I don't know of too many countries on this planet where western women go to and try to pick up peasant farm guys. Do you? The dynamics of what a man and a woman wants are completely different.

Off topic now but

The Caribbean is quite a popular destination for western women seeking beach boys, also Indonesia.

The dynamic is there, just no quite so 'in yer face'. The national Post has quite a good story on it.

Women really aren't all that different to men in these days of sexual equality and equal opportunity.

Edited January 9, 201313 yr by TommoPhysicist

I'm not sure if it's language or personal issue, but wildorchid needs to work on SYMBIOTIC relationship on a forum Chill out on aggressive/confrontational and defensive position and listen to other point of views.

On the other hand, thank you for your Thai (woman?) perspective on the subject.

I know loads of thai man western women couples that are long term where both work together & contribute together to their relationship both emotionally & financially. I know zero that are like the supposedly thai poster (I have my doubts) claims but hey what the flub do I know right, I am only a western women married to a thai man who doesn't hang out with bar boys or motocy taxi drivers & neither does anyone I know.

I would suggest getting a better quality of friends for the thai poster focused so much on pimps but tbh I don't care enough. A case of som nom na for them maybe?

Actually lets not mix words Wildorchid, Mangda is the Thai word for Pimp.

Simple as that really.

That's right! It's derived from horseshoe crab.

I'm married to a Thai man. We're approximately the same age and education level. He's the breadwinner in the relationship if you're wondering.

But Wildorchid is a professional and has never seen a Thai guy pay for his farang gf so it must be true.

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But Wildorchid is a professional and has never seen a Thai guy pay for his farang gf so it must be true.

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You might disagree with what you said, but was it necessary to call her a whore.

If any man had call a a Female Thai Visa member a whore they would be called out by the mods.

If you read wildorchid's posts you will see that you are taking it the wrong way entirely. Suggest you reconsider what the word professional means for people who don't hang around bars.

I think you're spot on with your last post sbk

I'd take a step further and would say most people have read Wildorchid's post the wrong way full stop. I'd suggest most people reread the thread, from the following perspective and then rethink. OP opened with:

1) Having read countless threads about foreign males being taken for money by Thai women the foreign guys comes off badly.

2) He's curious the experiences of foreign women with Thai men? Any experiences good or bad?

No surprise to me that someone answered those two questions as Wilorchid did. All Wildorchid did is say yes it happens to women too - they get taken for money too and there's a word for it in Thai. I think people have read a lot unfairly into Wildorchid's posts when actually they were just answering the question (and also from someone who doesn't spend a lot of time in those circles - just saying yes it does happen).

A shame people have jumped on it the wrong way. Particularly if we bear in mind that Wildorchid is Thai so although the English is very good, it's not perfect. Wildorchid has simply answered with the same narrow focus OP had, and answered literally rather than in a wider context. I'd encourage people to reread... and just leave out the personal attacks...

Edited January 11, 201313 yr by fletchsmile

Uh, sorry guys. I didn't read "professional" as whore. I thought she meant her job was in some kind of tourist area where she came in contact with farang women. Maybe at a restaurant on a beach some place? She mentioned Thai guys don't pay for meals, do they serve food at bar girl bars? Would a farang lady bring her Thai bf to a bar girl bar? I can't imagine they do. Who would the bar girls hang on, the Thai guy or the farang lady? It wouldn't be very logical for her to be bragging about being a whore if she's trying to say she watches the spending habits of farang women. I just thought it was a funny usage of the word professional because to me that means a doctor or lawyer or some such. I had this pictue of a lady in a pant suit taking notes on how much farang women spend on lunch for their Thai bf.

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I'm also really curious on how frequent this occurs with Thai male/foreign female

Seems almost every guy in Thailand wants a Thai woman to share life with (or pay some baht to) but I rarely hear of women coming to Thailand picking up Thai bar guys (does that ever happen??)

