Help With Dating A Thai Lady

[rene123]

Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

This will be the majority of men who have worked all their life and been decent honest folk, some might like a drink but on the whole are ok.

Whereas the girls on the other hand have the Thai trait of being manipulative, dishonest and marrying someone purely to climb the financial ladder.

Keep away from Thai women, mother of my child has just ran off from our 2 year old daughter, responsibility and facing ones troubles is too big an ask for lots of these people ... i don't think she was a hooker, but she's from the village where they all come from and thinks the same.

Thai culture my backside, most Thais are one or 2 generations away from being subsistence farmers living like we in the west did 500 years ago, it'll take that long to civilise them.

I am very sorry to hear this, truly saddening.

I`m in my late 50s now, almost reaching the big 60. Have been married to my Thai wife for a long time. She could never leave me now because we are about the same age and she relies on my pensions and financial support and not easy, probably impossible for a woman in her mid 50s to start her life all over again and once you reach my age or older, one gets beyond caring anyway.

But if I was much younger in these modern times, there is no way I would ever consider getting married, not in the East, West, South or North. Times have changed, the woman`s ambitions and attitudes towards commitments are totally different and those types of relationships would not suit me. There probably are those on here who can claim they have the perfect marriage and good luck to you, but it`s all too hit and miss. None of my kids want to become involved with anyone, they are all too concerned about making careers for themselves and I`m glad of it. Just being sensible, that`s all.

My advice to the OP is; stay single, love em and leave em, short time with no commitments and no heartaches is better.

I hate to admit it, but I agree with Beetlejuice on this reply. The only reason I can see for being married is to raise and love children. Other than that it's too much of a commitment and gamble when things are more likely to go wrong than to go right. I was never blessed with children because my ex husband never told me he had been "fixed" and didn't want children. As it turned out that was a lucky break for me. I see far too many young Thai women who have left their unwanted child with their mother while they go off to the city to work. They only return to see their child every 3 months or so... if that. Raising children takes commitment and a lot of work and money. It's not for everyone and yet people breed like rabbits and have no plans for how to raise them. Women and men are too different in their wants and interests. Throw in an entirely different cuture and different language and you have a recipe for disaster.

[aTomsLife]

Beetlejuice, on 11 Mar 2013 - 01:32, said:

Many Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West. The good old days of the loyal, subservient oriental princesses have long gone. Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

Their first priority is what has the farang got to offer their cherished daughter, her family and the village. Can he provide a secure future for the girl? This is the same way of thinking in the West; only perhaps you can disregard the family and village in those cases.

If you are really interested in forming a permanent relationship with this Thai girl, then you will have to prove your sincerity and worth, no ifs, buts or maybes or doubts left in the mind of the girl and her family. Perhaps this is why you believe her feelings are messed up, but actually it maybe you who is giving the girl doubts?

The main questions: are you able to comfortably take on a dependent wife? Support her 100% and provide a decent lifestyle for her? Because if you decide to go ahead and take her back to your own country, than you, at least for the first few years, will have support and provide for her 100%, plus considering if she wants to start a family and have kids.

Otherwise if you are not an established person, than I would be having second thoughts about diving into something that has no chance of succeeding.

You're of course entitled to your opinion, and if you wouldn't marry a modern woman who am I to challenge you on that point. But for my part, I'd never marry a subservient woman -- I'd be bored to tears, and frankly it's not good for the soul to always get one's way. And it's especially not good for one's personality. Despite popular belief, it's not just children that can become spoiled brats (perhaps that's why so many posters here find it impossible to ever admit they're wrong).

Loyalty on the other hand, well we all want that, and yes perhaps it's in shorter supply these days. I can't say one way or the other, since it's all anecdotal anyway.

As for the Thai family who hopes their daughter finds a 'nice Thai boy', I wish them good luck -- they'll need it, as the nice one's have plenty of options. I'm not intimidated by this in the least, because two can and should play at that. If I'm marrying into a Thai family, you can bet I'll be quite discerning myself. And furthermore, the woman in question will have had to prove her sincerity and worth to me as well.

You seem very biased in favor of what's best for the Thai. You even asked the OP if perhaps HE'S the one giving HER doubts: I should hope he is! The woman is already in a relationship. Why should he be 100% committed to a person like that? She'd rightly think he was a doormat.

