Needs Help Now

[pauleddy]

My partner has been drinking for 30 years. Since we have been in LOS, he drinks about 1 bottle of wine per day.

He already has a fat liver, as 2-3 Ultrasounds show.

In the 90s he went to AA in Europe, but it wasn't truly helpful.

He now feels bloated and has a lot of diarrhea. 2 doctors here said that "it is gas".

I have checked on internet and with a nurse friend. My partner has a fat belly, but it isn't distended and tight (as in pictures of ascites). But, he just seems to get fatter, even on two bowls of soup and rice per day. Also he is forgetful, clumsy etc, a little bit.

We need a liver specialist who can really have a good look and feel. There was a reference on here to a top guy at Bumrungrad, but I can't find it now. Believe me, we have seen 2-3 general or GI doctors who say "gas", but don't want to get involved.

The other problem is that he is addicted, I think, to Ambien. He takes it every night and sometimes in the day. He gets it in a pharmacy somewhere--and I don't know if it is made in Vietnam or someplace.

What should we do? Does he need a liver doc or an addiction guy/psychiatrist? Ativan doesn't work for him (too mild). He won't go to AA. Every month is getting worse.

We can't afford the posh detox center which is 6,000 pounds. I heard that Chula Hospital has a detox, but that it is very tough and basic. The monk place just uses vomiting and religion, I heard (it sounds awful, sorry to those who have used it). There is also an expensive Psych hospital in Sukhumvit somewhere, but I think it is 10,000b a day plus.

Any ideas? getting desperate!

Thx

Eddy

[Mobi]

Ambien is Stillonox, or Zolpidem, a highly addictive sleeping pill that is only supposed to be used for short periods.

I quite surprised that he has been able to obtain it as there is draconian control on these type of drugs in Thailand and drug stores are not allowed to stock them – you have to have them prescribed and dispensed at a hospital and even then many small hospitals will not do so. I can only assume he has a ‘black market’ source.

A bottle of wine a day does not seem that excessive, but when mixed with Stillnox that is entirely another matter.

Given your stated financial situation it seems that your options are limited.

AA and NA (narcotics anonymous) is free and very good and he may find the support he needs there to get himself clean.

As you know, it will be up to him to make these decisions that may change his life around and you can only try to push him in the right direction.

Often someone very close to an addict is not the best person to do this and you may want to consider contacting AA or NA and see if there is anyone who may be prepared to go and talk to him.

Good luck.

[bunnaag]

what are the results of the blööd test?

[jvs]

Does your partner see the problem and does he wants to do something about it?You can not help some one who does not want to be helped,i have tried in the past and got nowhere.He will have to make the first step and realize it can save his life.

[pauleddy]

We need to have another set done.

I think the liver tests are normally a good indicator, but I heard that you can still get cirrhosis and have a normal liver test set, blah blah, and that an abnormal set may not mean much. There are some ratios which are more important then the test amounts??

[pauleddy]

Yes, he wants to stop but he relapses, saying things like it is too hot to sleep here, so he needs a drink. He likes bars too, since his teens! It will be a whole life-changing thing, I am afraid. After 50 years!

I am also worried about Ambien, as I am not sure what it does to the liver.

[mrtoad]

He needs to have full LFT and an Ultrasound. There are plenty of hospitals, that are of a good standard that should be ale to help, that don't charge Bumrungrad prices. Look at St Loius, Bangkok Christian, Mayo in Bangkok. You need initially, a good Gastro or Hepatologist to check this out. Although he has had this done previously, they may want to do it again.

Detox will really depend on if he is alcohol dependent, as opposed to him having a history of relapses.

Either way, you are going to have to pay out to get a proper assessment, be it at a hospital or a rehab.

As others have mentioned, there are NA and AA available to attend, but you say he is not interested. The big issue is, does he actually want to stop drinking? There is New Life Foundation in Chiang Rai, which may be an option for him, and price wise might fit.

Best of luck.

Edited December 20, 2012 by mrtoad

[GrahamF]

Lot's of good advice and your best option is to get your partner checked out. The only thing I would add is that you might want to be aware that your partner may possibly be drinking more than you think. Alcoholics can be very adept at hiding booze and sneaking drinks. He may or may not be doing this, it is however a possibility as is the combination of alcohol and drugs.

Best of luck!

[Mobi]

Lot's of good advice and your best option is to get your partner checked out. The only thing I would add is that you might want to be aware that your partner may possibly be drinking more than you think. Alcoholics can be very adept at hiding booze and sneaking drinks. He may or may not be doing this, it is however a possibility as is the combination of alcohol and drugs.

Best of luck!

Yes, I too was wondering about that.

After 30 years of heavy drinking, to be honest, to an alcoholic 1 bottle of wine a day is nothing.

1 bottle, or more of hard liquor is more normal.

I should know - I am an alcoholic.

I accept that the effect of the wine and Stillnox may be quite toxic but I still suspect your partner is drinking more than he is letting on.

After trying very hard for years to persuade one of my closest friends to go to AA or some other detox centre for help, I learned with regret that it is an almost impossible task if they do not acknowledge their problem and/or refuse help.

The friend in question died earlier this year from alcohol related causes, and this was the umpteenth time he had been rushed into hospital when suffering from alcohol related liver problems. His luck finally ran out.

Keep trying, but understand that it is your friend who must make the first step, or ultimately he may end up destroying you as well as himself.

Good luck

[gerryBScot]

You yourself might want to check out Al-anon which helps those affected by other people's drinking. I don't have a contact but I am sure "Al-anon" "Thailand" in a search engine will get you a contact.