This is quite common in the UK with single middle aged women - the common destinations they go to are the Carribbean,Gambia and to a lesser extent Turkey/Greece/Latin countries etc. Sex tourism reversed. When I was in Vietnam some time ago there were a lot of single Japanese office girls holidaying alone and I got talking to a motocycle driver - apparently there had been some popular Japanese soap opera on Japanese TV where a Japanese girl fell in love with a Vietnamese motocycle taxi driver. The one I spoke with had a Jap girl on the go - all the sex he wanted , some money and a gold chain. Suffice to say he was a happy man. Met a similar case in Chiang Mai - a Japanese girl with a tuk-tuk driver - they seem to have money,intent but no men they seem to want in Japan so some go on the prowl in Asia.

True, but the numbers are, of course vastly lower than that of foreign men.

I have seen beach boys with what I call "flavor of the month". Can't say that most these girls have much money and usually see the guys spend about as much as the girls. Occasionally they will meet a girl with money but more often than not they are backpacker girls without tons of ready cash.

Long term relationships between thai men and foreign women tend to be quite different and its rare to see a long term relationship in which the husband is a kept man. Usually IME relationships that last see the couple both working. Something that a few of us were trying to point out but seem to be overlooked when pointing it out. I guess it doesn't fit the preconceived notions that people prefer to have

fletchsmile

Posted Yesterday, 22:48

I think you're spot on with your last post sbk

I'd take a step further and would say most people have read Wildorchid's post the wrong way full stop. I'd suggest most people reread the thread, from the following perspective and then rethink. OP opened with:

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

MANGDA can mean thai guy who signs a divoice paper for his thai wifeso he can get married with a paper with farang some thai lady move live in another country with farang but she will still send money take care her thai husbandand he will spend money for his KARAOKE NIGHT or CHICKEN FIGHT sure whenthe thai lady and farang comes to visit her family she will tell farang this is my cousin (her thai husband)

some thai ladys live in another country many year she have green card and she can garantee visa for her thai husband move live same country different city easy for they can come and meet, wait until farang die and both of them return thailand building big beautiful nice house and happy life in thailand.

Actually fletchsmile, if you read the first post from wildorchid, I can't see anywhere where they were stating this to be just one example. In fact it looks to me that this poster is making a blanket statement about western women with thai men.

As I said, if you hang around with the lowest common denominator (I will assume wildorchid does considering they seem to be so sure of their position & reference to pimps being quite prevailant) then this will probably be your experiences but I am friends with regular people so this is not the situation for my friends who are in western women thai man relationships. Sometimes the man might have less money but he certainly isn't being supported or a pimp.

I personally find it very ignorant for this poster to post this. Had I posted that a western man with a thai women where the women earned less than the man was a "hooker" & her husband/bf was a "john" I'm 100% sure there would have been numerous abusive posts against me, so imo this "thai" poster has gotten off quite easily.

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

this meansa man who does not do any work just askfor money from the lady and pay for food, rent or buy something for him some guy's work but only have small income same like work in a tattoo shop, or play fire on the beach or boxing, one guy has many different farang g/f's in different countrys and all his g/f have to send him money to take care him or make visa for his holiday in another country they are the same as thai bargirl but just not work in a bar.

MANGDA can mean thai guy who signs a divoice paper for his thai wifeso he can get married with a paper with farang some thai lady move live in another country with farang but she will still send money take care her thai husbandand he will spend money for his KARAOKE NIGHT or CHICKEN FIGHT sure whenthe thai lady and farang comes to visit her family she will tell farang this is my cousin (her thai husband)

some thai ladys live in another country many year she have green card and she can garantee visa for her thai husband move live same country different city easy for they can come and meet, wait until farang die and both of them return thailand building big beautiful nice house and happy life in thailand.

Actually fletchsmile, if you read the first post from wildorchid, I can't see anywhere where they were stating this to be just one example. In fact it looks to me that this poster is making a blanket statement about western women with thai men.

As I said, if you hang around with the lowest common denominator (I will assume wildorchid does considering they seem to be so sure of their position & reference to pimps being quite prevailant) then this will probably be your experiences but I am friends with regular people so this is not the situation for my friends who are in western women thai man relationships. Sometimes the man might have less money but he certainly isn't being supported or a pimp.