Overall, I'm a bit taken-aback you feel the way you do. Happiness can still be found between men and women in general, and westerners and Thais specifically; but unlike the past when the man ruled absolutely, things are more balanced now. If the idea of that intimidates you, that's really too bad, especially given your predilection for offering younger men advice on the topic: that they should give up the idea of having the kind of happiness you've got to enjoy. Thanks but no thanks. Life is short, I'll take my chances with love, and I advise anyone reading to do the same.

Edited March 11, 2013 by aTomsLife

[rct99q]

From her perspective you probably smell better then the French guy...for one.

To be serious, do not commit to her other than as a friend. You have a valuable resource here which can be a huge benefit. Many people would have loved to had some inside information when dealing with the women in Thailand.

1. Do not give her any money

2. Establish a friendship, the worst thing that could happen is you get a lifelong friend

3. Start picking her brains as far as her thought process in the Thai dating circles

4. If you get "friend benefit" out of it now and then, bonus

5. Keep looking, stay out of the bars, if you speak Thai excellent. Start looking for women in banks, veterinary clinics (get a dog they are cheap here), Universities, local charity organizations.

6. Also as one poster stated most of the people on this forum are older than your parents so maybe ask them anyway.

(is your mom or your dad Thai. If it is your mom ask her how your dad met her)

Good luck, just like in your home country, you have to be selective and take your time.

[WonnabeBiker]

Well, I believe it will be up to you to sweep her off her feet.

She doesn't know you that well - OTOH, the French guy is clearly n o t

going to propose - - ever.

I would try to show her that you care on a deep level.

Good luck!

[Berkshire]

Apart from thats she is wrong to go out with since her feelings are messed up, what is the "Thai way". Do reletionships start with a long term friendship, here ind Thailand?

I hate to tell you, but there is a huge difference between Thai women who date farangs, and regular Thai women (who incidentally make up the vast majority of Thai women in Thailand). For example, Thai women who date farangs seem to have a propensity to date more than one at a time. Clearly, this is your situation. Why do they do that? Could be hedging their bets. Or less chance of getting caught. Or even if caught, minor consequences. Or maybe it's all about money with these girls and they're just going for the highest bidder. Who knows.

You want a good Thai girl? Learn to speak Thai and stay away from farang-hunters.

[MissFarmGirl]

hummm, this difficult to explain to you

first, her thinking

she just lonely and maybe want to have friend
maybe want man come take care her

not about the money

just make her feel warm

for you, you love this woman, yes?

I understand, Thai woman easy to love

but …

take your heart because maybe for her, French man still #1

what can you do?

you can try some more, but not press or push her

but you must have limit for how long to try

how long for waiting her

if not success this woman then don’t close your heart to Thailand

you are half Thai, don’t forget this

have many nice Thai woman here you can meet

good Luck and my number is **** ********... joking 5555

[notmyself]

She also answered yes when you asked if she had a boyfriend.

Call me old fashioned but I have never considered it wise to step on another man's lunch.

[VanDaGo]

Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

This will be the majority of men who have worked all their life and been decent honest folk, some might like a drink but on the whole are ok.

Whereas the girls on the other hand have the Thai trait of being manipulative, dishonest and marrying someone purely to climb the financial ladder.

Keep away from Thai women, mother of my child has just ran off from our 2 year old daughter, responsibility and facing ones troubles is too big an ask for lots of these people ... i don't think she was a hooker, but she's from the village where they all come from and thinks the same.

Thai culture my backside, most Thais are one or 2 generations away from being subsistence farmers living like we in the west did 500 years ago, it'll take that long to civilise them.

I am very sorry to hear this, truly saddening.

I`m in my late 50s now, almost reaching the big 60. Have been married to my Thai wife for a long time. She could never leave me now because we are about the same age and she relies on my pensions and financial support and not easy, probably impossible for a woman in her mid 50s to start her life all over again and once you reach my age or older, one gets beyond caring anyway.

But if I was much younger in these modern times, there is no way I would ever consider getting married, not in the East, West, South or North. Times have changed, the woman`s ambitions and attitudes towards commitments are totally different and those types of relationships would not suit me. There probably are those on here who can claim they have the perfect marriage and good luck to you, but it`s all too hit and miss. None of my kids want to become involved with anyone, they are all too concerned about making careers for themselves and I`m glad of it. Just being sensible, that`s all.

My advice to the OP is; stay single, love em and leave em, short time with no commitments and no heartaches is better.

