The Worst Type Of Falang And Thai....

[mjj]

mjj ... May I ask if you are entering a relationship in Thailand where you will be raising your gf's/wifes children who are not your biological children?

No, I am not. But I did have a girlfriend for over 2 years that had 2 children not by me, so I'm not blind to the strains it holds.

The 2 children still saw their father, I was always called by my name and although I was living with them I knew where the lines were drawn.

When going into that relationship I was very aware not to put the mother in a ' me or them' situation as I find that unfair and abhorrent.

[rene123]

Point is Thommo kids cant look after themselves. Young kids need their mum and dad, and cant understand why they have left them and unless their was no other choice, Its just wrong.

Says who?

You and your western victorian feminist morality, it's sure working out for the west ....... isn't it.

Millions of single mothers producing feral kids and a disintegrating society, better off with granny in a lot of cases, thinks I.

(Not that I would ever stick my nose into another families business)

Guess the OP is upset because he has little exposure to the real world at large.

Many upper classes and nouveau riche always had/have a nanny ....seen and not heard?

He does not know the story so assumes it is unfair, cruel etc...just maybe the kids are quite happy and are better off than being in a foreign country being babysat while mum and dad work?

Same situation with SIL for a few years ( yes I thought the same as OP and whinged to the wife)..then when the young daughter got to be a teenager, by request from BIL, wife and I got her a passport and and arranged visa...now she lives in Germany with mum and new dad....happy happy .......soo you don't know!

Hell!! me I have three frickin teenage step kids......AAAAAH!!!!

Off topic but what I find sad is the little kids out at 2am selling flowers on the street and in bars....

You dont know me or my upbringing. To say Ive had little exposure to the world is a wild guess at best.

Everyone keeps saying I dont know the full story. This is not the case. We know the family very well as Ive already said. We know the families and kids full story.

Im glad for you that you support 3 teenage step kids, good man.

Several of my friends back in Canada are in exactly this situation. Kids are smart and quickly learn how to play one parent against another and that is with their biological parents. They have even MORE ammunition when dealing with a surrogate parent. For example... "My REAL daddy would never do that to me."

[MrHammer]

<Young kids need their mum and dad>

millions of kids in the west grow up without a father, are you going to go home and start a crusade there?

I wish someone would. Children of single mothers have been proven time and time again to be more criminal, have more mental healthy issues, more likely to abuse drugs, less likely to get an education etc. But none of that matters in the public pc story of the brave heroine that is the single welfare mother. Personally, I consider it more child abuse to have a child grow up without a father and ever worse to grow up missing a father and have the mother badmouth him behind his back.

[krisb]

<Young kids need their mum and dad>

millions of kids in the west grow up without a father, are you going to go home and start a crusade there?

I wish someone would. Children of single mothers have been proven time and time again to be more criminal, have more mental healthy issues, more likely to abuse drugs, less likely to get an education etc. But none of that matters in the public pc story of the brave heroine that is the single welfare mother. Personally, I consider it more child abuse to have a child grow up without a father and ever worse to grow up missing a father and have the mother badmouth him behind his back.

Its nice to know some have similar thoughts as myself. Some choose to be quite heartless when they choose to look the other way, or mind their own business or even some call it not being a 'real man' for god sakes.

What would you do if you saw for example a man hitting a women? would you look the other way? mind your own business? or do something about it?

What would you do if you saw someone mistreating a child? still mind your own business? Sorry but I just cant. Its not me.

[mjj]

Anyone with a dick can have children, but it takes a real man to be a father.

[pattayadingo]

Seems to me that if you wish to be a social worker there are plenty of opportunities to go out there in the world and be one and get abused for the pleasure of sticking your nose in. Yes, yes, some social workers do a good job but many do not and are high handed in their approach, seeing themselves as Gods.

When many of us older people were kids our grandparents looked after us because both parents had to go out to work to earn a crust. Generally we lived in the same house. It was called family. Something generally sadly lacking in this day and age where it is me, me, me attitude.

Here in Thailand so many families are divided. It seems the husband / father walks out more often than not after the 2nd child is born. That used to happen in the west too until the laws were changed forcing absent fathers to pay for the upkeep of their children.