I personally find it very ignorant for this poster to post this. Had I posted that a western man with a thai women where the women earned less than the man was a "hooker" & her husband/bf was a "john" I'm 100% sure there would have been numerous abusive posts against me, so imo this "thai" poster has gotten off quite easily.

I guess you interpreted it differently. To me it didn't look like a blanket statement. Have reread again and still son't see that. I just read what Wildorchid wrote. They said

" I am Thai and have seen what you ask about".

then goes on to explain and give examples and expand. I agree with you they didn't say it was one case only. They actually went on to give examples and variations on the theme.

Nowhere did it say "all" nor "that it was commonplace"

Bottom line the relationships farang woman/Thai guy which are financially motivated as OP implied do exist, as Wildorchid said. Women do get ripped off. It's by no means the norm, which to me goes without saying. Not really my circles either as you say - although as you know we all see all sorts of relationships here.

Agree with your last para. Then again that view point gets posted all the time. I actually thought OPs point was a bit skewed and trolling, but just ignored it. There are plenty of guys in successful relationships with Thai women - I don't see any balance in OPs point, nor in the posts since. Also OP seemed a bit intent on wanting to know more about the Thai guy/foreign girl relationships which were money related. He doesn't seem particularly interested in normal relationships that are success.

If anything to me, the troll was OP. Look also at post #27. Nothing positive in his first post about foreign guys/ Thai girls. Then #27 says "most men" wanting to pay money etc.

Haven't bothered to reply to him or the first post - obvious he mixes in narrow circles and doesn't know much about Thailand. Only reason I posted really was I thought people had misunderstood and usually the Ladies forum is a much more respectful place. - just seemed harsh on a Thai poster that was all. I could be wrong of course...

Edited January 12, 201313 yr by fletchsmile

She did say she's "never" seen a Thai guy with a farang g/f pay for anything in her 30 up years as a professional business owner. That seemed kind of blanket to me.

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She did say she's "never" seen a Thai guy with a farang g/f pay for anything in her 30 up years as a professional business owner. That seemed kind of blanket to me.

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Which post did you read that in? Post #13 said she has never seen a "mangda" pay. It didn't say she has never seen a "Thai guy" pay. I think again you might have misread... quote below. Highlight is mine.

where did i say anything that is not correct in this.

in my life 30 years up ??? as i run a business that deal with plublic (farang and thai ) i am just saying what i have seen every day in my life, working, i have NEVER in my professional working life seen a mangda pay for food ,medicine, taxi or anything so this makes him a blood sucker, leach, pimp live of orthers, SYMBIOTIC

My Thai husband and I have a business together so the money is "our" money. He pays for everything. I don't even bother to carry change for the toilet with me. It's funny that in tourist areas the wait staff will hand me the bill, but everywhere else he gets it.

I have the exact opposite, I am a western guy and my thai gf makes a ton more money than I do. Every time we are out for food or in a taxi and talk about business they always assume it's me with the money. We don't have a problem with it, we always smile and laugh. They hand me the bill and I always smile and turn to my girlfriend and put out the begger's hands asking for money in thai, we always get a good laugh out of it.

I don't know why everyone is getting on Wildorchid case. She is simply pointing out a segment of the population that is very real and active, I do not think she is criticizing every thai guy, but a portion of them.

If you go down to Phi Phi or Phangan, you can see the examples she talks about. Having lived on the islands before I have known a bunch of guys that have taken this route. They work the bars on the islands, fire shows, etc and have a different girl every week. They hit them up for a bit of money from skype or facebook and get their visas abroad for traveling just like the bar girls. They really only work those jobs because that is where they can meet new girls every week. Some have Thai girlfriends, some have wives, some have kids, and some are just single.

I don't see it much different than the bar girl scene except for the absence of bar fines. These guys sometimes work the short game, i.e. couple nights in a nice big room, sex, booze and food or the long game - visas and trips abroad. Only one guy I know has settled down a bit with a western girl and started his own bar with her money.

