Thai Mum Sells Child Bride For B2,000

[theajarn]

Gobsmacked. I cannot comprehend this. I mean... woah. wait. You can't make this horse manure up!

[TackyToo]

Disgusting! Thai culture or just the need of money?

That's why they have a forum on a Thai newspaper titled: "Farrang cannot know "Thai-ness!!!"

[theajarn]

I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family..

Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style.

I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business.

My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it.

So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it.

What a sick world we live in.

Did you think of asking the girl how she thought about it, if not, you bloody well should have and if she was against it then you should have gone to the police. Just turning your back means that you are as bad as them and it should be haunting you.

Easier said than done when it's not your relationship or life on the line.

[Considered Opinion]

I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family..

Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style.

I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business.

My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it.

So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it.

What a sick world we live in.

Why do you live in Thailand if things that have been done for centuries, so revolt/concern/challenge you and your sensibilities?

To Considered Opinion - I guess on that basis we'd still have black slaves in the US, 10 year old boys working in the coal mines in the UK etc etc etc. It would be so if people hadn't sought to change things. OK we're not in a position to change these things in Thailand but Thaibreaker's entitled to have an opinion on this topic and if it upsets his morals then so be it. I certainly don't agree with 12 year girls being married off. Legalised prostitution/rape of a minor?

So are you saying every foreigner who resides in Thailand and who finds the rape of a 12 year offensive should p*ss off back to their country of birth?????????

Fear to express an opinion or turning the other way when something is wrong is definitely a guarantee that practice will continue unchallenged. If enough people express a genuine concern to the authorities then the wheel might slowly start to turn.

I think it quite important that if I use words you find hard to get your mind around, you ask what I meant rather than put your own spin on what I said. I neither said that, nor did I intend what I did say, to be taken to mean that. The fact is, that my partially argued point was discovered to be moot, because I had forgotten where I was in terms of the debate. When I come here I expect a lower order of response and am rarely if ever disappointed.

At no stage did I question Thaibreakers right to an opinion, I merely questioned the opinion. Often, we call this thing "debating". It is a new and fun thing. You should try it some time.

If his/your Thai wife were asked for her "actual" position, she would most likely, if Hi-So, say "Mai Penh Rai". Were she lo-so or bar/farm girl, she would on the other hand say "mai penh rai". The point I was making, had absolutely zip to do with the subject of the girl, but rather the need for know-it-all falang, to stick their long pointy noses in, as the poster I was responding to, was going to/planned to/thought about, and used as his imprimatur, his Thai wife, also feeling put off by the whole deal.

My point, for the challenged, was about trying to change a system that has been there for donkey's, based on your/his/western judgement of it's overall level of "goodness" in terms of the impact it has on the life of the Thai people.

Interesting to me how few of the respondents to this debate appear/reveal themselves, as Thai Nationals. Most of the "judges" are falang, who did not come here in general to study the culture, but rather came to get over the aforementioned 30 year fat/ugly marriage, and start again with someone a little younger, a little more open to the more "disgusting" parts of a 30 year marriage, and get their rocks off after 25 years in that marriage, and happily, in general, support the young wo/mans family "upcountry".

The question is not one of "morality", but rather one of a badly aligned belief in the "goodness" inherent in all things falang, juxtaposed with a spiralling out-of-control need to change what has always been, without so much as an instant of study either referenced from others, or undertaken oneself.

Change like that, comes from within the people themselves, much in the way of the 300 baht electorate, which one day, with growth/development/education among the people, not among the falang, will bring change. Educate the 64 million Thai Yed Thai voters about democracy, and the vote will not be for sale. Leave them as they are, selling the honour of their daughters for Song Pahn Baht, and a member of "The Family" will get away with murder - again. Education is the key...not Judgemental attitudes to their position in the time line of development.

[monkeycountry]

I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family..

Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style.

I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business.

My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it.

So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it.

What a sick world we live in.

Did you think of asking the girl how she thought about it, if not, you bloody well should have and if she was against it then you should have gone to the police. Just turning your back means that you are as bad as them and it should be haunting you.

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing

[GentlemanJim]

This particular case is tragic, but people need to jump off their high horses. This problem is not one that is exclusive to Thailand for those showing huge amounts of disgust and revolt. Take a look in your own back yard. Under age marriages are going on in the UK, and across Middle America, religious nut jobs are still marrying off their 12 year old daughters in to polygamous marriages and trailer parks are full of pre teenage girls being abused. This has been going on for 5 thousand years and as society as a whole has only decided it is repugnant in the last Century, then it is work in progress I am afraid, and will take another century to fix. Education, education, education! and if you don't educate your people then they don't see the problem with it. The Thais could help 'educate' the locals in this case by banging up the guy for statutory rape of a minor.