Finances play a big part of life here. Many mothers go away to work and do send money home. Some do not send money back and do go to live the high life - Isn't that same the world over, where we hear of mothers going on holiday and dumping the kids on someone else?

Family structure here has to be different. That is the way it is.

You (OP) are here for a couple of months a year and are told one story or one side of the story. Maybe the mother of these children saw a ray of opportunistic light beaming at her down the long dark tunnel and took the opportunity. Possibly her intentions were for the best and that has changed or maybe she still has good intentions and is working towards a better life for all her family. You cannot know what is in her head or what her intentions are.

Is the Norwegian (or any other foreigner in this situation) at fault?

You do not know what was discussed between him and his wife. So you cannot judge him.

I had one lady I was seeing and she told me she had no children. Said that the children at her and her parents home were her dead brothers children and she took care of them. That was a load of BS. When I discovered she'd had a caesarian and confronted her about it, only then did she admit the children were actually hers.

Judging people on what you are told is a dangerous game, especially here in Thailand where lies / white lies are commonplace to make the teller of these lies look better in the eyes of others - I am not saying your SO is lying but she may also not be hearing the truth, the whole truth etc., either.

If the children are abandoned to be cared for by the grandparents it is possible that is for the best and you do say they are being well looked after. Who are you and we to judge on these matters?

[LarryBird]

Dude, no one's saying kids being neglected is a good thing, it's just that you really have no idea of all the details of the situation, and you're passing judgment on this farang guy, you know nothing about..

[cgphuket]

Just to add, their Thai dad has already walked out on them. Hes long gone.

That is a given. Thai men have the parental responsibility of a soi dog.

[HeavyDrinker]

Everyone keeps saying I dont know the full story. This is not the case. We know the family very well as Ive already said. We know the families and kids full story.

You don't know the full story. You've stated this clearly already!

You've never met this bloke you're passing judgement on.

Sadly you're fitting right in with the Thai Visa "shoot first, find out the truth later" mindset.

My wife wonders why I don't hang out with expats too much these days....well you're a prime example of why I don't...

[farangme]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

Real men tell their women how much baggage they can bring with them, and the size of the suitcase they can pack it in.

Real men tell their women to dump their kids? Sorry bud. Any guy that does this is not a real man. He's a selfish nub who should keep walking.

[mancub]

So , having read through this...I don't know what to conclude .....

The OP declares a man he's never met as ...the worst kind of Falang, and "likes" post #85 where Muythai2013 offers the opinion that the wife is

"clearly not worthy of having children "

yet the OP is angry that the children are not in the custody of these people !!!!

[HeavyDrinker]

So , having read through this...I don't know what to conclude .....

The OP declares a man he's never met as ...the worst kind of Falang, and "likes" post #85 where Muythai2013 offers the opinion that the wife is

"clearly not worthy of having children "

yet the OP is angry that the children are not in the custody of these people !!!!

Welcome to Thaivisa! Where you are judged on any spurious claim....

[krisb]

So , having read through this...I don't know what to conclude .....

The OP declares a man he's never met as ...the worst kind of Falang, and "likes" post #85 where Muythai2013 offers the opinion that the wife is

"clearly not worthy of having children "

yet the OP is angry that the children are not in the custody of these people !!!!

Have you ever seen anyone on the news and thought that has gotta be a complete scumbag, without ever having met the person? I know the family well enough and know the mother of which she is just as much to blame as her man. Pair of idiots. I have also read posts here saying the kids are probably better off with the grandma who is a lovely lady and perhaps that is the option for the 2 kids. End of the day the mother is just a piece of crap leaving the kids with grandma and not planning on taking her own kids with her and far as Im concerned the Norway guy is just as bad.

I could never plan to move away from my own kids at such a young age. If I was going, its without thought they would be coming with me. I couldnt comprehend leaving them behind. If my partner was accepting my decision to leave my kids, then I would question their sanity and maturity also.

In summary, the pair of them are probably emotionally unstable, unfit parents and deserve each other. Crap attracts crap. Norway probably should have declined her visa app. I feel sorry for all their family.

