Does This Ever Wind You Up?

[daleyboy]

Ok this i what happened. I will just add before i start my story, things like this dont usually bother me, but then again they are not normally as blatant as this was.

The wife and i had gone to our local market with my mum yesterday. We are walking around looking at the various stuff on offer, which is usually just cheap tat, but you can normally get good meat and good cheap clothes there.

Anyway the wife wandered off to look at some clothes, while my mum and i went and had a look at a few of the local cheeses they had on offer. While we were stood there the blokes behind the counter were chatting. They werent being discreet about it and it was obvious they were talking about my wife.

The conversation they had went something like this.......

Moron1 " look at her they all look the <deleted> same dont they?"

Moron2 "yeah they aint no better than the n*****s in our country,<deleted> yellow bitch"

Moron1 " but i bet she cooks a great chinese"

Moron2 "yeah as long as you like dog" they both thought this was hilarious

Daleyboy " she looks Thai to me" Not letting on at this point she is my wife!

Moron1 " no she aint <deleted> Thai, there is no way she is from Taiwan"

Moron2 " yeah chinese without a doubt, i know my c****s when i see them"

Daleyboy " I am sure she is Thai"

Moron2 " how can you tell?"

Daleyboy " because she is my <deleted> wife you moron, now which one of you should i smack first?"

At this point i was ready to ht smeone, but seeing their obvious embarrassment(sp) i decided not to lower myself to their level and kick the <deleted> out of them added to the fact my mum was there and by this point my 7 month preggers wife had come back to join us which i think helped calm me down a bit. They then spent the next 5 minutes apologising all the while the other traders who were stood near by and heard what had just happened started taking the piss out of them.

Now this isnt the first time i have noticed something like this going on, but normally it is just stares and snide comments, which with a quiet word and a nasty glare sorts out.

So for those of you in Farang countries or Thailand for that matter, does it ever get on your tits when something like this happens?

This follows on from the bettytv thread, now i hope you read this betty and realise what some of us have to go through on a almost daily basis, and when you make your program you take this into consideration and you present something which hopefully will dispell some of these stereotypes that people have of Thai women and the men who marry them.

[britmaveric]

Daley - people always take the piss, just need to ignore them unless its something that fking obvious that needs sorting. Prob won't be so quick to run their gobs now, so well done mate!

[chippie]

Where were you, England? Not Thailand i'm guessing!

[meom]

Lots of thais are the same only you don't know half the time what they're talking unless you speak thai.

[britmaveric]

Lots of thais are the same only you don't know half the time what they're talking unless you speak thai.

Say smth back in Thai and I find that shuts their gob too. Very embarrassed then!!!

[GuestHouse]

It's pure ignorance and predjudice.

You hear it hear sometimes here on TV too. Guys berating all western women as being man haters/overweight/money grabbing/(insert negative of your choice).

Conversely you'll hear guys praising Thai women as all being fabulous/sexy/caring etc.

Of course neither generalization is correct and anything but a judgment made on the basis of a real knowledge of an individual is ignorance and predjudice.

What you have experienced is an extreme, unencessary and I am sure you dealt with it better than I would have... I'd have been punching people.

But the fact is, we all make similar (if not as extreme) comments from time to time, perhaps not in the same degree, perhaps we make possitive comments and think that's OK because we are being possitive.

It's, as Trink might have said huMAN NAtURE...

I'd say the biggest problem my wife has is guys hitting on her, OK you might say, living in Italy what do you expect?

But she made a very telling observation. In Italy, every guy has a 'Ciao Bella', cars pipping horns, she'll occasionaly gets a guy asking her if she has time for a coffee. She remarks this is nothing that worries her. She puts it down to Italians and sees it as harmless flirting.

But when we lived in the UK and when we visit the UK she takes a whole different view. She tells me she genuinely fears for her safety in the UK on account of the number of real creaps that take to following her around supermakets/the town centre etc. We have friends in the UK who's Thai wife/girlfriends have had to file police reports over creaps stalking them.

I think that kind of behaviour bothers me more than ignorant comments.