This is not true of every guy that works the bars in the south, but a lot of them do this. It's the same generalizations people make about the bar girls. I got friends down there that bust their ass running bars and businesses, making good money and take care of their family, kids, significant others and are generally just good <deleted>**ing dudes, so its not true of everyone.

Edited January 13, 201313 yr by MikeThaison

It has been an interesting discussion and it's opened my eyes a litte to the various mixes of relationships. I can see a little in a lot of it in Chiang Mai where I stay. Fortunately for me, I'm not currently looking for a relationship. I just got out of a broken marriage in Canada and don't want to jump into the fire again so soon. Thailand is a pretty easy for meeting new people with which to just share a few laughs.

It has been an interesting discussion and it's opened my eyes a litte to the various mixes of relationships. I can see a little in a lot of it in Chiang Mai where I stay. Fortunately for me, I'm not currently looking for a relationship. I just got out of a broken marriage in Canada and don't want to jump into the fire again so soon. Thailand is a pretty easy for meeting new people with which to just share a few laughs.

One of the ironies in life is you often find the right relationship when you least expect it and when you're not looking for it

Meeting new people is one of the things I've always liked about Thailand too. As you say an easy country to meet people in. Friendly if you're just looking for "sanuk" and not taking life too seriously

I don't know of too many countries on this planet where western women go to and try to pick up peasant farm guys. Do you? The dynamics of what a man and a woman wants are completely different.

Off topic now but

The Caribbean is quite a popular destination for western women seeking beach boys, also Indonesia.

The dynamic is there, just no quite so 'in yer face'. The national Post has quite a good story on it.

Women really aren't all that different to men in these days of sexual equality and equal opportunity.

Actually, I'm aware that these places exist. But compared to the female prostitution variety, it's tiny. I was mostly responding to the MG dude's rather asinine question. Surely he knows that female prostitution outnumbers male prostitution by a large, large margin. Does he know why men tend to buy sex more frequently than women the world over? If so, why ask such an idiotic question? If he doesn't know....then maybe he should reconsider expressing his opinion in a public forum.

I don't know of too many countries on this planet where western women go to and try to pick up peasant farm guys. Do you? The dynamics of what a man and a woman wants are completely different.

Off topic now but

The Caribbean is quite a popular destination for western women seeking beach boys, also Indonesia.

The dynamic is there, just no quite so 'in yer face'. The national Post has quite a good story on it.

Women really aren't all that different to men in these days of sexual equality and equal opportunity.

Actually, I'm aware that these places exist. But compared to the female prostitution variety, it's tiny. I was mostly responding to the MG dude's rather asinine question. Surely he knows that female prostitution outnumbers male prostitution by a large, large margin. Does he know why men tend to buy sex more frequently than women the world over? If so, why ask such an idiotic question? If he doesn't know....then maybe he should reconsider expressing his opinion in a public forum.

Why thanks, maybe if people who posted here weren't treated like lower class thickos by such high and mighty people as your fine self, then you'd have more of a discussion and less of a trolling session, I asked a question because I wanted to know the answer... if I hadn't asked the question then subsequent replies would not have been posted..

Forums are the same the world around, trolls and bs posters and flamers wanting their piece of the pie.

Yes, I do know the difference in dynamic between male and female is different, but I'm also very aware that 500,000 Thai guys/girls don't come over to the UK looking for young, wealthy women/men.

Next time I have a question I won't ask it, instead I'll ponder in my head and come up with a vague answer that satisfies me.. The public forum I expressed my opinion on is valid to the post, it was not an idiotic question, merely replied to by an idiotic boob..

Edit: I also wasn't asking about prostitution per sé - but the act of picking up a guy in a bar/club/restaurant/supermarket.. People do that the world over, mostly never related to prostitution

Edited January 14, 201313 yr by MGLinearArt

Edit: I also wasn't asking about prostitution per sé - but the act of picking up a guy in a bar/club/restaurant/supermarket.. People do that the world over, mostly never related to prostitution

You weren't asking about prostitution? Perhaps I misunderstood your comment, which was:

".....but I rarely hear of women coming to Thailand picking up Thai bar guys (does that ever happen??)"