[Bpuumike]

Lot's of good advice and your best option is to get your partner checked out. The only thing I would add is that you might want to be aware that your partner may possibly be drinking more than you think. Alcoholics can be very adept at hiding booze and sneaking drinks. He may or may not be doing this, it is however a possibility as is the combination of alcohol and drugs.

Best of luck!

Yes, I too was wondering about that.

After 30 years of heavy drinking, to be honest, to an alcoholic 1 bottle of wine a day is nothing.

1 bottle, or more of hard liquor is more normal.

I should know - I am an alcoholic.

I accept that the effect of the wine and Stillnox may be quite toxic but I still suspect your partner is drinking more than he is letting on.

After trying very hard for years to persuade one of my closest friends to go to AA or some other detox centre for help, I learned with regret that it is an almost impossible task if they do not acknowledge their problem and/or refuse help.

The friend in question died earlier this year from alcohol related causes, and this was the umpteenth time he had been rushed into hospital when suffering from alcohol related liver problems. His luck finally ran out.

Keep trying, but understand that it is your friend who must make the first step, or ultimately he may end up destroying you as well as himself.

Good luck

Unfortunately some of us slip (and skid) now and then.

[mogandave]

Lot's of good advice and your best option is to get your partner checked out. The only thing I would add is that you might want to be aware that your partner may possibly be drinking more than you think. Alcoholics can be very adept at hiding booze and sneaking drinks. He may or may not be doing this, it is however a possibility as is the combination of alcohol and drugs.

Best of luck!

Yes, I too was wondering about that.

After 30 years of heavy drinking, to be honest, to an alcoholic 1 bottle of wine a day is nothing.

1 bottle, or more of hard liquor is more normal.

I should know - I am an alcoholic.

I accept that the effect of the wine and Stillnox may be quite toxic but I still suspect your partner is drinking more than he is letting on.

After trying very hard for years to persuade one of my closest friends to go to AA or some other detox centre for help, I learned with regret that it is an almost impossible task if they do not acknowledge their problem and/or refuse help.

The friend in question died earlier this year from alcohol related causes, and this was the umpteenth time he had been rushed into hospital when suffering from alcohol related liver problems. His luck finally ran out.

Keep trying, but understand that it is your friend who must make the first step, or ultimately he may end up destroying you as well as himself.

Good luck

Unfortunately some of us slip (and skid) now and then.

Fortunately, many others do not.

Dr. Piyawat is a great liver doctor at Chulakorn (sp), but unless he gets clean, it's a waste of time.

[Bpuumike]

Lot's of good advice and your best option is to get your partner checked out. The only thing I would add is that you might want to be aware that your partner may possibly be drinking more than you think. Alcoholics can be very adept at hiding booze and sneaking drinks. He may or may not be doing this, it is however a possibility as is the combination of alcohol and drugs.

Best of luck!

Yes, I too was wondering about that.

After 30 years of heavy drinking, to be honest, to an alcoholic 1 bottle of wine a day is nothing.

1 bottle, or more of hard liquor is more normal.

I should know - I am an alcoholic.

I accept that the effect of the wine and Stillnox may be quite toxic but I still suspect your partner is drinking more than he is letting on.

After trying very hard for years to persuade one of my closest friends to go to AA or some other detox centre for help, I learned with regret that it is an almost impossible task if they do not acknowledge their problem and/or refuse help.

The friend in question died earlier this year from alcohol related causes, and this was the umpteenth time he had been rushed into hospital when suffering from alcohol related liver problems. His luck finally ran out.

Keep trying, but understand that it is your friend who must make the first step, or ultimately he may end up destroying you as well as himself.

Good luck

Absolutely, 1 bottle of wine a day is nothing. There must be more out of your sight or at bars.

He has to recognise his problem though and want to something about it. If nothing else then for the sake of your relationship.

[Sheryl]

He needs to have full LFT and an Ultrasound. There are plenty of hospitals, that are of a good standard that should be ale to help, that don't charge Bumrungrad prices. Look at St Loius, Bangkok Christian, Mayo in Bangkok. You need initially, a good Gastro or Hepatologist to check this out. Although he has had this done previously, they may want to do it again.

Detox will really depend on if he is alcohol dependent, as opposed to him having a history of relapses.

Either way, you are going to have to pay out to get a proper assessment, be it at a hospital or a rehab.

As others have mentioned, there are NA and AA available to attend, but you say he is not interested. The big issue is, does he actually want to stop drinking? There is New Life Foundation in Chiang Rai, which may be an option for him, and price wise might fit.

Best of luck.

Agree with all the above. A simple way to start would be to get a check up package that includes liver enzymes and bilirubin and (unless the last one is very recent) ultrasound of upper abdomen, then if blood test results are abnormal and/or ultrasound indicates cirrhosis see GI specialist.

You say he is getting fat without eating much, but remember that alcohol has a lot of calories. It's pure sugar.

New Life Foundation is good and reasonably priced but he has to want it, and it is a residential program. It is not at all clear from what you describe that he is really ready to seek help. BTW the AA program "works if you work it" (i.e. follow the steps) and otherwise does not, i.e. just going to meetings alone can't be expected to do the trick. I suspect his AA attendance in Europe did not include seriously working the program.

Regardless of whether or when he accepts help, you need help to deal with things and you can find it, along with others who have been through the same thing, at Al-Anon http://alanonthailand.org/

Good luck

[Chonburiram]

Last response of the topic starter was on 19.12.2012.

edit:

Offline since 29. 7. 2013

Edited November 20, 2013 by Chonburiram