How do most men define marriage?

A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Marriage is grand, divorce is about 10 grand.

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Husband to friend: Do you know what it means to me to go home to a really good meal in a clean and tidy home?

Friend: You've gone to the wrong house?

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- I've never forgotten the day I got married - and don't think I haven't tried hard!

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- The only thing my husband and I have in common is we got married on the same day!

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- Our marriage was a love match. plain and simple, she was plain and I was simple!

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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months--I don't like to interrupt her.

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A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life

thinking they had no faults at all.

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Why is marriage is like a violin? After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

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Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

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Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

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Marriage is a thing, which puts a ring on a woman's finger ... and two under the man's eyes.

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Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

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I never knew what real happiness was until I got married and by then, it was too late.

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Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)

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Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

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All marriages are happy - it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.

Marriage is grand, divorce is about 10 grand.

I'd argue the point with this one....

Saying "mai mee satang" and crying in my beer...

Why? How much did it cost you??