[game4shame]

<deleted>

forget the run of the mill 'is she a ladyboy?' type <deleted> that is easily brushed aside (bearing in mind the intellect and relevance of the person commenting!!), this is nasty racism directed at your wife .

I remember when I kept in touch with a Thai girl I was thinking about taking her on holiday to the UK. I quickly re-considered when I thought about the racism and ignorance of the UK in general. Ok, this wasnt the only reason putting me off and if I really liked her I wouldnt have cared but you shouldnt have to put up with that kind of crap.

Edited March 12, 2006 by game4shame

[Jeff1]

Where were you, England? Not Thailand i'm guessing!

this is one of the few times I will use only smilies

Edited March 12, 2006 by Jeff1

[daleyboy]

Indeed in England, Soutmead market in Bristol, not really the place where you get the highest brain power in the county

I think if my wife and mother werent there i might not have been so restrained in my approach.

I also know Thais can be the same,but i dont believe Thais do so with such malice and hate as these men did. I also think that if a Thai was in a setting similar to the one we were in, they wouldnt have been talking loud enough for the immediate area of people to hear, knowing that everyone could understand what they were saying, including the person they were ridiculing(sp)

[Jeff1]

That would not be tolerated in the USSR of A . NOT PC for " the help " to be talking badly about the patron's race . It would have been two morons jobs on a platter . That said , It still does happen . You must take it from where it came from .....Morons .

[Mighty Mouse]

Daleyboy, I think you handled the situation extremely well. They were a couple of "morons" and their conversation was more than just blokey talk. It was a mixture racial slur, prejudice and stupidity.

If truth be known, they probably found your wife very attractive but knew that they didn't possess what it takes to find such a woman for themselves, so they chose to mock her.

England must have racial vilification laws, so these "morons" should know better.

[redrus]

Top man DB, me and you row the same boat when it comes to the fine line between slap, and not slap.

Well done mate.

redrus

[Neeranam]

I also know Thais can be the same,but i dont believe Thais do so with such malice and hate as these men did.

I've heard worse from Thais, especially the motorcycle taxi riders in Bangkok. There are <deleted> everywhere. Usually directed at Thai women with farang, Indians, Africans.

Racism is alive everywhere unfortunately, especially in Thailand. Can you imagine what some Thais would be like if those of different skin colour could get Thai residency as easily as in the West!

One of my pet resentments is getting called "mun" here. I've never heard anyone in my country refer to those of a different race, 'it'.

Edited March 12, 2006 by Neeranam

[Donz]

Yes ive had an experience at Chaing Mai train station where my fiancee wanted to bash the taxi driver by calling her a cheap bitch with a stupid oversea's bf. I didnt know what they said at the time, i just had to hold my fiancee back as she can be alittle aggresive and she is barely 5 foot tall.

Also in australia i was in line at this club called 3 wise monkey's and these aussie where throwing things at my gf and me because we look asian, i snapped when they said go back to your country and then a bunch of aussies even helped me and jumped in and a few punches were thrown. The security kicked them out of the line and let us in

That sort of shit happends everywhere.

[Morden]

I like to think that I would have handled this as well as you did, Daleyboy. Risky though. They may well have been real red-necks and put you to the floor or worse. You know how it can be in the UK now.

We haven't suffered such overt unpleasantness in the UK yet but every shopping trip includes meaningful looks from middle-aged couples. He catches sight of my wife then sees me. There's a moment of confusion as he tries to decide between prejudiced disapproval and envy. She sees my wife and then me and gives me a look of disapproval that only a woman can. They both look away and carry on. I just fix their gaze for a moment as a form of mild challenge but they never say a word. That's a pity because I have a speech ready!

My wife believes that the looks are because she is a tad shorter than me. However, I think that there are other differences between us that farangs with narrow minds might not like. They can't help it. I can remember an infant school teacher showing us a map of the world, pointing to the red bits and saying that they were all under British rule. I didn't know the difference between Ulster and the RoI until after the bombing began in 1970. I'm lucky; I've seen more of the world and my eyes have been opened. The poor bigots who stare have have probably missed out on life in a big way.