[HeavyDrinker]

So , having read through this...I don't know what to conclude .....

The OP declares a man he's never met as ...the worst kind of Falang, and "likes" post #85 where Muythai2013 offers the opinion that the wife is

"clearly not worthy of having children "

yet the OP is angry that the children are not in the custody of these people !!!!

Have you ever seen anyone on the news and thought that has gotta be a complete scumbag, without ever having met the person? I know the family well enough and know the mother of which she is just as much to blame as her man. Pair of idiots. I have also read posts here saying the kids are probably better off with the grandma who is a lovely lady and perhaps that is the option for the 2 kids. End of the day the mother is just a piece of crap leaving the kids with grandma and not planning on taking her own kids with her and far as Im concerned the Norway guy is just as bad.

I could never plan to move away from my own kids at such a young age. If I was going, its without thought they would be coming with me. I couldnt comprehend leaving them behind. If my partner was accepting my decision to leave my kids, then I would question their sanity and maturity also.

In summary, the pair of them are probably emotionally unstable, unfit parents and deserve each other. Crap attracts crap. Norway probably should have declined her visa app. I feel sorry for all their family.

Thanks for confirming you have just made it all up as you go along and have zero facts to back up your ridiculous claims.

[krisb]

So , having read through this...I don't know what to conclude .....

The OP declares a man he's never met as ...the worst kind of Falang, and "likes" post #85 where Muythai2013 offers the opinion that the wife is

"clearly not worthy of having children "

yet the OP is angry that the children are not in the custody of these people !!!!

Have you ever seen anyone on the news and thought that has gotta be a complete scumbag, without ever having met the person? I know the family well enough and know the mother of which she is just as much to blame as her man. Pair of idiots. I have also read posts here saying the kids are probably better off with the grandma who is a lovely lady and perhaps that is the option for the 2 kids. End of the day the mother is just a piece of crap leaving the kids with grandma and not planning on taking her own kids with her and far as Im concerned the Norway guy is just as bad.

I could never plan to move away from my own kids at such a young age. If I was going, its without thought they would be coming with me. I couldnt comprehend leaving them behind. If my partner was accepting my decision to leave my kids, then I would question their sanity and maturity also.

In summary, the pair of them are probably emotionally unstable, unfit parents and deserve each other. Crap attracts crap. Norway probably should have declined her visa app. I feel sorry for all their family.

Thanks for confirming you have just made it all up as you go along and have zero facts to back up your ridiculous claims.

Why do people keep saying I have no facts? What do you not understand? Do you have trouble reading English?

[krisb]

Haha everyone I just made this whole story up like heavydrinker says. He knows me and knows I just made the whole thing up. Heavydrinker knows all hes the all seeing oracle.

Hale heavydrinker everyone. With a name like that, you gotta wonder you probably fit the description of the worst type of falang in my op.

Edited January 19, 2013 by krisb

[HeavyDrinker]

You have no facts because you have no facts. You've admitted you don't even know this man nor his wife and are merely going off gossip.

Only a buffoon makes a judgement based on gossip. You have made your judgement off gossip; ergo....

[thaibeachlovers]

I would consider 'the worst sort of white foreigner' (racial slur altered) to be the ones that come to live in a foreign country then proceed to tell who they perceive to be 'ignorant natives' how they should conduct their lives.

Tell others how to live their life like yourself is now doing?

Gee Ive really hit a nerve with you havnt I. Does this story sound familiar? is that it?

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all. Is that not the case in your book? Its called having morals and ethics. Its got nothing to do with minding my own business, it was my thoughts on an observation on a family I know quite well and my wife has know for over 25 years, and if thats the case why are you here reading a forum about others thoughts and not off minding your own business?

Practice what you preach champ.

<you should want the best for them all>

Why? They aren't his kids, and apparently he's not interested in looking after them ( as I would be in his situation ).

Why should kids not the OP's own be his responsibility and what's wrong with sending them to live with their father, if granny didn't want them?

