What About Thai Men?

[MGLinearArt]

Just been lurking for the best part of 3 days, always lurk before posting, Internet tip #2 (#1 is don't talk about the Internet)

After reading countless man gets Thai girl, man gives Thai girl money, Thai girl finds Thai boy, man ends up left - or worse..

I'm curious to know about women who've found Thai guys - and their experience of the relationship whether good or bad..

[MGLinearArt]

As a follow up I'm not looking for a Thai girl or guy, just photographs of this amazing place

[wildorchid]

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

MANGDA can mean thai guy who signs a divoice paper for his thai wifeso he can get married with a paper with farang some thai lady move live in another country with farang but she will still send money take care her thai husbandand he will spend money for his KARAOKE NIGHT or CHICKEN FIGHT sure whenthe thai lady and farang comes to visit her family she will tell farang this is my cousin (her thai husband)

some thai ladys live in another country many year she have green card and she can garantee visa for her thai husband move live same country different city easy for they can come and meet, wait until farang die and both of them return thailand building big beautiful nice house and happy life in thailand.

[Zatoichi]

Actually lets not mix words Wildorchid, Mangda is the Thai word for Pimp.

Simple as that really.

[sbk]

so wildorchid, are you saying that ALL Thai men with foreign wives have no income and live off their wife? And if you honestly believe this load of tosh, I have to wonder what kind of people you hang out with.

[TommoPhysicist]

I thought 'Maeng Daa' was the term Thais used for a man that lives off a woman who was a prostitute.

Which is not what the OP was talking about.

Edited January 8, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[Rsquared]

Fair call by the OP, there probably aren't as many examples of Thai men in relationships with a female farang, as the other way around....so I understand his question and I too am curious as to whether those relationships have similarities to some we have read here on TV.

[rene123]

If you listen to the Thai girls working in the bars I think wild orchid's reply is valid. But, Thai "working girls" who earn their money in bars are only a tiny percentage of Thai women. I haven't spent enough time in Thailand to make any assumptions on how the remainder of the Thais think or do.

[sbk]

Thats correct, hes not Tommo,

I believe he says

I'm curious to know about women who've found Thai guys - and their experience of the relationship whether good or bad..

and in that light I am moving this to the Ladies Forum as it seems far more relevant there than in General

[wildorchid]

so wildorchid, are you saying that ALL Thai men with foreign wives have no income and live off their wife? And if you honestly believe this load of tosh, I have to wonder what kind of people you hang out with.

please show me where did i say ALL thai men??? PLEASE do not miss quote me,,,

[wildorchid]

Actually lets not mix words Wildorchid, Mangda is the Thai word for Pimp.

Simple as that really.

MANGDA ,,,(a man who lives with a prostitute,,,) (blood sucker) leach, need i go on???? YES (correct) MANGDA is as i post, or a farang word is PIMP,,, did i say anything that is not correct???? read the post agian,,, thai have many words as do english that mean the same, so be careful before you give your expert opinion on thai language,,,

[sbk]

So, what are you trying to say? If you would re-read my post you would see I am actually asking you what you are trying to say. You then go on to repeat the same thing. The implication seems clear but since you apparently are not saying that then please do tell us what you are trying to say, thanks

[wildorchid]

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

MANGDA can mean thai guy who signs a divoice paper for his thai wifeso he can get married with a paper with farang some thai lady move live in another country with farang but she will still send money take care her thai husbandand he will spend money for his KARAOKE NIGHT or CHICKEN FIGHT sure whenthe thai lady and farang comes to visit her family she will tell farang this is my cousin (her thai husband)

some thai ladys live in another country many year she have green card and she can garantee visa for her thai husband move live same country different city easy for they can come and meet, wait until farang die and both of them return thailand building big beautiful nice house and happy life in thailand.

where did i say anything that is not correct in this.

in my life 30 years up ??? as i run a business that deal with plublic (farang and thai ) i am just saying what i have seen every day in my life, working, i have NEVER in my professional working life seen a mangda pay for food ,medicine, taxi or anything so this makes him a blood sucker, leach, pimp live of orthers, SYMBIOTIC

[heatherm]

Most of the advice I've been given by Thai women about Thai men comes from women I'd never want to be around as friends. They all say (yes, all, each and every one of them) that all Thai men are bad, lazy, cheating liars. I'm married to a fantastic Thai guy. I've never met someone so caring, hard working and honest before him. He would never look twice at a bar girl type. He thinks that all Thai women are interested in is money and how much they can spend. I think it works the same all over the world, certain women attract bad guys. The ladies with their hand out for money from their farang bf are the ones that complain the most about Thai guys.