[Pattayatony]

Your a better man than me DB as old as I am I would have punched their lights out then made a comment. Yes It does happen in Thailand but that dosnt make it right. I get very pissed off when the taxi or Baht bus drivers tell my GF that she is Thai and should help them get more money from me.

Enough said as this type of shit just pisses me off.

[Insight]

Well handled Daley!

Moron1 " no she aint <deleted> Thai, there is no way she is from Taiwan"

Not the first time I've heard that, but still never fails to make me laugh

[LoveDaBlues]

I like to think that I would have handled this as well as you did, Daleyboy. Risky though. They may well have been real red-necks and put you to the floor or worse. You know how it can be in the UK now.

We haven't suffered such overt unpleasantness in the UK yet but every shopping trip includes meaningful looks from middle-aged couples. He catches sight of my wife then sees me. There's a moment of confusion as he tries to decide between prejudiced disapproval and envy. She sees my wife and then me and gives me a look of disapproval that only a woman can. They both look away and carry on. I just fix their gaze for a moment as a form of mild challenge but they never say a word. That's a pity because I have a speech ready!

My wife believes that the looks are because she is a tad shorter than me. However, I think that there are other differences between us that farangs with narrow minds might not like. They can't help it. I can remember an infant school teacher showing us a map of the world, pointing to the red bits and saying that they were all under British rule. I didn't know the difference between Ulster and the RoI until after the bombing began in 1970. I'm lucky; I've seen more of the world and my eyes have been opened. The poor bigots who stare have have probably missed out on life in a big way.

Well said. I've never met an intelligent bigot. They must exist I've just never met one.

[DavieA]

My feelings go out to ya daleyboy. yes the temptation to <deleted> them one would have been ovewhelming, but what I would have given to see their faces when you told them you were her husband! Yeahhhhh baby!! Personally I would have asked for the manager.

Me and the missus get that here a lot in Hat Yai from the Thais. We get all sorts of stares and the my girlfriend gets the occasional comments from people, especially taxi and tuk tuk drivers. I especially love it when Thais make shrude comments about me. The looks on their faces are awsome when I reply in Thai. I usually tell them that not all Farangs or "rangs" as they say in Hat Yai, are as stupid as them. But that's stooping to the same level I guess isn't it?

[daleyboy]

My feelings go out to ya daleyboy. yes the temptation to <deleted> them one would have been ovewhelming, but what I would have given to see their faces when you told them you were her husband! Yeahhhhh baby!! Personally I would have asked for the manager.

Me and the missus get that here a lot in Hat Yai from the Thais. We get all sorts of stares and the my girlfriend gets the occasional comments from people, especially taxi and tuk tuk drivers. I especially love it when Thais make shrude comments about me. The looks on their faces are awsome when I reply in Thai. I usually tell them that not all Farangs or "rangs" as they say in Hat Yai, are as stupid as them. But that's stooping to the same level I guess isn't it?

Yeah the look on their faces was probably what saved them from a smack in the chops. Especially when all their mates looked around and started laughing. They went the same colur as a royal mail pillar box.

Believe me if this had happened in a shop their managaer would have got some grief off of me, but as we were on a market there was no one to complain t except the market inspector i guess, but trying to find out who that is would be pretty difficult.

Still i dont think they will be doing this in a hurry again

[rio666uk]

Dale - if you do fancy lowering yourself to their level and knocking f*** out of em, give me a bell next time youre going shopping and ill come along...

Ive been lucky so far - neither myself or my mates that are married to thai girls have had any problems like this... but I have seen the lowlifes sneering and sniggering when we've been out in town for a drink...

It concerns me that my wife has said that she actually feels threatened by some peoples stares - as though its in mallice.

Edited March 13, 2006 by rio666uk

[Tywais]

When I first started reading your post I was speechless. The 2nd thought that came to mind was how long for the ambulance to come to take those 'wa-nkers' (and I'm not even British) off.

Good job keeping it under control.