This is up to the mother- if she doesn't want to live without the kids, she can refuse to marry him and move overseas with him. No, she can scrape by on a Thai wage and hope that someone more willing to care for some other man's children will marry her. Looks like she made her choice anyway. It's not anyone else's business.

BTW, are you also critical of the thousands of Philipina women that leave their children behind with granny so that they can work overseas. I knew many in Saudi and London that did that.

Edited January 19, 2013 by thaibeachlovers

[473geo]

Is it a simple uncomplicated process to take the children of another man to Norway? any of the 'judges' here know? Given the opinions voiced by the OP there would appear to be little chance of adoption based on his comments regarding the 'parents'. Perhaps better not to raise then dash the hopes of the children, that would be really cruel.

Edited January 19, 2013 by 473geo

[krisb]

You have no facts because you have no facts. You've admitted you don't even know this man nor his wife and are merely going off gossip.

Only a buffoon makes a judgement based on gossip. You have made your judgement off gossip; ergo....

For the love of god, how many times must I say I know the whole family well. I speak plenty of Issan to talk and understand. I have known the family for a long time my wife has known them since they were kids.

Unlike YOU, I have the facts. Please dont call me a buffoon, or you will be sent to your room.

[krisb]

I would consider 'the worst sort of white foreigner' (racial slur altered) to be the ones that come to live in a foreign country then proceed to tell who they perceive to be 'ignorant natives' how they should conduct their lives.

Tell others how to live their life like yourself is now doing?

Gee Ive really hit a nerve with you havnt I. Does this story sound familiar? is that it?

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all. Is that not the case in your book? Its called having morals and ethics. Its got nothing to do with minding my own business, it was my thoughts on an observation on a family I know quite well and my wife has know for over 25 years, and if thats the case why are you here reading a forum about others thoughts and not off minding your own business?

Practice what you preach champ.

<you should want the best for them all>

Why? They aren't his kids, and apparently he's not interested in looking after them ( as I would be in his situation ).

Why should kids not the OP's own be his responsibility and what's wrong with sending them to live with their father, if granny didn't want them?

This is up to the mother- if she doesn't want to live without the kids, she can refuse to marry him and move overseas with him. No, she can scrape by on a Thai wage and hope that someone more willing to care for some other man's children will marry her. Looks like she made her choice anyway. It's not anyone else's business.

Why do people keep saying 'scrape' by on a Thai wage?. Thais have been scraping by forever just fine, like most of us do around the world

[HeavyDrinker]

You clearly DON'T have the facts. You've admitted as much. You know neither the man or woman involved in your claims.

Maybe you should use your language skills in tracking down the REAL father of the kids and maybe remind him of his responsibilities. I'd pay money to see you do that....

[krisb]

You clearly DON'T have the facts. You've admitted as much. You know neither the man or woman involved in your claims.

Maybe you should use your language skills in tracking down the REAL father of the kids and maybe remind him of his responsibilities. I'd pay money to see you do that....

Dont tell anyone, I made this whole story up. Haha, had you all fooled.

[Will27]

OP

I hope your "Issan" is better than your English.

Get yourself a dictionary and look up the difference

between fact and hearsay

Edited January 19, 2013 by Will27

[thaibeachlovers]

<Young kids need their mum and dad>

millions of kids in the west grow up without a father, are you going to go home and start a crusade there?

I wish someone would. Children of single mothers have been proven time and time again to be more criminal, have more mental healthy issues, more likely to abuse drugs, less likely to get an education etc. But none of that matters in the public pc story of the brave heroine that is the single welfare mother. Personally, I consider it more child abuse to have a child grow up without a father and ever worse to grow up missing a father and have the mother badmouth him behind his back.

Its nice to know some have similar thoughts as myself. Some choose to be quite heartless when they choose to look the other way, or mind their own business or even some call it not being a 'real man' for god sakes.

What would you do if you saw for example a man hitting a women? would you look the other way? mind your own business? or do something about it?

What would you do if you saw someone mistreating a child? still mind your own business? Sorry but I just cant. Its not me.

In Thailand I can't think of a better way to get smashed than interfere with a Thai doing anything like that. One of those Muay Thai guys could take me with both hands tied behind his back.