My apologies, but when you said "Thai bar guys," I thought you meant....well "bar guys."

Regardless of what you meant, I'm of the belief that foreign men and women in Thailand are not looking for the same things. For example, farang women generally would prefer a guy with some means/prospects, educated (to her level or beyond), and most importantly, someone with whom she can communicate (i.e., language compatibility). Farang men largely would accept much less, so long as she's physically attractive (to him, anyways). There are exceptions, certainly, but this is why there are fewer farang female/Thai male couples than the opposite.

Given the economic disparities between westerners and Thais are greater than between westerners and westerners, I'd say the chances of a westerner getting ripped off and taken for a ride here (regardless of gender) are higher in Thailand, particularly if you factor in misreading the cultural signals and differences and don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Well said. I wish more foreigners thought about the possible misunderstandings that may arise, before throwing themselves into relationships with Thai people, whether they're bargirls, beachboys, or people from the vast majority of the population who AREN'T just out to fleece us. Misreading signals and cultural misunderstanding can, and does, occur in all mixed-culture relationships.

I should know - I've been married to a Thai man for 10 years and we still sometimes have to say "What the hell...?" - then let it go.

And back to the original question... good or bad? Well, difficult. I think, on average, much more difficult than with a farang male-Thai female relationship, because women in Thailand are often treated as the back legs of the donkey (or in Thai, the man's buffalo!) and women from a Western culture aren't going to put up with that. It usually comes from the in-laws rather than the husband, but even a lovely enlightened man will often display some irritating chauvanist tendencies! A Western man can get away with not learning the language, not adapting to the culture, and not lifting a finger to help with anything outside of his paid employment. A Western woman can't get away with these things - the community will tut and gossip and condemn the lazy farang. Again, it's more from other people than the husband himself.

As for men who actively cheat their Western wives - yes, it happens. But it's usually only the very young women that will be blind to that - and not for too long. In contrast, many men seem to get cheated (or used) again and again well into old age!

As an aside, a friend has recently married a Thai man and had a baby. She has gone back to work after a few months, as she earns quite good money. They opted for him to stay at home as the baby's carer, rather than him go out and earn the low wage that he could earn, and spend almost all of it on a nanny. People are trying to tell her that he's using her!

Given the economic disparities between westerners and Thais are greater than between westerners and westerners, I'd say the chances of a westerner getting ripped off and taken for a ride here (regardless of gender) are higher in Thailand, particularly if you factor in misreading the cultural signals and differences and don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Well said. I wish more foreigners thought about the possible misunderstandings that may arise, before throwing themselves into relationships with Thai people, whether they're bargirls, beachboys, or people from the vast majority of the population who AREN'T just out to fleece us. Misreading signals and cultural misunderstanding can, and does, occur in all mixed-culture relationships.

I should know - I've been married to a Thai man for 10 years and we still sometimes have to say "What the hell...?" - then let it go.

And back to the original question... good or bad? Well, difficult. I think, on average, much more difficult than with a farang male-Thai female relationship, because women in Thailand are often treated as the back legs of the donkey (or in Thai, the man's buffalo!) and women from a Western culture aren't going to put up with that. It usually comes from the in-laws rather than the husband, but even a lovely enlightened man will often display some irritating chauvanist tendencies! A Western man can get away with not learning the language, not adapting to the culture, and not lifting a finger to help with anything outside of his paid employment. A Western woman can't get away with these things - the community will tut and gossip and condemn the lazy farang. Again, it's more from other people than the husband himself.

As for men who actively cheat their Western wives - yes, it happens. But it's usually only the very young women that will be blind to that - and not for too long. In contrast, many men seem to get cheated (or used) again and again well into old age!

As an aside, a friend has recently married a Thai man and had a baby. She has gone back to work after a few months, as she earns quite good money. They opted for him to stay at home as the baby's carer, rather than him go out and earn the low wage that he could earn, and spend almost all of it on a nanny. People are trying to tell her that he's using her!

