above,bringing your Wife or GF back to the UK should be very carefully considered,before jumping in headfirst. Like you, I also know of plenty of Horror stories,and I would recommend a six month type visa,to see how it goes,before making a full commitment,that could see you losing everything,including your UK house,if it comes to a Divorce,its a 50/50 split in the UK,but legally biased towards the female,and you might end up paying her maintenance,on top.

So for those that have any doubts about how its going to work out, then don't take her home,stay in Thailand with her,where you have more control over the relationship.

[SteveLynch]

Took my wife back to Ireland for a holiday in September

She hated Ot ...I wasn't to impressed my self

Next time we will go for a week as opposed to 3

[norrona]

completely the opposite to the above...my missus works here in the UK for a company that employs many other Thai ladies and I am a bit embarassed by this but she has more friends than I do, theres always something going on round each others houses or summers BBQ's etc.

The weather....in Thailand they comment when it's hot and hide from the sun, the weather is always a big thing on this subject but I don't think it is for a lot of Thai people when they finally do settle here, if you are cold put a coat or jumper on and for women that opens up a whole new world of fashion...

Food, an abundance of asian supermarkets here and plenty of stuff in the aisles of the main stream super markets...it's a non issue really, the issue is the fact that someones got to cook it, but they are ingenious in making things cheaper i.e using swede instead of pappaya for their som tum...

Life really is what you make it, we go out to concerts, restaurants have weekends away and holidays away from Thailand....if I got her to the UK and just kept her at home like some fellas I know have done then next thing she is pregnant then no wonder some of them would prefer to be back in the village....

I met one girl who had never been to London for a look around and she'd been here 3 years and lives in the Essex area....she'd never gone to the shops on her own....basically you put a leash on them and it's not gonna work!

Just my opinion

[cdnvic]

I met one girl who had never been to London for a look around and she'd been here 3 years and lives in the Essex area....she'd never gone to the shops on her own....basically you put a leash on them and it's not gonna work!

Just my opinion

Not uncommon. These usually end up going bad once the girl gets some language skills, friends, and confidence. Her husband then blames it on her.

[dean999]

From what I've seen the happier women are the ones who have a Thai community to be part of. So consider the amount of other Thais that she can meet and socialize with.

My wife and i are in Belgium and she has met a few Thai girls to call friends. I finish working here next year and we are returning to the UK. All i am going to say is, we are only going to be friends with family and no outsiders in the uk. We have had nothing but trouble. The only good thing is, i'm only here for two and a half years and we can learn and move on. My eyes are wide open to the way Thai women can become in Falangland. Don't get me wrong, they may not all be the same. Me and the wife are not risking it. Once bitten, twice as shy. As they say.

There is more to this story but it's a thread about taking partners back. Not, what to watch out for when there here.

Good luck to anyone who takes their's home.

Forgot to add. This is not just my thoughts. My wife 100% agrees with me. I also ment to say, I ment Thai family in the UK.

Edited November 20, 2012 by dean999

[Sayonarax]

Some do some don't.

Maybe you should be talking to her about? If you want good advice, id seek out the female role model of your family. ie auntie or a sister.

Good luck.

[Semper]

My wife likes the US okay when we visit.

The keyword here is, when we visit.

[PeeKay]

Sorry guys, but I think I may be the odd one out here. My wife has loved Australia since the first minute we arrived back here almost twenty years ago. She has made many, many long-term friends and acquaintances, has loved the jobs she's had and thoroughly enjoyed her life here. Although the area we live in has quite a sizeable Thai community, she's never really been into all that and would only call a couple of them anything even resembling a friend.

I remember once a few years back when I asked her whether she felt out of place serving hotdogs at the canteen at our son's Saturday morning rugby league games - and she said 'I 'I'm an Australian, I didn't come here to sit around gossiping with Thais'

It's taken five years or so for me to convince her about retiring in Thailand. She says she'll find it strange and difficult to adapt to. But will I?

Holy Christ, I'm glad I saw your quote, coz I was definitely starting to think I'd married the 'weird one'. My little darling is exactly as you have described, she loves Australia, can't wait to come home when we go to LOS and has just one Thai friend who lives around 2500 Kms away.

She can't stand the BS gossip that goes on between the OzThai girls and she works like a blo0dy trojan.

There's not been one person that we've employed that can outwork her, irrespective of their age and my darling is now 37.

Not long after we got here, we started a Company in her name, and she's never looked back. Since then, with both of us working in her Company, I bought my own business outright and we're slowly and methodically going from strength to strength. She is viciously proud of her business and determined that nothing and I mean absolutely nothing will get in our way. I've not seen anything like it, nor am I complaining.

She has no time for time wasters but a huge heart for the needy and the worse off. She's a blo0dy dynamo and I'm blessed to have met her. I have never been into the luvee-duvee romantic BS and was pretty much broke when I met her and only in Thailand from the benevolence of a mate, due to personal circumstances and PTSD/mental illness from ex military endeavours. I told her straight out not to BS me and if she told me she loved me with 2 weeks, I'd walk.