However, when I saw a Thai woman beating up a farang guy, I did tell the cops that I saw, and they went to rescue him.

<What would you do if you saw someone mistreating a child?>

I have often seen very young children being used by their ( present ) parents to beg for money in tourist areas in the early hours of the morning. IMO this is child abuse. However it goes on in full view of Thai police and in Pattaya in the presence of farang police volunteers, none of whom do anything to "rescue" the children. What would you do? report it to the police? Take the children away? What?

BTW, haven't you "closed" this thread several times?

[thaibeachlovers]

I would consider 'the worst sort of white foreigner' (racial slur altered) to be the ones that come to live in a foreign country then proceed to tell who they perceive to be 'ignorant natives' how they should conduct their lives.

Tell others how to live their life like yourself is now doing?

Gee Ive really hit a nerve with you havnt I. Does this story sound familiar? is that it?

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all. Is that not the case in your book? Its called having morals and ethics. Its got nothing to do with minding my own business, it was my thoughts on an observation on a family I know quite well and my wife has know for over 25 years, and if thats the case why are you here reading a forum about others thoughts and not off minding your own business?

Practice what you preach champ.

<you should want the best for them all>

Why? They aren't his kids, and apparently he's not interested in looking after them ( as I would be in his situation ).

Why should kids not the OP's own be his responsibility and what's wrong with sending them to live with their father, if granny didn't want them?

This is up to the mother- if she doesn't want to live without the kids, she can refuse to marry him and move overseas with him. No, she can scrape by on a Thai wage and hope that someone more willing to care for some other man's children will marry her. Looks like she made her choice anyway. It's not anyone else's business.

Why do people keep saying 'scrape' by on a Thai wage?. Thais have been scraping by forever just fine, like most of us do around the world

Are you serious. Are you saying 300 ( or less ) baht is a decent wage? They might get by, but they aren't "just fine" on it. My inlaws make more than that, but they live in a hovel ( literally ). Oh oh, I suppose it is MY responsibility to build them a mansion!

[HeavyDrinker]

You clearly DON'T have the facts. You've admitted as much. You know neither the man or woman involved in your claims.

Maybe you should use your language skills in tracking down the REAL father of the kids and maybe remind him of his responsibilities. I'd pay money to see you do that....

Dont tell anyone, I made this whole story up. Haha, had you all fooled.

I think only one person was made to look a fool on this thread....

[TommoPhysicist]

Are you serious. Are you saying 300 ( or less ) baht is a decent wage? They might get by, but they aren't "just fine" on it. My inlaws make more than that, but they live in a hovel ( literally ). Oh oh, I suppose it is MY responsibility to build them a mansion!

300bht a day, is a really good wage for people living in their own houses in a village.

Maybe a bit harder if living in a big city like CM, but if both parents were working that would be 18kbht a month.

Plenty of people living well on that much.

[manly100]

bloke at the bar told me never get into a relationship with a girl with children from another relationship, never get into a relationship with a girl with tattoos, never get into a relationship with a girl who needs regular payments to mama/papa, and never get into a relationship where the girl only looks like a girl. Try doing the opposite of all that and let us know about your wonderful perfect life.

And take another mans kids to norway and get to work providing the perfect life for them? it's a dream.

[thaibeachlovers]

Are you serious. Are you saying 300 ( or less ) baht is a decent wage? They might get by, but they aren't "just fine" on it. My inlaws make more than that, but they live in a hovel ( literally ). Oh oh, I suppose it is MY responsibility to build them a mansion!

300bht a day, is a really good wage for people living in their own houses in a village.

Maybe a bit harder if living in a big city like CM, but if both parents were working that would be 18kbht a month.

Plenty of people living well on that much.

Not disagreeing about a couple living in their own house in a village with an extended family, but this thread is about a single woman with children and having to raise them herself, which would be her situation if she hadn't gone to Norway. I'm assuming granny doesn't work for money, or if she's like my MIL earns pocket money by hand weaving Thai silk cloth etc.

It's obviously not an easy life, or the bars in tourist areas like Pattaya would have very few staff.