Actually the 'man's buffalo' is mainly meant as a smutty double entendre rather than as a pejorative.

There's a popular old country song with a refrain that translates to :

"If you leave your ears at the farm and your eyes at the paddy

You may end up without a buffalo with which to plough the field"

Edited January 17, 201313 yr by Trembly

i am thai people and i have seen what you ask about, in thai social about thai guy who has a g/f farang lady, thai people call them " MANGDA" ,,,

I'm not sure what I misread. Thai guy with farang g/f = mangda. Wild Orchid has never seen a mangda\thai guy with farang g\f pay for anything. It's a blanket statement about Thai guys with farang g/f. It'not true. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying some of us have found good ones.

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Given the economic disparities between westerners and Thais are greater than between westerners and westerners, I'd say the chances of a westerner getting ripped off and taken for a ride here (regardless of gender) are higher in Thailand, particularly if you factor in misreading the cultural signals and differences and don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Well said. I wish more foreigners thought about the possible misunderstandings that may arise, before throwing themselves into relationships with Thai people, whether they're bargirls, beachboys, or people from the vast majority of the population who AREN'T just out to fleece us. Misreading signals and cultural misunderstanding can, and does, occur in all mixed-culture relationships.

I should know - I've been married to a Thai man for 10 years and we still sometimes have to say "What the hell...?" - then let it go.

And back to the original question... good or bad? Well, difficult. I think, on average, much more difficult than with a farang male-Thai female relationship, because women in Thailand are often treated as the back legs of the donkey (or in Thai, the man's buffalo!) and women from a Western culture aren't going to put up with that. It usually comes from the in-laws rather than the husband, but even a lovely enlightened man will often display some irritating chauvanist tendencies! A Western man can get away with not learning the language, not adapting to the culture, and not lifting a finger to help with anything outside of his paid employment. A Western woman can't get away with these things - the community will tut and gossip and condemn the lazy farang. Again, it's more from other people than the husband himself.

As for men who actively cheat their Western wives - yes, it happens. But it's usually only the very young women that will be blind to that - and not for too long. In contrast, many men seem to get cheated (or used) again and again well into old age!

As an aside, a friend has recently married a Thai man and had a baby. She has gone back to work after a few months, as she earns quite good money. They opted for him to stay at home as the baby's carer, rather than him go out and earn the low wage that he could earn, and spend almost all of it on a nanny. People are trying to tell her that he's using her!

Actually the 'man's buffalo' is mainly meant as a smutty double entendre rather than as a pejorative.

There's a popular old country song with a refrain that translates to :

"If you leave your ears at the farm and your eyes at the paddy

You may end up without a buffalo with which to plough the field"

Nope, sorry, the phrase "A man is a person, a woman is a buffalo" is used to mean that, while both are necessary in plowing the field, it's the man who controls the buffalo... or the woman.

Given the economic disparities between westerners and Thais are greater than between westerners and westerners, I'd say the chances of a westerner getting ripped off and taken for a ride here (regardless of gender) are higher in Thailand, particularly if you factor in misreading the cultural signals and differences and don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Well said. I wish more foreigners thought about the possible misunderstandings that may arise, before throwing themselves into relationships with Thai people, whether they're bargirls, beachboys, or people from the vast majority of the population who AREN'T just out to fleece us. Misreading signals and cultural misunderstanding can, and does, occur in all mixed-culture relationships.

I should know - I've been married to a Thai man for 10 years and we still sometimes have to say "What the hell...?" - then let it go.

And back to the original question... good or bad? Well, difficult. I think, on average, much more difficult than with a farang male-Thai female relationship, because women in Thailand are often treated as the back legs of the donkey (or in Thai, the man's buffalo!) and women from a Western culture aren't going to put up with that. It usually comes from the in-laws rather than the husband, but even a lovely enlightened man will often display some irritating chauvanist tendencies! A Western man can get away with not learning the language, not adapting to the culture, and not lifting a finger to help with anything outside of his paid employment. A Western woman can't get away with these things - the community will tut and gossip and condemn the lazy farang. Again, it's more from other people than the husband himself.