Edited March 13, 2006 by tywais

[opothai]

daley its not nice for you or the mrs, but luckily your good lady did not have to listen to the crap coming out of these morons mouths.

on a night out with the wife, we were having a quiete drink before we were going to eat, well it was only 8 o'clock in the evening and a scruffy unkempt bunch of lads about 30 ish strolled in and started making thiere prescence known and making loud comments about all and sundry,

after a short while pne of the w+kers goes to the loo om the way back he clocks me and the mrs and loudly and laughing say's ' how much did that little dolly cost' still giggling like a 10 year old, the sad thing was my mrs understood what he said and wanted to go home.

any way i did not posses the composure you have shown and gave him a dig in the ribs to which all thay he had consumed that day spewed forth from his face. the other boys came over but the people in the pub heard what went on and they were ejected, with other people helping in this situation we were able to go on with our evening and she was happy that not all peoplr are the same. wv'e had a few more snide remarks but nothing on thet scale, whether it gets better with time one shall see.

[Donz]

Im sure alot of us have been in this situation, its not a good feeling. Even when i was in MBK with my Thai friend the lady was trying to tell my friend to pay her more money and put the price up because i was foreigner.

[phibunmike]

Anyway the wife wandered off to look at some clothes, while my mum and i went and had a look at a few of the local cheeses they had on offer. While we were stood there the blokes behind the counter were chatting. They werent being discreet about it and it was obvious they were talking about my wife.

I'm sorry, I started day dreaming when you said you were wandering around the market looking at the local cheeses that were on offer. I often do that at the market in Phibun Mangsahan (but it doesn't take very long....).

[Jai Dee]

Im sure alot of us have been in this situation, its not a good feeling. Even when i was in MBK with my Thai friend the lady was trying to tell my friend to pay her more money and put the price up because i was foreigner.

That's not uncommon... but you can circumvent the situation (and save your lady's and the vendor's face) by saying "phom mai chai nuck tong teow"... "I'm not a tourist..."

But... say it with a smile...

[HarryHerb]

How utterly depressing. Racism is ugly wherever one finds it.

However, I do think this case goes beyond your common or garden meathead racism - p*kis / w*gs / ch*nks etc., revolting although that is in itself.

There is still a widespread belief in the UK at least that all Asian wives are - for want of a better word - "mail order" or bar girls - hence the offensive comments about 'how much did she cost?' and so on. The belief is held even more strongly when there is a large discrepancy in age / physical size between man and wife.

And we are not talking only thick market boys either. At a do at my previous job at a national newspaper in England (broadsheet, not tabloid) one of the journalists brought his Thai wife. I remember very clearly her being sniggered over by my colleagues - with "witty jibes", rather than direct insults, but no less offensive. Now these are people who are supposed to be highly educated, well-travelled and well-read and would not dream of being 'racist', but they thought it was perfectly acceptable to make snide remarks about 'choosing from a catalogue'.

[English Noodles]

I't is a shame that people are like this but that is life. I agree with Neeranam though i have heard far far worse from Thai people and calling us "mun" is an insult which is pretty unbelievable especialy when said with a smile. I was once refered to as "it" by one of my GFs work friends.

Thailand is by far the most racist place i have ever lived.

Edited March 13, 2006 by English Noodles

[game4shame]

on the way back he clocks me and the mrs and loudly and laughing say's ' how much did that little dolly cost' still giggling like a 10 year old

(note to moderators - please dont delete the post this time - lighten up )

Note to member, Thaivisa has rules and these rules will be respected. Once deleted, twice....?

Don't try it again, or you are out of here!!!

Edited March 13, 2006 by tuky

[sadman]

Top man, daleyboy - although I don't know how you kept your hands to yourself.

My English mate is married to a Thai lady and the only grief they've had was in LOS, when a German tourist on the beach gave him a broad wink, smirked and said "your wife is very nice". My mate said thanks, as you do, and the guy kept pushing it, making comments with the emphasis on 'wife'. Eventually my mate strolled over, pointed out that the lady was indeed his wife, and happened to mention in Thai to the locals around that the German had been asking where he could find any pre-pubescent girls or boys to have a good time.

By all accounts the ensuing melee was a hoot.