Sad but true, but as more people think like this though the population keeps rising thus more kids from broken homes.

It is sad.

[VanDaGo]

She also answered yes when you asked if she had a boyfriend.

Call me old fashioned but I have never considered it wise to step on another man's lunch.

I agree with you. But my first impression is it was over. They had a break or what one call it. And they would se what happened from there. But I dont quite understand this break thing.

[VanDaGo]

hummm, this difficult to explain to you

first, her thinking

she just lonely and maybe want to have friend

maybe want man come take care her

not about the money

just make her feel warm

for you, you love this woman, yes?

I understand, Thai woman easy to love

but …

take your heart because maybe for her, French man still #1

what can you do?

you can try some more, but not press or push her

but you must have limit for how long to try

how long for waiting her

if not success this woman then don’t close your heart to Thailand

you are half Thai, don’t forget this

have many nice Thai woman here you can meet

good Luck and my number is **** ********... joking 5555

Thank you for your kind response. I am half Thai and very proud of it. :-) I would for sure take your advice into concideration. Have a nice day.

I tried your number, it does not work. :-)

[VanDaGo]

Apart from thats she is wrong to go out with since her feelings are messed up, what is the "Thai way". Do reletionships start with a long term friendship, here ind Thailand?

I hate to tell you, but there is a huge difference between Thai women who date farangs, and regular Thai women (who incidentally make up the vast majority of Thai women in Thailand). For example, Thai women who date farangs seem to have a propensity to date more than one at a time. Clearly, this is your situation. Why do they do that? Could be hedging their bets. Or less chance of getting caught. Or even if caught, minor consequences. Or maybe it's all about money with these girls and they're just going for the highest bidder. Who knows.

You want a good Thai girl? Learn to speak Thai and stay away from farang-hunters.

I wish it was not like this.

[VanDaGo]

Apart from thats she is wrong to go out with since her feelings are messed up, what is the "Thai way". Do reletionships start with a long term friendship, here ind Thailand?

I hate to tell you, but there is a huge difference between Thai women who date farangs, and regular Thai women (who incidentally make up the vast majority of Thai women in Thailand). For example, Thai women who date farangs seem to have a propensity to date more than one at a time. Clearly, this is your situation. Why do they do that? Could be hedging their bets. Or less chance of getting caught. Or even if caught, minor consequences. Or maybe it's all about money with these girls and they're just going for the highest bidder. Who knows.

You want a good Thai girl? Learn to speak Thai and stay away from farang-hunters.

On my to do list. I speak some thai. But need to learn to read and write.

[VanDaGo]

Thank you to all for your response, help and advice. Have a great day all I am on my way back to DK.

[Thailand1977]

Apart from thats she is wrong to go out with since her feelings are messed up, what is the "Thai way". Do reletionships start with a long term friendship, here ind Thailand?

I hate to tell you, but there is a huge difference between Thai women who date farangs, and regular Thai women (who incidentally make up the vast majority of Thai women in Thailand). For example, Thai women who date farangs seem to have a propensity to date more than one at a time. Clearly, this is your situation. Why do they do that? Could be hedging their bets. Or less chance of getting caught. Or even if caught, minor consequences. Or maybe it's all about money with these girls and they're just going for the highest bidder. Who knows.

You want a good Thai girl? Learn to speak Thai and stay away from farang-hunters.

I dont see much difference between the bar girls and so called good girls, they were brought up in the same towns and villages, went to the same schools and were doctrinated with the same teachings, were friends as kids, Have parents with similar morals and ideals etc etc...

Edited March 11, 2013 by Thailand1977

[Beetlejuice]

Beetlejuice, on 11 Mar 2013 - 01:32, said:

Many Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West. The good old days of the loyal, subservient oriental princesses have long gone. Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

Their first priority is what has the farang got to offer their cherished daughter, her family and the village. Can he provide a secure future for the girl? This is the same way of thinking in the West; only perhaps you can disregard the family and village in those cases.

If you are really interested in forming a permanent relationship with this Thai girl, then you will have to prove your sincerity and worth, no ifs, buts or maybes or doubts left in the mind of the girl and her family. Perhaps this is why you believe her feelings are messed up, but actually it maybe you who is giving the girl doubts?