[monkeycountry]

I just realised what we have (mostly) missed.

He actually jumped her pre-nuptials. That changes everything. The bride price is about face saving so she won't be seen as a slut. also she will be difficult to get rid of as a bride when she is actually of age..

That actually makes him guilty of molestation and has nothing to do with the bride issue at all..

In my home country an adult having sex with a 13 year old is considered and prosecuted as rape regardless of whether the girl consents or not!

[Considered Opinion]

I just realised what we have (mostly) missed.

He actually jumped her pre-nuptials. That changes everything. The bride price is about face saving so she won't be seen as a slut. also she will be difficult to get rid of as a bride when she is actually of age..

That actually makes him guilty of molestation and has nothing to do with the bride issue at all..

No he didn't "jump her", nor was it molestation, she was sexually assaulted. For some reason you are using words trivialising the sexual assault, why is that? Sexual assault & child marriage are both offenses under Thai law. However, according to post #139 their are workarounds

Khor Thort Krub, I thought "sexual assault" and "molestation" were essentially the same thing.

[marcher]

sick bustard, 2000 baht for your daughters body,i know it happens in thailand but it never makes it right.

Sick, I agree, but selling your daughter is normal when at an older age, ie. A Farang has to pay his sin-sod to a Thai family for his wife. Rather more than B2000. Cost one of my friends B4m. One reason I did not get married here. On the other, hand back in the past, a dowry was paid by the daughter's family. A much better idea~

[DocN]

I really don't get it, guys!

Seriolusly?

"it happens all over the world, so ...why bother?"

"It is not that common!"

"It has been around for a loooong time, so...what's the big deal?"

Burning witches has been happening all over the world! We came to end it, because our brain and our knowledge evolved and we saw it as barbaric. It was very common, but we decided it was wrong! And it has been around for a loooooong time, but we learned from mistakes.

It happened HERE and we are HERE so we discuss what's going on HERE!

ManU defeated Liverpool last night...so if I want to discuss that, do I have to mention, that somewhere in the world, another team was defeated by another team as well? It doesn't only happen to Liverpool?

And "yes" it is common here and has been going on for long!

And?

That means it is okay?

"Oh those wonderful Thais, with their rich culture! Temples and spicy Thai- food ...and child- rape, domestic violence and beaches and underaged girls married to the highest bidder and then knocked - up and left. Oh, it is so wonderful around here!"

I really don't know, if I should be disgusted, outraged or just sad....

[Thai at Heart]

I think the most telling statement is that the thought they hadn't done anything wrong because others had done it too.

That in and of itself says it all.

[crazykopite]

Distgusting !!!!!!!!!

[GentlemanJim]

sick bustard, 2000 baht for your daughters body,i know it happens in thailand but it never makes it right.

Sick, I agree, but selling your daughter is normal when at an older age, ie. A Farang has to pay his sin-sod to a Thai family for his wife. Rather more than B2000. Cost one of my friends B4m. One reason I did not get married here. On the other, hand back in the past, a dowry was paid by the daughter's family. A much better idea~

The idea of sinsod was that it was paid and held in reserve by the parents, so that if the man did a runner or they got divorced, the daughter had some sort of security. My argument was that this concept is planning to fail, so I point blank refused to participate and just used the money to build a house (it offers the same security I guess but in a not so direct way). Most Thai parents now will take the money as a display for relatives on the day of the wedding and then hand it straight back afterwards for the couple to start their lives together. I know a couple who were desperately in love with each other, she was hiso and he was a middle class guy. They wanted to be married more than anything but eventually split as the girls parents wanted 250 million sinsod.....yes 250M. The guy never stood a chance, something the girls parents obviously calculated, and the girl was to scared to turn on her parents. There are <deleted> at both ends of the scale!

[monkeycountry]

I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family..

Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style.

I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business.

My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it.

So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it.

What a sick world we live in.

Did you think of asking the girl how she thought about it, if not, you bloody well should have and if she was against it then you should have gone to the police. Just turning your back means that you are as bad as them and it should be haunting you.

This is not as black and white as you put it, there are many things to consider for me here. Most important, I have a thai wife who can lose her contact with her whole family, so no, I haven`t asked the girl.

And don`t put the responsibility on me here, I feel that I did what I can do to a certain point. I brought it up and tried to reason with the parents. Not much more more I can do in this situation, without putting my wife in the line of fire.

