Sawadeebaadoo Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 In general, how can one expect thais to behave, when it comes to their loyalty and level of trust - especially in situations that involve sensitive matters between thais and farangs.Here is a classic example:A farang man living in Bangkok with his girlfriend, is cheating on her when she is out of town. The man brings home other girls from time to time, and this is, of course, seen by the people that service his residence - let's say a regular condominium: the security guys, the cleaners, the motor bike guys downstairs etc. Let's say that the gf talks to these people in a chit chat manner, but otherwise don't really know them much. Let's say she has seen/met these people "downstair" for several years.Could one expect any of these people to blow the whistle on the man, or is that very unlikely? Would they honor their job by never reviling sensitive information from the tenants life, or would they feel a stronger loyalty to the thai lady, because she is a thai with a farang? Depending on your input: Would it be the same if it was a thai couple?) Would it matter if it's a married couple with kids and not just bf/gf? I know there is no simple yes/no answer to this. I am of course looking for some insights in comparison with farang loyalty cultureI had a discussion with some friends about this, and we couldn't agree. We think it could be very interesting to hear from people that really know Thai culture.We need the power of crowdsourcing. Let the jury decide.Any kind of input/stories that relates to the subjuct of Thais vs. Farangs, in relation to loyalty and trust, would also be appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post britgent Posted March 30, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2013 So you've been naughty whilst the missus is away and now you fear you'll be feeding the ducks if the condo staff grass you up. Plastic knives only in your establishment is my recommendation. Entertainment brought to you courtesy of Chang and Sangsom. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post wooloomooloo Posted March 30, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2013 Don't crap on your own doorstep. Are you okay? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post smokie36 Posted March 30, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2013 Trust your friends....if you are smart enough to know who they are. If you are not then trust no one. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post FunFon Posted March 30, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2013 IMO your first loyalty in nearly all cases should be to the universal virtues and principles like honesty, fairness, compassion etc. Also it is important to be loyal to friends and family, co-workers, people you have real connections with, the more intimate the higher the obligation. It is true that just the first criterion creates tough dilemmas, and these are further complicated by the latter personal issues, making decisions complex enough for most of us. Any concept of "loyalty" based on nationality and especially race are IMO idiotic and evil. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post FunFon Posted March 30, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2013 From a practical POV given the content of your OP: Thais have no concept of personal privacy, even the largest urban area's neighborhood act like little villages where everyone is expected to know and gossip about everyone else's business, and that's considered OK and the way things should be in Thai culture. If you want any real privacy for the kind of activities you're talking about, you need to take security precautions, sometimes to the point that you act like 007 assuming the SO's got private dicks tailing you at all times. Even single people should IMO never bring any casual sex partner to the place where they live, if their reputation among the Thais could ever conceivably be of importance. This is especially important for those working or in business here. The only person you should bring home to meet your security guards/neighbors/street food vendors/corner motocy/maids etc - all of whom tell everyone they know everything they see or hear about you - is the very rare girl that you've gotten to know over a long period of time, met her family know all about her and are pretty sure you'd be happy should be the mother of your children. Because she's very quickly going to hear about every other girl you've ever brought there in the past. It's really not expensive to use ST hotels, or if you're really active, maintain a small cheap flat for your playtime activities. Never let any person associated with one location know about the other, never use the motocy guys in one location to go directly to the other, transfer at different random locations etc etc. This strategy also helps secure your life and treasure. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post gpdjohn Posted March 30, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2013 His girlfriend who he is cheating on knew about his bringing home another woman within 7 to 10 minutes after he arrived home. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Relevant linkNot that I'm a fan of Ronnie wrt to his historical political role, but on a personal level it seems he was sometimes a decent fellow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiang mai Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 You would be extremely foolish to think that you would not be found out, the jungle drums here are quite remarkable plus most Thai females find it impossible not to share important information they have, even with strangers, you have been warned. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roamer Posted March 30, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 30, 2013 I lived in a condo for a while on Suk 71 and no one knew I spoke Thai. You would be amazed (or maybe not depending on how naive you are) at what the security guys would say to some of the girls. BUT as far as these guys are concerned it's a case of who looks after them and how they are treated, the dynamic is all important here, far more than the Thai/Farang issue. Some bg wants to act the hi so with them and treat them like dirt whilst conveniently forgetting they both came from the same vegetable patch....well her old man could bring a bus load of katoeys home at lunchtime and they won't say a thing. An iced coffee or M150 from 7/11 when you come home some nights, decent tip when they do something for you, that counts for far more than any patriotic leanings. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krisb Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Easy answer. This "falang" is gonna get caught. People talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) You would be extremely foolish to think that you would not be found out, the jungle drums here are quite remarkable plus most Thai females find it impossible not to share important information they have, even with strangers, you have been warned.