The main questions: are you able to comfortably take on a dependent wife? Support her 100% and provide a decent lifestyle for her? Because if you decide to go ahead and take her back to your own country, than you, at least for the first few years, will have support and provide for her 100%, plus considering if she wants to start a family and have kids.

Otherwise if you are not an established person, than I would be having second thoughts about diving into something that has no chance of succeeding.

You're of course entitled to your opinion, and if you wouldn't marry a modern woman who am I to challenge you on that point. But for my part, I'd never marry a subservient woman -- I'd be bored to tears, and frankly it's not good for the soul to always get one's way. And it's especially not good for one's personality. Despite popular belief, it's not just children that can become spoiled brats (perhaps that's why so many posters here find it impossible to ever admit they're wrong).

Loyalty on the other hand, well we all want that, and yes perhaps it's in shorter supply these days. I can't say one way or the other, since it's all anecdotal anyway.

As for the Thai family who hopes their daughter finds a 'nice Thai boy', I wish them good luck -- they'll need it, as the nice one's have plenty of options. I'm not intimidated by this in the least, because two can and should play at that. If I'm marrying into a Thai family, you can bet I'll be quite discerning myself. And furthermore, the woman in question will have had to prove her sincerity and worth to me as well.

You seem very biased in favor of what's best for the Thai. You even asked the OP if perhaps HE'S the one giving HER doubts: I should hope he is! The woman is already in a relationship. Why should he be 100% committed to a person like that? She'd rightly think he was a doormat.

Overall, I'm a bit taken-aback you feel the way you do. Happiness can still be found between men and women in general, and westerners and Thais specifically; but unlike the past when the man ruled absolutely, things are more balanced now. If the idea of that intimidates you, that's really too bad, especially given your predilection for offering younger men advice on the topic: that they should give up the idea of having the kind of happiness you've got to enjoy. Thanks but no thanks. Life is short, I'll take my chances with love, and I advise anyone reading to do the same.

Quite right, I am entitled to my opinion and this is exactly what is it. Not saying I`m right, as everyone has their own points of view.

During my lifetime I have personally witnessed and read about so much heartbreak going on, that now even my kids, all in they`re 20s, agree marriage is no longer a viable proposition and not worth the hassle.

Everything has become much more commercialized and many women consider the materialistic values as a main priority regarding a relationship. Again I say; I am not intentionally demeaning women, this has come about because of the more commercial and modern attitudes of the societies we live in, where sometimes business comes before pleasure, even between married partners and courting couples.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods.

All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in they’re 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their new found wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up murdered.

It`s down to how every individual wishes to play the game of life, and as I have said many times in the past, I`m not really cut out for the modern world, but my previous posts still stand. It`s up to you and the best of British luck.

[lovelaos]

Beetlejuice, on 11 Mar 2013 - 01:32, said:

Many Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West. The good old days of the loyal, subservient oriental princesses have long gone. Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

Their first priority is what has the farang got to offer their cherished daughter, her family and the village. Can he provide a secure future for the girl? This is the same way of thinking in the West; only perhaps you can disregard the family and village in those cases.

If you are really interested in forming a permanent relationship with this Thai girl, then you will have to prove your sincerity and worth, no ifs, buts or maybes or doubts left in the mind of the girl and her family. Perhaps this is why you believe her feelings are messed up, but actually it maybe you who is giving the girl doubts?

The main questions: are you able to comfortably take on a dependent wife? Support her 100% and provide a decent lifestyle for her? Because if you decide to go ahead and take her back to your own country, than you, at least for the first few years, will have support and provide for her 100%, plus considering if she wants to start a family and have kids.

Otherwise if you are not an established person, than I would be having second thoughts about diving into something that has no chance of succeeding.

You're of course entitled to your opinion, and if you wouldn't marry a modern woman who am I to challenge you on that point. But for my part, I'd never marry a subservient woman -- I'd be bored to tears, and frankly it's not good for the soul to always get one's way. And it's especially not good for one's personality. Despite popular belief, it's not just children that can become spoiled brats (perhaps that's why so many posters here find it impossible to ever admit they're wrong).

Loyalty on the other hand, well we all want that, and yes perhaps it's in shorter supply these days. I can't say one way or the other, since it's all anecdotal anyway.

As for the Thai family who hopes their daughter finds a 'nice Thai boy', I wish them good luck -- they'll need it, as the nice one's have plenty of options. I'm not intimidated by this in the least, because two can and should play at that. If I'm marrying into a Thai family, you can bet I'll be quite discerning myself. And furthermore, the woman in question will have had to prove her sincerity and worth to me as well.