There is a difference between can't and won't. As an example you can leave your wife and call the police. This way your wife will not lose her family, you will though, which is why I suspect and to some extend understand that you won't, but please do not say that you can't. Perhaps your wife should also reconsider the relationship with her family if saving a 12 year old girl from what I consider rape is seen as a bad thing!

Anyway, I understand the pressure you are under, but still hope you will do the right thing. Perhaps you can contact the Pavena Foundation from the article anonymously and let her deal with it

[Considered Opinion]

I really don't get it, guys!

Seriolusly?

"it happens all over the world, so ...why bother?"

"It is not that common!"

"It has been around for a loooong time, so...what's the big deal?"

Burning witches has been happening all over the world! We came to end it, because our brain and our knowledge evolved and we saw it as barbaric. It was very common, but we decided it was wrong! And it has been around for a loooooong time, but we learned from mistakes.

It happened HERE and we are HERE so we discuss what's going on HERE!

ManU defeated Liverpool last night...so if I want to discuss that, do I have to mention, that somewhere in the world, another team was defeated by another team as well? It doesn't only happen to Liverpool?

And "yes" it is common here and has been going on for long!

And?

That means it is okay?

"Oh those wonderful Thais, with their rich culture! Temples and spicy Thai- food ...and child- rape, domestic violence and beaches and underaged girls married to the highest bidder and then knocked - up and left. Oh, it is so wonderful around here!"

I really don't know, if I should be disgusted, outraged or just sad....

Or here?

[Considered Opinion]

sick bustard, 2000 baht for your daughters body,i know it happens in thailand but it never makes it right.

Sick, I agree, but selling your daughter is normal when at an older age, ie. A Farang has to pay his sin-sod to a Thai family for his wife. Rather more than B2000. Cost one of my friends B4m. One reason I did not get married here. On the other, hand back in the past, a dowry was paid by the daughter's family. A much better idea~

The idea of sinsod was that it was paid and held in reserve by the parents, so that if the man did a runner or they got divorced, the daughter had some sort of security. My argument was that this concept is planning to fail, so I point blank refused to participate and just used the money to build a house (it offers the same security I guess but in a not so direct way). Most Thai parents now will take the money as a display for relatives on the day of the wedding and then hand it straight back afterwards for the couple to start their lives together. I know a couple who were desperately in love with each other, she was hiso and he was a middle class guy. They wanted to be married more than anything but eventually split as the girls parents wanted 250 million sinsod.....yes 250M. The guy never stood a chance, something the girls parents obviously calculated, and the girl was to scared to turn on her parents. There are <deleted> at both ends of the scale!

OMG one wonders if she wouldn't turn on them because she would be dis-inherited? What's your view on that Jim?

[Toscano]

As a resident in Thailand for a number of years ; I fail to appreciate what Thai culture is , if there is any at all .

Old customs of a bygone age still prevail .

The mother must have been desparately poor to be so keen to get rid of her daughter , to accept only Bt2000 .

Thais are only greedy for money , even if they have enough or plenty .

My eldest sister-in-law was sold to a foreigner when she was 16 for I'm told Bt1,000,000 .

He took her to Bangkok ; she wouldn't go to bed at all and sat clutching her knees all the time .

After a week he took her back home to Isaan and asked for his money back . I'm not sure whether he was repaid .

Later she married a much older man , a Thai farmer ; I'm not sure that it's the happiest marriage .

They have two beautiful daughters , who have not been pressed to marry .

[cuddleypete]

sick

[monkeycountry]

I think the most telling statement is that the thought they hadn't done anything wrong because others had done it too.

That in and of itself says it all.

Agree - they can still vote at elections though, which is why I think everyone should be required to pass some sort of IQ test or similar before being allowed to vote.

[mickyboy]

Thought these kind of stories were an urban myth. Guess not.... :-( As well I think this story will have a

detrimental effect on the value of sin sod for bar girls. " But honey I just saw a sin sod of 2000 baht on Thai Visa. Why does your

family want one million baht? " I think Thai at Heart is correct, these people must be from another planet.

Who in the hell would sell their daughter?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

quite a lot people would if desrerate enough in india and africa this happen where life is cheap and people have nothing the only way is to sell sex to some guy look at these arab state where 50 year old men marry 12 year olds it not just thailand

[TackyToo]

This was on the TV news 2 or 3 days ago.

It was like these people were living on a different planet.

They are:

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call "The Thailight Zone".

[TackyToo]

I think the most telling statement is that the thought they hadn't done anything wrong because others had done it too.