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[heatherm]

My Thai husband and I have a business together so the money is "our" money. He pays for everything. I don't even bother to carry change for the toilet with me. It's funny that in tourist areas the wait staff will hand me the bill, but everywhere else he gets it.

Back before we were married and had the business he had a regular job. 225 baht a day. That's 1125 a week. I make an average of 40,000 a week. Why the heck would I make him pay for dinner at the kind of restaurants I want to eat at? Some of my dinners cost two days salary. I've eaten places that one person costs a week salary. Was he suppose to pay for my meal and not eat for a week? That's just stupid! He always paid for noodles and the boat taxis and when I wanted to eat in aircon or stay out of the rain in a taxi, I paid.

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[wildorchid]

My Thai husband and I have a business together so the money is "our" money. He pays for everything. I don't even bother to carry change for the toilet with me. It's funny that in tourist areas the wait staff will hand me the bill, but everywhere else he gets it.

Back before we were married and had the business he had a regular job. 225 baht a day. That's 1125 a week. I make an average of 40,000 a week. Why the heck would I make him pay for dinner at the kind of restaurants I want to eat at? Some of my dinners cost two days salary. I've eaten places that one person costs a week salary. Was he suppose to pay for my meal and not eat for a week? That's just stupid! He always paid for noodles and the boat taxis and when I wanted to eat in aircon or stay out of the rain in a taxi, I paid.

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this is SYMBIOTIC relasionship, you get what you give

[Trembly]

A maeng da is a man who lives off of the labour of a woman without lifting a finger himself, though able.

[Berkshire]

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

So you're implying that a Thai man with a farang lady behaves the same as a Thai lady with a farang man? I haven't seen much evidence of this, but I suppose everyone is entitled to an opinion.

By the way, how do you feel about Thai men/farang women couples? Because you seem to be very much against it.

[sbk]

The OP didn't ask specifically about Thai men who live off their wives but rather asked if farang women had the same kinds of issues that farang men do.

Sure short time bar boys to some extent but in the over 20 years that I have lived here and the numerous Thai man-Foreign woman relationships I have seen (quite a few I should add) none of them actually fit wildorchid's description. While in some cases the woman may have brought more money into the relationship more often than not it was done to invest in a business in which they both worked.

So, no for long term real relationships and not holiday flings on the beach with a beachboy, , this is not the case and to suggest that all relationships between thai men and foreign women are so is incorrect.

[MGLinearArt]

Most of the advice I've been given by Thai women about Thai men comes from women I'd never want to be around as friends. They all say (yes, all, each and every one of them) that all Thai men are bad, lazy, cheating liars. I'm married to a fantastic Thai guy. I've never met someone so caring, hard working and honest before him. He would never look twice at a bar girl type. He thinks that all Thai women are interested in is money and how much they can spend. I think it works the same all over the world, certain women attract bad guys. The ladies with their hand out for money from their farang bf are the ones that complain the most about Thai guys.

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Aha, yes, this was on topic, thanks - and good perspective

[Zatoichi]

Actually lets not mix words Wildorchid, Mangda is the Thai word for Pimp.

Simple as that really.

MANGDA ,,,(a man who lives with a prostitute,,,) (blood sucker) leach, need i go on???? YES (correct) MANGDA is as i post, or a farang word is PIMP,,, did i say anything that is not correct???? read the post agian,,, thai have many words as do english that mean the same, so be careful before you give your expert opinion on thai language,,,

Relax, I agree with everything you said. After being here. For 12 years I have seen only one Thai Man / foreign woman relationship that was well matched and on the level. It was a smart young med student from a wealthy family dating a gorgeous russian model. They looked great and seemed very happy together. As for the rest of the relationships they were all very much of the mengda variety, some scuzzy motorbike taxi driver or some lazy labor worker or something, hooked up with some western woman who was paying his bills.

Now I don't criticize a woman who wants to financially support her man, thats on her. Thats entirely their choice I don't fault them. But as a response to the OP its quite rare that these relationships are not mengda like.

On a slightly different topic, I have NEVER heard of any Thai man paying a sin sot for his western wife with the exception of maybe the Tennis player Paradorn who coughed up some serious bread for his Russian. Have any married ladies here been respected with a sinsot?