You seem very biased in favor of what's best for the Thai. You even asked the OP if perhaps HE'S the one giving HER doubts: I should hope he is! The woman is already in a relationship. Why should he be 100% committed to a person like that? She'd rightly think he was a doormat.

Overall, I'm a bit taken-aback you feel the way you do. Happiness can still be found between men and women in general, and westerners and Thais specifically; but unlike the past when the man ruled absolutely, things are more balanced now. If the idea of that intimidates you, that's really too bad, especially given your predilection for offering younger men advice on the topic: that they should give up the idea of having the kind of happiness you've got to enjoy. Thanks but no thanks. Life is short, I'll take my chances with love, and I advise anyone reading to do the same.

Quite right, I am entitled to my opinion and this is exactly what is it. Not saying I`m right, as everyone has their own points of view.

During my lifetime I have personally witnessed and read about so much heartbreak going on, that now even my kids, all in they`re 20s, agree marriage is no longer a viable proposition and not worth the hassle.

Everything has become much more commercialized and many women consider the materialistic values as a main priority regarding a relationship. Again I say; I am not intentionally demeaning women, this has come about because of the more commercial and modern attitudes of the societies we live in, where sometimes business comes before pleasure, even between married partners and courting couples.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods.

All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in they’re 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their new found wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up murdered.

It`s down to how every individual wishes to play the game of life, and as I have said many times in the past, I`m not really cut out for the modern world, but my previous posts still stand. It`s up to you and the best of British luck.

Good God!! I might as well give up dating Thai women now!

It's not all that bad. I have met a number of women that I would consider future marriage material (just not for me)

[arthurwait]

Apart from thats she is wrong to go out with since her feelings are messed up, what is the "Thai way". Do reletionships start with a long term friendship, here ind Thailand?

I hate to tell you, but there is a huge difference between Thai women who date farangs, and regular Thai women (who incidentally make up the vast majority of Thai women in Thailand). For example, Thai women who date farangs seem to have a propensity to date more than one at a time. Clearly, this is your situation. Why do they do that? Could be hedging their bets. Or less chance of getting caught. Or even if caught, minor consequences. Or maybe it's all about money with these girls and they're just going for the highest bidder. Who knows.

You want a good Thai girl? Learn to speak Thai and stay away from farang-hunters.

I dont see much difference between the bar girls and so called good girls, they were brought up in the same towns and villages, went to the same schools and were doctrinated with the same teachings, were friends as kids, Have parents with similar morals and ideals etc etc...

You think bar girls and middle class girls went to the same schools ?

[aTomsLife]

Thank you for your thoughtful, well articulated response, Bettlejuice. While we differ on some big points, I wholeheartedly agree with you regarding consumerism/materialism being a major stumbling point to marriage. Though I'll ask that you consider whether material comfort hasn't always been part of the equation: Google the origin of the word "husband", for example. Today, perhaps it's simply a matter of needing more and having less money to acquire all the material comforts in question. I like to think I'll never allow myself to be used as a winning lottery ticket. Just because I marry a woman, doesn't mean she'll have a new car and house within a couple of years. And if my unwillingness to provide such things terminates the relationship, then so be it.

As for the example of the Thai "black widow", well... in my limited experience usually, and I repeat usually, the writing is on the wall with women like that; it's just that the guy refuses to see it. The lady in your example was stringing along guys 20 years her senior -- that is a red-flag right there. If online I see a 29 y.o. woman's dating profile, and her age-range for a guy includes men 20+ years her senior, I know she's looking for money and security more than anything else. At least that's what I'm inclined to believe. I pass them right by.

And not to sound flippant, but that your children feel the same as you do on the matter could likely be your influence on them. Though of course, perhaps not. The truth is, I felt the same as they did while I was living in the U.S. One of the reasons I moved here is because I'm able to afford and provide a higher quality of life than I would where I'm from...

Generational gaps are more pronounced than ever. When I was younger, fads seemed to be defined by years or even decades. Now, thanks largely to the internet and social media, one could potentially hear someone say, 'Oh, that's sooo two weeks ago!' My point being, I understand where you're coming from, even though I'm of a different opinion.

Thanks for your well wishes. I offer them to you and yours in return.