- If you live in Bangkok and are willing to inconvenience yourself a bit, it's not any harder than operating as a spy behind enemy lines in wartime or being an effective grassroots activist for democratic change in Burma. The real trick, only a little easier, is setting things up so that your SO doesn't really mind, doesn't feel your relationahip is threatened by your playing around and you don't let anyone know that she cares about, much less anyone finding out that she knows. But that's a whole 'nother topic, and not really that interesting to me as I don't even bother playing the "let's pretend monogamy is possible" game anymore. Edited March 30, 2013 by FunFon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellred Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I think this type of dynamic could be applicable anywhere in the world. People see things, people talk. It's maybe not always guaranteed they will but once they have seen you will always be wondering when it may come. My advice would be to change apartment and be a bit more savvy about it this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuna Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 For me, if she is my close friend, I will tell her everything since it's "best friend's duty" to do. If she is not my close friend, I will keep it secret until she raises the question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) I dated a 22 year old girl who was at the time going through a divorce with her 24 year old Australian Husband. I met the family, they took me out, never asked for a penny, all was good. Sometimes her soon to be ex would ring and she said they were arranging the divorce. I am not the facebook kind but looked at hers one morning and her soon to be ex sent a strange message of love and missing his angel He was still married to her, she was having her way with me, and the family didn't say a word. I left her and told the Aussie guy on facebook, sure I was the bad guy, having it with a married woman, but I 100% didn't know. I thought at the time would it be a good idea telling him as the way the family and girl covered all those little lies it would surely happen again. This girl no word of a lie was a nymphomaniac, I had about 14 hours sleep a week and I said I had enough one night and it ended up me driving to her mums at 3am after an hours argument. I thought nymphs were supposed to be fun but it nearly killed me.(sorry off topic) Anyway I am babbling. this girl and the whole family knew the truth but turned a blind eye, they were expert liers. I am sure they were playing the long game and cash was soon to be expected as this is the only reason I can see point. Amazing Thailand Edited March 31, 2013 by Scully 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvy Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 i believe this is just another excuse to bash the Thai people , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lomatopo Posted March 31, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) I'm not sure 'loyalty' is the right word to use in this situation? Perhaps you mean 'discretion'? Expecting service employees to behave exactly as you desire, without telling them of course, and also exercising a high level of discretion, may be asking a bit too much. Most people are smart enough to know that you do not defecate in the same the general area where you eat. Most Thais, and foreigners, would use a curtain hotel or have an alternate love shack. Edited March 31, 2013 by lomatopo 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattayadingo Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 You can bet your bottom dollar that she has the telephone numbers of more than one of these people. Knowing she is to be away from you she will already have set up her spy network and the reports will be flooding in to her for each of your indiscretions. Your comings and goings will be noted. The time you leave and the time you come back. Drunk, sober, smelling of perfume, all will be noted. Yes, the jungle drums beat so well here. Buy some armour plating for your third leg, if you want to keep it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indrid Cold Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 There are no secrets in Thailand. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Does anyone besides me find the term "jungle drums" more than a bit disturbing? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiang mai Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Does anyone besides me find the term "jungle drums" more than a bit disturbing? It is a turn of phrase as I'm sure you will realise if you were to think about it, we could use the term, "bush telegraph" which would mean the same thing but others might find that to be an obscene and sexist term so please, let's not get into political correctness here! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 It is a turn of phrase as I'm sure you will realise if you were to think about it, we could use the term, "bush telegraph" which would mean the same thing but others might find that to be an obscene and sexist term so please, let's not get into political correctness here!- Heaven forbid! Sorry but both expressions are new to me, I guess "grapevine" or just plain rumours/gossip is what would have come to my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USNret Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 21 replies, and where's the OP? Somebody better check on his well-being. Maybe the GF is back. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiang mai Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 It is a turn of phrase as I'm sure you will realise if you were to think about it, we could use the term, "bush telegraph" which would mean the same thing but others might find that to be an obscene and sexist term so please, let's not get into political correctness here!-Heaven forbid! Sorry but both expressions are new to me, I guess "grapevine" or just plain rumours/gossip is what would have come to my mind. Not to side track too far on this point, but: I did a piece of work for a Canadian firm in the 1990's and one of the company's SVP's, a female, came over to do a review. Being a good sort she tried to make useful suggestions in order to justify her trip, to one of which I replied, "we can suck it and see". The woman went spare and accused me of making sexist statements, demeaning her role and gender in public and all manner of other nasty things. When she'd finished her lengthy rant I pointed out that the term was derived from Hershey's the candy maker who some years earlier had produced different flavours of candy but all had the same colour, in order to see what type you had selected it was necessary to suck it and see. She was very embaressed afterwards to which my collegue put forth, "that's what you get for wasting your time at school, not reading more books and for playing too many video games instead". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunFon Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 "that's what you get for wasting your time at school, not reading more books and for playing too many video games instead". - Or just not being mindful about what's coming out of your mouth when speaking to people with even slightly different cultural backgrounds in a sensitive situation. A stance that being a schoolteacher overseas helps one hone, learn to speak like Janet and John ("Dick and Jane" for the yanks). . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nautilus05 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 haha... I'm sorry, but how ironic. Some guy who's cheating on his girl is asking how loyal the Thai security guards and maintenance guys are going to be. lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellodolly Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 For me, if she is my close friend, I will tell her everything since it's "best friend's duty" to do. If she is not my close friend, I will keep it secret until she raises the question. You bring up a good point. forgetting the fact that she already knows the culture will make sure of that. A person should think about what they would do if it was their good friend being cheated on and you knew they really cared about that happening and would make a change in the relationship so that they would not feel so bad about it like dump the partner and in time find another one. Chances are pretty good that any one doing that much cheating is not exactly endearing them selves to the staff that is watching this going on. What would you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattayadingo Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Does anyone besides me find the term "jungle drums" more than a bit disturbing? Only if you are being too sensitive. The term does not have to denote any colour or race. Unless you want it to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuna Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Unfaithful man asking for loyalty. It's ridiculous, don't you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Like Thai Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 "Would they honor their job" This only exists in your head 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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