That in and of itself says it all.

Agree - they can still vote at elections though, which is why I think everyone should be required to pass some sort of IQ test or similar before being allowed to vote.

Comes to mind: How about an IQ test before you are allowed to marry underaged girls???

[RigPig]

Before I begin this I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY THE RAPE OF A YOUNG GIRL. I do not agree with this it is mearly a point of view I have not seen here yet (only got to page 5).

The girl had been raped, she was therefore "spoiled goods" and the chances of her getting married would have been slim to none.

If the parents had the man procecuted and arrested he would not be able to marry the girl and make an "honest women" out of her, where she could still have some respect for herself and family.

The Sin Sod was just part of the pantomime being performed for everyone involved to keep "face". The marriage kept everything in a somewhat closed community "respectable".

Just a thought.......

[Considered Opinion]

What will happen to the scumbag whom forced himself on this little girl? He should pay with his life. Make an example and put a stop to whats happening to this innocent children.

If you plan to use grammatically challenging terms, at least have the decency to find out how. "Whom" is totally wrong in the context you are using it.

"What will happen to the little girl with whom this monster got off", is an example of the word used correctly, though, admittedly, quite stupidly. Just use "who" and all will be well.

Edited January 14, 2013 by Considered Opinion

[Humbugged]

I just realised what we have (mostly) missed.

He actually jumped her pre-nuptials. That changes everything. The bride price is about face saving so she won't be seen as a slut. also she will be difficult to get rid of as a bride when she is actually of age..

That actually makes him guilty of molestation and has nothing to do with the bride issue at all..

You're switched on hey..

[Considered Opinion]

Before I begin this I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY THE RAPE OF A YOUNG GIRL. I do not agree with this it is mearly a point of view I have not seen here yet (only got to page 5).

The girl had been raped, she was therefore "spoiled goods" and the chances of her getting married would have been slim to none.

If the parents had the man procecuted and arrested he would not be able to marry the girl and make an "honest women" out of her, where she could still have some respect for herself and family.

The Sin Sod was just part of the pantomime being performed for everyone involved to keep "face". The marriage kept everything in a somewhat closed community "respectable".

Just a thought.......

Not a bad precis of the whole deal. Well done. And for the less judgementally inclined, quite accurate.

[Humbugged]

Before I begin this I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY THE RAPE OF A YOUNG GIRL. I do not agree with this it is mearly a point of view I have not seen here yet (only got to page 5).

The girl had been raped, she was therefore "spoiled goods" and the chances of her getting married would have been slim to none.

If the parents had the man procecuted and arrested he would not be able to marry the girl and make an "honest women" out of her, where she could still have some respect for herself and family.

The Sin Sod was just part of the pantomime being performed for everyone involved to keep "face". The marriage kept everything in a somewhat closed community "respectable".

Just a thought.......

That you need to think of a way for them to make it ok is quite sad in itself.

[Considered Opinion]

I just realised what we have (mostly) missed.

He actually jumped her pre-nuptials. That changes everything. The bride price is about face saving so she won't be seen as a slut. also she will be difficult to get rid of as a bride when she is actually of age..

That actually makes him guilty of molestation and has nothing to do with the bride issue at all..

You're switched on hey..

Well done that kiwi... wave a flipper for us will you mate.

[Toscano]

My father-in-law was formerly village headman and is regarded as a village sage today .

He says that if a couple are already cohabiting , then there is no need for a marriage .

I never paid any bride price for my mature formerly married wife , who had two grown up children .

We married at a neighbouring Amphur government offices , with no family knowing or attending .

Two days later I sent a text to my son and my wife told her younger sister ; it was a week before she told her father , who was in disbelief .

I have rebuilt my wife's house , helped to build another house for her son and I have greatly improved her father's house .

Our son-in-law was asked to pay Bt300,000 ; but the money has gone towards building a house for them .

I find the monetary aspect of Thai weddings disgusting and embarrassing , displaying the gold and counting out the money .

[dressedingreen]

How interesting it is to observe the self righteousness that emerges from the average 'first world' expat on learning the world does not always adhere to their ideals of justice and goodness. Most 'back home' will have paid little attention to the International Day of the Child. For those who believe that Thailand is one of the FEW countries left on the planet where child brides are commonplace, more than 10 million girls are forced into intergenerational marriages, in over 50 countries, each year.

You may find this Daily Mail report enlightening ... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2216553/International-Day-Girl-Child-2012-Devastating-images-terrifying-world-child-brides.html

Simply playing 'ain't it awful' in here changes nothing.

DIG