Edited March 11, 2013 by aTomsLife

[HardenedSoul]

This will be the majority of men who have worked all their life and been decent honest folk, some might like a drink but on the whole are ok.

Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

Whereas the girls on the other hand have the Thai trait of being manipulative, dishonest and marrying someone purely to climb the financial ladder.

Keep away from Thai women, mother of my child has just ran off from our 2 year old daughter, responsibility and facing ones troubles is too big an ask for lots of these people ... i don't think she was a hooker, but she's from the village where they all come from and thinks the same.

Thai culture my backside, most Thais are one or 2 generations away from being subsistence farmers living like we in the west did 500 years ago, it'll take that long to civilise them.

Ok well hang on a second. Put that bitterness to one side and let's have a look at this from the other side of the divide, shall we?

Don't women in the West marry to climb the social ladder?

Isn't it as much a man's fault for not being able to tell if a that's the kind of woman he's contemplating making a life with?

You can't say all Thai women are like that just cos your relationship blew up in your face.

[Beetlejuice]

This will be the majority of men who have worked all their life and been decent honest folk, some might like a drink but on the whole are ok.

Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

Whereas the girls on the other hand have the Thai trait of being manipulative, dishonest and marrying someone purely to climb the financial ladder.

Keep away from Thai women, mother of my child has just ran off from our 2 year old daughter, responsibility and facing ones troubles is too big an ask for lots of these people ... i don't think she was a hooker, but she's from the village where they all come from and thinks the same.

Thai culture my backside, most Thais are one or 2 generations away from being subsistence farmers living like we in the west did 500 years ago, it'll take that long to civilise them.

Ok well hang on a second. Put that bitterness to one side and let's have a look at this from the other side of the divide, shall we?

Don't women in the West marry to climb the social ladder?

Isn't it as much a man's fault for not being able to tell if a that's the kind of woman he's contemplating making a life with?

You can't say all Thai women are like that just cos your relationship blew up in your face.

No bitterness involved here, far from it in fact.

Yes, men should be able to tell the kind of women they contemplate making a life with. But the problems are that some of the older guys want to live the dream and will put aside the realities of a situation and the younger guys may not have enough life experience to read a situation correctly until the realities smack them in the face.

If you read all of my posts, you will see I have not said that all women are social climbers, I`m just stating that in today`s societies relationships can be very hit and miss and that the gold diggers and those with high materialistic values are out there in our modern commercialized world, so be careful and if not sure, don`t jump in at the deep end.

My old mum used to say, when the monies gone, than love flies out of the window, and the only difference I believe is between what my mother said in the past and pertaining to the present is that love can fly away a lot quicker these days, because some women have higher expectations than those from the past generations, rather than work towards a better future with a partner as did my parents and their parents before them.

Edited March 11, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[HardenedSoul]

What are you talking about, BJ?

I wasn't responding to your post.

Please read it again paying particular attention to the quoted section

[Tilted Grin]

I beleive that women, regardless of nationality or social standing, are looking for a secure life and personally I don't see anything wrong with that.

Just be sure that she is sincere in her relations with you.

Edited March 11, 2013 by Tilted Grin

[Shawnncoco]

Heart

Which hotel does she work at and what is her position?

Hopefully not on her back.

Over the years attitudes towards relationships have changed dramatically in Thailand.

I have been with my Thai wife over 30 years; both in our 50s now and the ways of thinking were completely different in the days when we first met.

These days I just don`t feel that Thai women make good wife/girlfriend partners anymore and best not to become too deeply involved with them.

I am not in anyway intentionally denigrating Thai women, my point is that it`s a sign of the times and whatever you do, has to be done at your own risk and discretion, as you probably know this girl better than we do

I had my fair share of experience here ... Lets put it this way , two difference nationality , two difference culture people coming together is unique yet problematic .

I had being through a numeral number of lies by now my current wife in the initial stage of our courtship . Lies about she being single , not married before and stuff like this.

I felt that thai girl goes for marriage with a foreigner is in exchange for a stable life in turn of income and etc. no doubt that they will ' love you ' in the long run ... But that could be due to the stuff you are able to provide for her ...

Heard countless of story that thai girl have pimp themselves for their thai boyfriend and family and etc for financial problem . Now , for example , ask yourself if you get into this type of financial problem , would they do the same for you , or not ? I don't know .