I also told her to forget any money, coz I had none and as time progressed, I also told her to can any ideas of sinsod. It was at a time in my life that I comprehensively had had a gut full of anything remotely attached to BS and I made this clear. She reciprocated in kind and basically told me that if I was going to jerk her around then I could POQ (Peez-off-quick); as she'd had enough from her deceased Thai partner to last her several life times.

I've never ever looked back with this lady and love her more every day. We have gone from getting back to Oz and sleeping in my car, to having two businesses with between 7 to 9 employees. It hasn't been a walk in the park, but Christ it's been so much easier with her by my side and now that I've actually got a good Doc/Psych/Meds, my life is a trillion times better.

We just came back yesterday from LOS and she cudn't wait to get home. It's now 11:40pm and she's still out working with the staff. I'm the luckiest bostard that ever existed, honestly.

We often think about semi retirement in LOS, coz we both know we cudn't handle a full time gig doin it. This time we think we may have hatched a plan to get there in maybe 8 to 10 years. If so good/great, if not then we'll have tried and whilst I've got her by my side, I'm winning anyway.

Good luck to everyone else and good health as well....by the ton...!!

PK

[Thailand2012]

Don't care what Anybody says here, but Thai ladies do not like farang land.. They are there to not worry about financial stuff. They don't like the weather, the early darkness or the food. When the honey moon period is over then . You may be lucky but l know a few farang that are paying a price.

Id have to agree some what. Here in Australia she has the weather and as much Asian food as she wants.

Honey moon is long over.

Ive learned theres so much more that pops up that I would have never considered before hand.

She finds here in Aus, its boring...then so do I.

I have more fun in her village than I do in around a whole city in Aus...so much food for thought Transam.

Yes of all the Thai girls that I know living here, they would rather live back in Thailand.

This then raises the question...would I move?....hmmm

ok you must live in perth i do boooooring.

[antpet]

The original poster starts with a premise and then sets out to prove it. The respondents have a multiplicity of experiences that show a wide ranging difference. What I garner from the comments is that there isn't a one size fits all.

My wife and I have just returned from a 14 month period in the UK. It was our first stay there together and so for my wife everything was new. The summer wasn't a good one and the winter for my wife was clearly cold enough to be considered horrendous. Yet she never complained, knew in advance about the weather and wrapped up in order to cope with it. Indoors we cranked up the temp. and lived in shorts.

We found thai food in local supermarkets as well as specilist shops and importers and met other Thais. My wife did not relish their company as many were clearly ex-bar girls, had pretty awful husbands, which I didn't relish, and were generally heavily into drink and or gambling. It wasn't an attractive mix and my fear of her isolation was soon displaced by her self confidence and ability to interact with neighbours.

We are / were and always have been blissfully happy and self contained as a couple. We share activities and interests and built our business together. It is the strength of the relationship which sustains us whether we stay in Thailand or the UK. That I think is majorly important.

Now we are back in our Thai home, running another business, fully occupied and yet able to work as well as play. Life is balanced. That balance will mean a return to the UK for the summer [ hopefully a good one] and a six month period there before we intend to return once again. We are sampling a bi-annual residency and if that is not to our taste then we will adapt, adjust and amend our plans.

The relationship is not threatened by the migration and we both see the adventure in what we do. Equally, we are not petty enough or blinkered to the extent where not having jasmine rice [which we do have] would make it impossible to stay in the UK. Or, should I be so narrow minded, not being able to live without an Indian takeaway on the corner across from the pub, means that I can not stay in Thailand.

Such considerations are minor when the whole experience of travel, another country and culture are fully understood and embraced. That is the point.

I have embarrassingly tollerated acquaintences who have entertained me in their condo homes looking out on that filthy pattaya shore line, and boasted of having real bisto gravy to go with their meat and two veg Sunday roast dinner. I wonder why they ever came to Thailand and what did they expect to find? Blackpool with sun? Benidorm with rice? Because it is clear they never wished to leave their native shores nor engage with the culture, language or mores of the 'other' country in which they chose to move to.

My wife is as open to another culture as I am. That is the key to unlocking any problems that may arise.

[macksview]

the wife's attachment to her family was very strong,she never had left them before,a very caring family with few problems,no money concerns or dramas.

she lived a sheltered life,under a strong father and mother.

isolation for her was the biggest problem,i worked heaps and she became quite down.

she went to technical college and did her language classes,she met people from all over the world and started to gain confidence,she met some thais,mix of students and ex-whores and some older ladies who had been hooked up by family already here.

none seemed to be of similar age or background to her.

she far enjoyed the company of people from other countries,the technical college whilst wanting her to do her local accounting certificates,also gave her a chance to do work experience,she proved herself at this work placement and was taken on at the end of that period.

her self esteem was higher after she gained her job on her merits,she works with australians,chinese and a japanese, these are the people she socializes with,she rarely goes to thai events,she does not fit in with them.

i knew she would feel isolated and would miss her family very much, but as her condfidence grew the more she could control this, we make regular trips home and she is happy with it.

but, she is only counting the time till i retire,and thailand is the place she is happiest,overseas is only a stop on her path back home.

