My previous topic and discussion inspired me to follow on with this thread.....

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CCC

Edited March 23, 201313 yr by metisdead
: 22) Not to post any copyrighted material except as fair use laws apply (as in the case of news articles).

utter hogwash....you can pay a dowry if you like mate but don't bang that drum on here that it is the norm....

cheers

utter hogwash....you can pay a dowry if you like mate but don't bang that drum on here that it is the norm....

cheers

I beg to differ on that point norrona, the traditional dowry is Thai custom. Yes, even Thai men show/pay it.

The above is only meant as a guide.

CCC

Edited March 22, 201313 yr by Chittychangchang

utter hogwash....you can pay a dowry if you like mate but don't bang that drum on here that it is the norm....

cheers

I beg to differ on that point norrona, the traditional dowry is Thai custom. Yes, even Thai men show/pay it.

The above is only meant as a guide.

CCC

their culture/custom so let them get on with it I say.....

I find it a bit strange that you are the peoples voice when it comes to farang/thai relationships to be fair and in my opinion if you act as gooey as you have written above with presents etc you will be mugged off as many over there take kindness as weakness....

the best advice I can offer anyone when finding a thai partner is to get themselves an orphan....

cheers

Ha! An orphan. That was my idea when I decided to move here.

Might still be able to arrange something....

Did your wife tell you all this?

thing is with the extended family if you set yourself up as a really nice person who accepts/tolrates everything then they(not all of them)will exploit you in some way or another...there you are always smiling and tolerating whats going on around you whilst probably footing the bill/s so when the time comes that you have had enough(and believe me everyone has a breaking point) and you say enough is enough they will look at each other bemused as if it is you with the problem....and that will be where the real aggro starts!

anyway if you are serious about this partner then whats wrong with being yourself...I understand some of the reprobates and farangs with the personality of a lettuce leaf need to put on a show but it's just not normal is it...and you can't stay in character forever!

I also disagree with most are virgins before they marry. Hang around withuniversity students and you will see what I mean!

I also disagree with most are virgins before they marry. Hang around withuniversity students and you will see what I mean!

And you, being a "long in the tooth member," would know this how?

also the part where 'if she doesn't drop you for her ever demanding and totally dysfunctional family then she's probably not a nice girl'

I mean really?

have another chang and go back to the drawing board OP

You didn't write that earlier nonsense about romancing Thai women did you? I thought it was a piss take.

I also disagree with most are virgins before they marry. Hang around withuniversity students and you will see what I mean!

I agree with this about the virgins - utter &lt;deleted&gt;!

Majority of them are 'at it' mid teens i would say, puke a kid out, leave it with granny then off shaggin with another Somchai again as pappa Somchai will have left a 100 baht on kitchen table abd done a shoot!

i think there is something wrong with my computer, this is what came up on my screen.

maybe my crapblocker is acting up.

One of the things many western men worry about when they fall in love with a Thai girl is her family. Thai women are very close to their families, so close in fact that, if push comes to shove, they will usually choose their family over a boyfriend or husband - even over you! So, if you fall in love with a Thai woman and plan on marrying her, it's imperative that her family not only likes you, but respects you too. For western men, this is often difficult as, like most westerners they don't really worry that much about their in-laws. In Thailand, though, there is no choice. You must not only worry about your in-laws but take care of them too. If you're in love with a Thai girl but don't know how to make her family like you, just follow these few easy tips and you shouldn't have any problems.

Understand Family Comes First - The most important thing to a Thai girl is her family. So much so that, if you have a date, but something comes up with her family, she's 99.9% sure to choose to do the thing with her family before the thing wtih you. And, if she doesn't, she's probably not the nice girl you think she is. The first thing to understand if you're in a relationship with a Thai girl is family comes first. Every Thai guy understands that and expects it. As a westerner, if you can understand and accept it, it'll go a long way to making her family like you even more. Plus, think about it this way, while she's off with her family, you've got a good excuse to spend time with your mates in the pub.


Buy Little Gifts For Her Family - If you want your Thai girl's family to like you, when you meet them and every time you visit, make sure you take a gift. Most Thais, when they visit the home of friends or relatives, they take food. A gift of some nice fruit (imported is good!), Thai snacks, chocolate or cookies will give the right first impression to a Thai woman's family. If you show up with nothing, you will automatically be known as the 'farang kee nok', roughly translated as 'bird shit westerner', meaning someone who is very cheap.

Help To Take Care of the Family - If your relationship with your Thai girlfriend is very serious, it's always nice to help her take care of her family. Most Thai men, when they marry, move in with the girl's family, as property in Thailand usually goes from family to daughter. In this way, Thai men work to support their wife's family. Western men are no more likely to move in with their wife's family than they are to grow wings and fly. So, it's only polite, to help take care of the family financiall insteady. A few thousand baht here and there as a gift is a nice gesture as are small gifts like electronics - a DVD player, a rice cooker, a TV etc. Thai men will do this quite often so a Thai family doesn't understand when a western man doesn't - especially because they think most western men have more money than most Thai men. Plus, think of it this way, a $50 rice cooker or living with your wife's family - I know which one I would choose!