[wildorchid]

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

So you're implying that a Thai man with a farang lady behaves the same as a Thai lady with a farang man? I haven't seen much evidence of this, but I suppose everyone is entitled to an opinion.

By the way, how do you feel about Thai men/farang women couples? Because you seem to be very much against it.

I don't feel anything,,, it's up to them, if the 2 people are happy then good for them, i'm happy for them, all i was saying, was that thai people have a name for a man that lives off a woman (MANGDA) it is the same as an orchid that live off a tree , tree dose the work and the orchid takes energy from the tree, fact!!!

sometimes I feel sorry for a woman that is beeing cheated by MANGDA, and i almost want to say to her ,, your boyfriend has many ladys from other counties, but then she is an adult so she makes her own choices. the same goes for a man, maybe I'm just a little to soft hearted to feel sorry for victims of liers and cheats. and yes I do see this often just as i see happy normal coupels.

[fletchsmile]

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

So you're implying that a Thai man with a farang lady behaves the same as a Thai lady with a farang man? I haven't seen much evidence of this, but I suppose everyone is entitled to an opinion.

By the way, how do you feel about Thai men/farang women couples? Because you seem to be very much against it.

I think people have misread wildorchid's post. OP's post was slanted towards the negative side of male foreigner/Thai woman, when OP stated

(quote) "After reading countless man gets Thai girl, man gives Thai girl money, Thai girl finds Thai boy, man ends up left - or worse.."

then

(quote) "I'm curious to know about women who've found Thai guys - and their experience of the relationship whether good or bad.."

If anything the implication is from OP about Thai female/ foreign male relationships, then asking how Thai male/female foreigner compare. All wildorchid has done is say that there are similar (negative) relationships between foreign women/ Thai man, which is pretty much what OP asked. Wildorchid didn't say this is the norm or "all", and simply answered OPs implied question. i.e a lot of male foreigners come off badly what about female foreigners. Answer: some female foreigners suffer a similar fate. Because OPs question was from a negative slant Wildorchid's slant will naturally sound negative as the same thing happens for female foreigners too.

As I see it. It's a fact there are more male foreigner/ female Thai relationships then female foreigner/ male Thai realtionships.

By no means do all the male foreigner/ female Thais go wrong, there are plenty that work out, just forums tend to focus on the negatives. Similarly I know foreign women who've been taken for a ride in similar way to foreign men. But same as for men though there are plenty of foreign female/ Thai men relationships that work out too.

To extend the point further there are also same sex relationships: female foreigner/female Thai and male foreigner/male Thai where people get taken for a ride, and sometimes the Thai partner isn't actually gay, but just does so for financial reasons. I'm sure there are also plenty of relationships that work out too.

Given the economic disparities between westerners and Thais are greater than between westerners and westerners, I'd say the chances of a westerner getting ripped off and taken for a ride here (regardless of gender) are higher in Thailand, particularly if you factor in misreading the cultural signals and differences and don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Edited January 9, 2013 by fletchsmile

[wildorchid]

The OP didn't ask specifically about Thai men who live off their wives but rather asked if farang women had the same kinds of issues that farang men do.

Sure short time bar boys to some extent but in the over 20 years that I have lived here and the numerous Thai man-Foreign woman relationships I have seen (quite a few I should add) none of them actually fit wildorchid's description. While in some cases the woman may have brought more money into the relationship more often than not it was done to invest in a business in which they both worked.

So, no for long term real relationships and not holiday flings on the beach with a beachboy, , this is not the case and to suggest that all relationships between thai men and foreign women are so is incorrect.

I DID NOT SAY ALL,,, AND TO IMPLY THAT I DID IS INCORRECT.

ok you have "20 years" of living here, wow i'm underwhelmed, i have over 30 years here, but hey it's not a competition.

[wildorchid]

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

So you're implying that a Thai man with a farang lady behaves the same as a Thai lady with a farang man? I haven't seen much evidence of this, but I suppose everyone is entitled to an opinion.

By the way, how do you feel about Thai men/farang women couples? Because you seem to be very much against it.

I think people have misread wildorchid's post. OP's post was slanted towards the negative side of male foreigner/Thai woman, when OP stated

(quote) "After reading countless man gets Thai girl, man gives Thai girl money, Thai girl finds Thai boy, man ends up left - or worse.."

then

(quote) "I'm curious to know about women who've found Thai guys - and their experience of the relationship whether good or bad.."