[Chittychangchang]

Interaction and friendships with other farang women is a must, keep away from the ex bg types with mouths like sewers!

Work, family and a caring relationship is the key along with time to adjust.

Some good positive posts above.

This thread will pale into insignificance when the baby comes along, so pander to her every need, bring her a bag of chillis and some fish sauce with a great big sea bass, cook it for her and everything will be fine.

All the best

Edited November 20, 2012 by Chittychangchang

[DentBalmer]

Don't care what Anybody says here, but Thai ladies do not like farang land.. They are there to not worry about financial stuff. They don't like the weather, the early darkness or the food. When the honey moon period is over then . You may be lucky but l know a few farang that are paying a price.

Uhmm my neighbour in Switz is married to a Thai lady and they live here. He wants to visit Thailand for a holiday but she would rather visit elsewhere in EU or the US.

Everyone is different.

[craigt3365]

Don't care what Anybody says here, but Thai ladies do not like farang land.. They are there to not worry about financial stuff. They don't like the weather, the early darkness or the food. When the honey moon period is over then . You may be lucky but l know a few farang that are paying a price.

Uhmm my neighbour in Switz is married to a Thai lady and they live here. He wants to visit Thailand for a holiday but she would rather visit elsewhere in EU or the US.

Everyone is different.

I think your last statement is right on. Everybody's different. My wife LOVED living in the US and didn't really want to move back here. We live here now, but she'd move back in a heartbeat. She even loved the snow! I hated it.

She didn't socialize much with Thais while in the US...not really sure why. She had a variety of friends. Quite a few Japanese. She didn't want to eat at Thai restaurants (she cooks better), didn't want to watch Thai TV (she learned English watching TV), etc.

My friend's wife was exactly the opposite. Hated farang food (only ate Thai food), hated the weather in NYC, and only socialized with other Thais. She lasted a bit over a year. Left him and came back to Thailand.

Everyone is different.

One thing that helped a bunch was getting my wife introduced to the local Asian grocery stores. For us, Chinatown was the best. She could get her noodles, etc, there.

[mania]

Yes of all the Thai girls that I know living here, they would rather live back in Thailand.

This then raises the question...would I move?....hmmm

I think many folks, especially the couples just getting married do not realize

how potentially hard a mixed culture/countries marriage can be.

Many are lucky myself included but as you say ...would you move?

At first for many it sounds great in both directions.

Meaning for the girl she will go & see things her friends can only dream of.

Maybe get a much higher paying job etc.

But there is no guarantee she will adapt, like it, or not wither from missing her

close knit family back in Thailand.

Then as you said would you move? It seems many foreigners do in fact do better

with relocation. Maybe family structure is more independent for foreigners?

So they adapt a little better. But many also grow tired of living without some things they

want in their life that is not available in Thailand. Maybe as simple as certain rights afforded them in their home country.

So, yes my point is I do not think most folks see the possible sacrifices

involved in a marriage of mixed countries/cultures initially.

Lucky are those that survive it. We have lived happily in both places.

For now we are here in Thailand but in 5-10 years who knows.

We may move back we never know 100% what the future brings

in both feelings & economic realities.

[TheWalkingMan]

Seems like the successful post are from gents with partners who did not sit around all day watching television or playing on the internet. If your girl has no interest in doing something like studying, working, starting a business or getting out of the house then it looks like trouble will happen very, very soon.

[farangme]

I have had a hard time in the last few days,

My wifes here, and heavily pregnant along with all the emotions that go with it.

Yes I know girls get very emotional when pregnant....thats expected.

It wasnt until this point in time I realized that there is much more to leaving your home country for extended amounts of time, all your family that are there for support when its needed, not to mention your friends that are close, your surroundings that are most comforting and the list goes on and on and its not a joke.

So when your considering how your heart feels about the lovely lady you would like to take to your country, there is so much more to consider than that moment in time when you say to yourself 'Id really love her to live with me'......its much bigger, and its not that easy to see at the time.

Hinds sight is 20 20 vision.

Tell us about what you realize now that you didnt realize before she left Thailand to live with you?

What would have helped?, made it easier?,

etc etc.

1. Leave her in Thailand. Thais love Thailand. No question about it.

2. What a draining project it would be.

3. Nothing would help.

4. Just visit her in TL on holidays.

Sent from my PC36100 using Thaivisa Connect App

[Humbugged]

First thing to consider is if she is usually allowed out in public back home.

My wife wants to return to the west, but not sure if that includes with me.

[transam]

We have a Thai lady friend who lives in Sweden, she says how wonderful it is .

I just cannot imagine a Thai lady not seeing day light for six months of the year, up to their neck in snow and freezing cold. It must be like a prison sentence.