Pay a Dowry When You Get Married - Every Thai man in Thailand expects to pay a dowry when they marry, and a western man should be no exception. Because westerners are perceived to be much wealthier than most Thais, the dowry is also expected to be higher. Plus, because you're not going to be living with the family and supporting them that way, it's only natural you would want to pay a higher dowry - at least that's what the family will think. A lot of western men have a problem paying a dowry but, seriously, if you can't follow he cultural norms, then you shouldn't be marrying a Thai girl in the first place. Suck it up, pay the dowry and hope they give some of it or all of it back to you after the wedding (returning part or all of the dowry is becoming more normal in Thailand, unless your wife is a poor country girl in which case you're very unlikely to see that money again.


Above all, if you want your Thai girlfriend's or wife's parents to like you, be polite, be kind, buy small gifts where you can, and help take care of her family financially. Thai families are very warm and welcoming and will be more than happy to welcome you as a son-in-law if you follow some of the Thai cultural norms.

let's keep this one positive.

CCC

Seriously though the advice while nice, is far too pithy to be of any real use.

Are you practicing writing articles for ask.com?

Edited March 22, 201313 yr by candypants

I have never read such utter rubbish,all I can say is that you must be fool to write and also belive it .Also 'a fool and his money is soon parted'.

Oh darn! I thought you were going to tell us that the Thai family has a tall, good looking son who happens to like Canadian redheads.

You didn't write that earlier nonsense about romancing Thai women did you? I thought it was a piss take.

it is, it has to be, but it takes real skill to be that trite.

Puppy dogs and butterflies are literally falling from my screen

Edited March 22, 201313 yr by candypants

The best way to a Thai girls heart is through your wallet pal......and that's all you really needed to say !!

Funny,

If a Thai girl wants a farang she will have to accept its not a Thai and that not all Thai things will go like the dowary and taking care of the family. Same goes for the foreigner you will have to make some alowances for her being Thai.

Guys that act like they have to change.. too funny.

Its give and take and in a mixed relation both have to give a bit its not one culture that will be dominant.

Also much of what is said does not happen with every girl especially the more educated ones (though exceptions there too).

Its like saying that all guys from the Netherlands are the same in how they think.

Quote - "Its like saying that all guys from the Netherlands are the same in how they think."

You mean they are not? The guys I met from Holland just wanted to get into my pants using any means necessary.

Why would you want to jump through all the hoops.

Just buy them the house, the pick up and monthly salary and you can do whatever you like with her for as long as you keep up monthly salary's

Quote - "Its like saying that all guys from the Netherlands are the same in how they think."

You mean they are not? The guys I met from Holland just wanted to get into my pants using any means necessary.

bludgeon us with your sexuality, ginger, show us no mercy.

Edited March 22, 201313 yr by candypants

The best way to a Thai girls heart is through your wallet pal......and that's all you really needed to say !!

There is another;)

Quote - "Its like saying that all guys from the Netherlands are the same in how they think."

You mean they are not? The guys I met from Holland just wanted to get into my pants using any means necessary.

and did they?!

utter hogwash....you can pay a dowry if you like mate but don't bang that drum on here that it is the norm....

cheers

I didn't pay a dowry and she didn't pay for the wedding. Sorted

When I first met my Thai wife, she said regarding the matters of caring for her parents, her family follow the old traditions dating back hundreds of years.

So to keep within the ancient family rituals and in true Thai tradition, we took the parents up country and left them deep in the jungle somewhere. Well, I mean, they had no assets or anything of value to leave, so what else was we suppose to do?

whether you follow all the OP's advice or not I don't think anyone can disagree with the fact that it is important to have a good relationship with your OH's family . That will only make your relationship better .

Quote - "Its like saying that all guys from the Netherlands are the same in how they think."

You mean they are not? The guys I met from Holland just wanted to get into my pants using any means necessary.

They liked dressing up in women's underwear????

Good post ChittyChangChang.A good basic guide,although some will tailor it a bit to suit their own beliefs.e.g I personally don't believe in dowrys,so I gave the parents some money to do their house up and make it habitable,while my wife and I were engaged,on the understanding it was a gift,and I would not be putting up a dowry when we married,and that was it, 100,000 baht was laid out at the wedding,and it all came back to me,after the guests went home.so face was saved,and so was my principles.............Compromise is a wonderful thing.

And the gift was 60,000 baht!

To the OP, I appreciate your efforts to explain the mystic qualities of a Thai Lady.

Certainly a unique personal view and worth sharing, though I doubt as to the it's universal application, as I'm sure we'll read in following posts ...

A point that maybe can be universally applied is the "Thai women are very close to their families" ... we can underestimate that sometimes.

And in many cases what you wrote can also apply ... "so close in fact that, if push comes to shove, they will usually choose their family over a boyfriend or husband".

.

To the OP, I appreciate your efforts to explain the mystic qualities of a Thai Lady.

Certainly a unique personal view and worth sharing, though I doubt as to the it's universal application, as I'm sure we'll read in following posts ...

A point that maybe can be universally applied is the "Thai women are very close to their families" ... we can underestimate that sometimes.

And in many cases what you wrote can also apply ... "so close in fact that, if push comes to shove, they will usually choose their family over a boyfriend or husband".

.

Agreed,that's one of the first things in Thailand that one has to accept,you can't change the teachings of a lifetime,but you might dilute it?