If anything the implication is from OP about Thai female/ foreign male relationships, then asking how Thai male/female foreigner compare. All wildorchid has done is say that there are similar (negative) relationships between foreign women/ Thai man, which is pretty much what OP asked. Wildorchid didn't say this is the norm or "all", and simply answered OPs implied question. i.e a lot of male foreigners come off badly what about female foreigners. Answer: some female foreigners suffer a similar fate. Because OPs question was from a negative slant Wildorchid's slant will naturally sound negative as the same thing happens for female foreigners too.

As I see it. It's a fact there are more male foreigner/ female Thai relationships then female foreigner/ male Thai realtionships.

By no means do all the male foreigner/ female Thais go wrong, there are plenty that work out, just forums tend to focus on the negatives. Similarly I know foreign women who've been taken for a ride in similar way to foreign men. But same as for men though there are plenty of foreign female/ Thai men relationships that work out too.

To extend the point further there are also same sex relationships: female foreigner/female and Thai male foreigner/male Thai where people get taken for a ride, and sometimes the Thai partner isn't actually gay, but just does so for financial reasons. I'm sure there are also plenty of relationships that work out too.

Given the economic disparities between westerners and Thais are greater than between westerners and westerners, I'd say the chances of a westerner getting ripped off and taken for a ride here (regardless of gender) are higher in Thailand, particularly if you factor in misreading the cultural signals and differences and don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Thank you for taking what i was saying and not spining it like others did, cheers

[Berkshire]

The OP didn't ask specifically about Thai men who live off their wives but rather asked if farang women had the same kinds of issues that farang men do.

Sure short time bar boys to some extent but in the over 20 years that I have lived here and the numerous Thai man-Foreign woman relationships I have seen (quite a few I should add) none of them actually fit wildorchid's description. While in some cases the woman may have brought more money into the relationship more often than not it was done to invest in a business in which they both worked.

So, no for long term real relationships and not holiday flings on the beach with a beachboy, , this is not the case and to suggest that all relationships between thai men and foreign women are so is incorrect.

I DID NOT SAY ALL,,, AND TO IMPLY THAT I DID IS INCORRECT.

ok you have "20 years" of living here, wow i'm underwhelmed, i have over 30 years here, but hey it's not a competition.

You're being rather disingenuous. The OP did not ask you to focus only on the bad relationships, but that is what you did. So to say that you "didn't mean ALL" is somewhat of a cop-out. If they are not "all" like that, why did you ONLY mention those types of relationships? They are clearly a small, small minority of actual Thai/farang relationships, yet, that's all you want to talk about.

[MGLinearArt]

I'm also really curious on how frequent this occurs with Thai male/foreign female

Seems almost every guy in Thailand wants a Thai woman to share life with (or pay some baht to) but I rarely hear of women coming to Thailand picking up Thai bar guys (does that ever happen??)

[CWMcMurray]

...[snip]...

Given the economic disparities between westerners and Thais are greater than between westerners and westerners, I'd say the chances of a westerner getting ripped off and taken for a ride here (regardless of gender) are higher in Thailand, particularly if you factor in misreading the cultural signals and differences and don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Also because of this finacial disparty, most of those that are targeted by these con artists in Thailand, have no where enough money to perk the interest of the same type of con artists in their home countries.

There are plenty of gold diggers in the west looking for sugar daddies and sugar mommies .... but a retired brick layer or accountant from UK is not going be in their cross hares in the west...

I believe that this is why many of them are taken easily... as they have not spent their life in the West learning to avoid these types, so when they roll into Thailand is is just ... WOW I'M A ROCK STAR!!! and they are not preprared for the motives of some of these scammers.

Edited January 9, 2013 by CWMcMurray

[sbk]

err, I am not the one who initially brought up their experience in Thailand wildorchid, you do really need to tone it down. I was explaining that my experiences have not been the same as yours and that to not include that fact is not going to give a real picture Everyone has different experiences and mine are no less valid than yours simply because I am not a Thai person. The fact remains that you are not a Foreign woman with a Thai husband and so you can only give hearsay on how things go.

I;d offer more than a few real stories here but really it seems pretty pointless as this thread has already been hijacked by an agenda

[Berkshire]

I'm also really curious on how frequent this occurs with Thai male/foreign female

Seems almost every guy in Thailand wants a Thai woman to share life with (or pay some baht to) but I rarely hear of women coming to Thailand picking up Thai bar guys (does that ever happen??)

I don't know of too many countries on this planet where western women go to and try to pick up peasant farm guys. Do you? The dynamics of what a man and a woman wants are completely different.