But I agreed with ' beetle juice ' , now a days thai woman doesn't make good wife like they use to be in the past. But however there are still a handful out there for you to chance by. Or in my case , lies in the initial stage , ' all in with you about their dark secret ' accept it and move on into another chapter of the love life ...

My two cents worth of personal comment and view ..

[oldsailor35]

To quote an old saying, i think that she is "Having a bob each way"

[Berkshire]

I beleive that women, regardless of nationality or social standing, are looking for a secure life and personally I don't see anything wrong with that.

Just be sure that she is sincere in her relations with you.

Yes, financial security is ONE important item that Thai women typically look for. The problem is Thai women who believes this to be THE most important trait. Unfortunately, farangs have a tendency to attract these kinds of women.

[akspace]

Has there been any mention of buffalos?

My girlfriend is always talking about buffalos...should I be worried?

Ever since I ordered buffalo at a restaurant she has been politely (ha) reminding me to not order it again (daily).

[Thailand1977]

Apart from thats she is wrong to go out with since her feelings are messed up, what is the "Thai way". Do reletionships start with a long term friendship, here ind Thailand?

I hate to tell you, but there is a huge difference between Thai women who date farangs, and regular Thai women (who incidentally make up the vast majority of Thai women in Thailand). For example, Thai women who date farangs seem to have a propensity to date more than one at a time. Clearly, this is your situation. Why do they do that? Could be hedging their bets. Or less chance of getting caught. Or even if caught, minor consequences. Or maybe it's all about money with these girls and they're just going for the highest bidder. Who knows.

You want a good Thai girl? Learn to speak Thai and stay away from farang-hunters.

I dont see much difference between the bar girls and so called good girls, they were brought up in the same towns and villages, went to the same schools and were doctrinated with the same teachings, were friends as kids, Have parents with similar morals and ideals etc etc...

You think bar girls and middle class girls went to the same schools ?

I don't think Isaan bar girls went to school with the Pattana gang, but yes bar girls did go to school with the secretary or marketing girl that many deem as upmarket who went to one of Thailands many university mills.

And please if you wish to quote us the exact phrase no need to alter it to put your argument across.

[Thailand1977]

I beleive that women, regardless of nationality or social standing, are looking for a secure life and personally I don't see anything wrong with that.

Just be sure that she is sincere in her relations with you.

Well that is stating the bleeding obvious, i wouldn't think there are too many women on the lookout for becoming impoverished, malnutritioned and destitute.

Not many of the women us Farang have the pleasure of attracting would have anything to do with us if we had a similar paying job to their own father.

[Thailand1977]

This will be the majority of men who have worked all their life and been decent honest folk, some might like a drink but on the whole are ok.

Many Thai families regard farangs as below them and would prefer their daughters to meet a nice Thai boy to keep up with the old family traditions and cultures. Considering some of the types of farangs who are plonking themselves in Thailand at the present, quite frankly I don`t blame them.

Whereas the girls on the other hand have the Thai trait of being manipulative, dishonest and marrying someone purely to climb the financial ladder.

Keep away from Thai women, mother of my child has just ran off from our 2 year old daughter, responsibility and facing ones troubles is too big an ask for lots of these people ... i don't think she was a hooker, but she's from the village where they all come from and thinks the same.

Thai culture my backside, most Thais are one or 2 generations away from being subsistence farmers living like we in the west did 500 years ago, it'll take that long to civilise them.

Ok well hang on a second. Put that bitterness to one side and let's have a look at this from the other side of the divide, shall we?

Don't women in the West marry to climb the social ladder?

Isn't it as much a man's fault for not being able to tell if a that's the kind of woman he's contemplating making a life with?

You can't say all Thai women are like that just cos your relationship blew up in your face.

My bitterness is towards her leaving a 2 year old baby behind for a job, or should i be overjoyed with this? This is acceptable in Thailand which shows my comparison to uncivilised times in medieval England may not be too far off.

Girls i know from school on the whole weren't desperate to find someone based on money/social climbing, in Thailand money and status is a national obsession, this is part of that wonderful "THAI CULTURE" they keep going on about.

I never had a relationship you're very presumptuous, despite going to Thailand from my early 20s to mid 30s i have never once wanted a relationship with a Thai female, in general i believe something doesn't add up with them.

[MiG16]

this thread is now mostly heading towards generalisations

and given the OP has already got his answer, this is now closed.

cheers