As for men who actively cheat their Western wives - yes, it happens. But it's usually only the very young women that will be blind to that - and not for too long. In contrast, many men seem to get cheated (or used) again and again well into old age!

As an aside, a friend has recently married a Thai man and had a baby. She has gone back to work after a few months, as she earns quite good money. They opted for him to stay at home as the baby's carer, rather than him go out and earn the low wage that he could earn, and spend almost all of it on a nanny. People are trying to tell her that he's using her!

Actually the 'man's buffalo' is mainly meant as a smutty double entendre rather than as a pejorative.

There's a popular old country song with a refrain that translates to :

"If you leave your ears at the farm and your eyes at the paddy

You may end up without a buffalo with which to plough the field"

Nope, sorry, the phrase "A man is a person, a woman is a buffalo" is used to mean that, while both are necessary in plowing the field, it's the man who controls the buffalo... or the woman.

Touche - whenever that phrase or variations thereof come up in my circles (both men and women) the focus is invariably on 'ploughing the field' rather than the control bit.

Hey... long time lurker here myself!

Firstly, I am in a relationship with a Thai man and I can say, for the mostpart, it is really good. The hardest things for me at least are:

1. Trust issues based on rumours I've heard about Thai men and read online.

2. Cultural differences, and me finding it hard to adjust to Thai culture.

3. Language barrier (him speaking fairly good English, me speaking very basic Thai).

I think I big part of the problem for Western women who want a relationship with a Thai man IS the fact that so many people talk about the cheating. Yes, it is true a lot of Thai men cheat, however I have spoken to so many women who have become so paranoid that their boyfriend or spouse will cheat (SOLELY because of rumours), that it has ended up ruining a potentially amazing relationship with their own insecurities.

Recently I met a couple who had been together for 2 years. After speaking with both for less than 5 minutes her Thai partner went to the bathroom. Within seconds she launched into the conversation about how confused she was because of all the rumours about Thai men. But.. she told me she loved him, didn't think he would cheat and was just a bit worried. I can totally relate.

Now, I might add.. this girl was dating a tattoo artist from the Islands and I am dating a bar owner in a very heavily touristed area. How can I logically comment on the stability of our relationships based on all these rumours? I honestly think my boyfriend would never cheat on me and is a good, hard working, decent guy. Sometimes we just have to trust our gut.

Now.. on the other hand I have met bar boys in the past who have told me they love me and asked me to live with them.. after a few drinks at the bar!

I have also had a friend sleep with a bar boy who had other Thai girlfriends, and was hooking up with other Western girls (he was honest with my friend).

I have had male Thai friends of my boyfriend flirt with me to the extent I had to stop talking to them all together.

I have experienced my boyfriend treating me like a princess, cooking for me and never letting me pay for anything.

I have seen Thai boyfriends show so much love and affection and pride for their Western girlfriend.

OP I am not sure what sparked your curiosity in the first place, may I ask?

I don't know of too many countries on this planet where western women go to and try to pick up peasant farm guys. Do you? The dynamics of what a man and a woman wants are completely different.

Off topic now but

The Caribbean is quite a popular destination for western women seeking beach boys, also Indonesia.

The dynamic is there, just no quite so 'in yer face'. The national Post has quite a good story on it.

Women really aren't all that different to men in these days of sexual equality and equal opportunity.

Actually, I'm aware that these places exist. But compared to the female prostitution variety, it's tiny. I was mostly responding to the MG dude's rather asinine question. Surely he knows that female prostitution outnumbers male prostitution by a large, large margin. Does he know why men tend to buy sex more frequently than women the world over? If so, why ask such an idiotic question? If he doesn't know....then maybe he should reconsider expressing his opinion in a public forum.

( my bold ) I'm not sure this is entirely accurate. But I agree with the basis , men are happy to pay, women aren't. ( usually)